Psychotic!Remus au | Human au

Warning: blood/gore, murder, human and animal death, self harm, abuse

Its a fucked up chapter okay like seriously, if you are sensitive to any of this stuff, I advise you not to read... I didn't add too much graphic detail but if you have a very.. Imaginative brain like mine and can put words into a clear image in your head this might not be the best for you...

Remus' POV

(2)

I remember the first time I held a knife in my hands.

I remember that the first thing I wanted to do was to stab something but before I could do anything, mom had found me and took the knife away.

But I also remember the large purple and black bruise on her cheek.

-

(5)

I remember my first day of Kindergarten.

I remember all the kids looking at me like I was different.

And I remember Roman making friends on the very first day and leaving me alone.

But I also remember the first kid who talked to me.
The first kid who taunted me.
The first kid I stabbed with a pencil in the leg.

I remember the joy and satisfaction I got from it.

--

(7)

I remember the first time that I got beat.

I remember the pain of being belted multiple times over my back.

I remember the choking feeling as air flow was cut off between my throat by my fathers hand wrapped tightly around my neck.

I remember my mother, standing there, watching, but not daring to interfere. Nothing but disgusting pity in her pained eyes. But I could tell that she was glad that it wasn't her. And I knew that if it had been Roman, she would have done something about it.

I remember the bleeding cuts and bruises of the aftermath.

And I remember liking every second of it.

---

(10)

I remember the first time I cut myself.

I remember the sickening, stinging feeling of pain that I so much enjoyed as I made long, deep gashes into my arms.

I remember watching the sticky, dark red liquid oozing slowly out, running down my arm and dripping onto the floor, creating a puddle around me.

I remember just sitting there, admiring my work with pride and lust for more.

I remember the feeling of dread and disappointment that I would have to wait until my arms had at least stopped bleeding to make more, as to not kill myself or pass out from blood loss.

----

(12)

I remember my first kill.

I remember being outside.

I remember my neighbors cat, who was pregnant at the time, coming into our backyard.

I remember it wailing in pain.

I remember cutting open its stomach, taking out the nearly ready to be born kittens.

I remember there were six.

I remember that they all died.

And I remember hiding the bodies.

----

(16)

I remember my first murder.

I remember laying in bed. Listening to the screams of pain coming from my mother as my father cussed at her, repeatedly beating her as she begged him to stop.

I remember waiting, with my knife in my hands.

I remember creeping into their room, seeing them both asleep.

I remember my mother waking up, asking me what I was doing.

I remember the satisfying terrified and panicked look on my fathers face as my mother begged and screamed for me not to do it but to no avail.

I remember the blood soaking the bed, splattered on the walls and smeared on my clothes and knife.

I remember licking the knife, tasting the fresh, warm blood on my tongue, mixed of both my mother and fathers, though strangely I could tell the difference.

I remember the shrill scream, filled with pain, sadness and fear, from behind me.

I remember that the scream had come from Roman, coming home after an outing with his boyfriend (imagine whoever you want).

I remember smiling at him, grinning widely, my T-shirt showing all of the beautiful works of art I made on my arms. Some old, some new. They were like my tattoos.

"Shhh."

----------

Kind of an abrupt ending and like really messed up but I was inspired and I feel like people don't give Remus enough love! He's basically just 'Romans Brother TM' in most fanfics! I know this probably doesn't make anyone really love Remus more but I like the idea of him being a psychopath (maybe not THIS kind exactly but u know what I mean right?)!

Word Count: 767

Date Published: October 23rd, 2019