Trigger warnings: Forced kissing, swearing/cussing, crying, unsympathetic!Roman, breakdown/panic attack, mentions of cheating (obviously), minor physical violence e.g. pushing away

There are two endings, ones angst and ones happy ending which also ends up being twist Anxceitmus. I make up shit as I go once I have an idea, dont question it.

Its 5am and I can't sleep. Help me.

Virgil's POV

I was downstairs hanging out with my boyfriend, Remus. Patton and Logan had their own place because they were trying to build their life together, Janus was in his room, probably taking care of his snakes, and Roman was upstairs, probably in his room singing Disney or some shit.

Remus and I were cuddling when he said he realised he forgot to do something upstairs, he gave me a quick kiss and left. He didnt say what, but he brought a large plate of food that mostly consisted of... raw meat, so I didnt question it.

I sat on the couch, half laying, half sitting with my back against the arm of the couch, just scrolling through Instagram on my phone.

"Hey Virge," a voice said.

I looked up to see Roman walking weirdly into the living room.

"Hey," I replied simply, ignoring his weird behavior.

The twins are always weird, so I didnt see it as a big deal.

He walked around to the front of the couch and I noticed a strange look in his eye.. though I couldn't place my finger on what it was. I put my phone down on the coffee table and sat up more, giving him a confused look.

"Are you okay, is something bothering you?"

"Mm, you could say that," he said and slowly crawled on top of me.

My face heated up and I froze. I wasn't sure what to do. This wasn't like Roman. Should I push him off? Should I scream for help? Is that over dramatic? Is he really just doing nothing and I'm the one taking it the wrong way?! What. The. Fuck?!

"R-Roman, wh-what are y-" he shushed me and leaned forward, kissing me.

I was shocked to say the least, I tried to pull my head back and push him away but my head was against the arm of the couch and I wasn't strong enough to push him away.

There was a sudden sound of a smashing plate and Roman pulled away, sitting up suddenly. I looked to the sound and my heart dropped.

Remus...

His eyes were full of sadness, fear and betrayal which quickly turned to rage and betrayal. He was shaking, I opened my mouth to speak but he spoke before me.

"Dont." He growled lowly, spinning around and running back upstairs.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I quickly turned to Roman.

He shrugged, "good riddance, anyway-"

"What the fuck did you do?!" I screamed at him, standing up quickly.

"What did I do?" He questioned as if genuinely confused, "what did YOU do?"

"What..?"

He chuckled and stood up slowly, "well you didnt try very hard to stop me, darling."

He walked closer and held my chin softly, looking down at me with lust filled eyes.

I felt a sudden wave of anger wash over me and I glared at him harshly, ripping his hand off of me.

"Fuck you Roman, I hope you fucking burn in hell!" I yell push him back, in which he only stumbled a bit.

I ran upstairs and quickly knocked on Remus' door, tears flowing down my face even harder.

Maybe it's not too late, maybe I can explain and he'll understand..!

"Who is it?" I heard a heartbroken and angry Remus yell through the door.

"Its Virgil.."  I swallow the lump in my throat enough to say without my voice cracking or breaking down even more.

There was a moment of silence before another voice spoke from inside the room.

"He doesnt want to see you right now!" Janus called.

My heart broke further and fear, guilt, anxiety and regret jolted through me.

I always knew Janus liked Remus, I could tell by the way he looked at him and the way he talk to or about him. But I never thought Remus would ever cheat on me with him or do anything like that, so I didnt say anything about it.

That's what Remus thought about you as well but look what happened.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered quietly to the point I was about 90% certain neither of them could hear me and ran into my room before I could choke out a sob.

I slid down the door, crying for a few minutes, I wasn't sure how long. Eventually I got up, opening my window and climbing on the roof, not bothering to shut it.

I put my knees up, curling in on myself and squeezing my eyes tight, a few more tears slipping from them. But at this point I felt like I didnt have anymore tears to shed. I stayed like that for however long, I wasn't sure.

(ANGST ENDING)

The next morning, I hoped I would be able to talk to Remua about everything. I walked downstairs to find Remus and Janus making out passionately against the wall.

It hasn't even been a day. He's already moved on. We havent even officially broken up..

Tears began flowing out of my eyes.

"Hurts, doesnt it?" Remus smirked, his arms still around Janus.

