[ A/N I am so sorry at how long this has taken. I tried to make it extra long to make up for the wait. I hope you enjoy. ]

DAMAGED

Liam

Liam would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous.

He'd always known Harry was a bit mental, even without the whole Louis situation, and that made him a little bit less than eager to venture straight into the mouth of the lion.

Still, Harry was his best friend, and he owed him a visit. It had been a while, anyways.

So that's why Liam was standing there, in front of Harry's door, trying to summon the courage to reach out a hand, turn the knob, and open it.

He'd tried to stall by talking to Zayn and Hazelle, chatting about how they were doing, and more importantly, how Harry was doing. Zayn had been stoic, as usual, although his expression was tight when Liam asked him about Harry. Hazelle started crying when she recounted how Harry had reacted when she'd gone to see him.

Liam might look impressive, but at the moment he felt like his stomach was twisting itself into knots.

Finally, he reached out a hand and opened the door.

"Who is it?" a ragged voice croaked before Liam had gotten the door open more than a sliver. And before he'd opened it all the way, the voice had continued, "No, Lou, calm down."

Liam opened the door and looked in.

Harry was lying perfectly still on his back, looking up at the ceiling, one of his hands curled around nothing. He seemed perfectly fine, calm, his expression smooth. But Liam knew Harry enough to recognize the slight clench of his jaw, the subtle wrinkle in his brow.

"Harry?" Liam asked quietly.

The reaction was instantaneous. Harry jumped into a sitting position, eyes locking on Liam, raking him up and down several times before his tense stance relaxed slightly. "Oh, Liam," he muttered, voice rough. "It's all okay. It's all fine. Liam's here now."

Liam was pretty sure Harry wasn't talking to him.

"How are you?" Liam asked.

Harry winced before answering, "Fine, fine." He brushed his hair back; it had gotten rather long. "I'm good, I guess. It's been better... but I've got Lou back." He managed a weak smile.

Pain twisted Liam's expression. "Harry, you know-"

"I love him," Harry said quietly, looking down at his dirty boots before looking back up at Liam, eyes glowing. "I can't explain it. But he's everything. He's the only thing I'm sure about."

Liam groaned inwardly, because he recognized that tone. "The Louis Tone" he'd nicknamed it. It was the tone Harry adopted whenever he talked about Louis. Liam had a fairly good idea of what Louis looked like: they'd tried art therapy on Harry, until they'd realized that Harry drew nothing but Louis.

"Harry, you need to take-"

Harry flinched, and Liam could only guess that Louis hadn't liked that suggestion.

"I can't, I can't lose him."

Liam bit his lip and looked at his friend, his sympathy warring with his practicality. Harry needed to take his medicine. But Harry also needed Louis. Liam had never seen his friend as happy as he was when he was with Louis.

"We want to help you," Liam whispered.

"You can't," Harry said, shaking his head. "But at least I'm happy, right?"

Liam wrapped up the visit with a bit of small talk and left Harry babbling a story about bananas to his bedpost.

He just couldn't figure out what the right thing to do was.

-

"Idiots! You're supposed to take the left path, not the right path, don't you guys have eyes?" Michael shrieked, reaching for Luke's controller yet again.

Luke held it out of reach. "Shut up, I'm focusing," he muttered under his breath.

"I don't think path matters, the destination is all the same," Calum chimed in.

"It matters! It fucking matters! Jesus, I'm playing with novices," Michael moaned, and Clover laughed.

"Easy, tiger, they'll figure it out."

Hazelle's head, which had been resting on the arm of the couch, shot up when she heard someone walk in. Michael turned his head and saw Liam walking in, a troubled expression on his face.

Hazelle shot up and hurried over to him. "Well?" she asked anxiously.

Zayn, who had been brooding on a sofa a distance away from the rest of them, silently walked over to the two. "How is he? Told any more stupid knock-knock jokes?" he asked.

