⚠️ Trigger Warning: Violence

𝔸𝕧𝕒

Music plays on the stereo as I try, unsuccessfully, to focus on work. I've been staring at my screen for what feels like forever but I've made no progress at all. When I hear Zane come upstairs, I consider it a welcome opportunity to step away from the computer for a moment.

"Hello, love," he says, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Hey," I say, leaning back into him. "Whatcha up to today?"

"Not sure yet. Still waiting to hear back from Kami."

"She hasn't called yet?"

"That's what I just said," he says curtly, pulling away.

"Okay, then, smartass," I say, spinning my chair to face him. "What's got your panties in a twist today?"

"Besides having every demon in the world trying to kill me and a breakable human girlfriend who's now attracting every creep on the planet?"

Ouch.

I get that he's under stress, but I don't see why I'm getting the brunt of his attitude.

"Thanks," I say with an eye roll.

"Oh, so now I've offended you?" he asks.

"Well, I'm not particularly fond of being called breakable and you implying that I'm a burden because I'm human."

"I can't just tiptoe around you being fragile, okay?" he says. "I mean, even by human standards, you're far from hardy."

Well, fuck you very much.

"Did you come up here just to insult me?" I ask, standing up and crossing my arms.

"No, your ego is apparently just as delicate as the rest of you."

"Oh, fuck off!"

"Make me," he says, stepping toward me with a disturbing glint in his eyes.

I push his chest but he remains still and lets out a smug laugh at my failed attempt. As my eyes meet his, a hand swings through the air almost faster than I can see and collides with my face.

I stumble back in shock, just barely keeping my footing. My jaw drops in shock as the stinging sensation spreads from my cheek to my ear and jaw.

"What..." I whisper, unable to comprehend what I'm experiencing.

Where did this come from? Is this really Zane? Could Asmodeus be back?

I shiver at the thought and step backward.

"You're... you're not Zane," I say softly. "You can't be."

"Oh really?" he asks with a devious laugh. He pinches his own arm before looking back to me. "I certainly feel like me."

He swings again and this time his fist hits my face with enough momentum to knock me off my feet. My tailbone hits the ground with a heavy thud, pain immediately radiating from the spot.

On instinct, I scrabble to my knees and begin to crawl away, but I feel a kick to my side that brings me to the ground.

"Stop!" I scream. "This isn't you!"

Another kick hits my abdomen and the sharp pain makes me gasp for air.

"No! Stop!" I yell again, trying to pull myself away.

I feel my body shaking and I clench my eyes shut, sending tears streaming down my face.

This isn't right. It doesn't make sense. What is happening to him?

The shaking intensifies and I open my eyes to see a panicked Zane hovering above me.

"Baby, wake up!" he says, his voice trembling and his eyes full of fear.

My eyes take in the sight in front of me: a shirtless, terrified Zane and a low white ceiling—the one in our bedroom. I turn my head to the right and see my nightstand and enough sun peeking through the blinds to let me know it's early morning.

Shit. It was a dream.

I let out a heavy sigh and my muscles relax.

"Are you okay?" Zane asks breathlessly.

"Yeah," I say softly. "I had a bad dream. It... it was a dream, right?"

"Why?" he asks. "Were you dreaming of an Incubus? Was it Kieran?"

"Is that possible?"

"I mean, if it were an Incubus, I would be able to feel it," he says. "It was definitely just a dream. Does that mean it was Kieran? Are you afraid of Kieran, baby?"

"No, no. Not at all. It wasn't Kieran."

"Are you sure?" he asks. "You can tell me, love. You seemed so terrified, it tore me apart to see you like that. What was happening? Who were you so scared of?"

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I couldn't tell him, my sweet and loving boyfriend, that the monster in my nightmares was the one he fears the most.

So instead, I do the only thing I can do: I lie.

"It was no one, just a creepy shadow. They didn't even have a face."

*****

Jen sits across the table from me with her eyes wide and a stunned look on her face.

"You didn't..." she says.

"I did," I say, shaking my head. "What was I supposed to say?"

"No, you're right. You couldn't just tell him. Based on what you've told me, it sounds like that would've crushed him. It's just... it's a bad situation is all."

