I don't think I would've been able to live with myself if he had actually killed himself... I was the last person he talked to, I tried to convince him not to take his life for 30 minutes, and knowing I couldn't help him would've destroyed me...

He even wanted me to take over his instagram account...

I always knew he was in a lot of pain though, and talking with me was painful because he loved me or something lol and he wanted me to block him, so then I was like "if you wanna stop talking with me that badly, then you can block me" and then he started saying "bye Kate" and things like that and I thought he was just gonna block me (even though it was kinda obvious that he was talking about suicide)

I didn't understand what he was talking about until he started mentioning his last words...

I was up until four in the morning talking with Mal on the phone 'cause I told her what happened and she wanted to comfort me XD

I also feel kinda bad 'cause after almost an hour had gone and he still hadn't answered, I panicked and started sending messages to some of his instagram friends, asking if they had heard from him, and now I need to go apologize to them lol