Note: texts in italic represents the person's inner thoughts

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I can't smile...

Everyday, I feel like I have no purpose in life...

Somebody...

Help me...

"Thank you so much! Come again soon."

A young man cheerfully expressed his gratitude and bowed to his last customer who had just bought some candies from his shop. He smiled widely until the door closed behind the customer.

That smile quickly disappeared.

The young man walked towards the door. His feet were almost dragging on the ground. His body felt heavy...

...as if it were a big burden.

He was about to raise his hands to flip the sign on the door to let people know the shop was closed. Suddenly, someone swung the door open.

Another customer... I should have flipped the sign a bit earlier. The young man thought. Despite that, he smiled and said, 'Welcome! We're closing but feel free to have a look around.'

"Ah, thanks."

The young man went back to sit at the counter, watching another man browse through hundreds of candy selections. He was chucking a large amount of candy into a classic wooden shopping basket.

Wow... that's a lot of candy he's buying. I wonder if that's for a gift? Come to think of it, I've never seen him before. This is quite a local district. Maybe he's a traveler.

The shopkeeper, Sunohara Momose, or Momo, watched his customer walking towards him. He had this cool vibe, especially with the silver long hair.

"Oooh, you are buying a lot! Thank you soooo much!" Momo forced his usual 'energetic and cheerful' mode on. On the inside, he actually wanted to just go to bed and lie down, doing nothing.

He felt... nothing.

The cool-looking customer paid for his bag full of sweet-smelling candies. When Momo handed him the change on the tray, he looked straight into Momo's eyes.

"Ne, you..."

The cool guy started to speak. Momo couldn't read him. Momo wasn't sure if the customer was wearing a serious expression or being in his usual neutral state.

"Why are you smiling?" asked the customer.

"Eh?" Momo's eyes widened. What is he saying? What did he mean by that?

"I'm asking why you are smiling. You are a fake."

Fake. The word. That particular word pierced through Momo's heart like a spear. He was hurt. The word described him too well and it was so painful to hear, especially when it came from a complete stranger. Momo came to a standstill. He wanted to open his mouth, keep smiling, and say, 'What do you mean? I'm not faking! This smile is genuine.' but his heart was giving him so much pain that he couldn't lie.

"I'm taking my change. Goodbye."

The customer left Momo just like that. Momo looked like he was about to cry. His eyes were watery. He tried to calm himself down. Maybe I misheard it. He knew though that everything that had just happened was real.

He looked down at the tray he had handed to the customer with change. He saw a small white piece of paper. Momo flipped it over and found something written on it.

Yuki

012-345-xxxx

A number...? From that customer just now...? He said those painful words and still wants me to call him? Tears really rolled down Momo's eyes this time.

Was he toying with me? He couldn't possibly see through my cheerful act. It was perfect!

He couldn't possibly see that I am actually hurting on the inside... right?

~~

3 weeks later,

The silver-haired man named 'Yuki' kept coming back to this candy shop every week just before closing time. He bought a basket full of candy every time.

Every time, he would say something to Momo; something that would shake Momo's heart.

"Can you stop saying those things?"

This time, Momo was the first to open his mouth when Yuki placed the basket on the counter.

"Hmm, so you finally show your true self." Yuki smiled a little when he replied. Momo wasn't smiling widely. He wasn't pressing the cash machine key energetically. He wasn't avoiding Yuki's gaze like before.

Momo stared directly into Yuki's eyes, not smiling. There was no life in those pairs of eyes.

"I don't get it. I don't get why you said all those words to me. They really hurt, you know? And still, you left your number here for me. I don't know what you're trying to do, Yuki-san."

Momo looked like he was about to cry.

Yuki didn't stop smiling. He then said, "Why don't you come to the park in the city nearby after work some time?"

And again, he left Momo in a daze.

~~

Two days later,

Momo locked the shop door. He was wearing a thick coat and a scarf. It was a winter evening, after all. The sun was about to set. He got on the bus to go to the city; to that park Yuki was talking about.

Why am I doing this? I didn't need to listen to him. He's just another stranger, but come to think of it, I haven't been out like this to see the things around me, to look at shops, to... enjoy myself. I haven't done this for a long time.

As soon as Momo reached the park, he heard some sounds coming from the fountain.

Someone's voice.

Why do I feel like that voice is calling out to me?

Momo walked closer to the fountain.

Someone is singing... His voice is beautiful, yet he sounds... sad.

Momo finally got close enough to the fountain to see a familiar man with silver long hair sitting cross-legged on the edge of the fountain. His hair was blown by the wind. He looked even more elegant.

It was a cold evening so there weren't too many people at the park. Yuki stopped when he opened his eyes to see Momo. He smiled. Again, he gave Momo that little smile.

"You came." Yuki stated the obvious.

"Uhh.. yea," answered Momo. He no longer felt the need to fake his personality in front of the cool guy.