"You're telling me," I say, letting my head drop into my hands.

"He can't hear us, can he?" she asks softly, raising her shoulders slightly and looking around the apartment.

"No, Kami came and picked him up to bring him to her house this morning. They're meeting with some supernatural doctor of some sort."

"Okay, good. So do you think you're really afraid of Zane? Because if you are, I can help you get away. We can figure it out."

"No!" I snap. "I am not at all afraid of Zane. Even in the dream, I knew something was wrong, I knew it wasn't him... but..."

"But what?"

"Sometimes I have nightmares—or flashbacks—about Asmodeus attacking me when he looked like Zane."

"He attacked you while looking like Zane?? You didn't tell me that part!"

"He was a sadistic creep," I say, my jaw clenched. "He wanted me to think that Zane had betrayed me because he knew it would hurt Zane. He filmed it and sent it to Zane."

"Fucking fracking fuck, Ava," she says, her hand covering her mouth in shock. "What a son of a bitch. I'm glad you killed him, otherwise I'd have a demon to kill and these are not demon-murdering shoes."

I giggle as I look down at her chunky black heeled boots.

"I'm so sorry, girl," she says, shaking her head and closing her eyes for a moment. "I hate that that happened to you, but I think these dreams are a totally real, and normal reaction to trauma like that. He stole your boyfriend's face, that's fucked up."

"I just don't want him thinking that he's a monster, because he's not."

"I get it." Jen nods with a slight frown. "You're protecting him. I would've done the same thing."

"Thanks," I say with a sigh. "Anyways, I assume you came over for a reason and not just to hear me talk about my dreams."

"Well, the main reason I'm here is because I took a personal day to run a bunch of tests for you guys and I found several interesting things."

"Do tell."

"So, um, has anyone ever tested you for autoimmune diseases?"

"Yeahhh..." I say, suspiciously. "They were all negative."

"Well, since I wanted to learn more about your body's healing, I ran a couple tests and your ANA test came back positive."

The words came back positive are so foreign to me that I blink slowly several times to process her words.

"What?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"I don't know which, but you have an autoimmune disease."

"You... I... I have... the test actually shows something?"

"It does," she says. "It's um... not a great thing to hear, I know, but..."

Nobody wants to have a serious disease, but at the same time, knowing that there's an official name for whatever is wrong with me is an incredible relief.

"No, Jen," I say, leaping across the table to give her a hug. "This is so, so helpful. Thank you!"

"Wow," she says, dumbfounded as I pull away. "I didn't see that as going over all that well, but I know you wanted answers. I'm glad this is a start for you."

"What else did you find?"

"Well, because your body's immune system is fighting itself, the antibody equivalents in Zane's blood seem to be working overtime. It doesn't seem to mean much for you, but it might be having an effect on Zane's healing. I need to do more tests before I can draw any conclusions."

"You mean, I'm making him sick?" I ask. My heart stops at the thought.

"No, no," she says, shaking her head vehemently. "If anything, you're making him stronger. His body replicates the healing effects in yours, but his body has nothing to heal. It's hard to say exactly what's going on, but I think it could be a good thing. At the very least, he won't be getting a cold anytime soon."

I chuckle at the mere idea of Zane with a cold. He acted like a baby a few days ago when he had to vicariously deal with period cramps. I can only imagine how he'd handle a stuffy nose or a cough.

"I'm glad being sick can at least be a good thing for once, I guess," I say.

"Anyway," Jen says, pulling a few folded sheets of paper from her pocket, "I was able to find the pheromones in the blood, like we thought. It seems to be closest to chemicals found in quails during mating."

"Quails?" I say, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Yep," she says, giggling. "You're dating a bird man. Speaking of which, we never finished our conversation the other day when Zane got all defensive about it. What are we talking? Is it unusually large? Unusually small? Barbed? Ribbed for her pleasure?"

"Eww, Jen!" I shriek. "Barbed?"

"Yeah, it's a thing. Google cat penises!"

"No, I will not Google that and neither should you or anyone else. How did you even end up... you know what, I don't wanna know. What did you find out about the pheromones?"

"Well, you're in luck, because I am the one-and-only, super-awesome Jen..." she says with a smile. "I know how to fix it."