Michael totally forgot about the game as he listened in on their conversation. "No, but he's gotten... I can't say worse, because I've seen him worse than this. That's what's killing me. I know that Louis isn't real and that this is all wrong but he... Harry's happy."

Hazelle trapped her bottom lip between her teeth. "He's infatuated."

"He's in love with what his own mind came up with," Zayn said, sounding frustrated. "He's literally in love with himself."

"Louis has got blue eyes and is quite a bit shorter," Liam blurted, and Hazelle raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know?"

"Art therapy," Liam muttered. "He changes a bit each time, but that's always the same. Blue eyes and short."

"At least he's over the knock-knock jokes," Zayn said to himself, sounding satisfied. "Rooming with him, hearing at least fifteen of them a day-"

"Michael, are you gonna play?"

Michael jumped and then looked at Luke, who was holding out his controller. "Uh, nah, I think I'm going to go back to the room, maybe just think a bit, you know," Michael stammered, somewhat disturbed by the conversation he heard. Maybe he shouldn't have listened.

Luke cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at Michael. "You want me to come with? Is everything okay?"

Before Michael could answer, Clover had lightly slapped his arm and said, "Jeez, over protective girlfriend, relax. Maybe he's just tired."

"Tired, right," Michael mumbled in agreement, running a hand through his hair.

Luke's eyes followed the movement. "The red in your hair is fading," he noted casually.

"Too bad there isn't a convenience store in rehab for me to get some new hair dye," Michael joked half-heartedly.

"Ask Liam to get some for you," Calum suggested. Michael raised an eyebrow, and he shrugged and said, "He gets Zayn all sorts of random shit. Plastic dinosaurs, mostly. Zayn's a weirdo."

"You play with them too, you little shit," Zayn called, and Calum grinned.

"Chiefy misses you!"

"Chiefy can kiss my ass."

"Could you get me some bleach?" Michael asked Liam, who was now facing the group congregated around the crappy TV. "Hair bleach?"

"Yeah, sure," Liam agreed. "I can bring it around next time I visit."

"Awesome."

"Aw, I kind of liked the red," Clover said, reaching over and mussing his hair.

Luke frowned, and Michael said, "It's more of an orangey color, I think. Might just go back to a platinum blonde before picking another color."

"Might go bald before you have that chance," Luke muttered under his breath, and Michael nudged him with his foot, making him laugh.

"Alright, since nobody is playing, I'm going back to my room," Calum said.

"I'm going to visit Ashton," Hazelle announced. "Anyone coming with?"

Calum paused. "That sounds like a better idea," he said. "I'm in."

"I'll come too," Clover said.

Liam and Zayn exchanged a glance. "I think we're just going to talk in Zayn's room," Liam said.

Hazelle turned to Michael and Luke. "How about you two?"

They looked at each other. "I think we're okay," Michael said slowly, and Luke nodded.

"Don't want to overwhelm Ashton with too many people, cos I think we did last time," Luke agreed quickly.

Hazelle smirked but didn't say anything. "Whatever floats your boat, kids, I'll be off."

"You just had to use a ship image, didn't you?" Clover muttered, and Hazelle giggled.

"I do ship it," she said honestly as they walked off towards Ashton's intensive watch unit.

Michael and Luke looked at each other.

"Race you back to the room," Michael said, jumping to his feet and sprinting.

"No fair!" Luke shouted after him, tripping as he tried to get up and stumbling after him.

They got into his room, both panting, smiles plastered on their faces. "I hate you," Luke said, grinning widely.

"No, you don't," Michael corrected him, and Luke rolled his eyes.

"You never know."

"But I do."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Wouldn't you like that," Luke said under his breath, and Michael raised an eyebrow.

"What was that, Hemmings?"

"Nothing."

"Hm?"

"Nothing, you nosy motherfucker."

"Language!"

Luke giggled. "Calum is rubbing off on me."

"I'm not nosy," Michael said, uneasy.