I glared at him, "I never fucking cheated you asshole, maybe if you had taken a second to actually listen to me you would have figured that out you dumbass!" I yelled at him, his eyes turned to surprise and regret and he opened his mouth to say something but I left, running up the stairs quickly.

I didnt know if he was following me or not, I didnt care either way. I ran into my room, slamming and locking the door. I couldn't hear or see, everything just felt surreal and fuzzy. I packed my suitcase with clothes and a backpack with necessities. Just as I had finished, I heard the door burst open.

"VIRGIL- Virgil?" Remus screeched, his voice going softer after he saw me.

I ignored him and avoided eye contact, throwing the backpack over my shoulder and taking the handle of the suitcase, beginning to walk out of the room but Remus blocked me.

"Move out of my way, Remus."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," I glared up at him.

"Oh yeah, where are you gonna go?" Remus crossed his arms.

"To Patton and Logan's, then I'll find my own apartment and you'll never have to see my cheating ass again," I said, sarcastically at the end.

I went to walk forward again but Remus just blocked me more.

"Virge, babe, please, can't we just talk this out?" He begged.

"Oh, so when I want to talk it out its 'fuck off' but when you want to I'm supposed to run into your arms while you tell me everything is going to be alright when it's not?! I'm fucking done, Remus. I did nothing wrong, so why dont you go talk it out with your horny brother."

I shoved past him and walked down the hall and down the stairs.

"Virgil wait, please!" Remus pleaded, grabbing me by the arm, startling me. The bag fell half way down my arm and I whirled around to face him, "please.. don't go.."

My heart broke. His eyes were full of tears that inevitably began falling down his cheeks and he had such a hurt and scared expression on his face. I wanted nothing more than to hug him and say that I'm sorry and for him to tell me it was okay. That everything was going to be alright because no matter what we had each other.

I began tearing up and looked away. I put the bag down for a second and took off my sweater and tossed it at him, picking up the bag and gripping the suitcase once again.

"Keep it. Goodbye Remus."

And with that, I walked out the door.

(Imagine what you want happened after this, whether he left and never came back or they got together again or whatever :3
Tbh I was gonna end it with Virgil committing suicide but I decided that was a little too.. dramatic I suppose. Though maybe he did after because he couldn't live with himself. Who knows, its whatever you, the reader, believe)

(ANXCEITMUS ENDING)

I put my knees up, curling in on myself and squeezing my eyes tight, a few more tears slipping from them. But at this point I felt like I didnt have anymore tears to shed. I stayed like that for however long, I wasn't sure.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I quickly flinched away from it.

"Go the fuck away, Roman, I dont want to talk to you or even look at you ever again!" I yelled, more tears coming out.

"Its Janus.."

"Oh, what do you want?" I asked, my eyes now open, giving him a quick glance, almost as if to doubt check that it was Janus, before glaring away at nothing.

"I wanted to comfort you and make sure you dont do anything stupid."

"In that case, go comfort Remus and make sure he doesnt do anything stupid. I dont deserve your comfort anyway.." I mumbled the last part, looking down as a wave of guilt washed over me

"Why?" Janus questioned.

"Huh?" I looked up at him.

"Why don't you deserve to be comforted during this? Did you cheat?"

"No! I would never cheat on Remus! Well, not on purpose.. it.. its complicated!"

"Not really, you either did or you didnt. Did you kiss Roman?"

"No!"

"Did you kiss Roman back when he kissed you? Did you want to kiss Roman?"

"No!"

"Well then, there's your answer."

"But Remus-"

"-Will understand and get over it."

I was silent, lost in thought. We both sat there in surprisingly comfortable silence as the sun set in the distance, making pretty colours in the sky.

"Janus.. thank you.."

Janus smiled at me softly and gently took my hand in his as my heart melted.

"Its no problem Virge, w- you and Remus will get through anything that's thrown your way, I know it and as long as I'm around I'll make sure of it," he gave a smirk, but there was something behind it that I couldn't make out.

We both stayed, staring at each others eyes, his eyes flickered down at my lips and back to my eyes, I found my own eyes doing the same and my heart began pounding.

Kiss him.

No Virgil! What the fuck are you doing?! Remus is your boyfriend and hes already mad at you for supposedly cheating on him with his own brother, you dont need him mad at you for actually cheating! You shouldn't be feeling this way about Janus while you're with Remus anyway!

I bet he doesnt even feel the same anyway.

Jesus fuck, sometimes I think I have more intrusive thoughts than Remus.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and broke the eye contact, looking in the opposite direction.

