IMAGINARY

Ashton

He hated it.

He hated being scared. He hated sitting and being scared of his own mind.

He jumped every time someone came into his room to give him medication.

He was scared of Niall.

He was scared of Harry.

He was scared of Louis.

He was just scared.

So when the door opened and five people burst in, Ashton all but screamed and cowered in the corner.

"Dude, it's okay, it's just us," Calum said, immediately jumping onto the bed with him. "Ash, man! We've missed you!"

"Yeah," Luke agreed, and Ashton noticed he had a guitar on his back.

"Why're you here?" Ashton asked.

Hazelle sat on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?" she asked him quietly.

Ashton shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

That was a lie. He was scared out of his mind by his mind. How twisted.

Yeah, he was scared of all of them.

But mostly he was scared of himself.

"Ashton."

An all-too familiar voice made Ashton stiffen. "Niall?" he whispered.

"What was that?" Michael asked, helping Luke adjust the guitar strap.

"Nothing," Ashton murmured, rubbing his face. "So, uh, you brought a guitar."

"Luke wrote you a song!" Michael announced, beaming proudly.

Luke flushed. "It's nothing, really," he mumbled. "And Calum helped."

Clover shoved him. "Shut up, you know your song is beautiful."

"We're all going to sing it for you now!" Calum said, jumping off the bed.

Luke hesitantly started strumming the guitar, and slowly grew more confident.

"Even when the sky is falling down, even when the earth is crumbling round my feet," Luke sang.

"Even when we try to say goodbye you could cut the tension with a knife in here," Calum continued, looking down at the floor and shuffling his feet, clearly uncomfortable but singing clearly regardless.

"Cos I know what'll happen if we get through this," Michael sang.

"And if the earth ends up crumbling down to its knees baby we just gotta get out, we just gotta get out," the five of them sang, the girls singing much more quietly than the guys.

Ashton began tapping on the wall absentmindedly, creating a rhythm for the rest of the song.

"Hey, that was surprisingly good," Calum said, and everyone laughed.

Ashton smiled widely. "Wow. Thanks so much you guys. That was... the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

Hazelle motioned for him to stand up, and they all gave him a hug. "Get better soon," Calum said, patting his back.

"Or Luke will have to write you another song," Michael joked, and Luke elbowed him.

"Hey!"

"Alright, alright, we gotta let Ashton rest so he can get better. You guys wanna head back to the rec room? I'll join you soon," Hazelle said.

Clover raised an eyebrow, but simply said, "YO! FIRST ONE THERE GETS TO PICK THE RACE COURSE!"

"THIS ISN'T FAIR! I HAVE A GUITAR!" Luke shrieked as everyone took off.

Chuckling, Hazelle looked up at Ashton. "How are you, really?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Meh."

"Have you seen him recently?"

Ashton shook his head. "No. But I-" he cut off.

Hazelle looked at him with concern. "What?"

"I'm scared he's going to come back," he muttered reluctantly.

Hazelle took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Your medication will help with that," she said firmly. "And your will. You don't want to see him."

Ashton was silent.

Hazelle's eyebrows furrowed together. "You don't want to see him, right?"

He shrugged.

She groaned. "Oh, no, please, not another Harry."

"I'm not in love with Niall," Ashton said quietly. "It's just, he was my best friend for a long time. My only friend. Even though he's kind of different now, it still feels right when he's here."

"He's not real," she whispered.

Ashton let go of her hand and ran his fingers through his hair, sighing in frustration. "I know, and it pisses me off."

"Don't worry, you'll be fine, and then you'll be able to come out and see how badly Luke sucks at Rainbow Road. Although, I'm starting to think he's losing on purpose so that Michael can play," Hazelle said thoughtfully. "Well, I have to go visit Harry, but we'll all be back soon, okay?"

Ashton nodded silently, and Hazelle gave him one last smile before walking out.

-

"You're insane."

"You're the psychotic one who wanted to kill Ashton."

"I want to kill a lot of people who hurt you."

"Ashton never hurt me, you freak."

"Don't call me a freak, darling. I love you. I'm sorry I upset you."

"I don't want to hurt anyone."

"But baby, isn't it better to hurt them before they can hurt us?"

"I love you, you know I do, but Lou, we can't do that."

"Harry-"

"Sh! Someone's coming!"

"He's not doing very well," Harry heard the nurse say on the other side of his door. "You have to be careful."

"Hazelle."

Harry wasn't sure which of them said the name.

"I know. I'll be careful."