Luke snorted, "Please, as if. I saw you listening in on Liam, Hazelle and Zayn out there. Don't pretend otherwise. What was so vitally interesting, anyways? They're just talking about Harry."

Michael shrugged, jumping onto his bed. "I dunno, I just kind of got drawn into their conversation. I didn't mean to really listen for that long."

"You looked kinda freaked out. What were they talking about?"

"Harry."

"No shit."

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Lucas?"

"No, but you can kiss my ass with yours, you evasive little-"

Michael looked at Luke in horror. "Did we really manage to corrupt you so completely? I'm almost ashamed of myself!"

Luke laughed. "Rehab does things to ya."

"Honestly," Michael said, sounding slightly awed, shaking his head. "You're definitely not the timid little Luke Hemmings I used to know."

"Which do you like better?" Luke asked, settling onto his bed and pulling out his notebook, uncapping a pen with his teeth.

Michael studied him for a minute, watching him scratch words onto the paper before answering.

"This one. I like this one a lot more."

-

Calum didn't ever want to see Ashton again.

He knew it wasn't Ashton's fault, but that didn't keep it from being terrifying.

They walked in, and Ashton was screaming, swear words flying out of his mouth.

"You motherfucking liar! Get the fuck away from me! You don't do shit for me, you little fuck, do you hear? You don't do shit."

"Niall," Hazelle breathed, but Ashton completely ignored her, walking around his room furiously, seeming to follow someone they couldn't see.

"I'm so fucking done with you, and your games, and you trying to get me to feel bad for you. You don't have to! You already won. I won't give you up, you know that. I literally gave everything up for you. Literally. Everything. Everyone. There is no one I have left, and-"

Ashton got cut off when he suddenly slammed himself into the wall. A gasp left all three of their mouths: the girls looked horrified, and Calum just felt sick.

Ashton then backpedaled to the bed, tripping over it and curling up in the corner. "No, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, I-"

"You three need to get out of here," a low voice said, and they turned around to see a nurse. "He's not doing well, I'm afraid."

"What's going to happen to him?" Hazelle asked the nurse.

The nurse pursed her lips. "Probably back to the asylum, honestly. He won't take his medication. He won't listen to his doctor. I think there's nothing more we can do to fix him. They'll probably just keep him under careful watch there to make sure he doesn't do anything too drastic."

Calum wanted to run away and forget that he'd ever seen that. He was sure that if he closed his eyes, he'd have the image of Ashton slamming his head against the wall burned into his memory. "Let's go," he said quietly, leading the girls away.

"But he was getting better..." Hazelle whispered.

Calum's mouth was pressed into a hard line. "We might be, but not all of us." He thought about Rose. He hoped she was doing better. "Not all of us."

-

Ashton was crying.

His head was throbbing, and his lip was split from where Niall punched him. At the moment, he was alone, but he knew Niall could come back any second and continue to assault him.

He gingerly touched the back of his head and winced at the contact, a whine slipping from his lips. Niall had spared nothing, throwing his head against the hard wall mercilessly, over and over, despite Ashton's protests.

"Ash?"

Ashton flinched and tried to retreat further into the corner, a pitiful noise escaping his mouth. Niall was sitting beside him, looking upset.

"Are you okay?" he asked, checking Ashton's bruises and gently looking over his fingers.

Ashton wanted to feel angry. He wanted to yell at Niall. This is what you did! You did this! You do this to me! But all he could feel was weariness.

"No," he croaked, pulling his hands away. "I'm hurt."

Niall pursed his lips, wiping one of Ashton's tears away with his thumb. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just got angry, because you kept on trying to take your medication. You know I don't like that."

Ashton whimpered as his head began to throb, more painfully than it had been previously. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's okay, just don't make me angry. I really am sorry," he said, sounding sincere.

Ashton nodded, starting to drift off to sleep.

"Sleep, and I'll see you when you wake up," Niall whispered, and that was the last thing Ashton heard before he dropped into sleep.