"I, uh, I-I'm sorry-"

"No, I'm sorry, that was weird..!"

"Uh, yeah, eheh.."

Yeah, weirdo.

What is your problem?

I saw something black and green out of the corner of my eye and noticed Remus climbing onto the roof and walking over to us.

I quickly stood up, closing my eyes and putting my head down, getting ready to be yelled at for how much of an idiot I am and be potentially broken up with.

But, instead, I was met with warmth surrounding me. I opened my eyes in shock.

"Its alright, I know it wasn't your fault, you didnt do anything wrong. Roman admitted to everything and I kicked him out."

And just when I thought I couldn't cry more that day than I already have, my eyes flood with tears and I begin sobbing into Remus' shirt. My legs give way and we sit on the roof, still hugging each other tightly, tears softly falling from Remus' eyes while mine are pouring out, this time more from happiness.

"I thought you were going to leave me..!" I choked out.

Remus let out a sad chuckle and hugged me tighter, "never."

We pulled away a few seconds later and Remus wiped away some of my tears with his thumb. We smiled at each other, just happy in the moment.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Janus sadly smile and begin walking away.

"Jan? Where are you going?" I called, Remus turned around to look at Janus as well.

"I, well, you guys were just having a moment and I thought I should probably.. not.. intrude or just watch like a creep.." he explained, awkwardly.

I rolled my eyes, "get over here you boop noodle."

I motioned for him to sit next to me in which he did, awkwardly, but I could tell he was happy he could stay.

"Ooo, that's a pretty sunset, it's got both of your favourite colours!" Remus pointed out to us.

Janus and I looked to the sunset, then at each other and blushed slightly, looking away.

"Yeah I guess so.." we said at the same time, then lightly chuckled.

God what is happening?!? I like both of them... but Remus is my boyfriend! And Janus doesnt like me, he likes Remus! Get your shit together Virgil.

We watched the sunset together more, the yellow, orange and purple mixing together nicely. I usually dont get tired till at least 12am, but after all that crying, I was like Ron from Harry Potter. Exhausted.

I yawned a bit, keeping my eyes closed and leaning against Remus.

"Uh, Virgil?" Janus questioned.

"Mm?"

"You're leaning on me.."

Remus is going to think you're cheating again and break up with you!

"O-oh, I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to I w-was ju-just tired and-" I stuttered, scared.

"Virge, it's okay," Remus reassured.

"Ye-yeah, I really didnt mind," Janus admitted, rubbing his neck.

"O-okay..."

We sat in silence once again, this time much more awkward

Janus sighed, "okay, you guys may hate me, but I need to get something off my chest and it's totally okay if you dont agree and I know it's already been quite a hectic day for yo-"

"Janus! Get to the point." Remus rolled his eyes playfully.

Janus sighed once again, "I really like both of you, more than friends, I have for a long time now. It's just that you guys got together and I didn't want to come in and ruin it so I never said anything. Again, its alright if neither of you feel the same but I thought you should know.." Janus looked away at the end.

"Well, Virgil, how do you feel? Do you like Janus as well?" Remus asked, which surprised me a bit.

"I- uh- well.." anxiety rushed through me and thoughts raced around my head on what I should say, but eventually, I chose the truth, ".. I like Janus in more than a friend way as well.. but I also like you.."

I hesitantly looked up at Remus, once again hugging my knees up to my chest.

Remus sighed in relief, "alright, thank Satan we all feel the same otherwise that'd be awkward!"

"Wait you both do as well?" Janus said in surprise.

"Yeup!" Remus said, popping the p at the end. I just nodded.

"So.. what does that make us..?" Jan asked.

We both looked at Remus.

"Uh, boyfriends, duh."

Janus smiled brightly and hugged us.

"So who's the top and bottom?"

"Oh Virgils DEFINITELY bottom."

"Agreed."

"Hey! >:0"

"We can take turns being top."

"Sounds fair, alright!"

"I'm uncomfortable.."

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*looks at word count*
Soooo..... clearly I enjoyed that. Dukexiety and Anxceitmus is like my life now aight. And yes I spent 4 gay hours on this when I should have been sleeping, what of it?
I literally could not sleep last night and then I couldn't get this idea out of my head so I wrote it. And no I did not proof read it at all before publishing it. Sue me.

Word Count: 2,732

Date Published: May 27th, 2020