"So how does it feel?" Yuki continued.

"Huh?"

"How does it feel to come out and take in the scenery around you? You don't do that very often, right?"

That surprised Momo. How could this man know so much about me? We don't even know each other!

He had already decided he wanted to talk to the man. "It feels good, actually. I, uh, haven't really enjoyed myself like this for a long time."

Why am I being honest with this man? He has this mysterious aura. I can't lie to him anymore.

"Hmm..." Yuki's expression didn't change. "Good. What food do you like?" He asked bluntly. Yuki was never good at making conversations flow.

"H-huh? Uhh, meat, I guess? Like hot pot kinda thing...?" Momo had stopped thinking about food for a long time. He only ate whatever was available to survive. Somehow, eating became one of the chores he had to do every day.

Momo became quite lifeless.

"Then we go hot pot."

Yuki, despite being a vegetarian, stood up, approached Momo and took one of his hands. Yuki gripped it tightly and pulled Momo to a hot pot place nearby.

Even though Momo and Yuki ate silently, Momo felt a warm feeling in his heart. A warm feeling he didn't know he missed. He wasn't lonely. There was someone sitting in front of him.

Someone that saw through his disguise.

Someone that might actually care about him.

~~

A few weeks later,

Momo was tired of it all. He was tired of wearing a "happy" mask. Tired of not being able to enjoy much. Tired of being lonely.

Tired of being tired.

I don't want to be here anymore...

That night in his bedroom, Momo cried. He didn't know what he should do. Then he saw an old piece of paper on his bedside. He picked it up and saw Yuki's number.

He took his phone and dialled the number.

Please pick up. Please.

Please.

"...Hello? Yuki's speaking"

That voice was like the voice of an angel to Momo. Momo cried out loudly. He cried his life out. He screamed whatever he had been feeling for the past few years at Yuki. He let them all out.

"I'm glad you called me, Momo."

~~

Yuki and Momo met up the next day in the park, where they properly met for the first time. They sat quietly on one of the benches in the not-so-crowded area.

"Will you answer my questions now?" Momo broke the silence.

"How did you know I wasn't happy, and why did you even care? I was just another stranger to you."

Yuki looked like he was deep in thought for a while. He looked up at the sky and answered,

"Sa... I wonder."

He closed his eyes,

"I had a friend who was... like you, I guess."

"Had...?" Momo said the word quietly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what Yuki had to say next.

"Yea. My friend. He's... gone."

Momo's choked a little. His eyes went wide, and they were filled with tears. Gone. That word shook him. He felt cold.

That night, if I didn't call Yuki...

Would I be 'gone' too..?

Momo was eternally grateful to the person sitting next to him. His saviour.

~~

Yuki and Momo met up more and more often. Yuki took Momo to a lot of places and made him do activities he had never done before. Yuki was hoping it would help Momo find a purpose in his life and maybe find something he would enjoy. Yuki even encouraged Momo to go see a doctor when he felt out of control.

Ban, I hope you are proud of me.... I swear I will never let this boy go.

Momo was glad Yuki took him here and there. He liked the fact that someone cared about him. Even though they did most of the things together silently, Momo felt a warm feeling in his chest. Whenever he felt pain in his heart, Yuki would always be there for him.

Yuki, it's a miracle you appeared. Thank you for everything you've done. I swear I will never let anyone hurt you.

After trying out several different hobbies, the two found that they enjoyed singing together the most. Their voices, together, formed a beautiful melody.

~~

The two started singing together in the park. Their harmony attracted a lot of people. Soon, they began to work together to come up with lyrics. Yuki was actually very talented at writing lyrics. It could be because he wasn't very good at speaking. He could instead express himself through songwriting. Momo was just glad to be able to help Yuki with it and to be able to sing with Yuki.

The two gained popularity. They were invited by several restaurants and pubs to sing for the guests. A few months later, they were contacted by a small agency.

Momo probably didn't notice himself. His negative aura was replaced by a positive one little by little over time. Yuki was happy to see his dear friend and partner glow brighter every day.

~~

"Hello everyone! We're Re:vale!"

The cheers from the audience filled the large concert hall.

"Ahahahah. Hahahaha. Thank you! Thank you!"

Momo was smiling brightly. He was moving from one side of the stage to another energetically.

This time, Momo was being his true self.

Yuki, if you had never reached out to me, I wouldn't be here right now. Those painful words you said to me, they were painful because I refused to accept reality. Now, I understand you were trying to help me in your own way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I want you to know...

Yuki stood slightly behind Momo. He was wearing his usual little smile and waving at the audience.

Ban, at first, I reached out to him because I missed you. I saw his blank eyes and I just couldn't leave him alone as he reminded me so much about you. But now, I really do care about Momo. Not because I'm sad you left, but because I truly like seeing him happy. And I just want him to know...

that I love you, Yuki.

that I love him.

END