The door opened slowly, and Harry stared as Hazelle walked in. "Hey, Harry," she said quietly, lingering by the door.

Harry waved weakly. "Hi."

"Why are you being nice?" Louis hissed, pacing back and forth.

Harry followed Louis with his eyes. "She hasn't done anything, babe," he said quietly.

Louis made a noise of anger and shook his head, continuing to pace back and forth.

"Harry? How are you?"

Questions. They always came with questions. But Harry knew Hazelle wasn't here to bother him.

He hoped Louis knew that too.

"You're stuck here," she whispered, sounding upset. "I'm worried."

"Me too."

"They said you aren't taking your medication," she continued in a hushed voice, and Louis snarled so violently that Harry jumped.

"Louis!" he shrieked, and Hazelle jumped.

"I hate her. She's just like all of them. Take your medicine, Harry. Do this, Harry. Do that, Harry. Liam makes you do stuff all the time. Aren't you sick of it?" Louis yelled, and Harry winced.

"Harry?" Hazelle asked, but Louis was blocking her.

"Well?"

"She's just trying to help," Harry said weakly. "Babe, just let her talk."

Louis softened at the nickname. "Okay, fine," he muttered, sitting next to Harry with a huff.

Harry focused on Hazelle. "Don't talk about medication," he advised, and Louis muttered something under his breath.

There were tears in her eyes. "Harry, please, please take it. He's destroying you. Please. Help yourself. Take it."

He was already shaking his head before she finished talking. "I can't do that to him. I love him, Hazelle."

"I-"

"I want her gone!" Louis screamed, jumping up and lunging towards Hazelle.

"No!" Harry shrieked, jumping to his feet, and Louis disappeared right before he hit Hazelle.

Stunned, Harry nearly fell over. "Louis?"

"Harry?"

"Hazelle?"

"Harry, what just happened?"

Harry rubbed his eyes, and then his forehead. "I have no idea. But he's gone."

"He... why were you yelling?"

Harry bit his lip. "He was gonna hurt you."

Hazelle's eyes widened. "Oh."

"I'm sorry. I'm so so so so sorry. I... you should go. Go and be safe from me. I'm a monster." Harry fell onto his bed and wrapped his arms around himself. "A monster."

"You're not, Harry, you're not-"

"Please," he whispered. "Please go."

Hazelle looked at him helplessly before turning and walking out, shutting the door behind her.

Harry didn't know how long he was lying there, eyes clenched shut, rocking himself, before he registered someone softly caressing his curls.

He pried his eyes and saw Louis sitting at the end of the bed, gently smoothing with his curls. "Hi," Louis whispered.

"Hi," Harry whispered back.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

And that was that.

-

Calum didn't know what to think of Liam.

He was buff, that was for sure. Buff and scary looking. Not Zayn scary, but still, scary.

Liam was sitting on the couch, chatting with Hazelle and Zayn, who had left the room to talk to Liam. Liam was wearing a white tank top that displayed his impressive muscles and a black snapback.

Hazelle was crying, which made Calum uncomfortable. He was trying to ignore it and focus on Mario Kart, but he was so preoccupied that even Luke beat him.

"Wonder what they're up to," he commented.

Luke, Michael and Clover turned to where he was staring. "Probably talking about Harry," Clover decided.

Michael frowned. "Why would Zayn be talking about Harry?"

"Harry and Zayn used to be roommates," Calum provided.

"Liam's scary-looking," Luke observed.

Michael laughed and lightly elbowed Luke. "I dare you to go say hi."

"No!" Luke squeaked, and Clover laughed.

"Liam's nice, don't be scared."

"I am," Luke said weakly.

"Fine, be a sissy."

"I'm not!"

"Can you two shut up?" Clover asked, kicking Michael.

Michael flipped her off.

"I won?" Calum asked, crossing the finish line.

"What?" Luke and Michael asked at the same time.

"I am not losing to Luke," Michael growled, focusing hard on the game.

"Second!" Clover cheered, high-fiving Calum.

"Hey!" Luke protested as Michael reached over and messed with his remote.

"Third!" Michael yelled, throwing his controller down and doing a victory dance.

Luke smacked his leg, and Michael tackled him, the two of them wrestling on the floor, Luke giggling madly.

"Idiots, both of them," Clover muttered.

Calum grinned. "Seriously."

Clover was too busy watching Michael and Luke to respond, so Calum just sat back and thought about Rose.

He missed her a lot. He hoped she was getting better, wherever she was. He hoped she still thought about him. He hoped she was doing well. He hoped she was healthy.

He hoped a lot of things.