We jammed until after the sun went down, we just couldn't find an end. Geoff sung all the songs so well, that I considered to ask him to join the band completely but I left the urge lying in the back of my mind for the moment being. Eventually we did have to stop though because Scott's mum wanted to go to bed and the music was too loud. So we called it quits for the night and just hung around a bit more, drinking beer and talking.

"Well, Geoff, your voice is so good! Where did you learn to sing like that?"

Geoff smiled at Eddie's words, lowering his head in a kind of shy manner, his action causing him to look all adorable and innocent. He slowly tucked a strand of hair that had fallen forward into his face behind his ear before answering.

"I just sang, I never got taught or something like that. I guess my voice just developed naturally", he finally said and we all looked at him in awe. If there had been no help from the outside to form his voice it meant he was extremely talented. Not that I ever doubted that.

"That's pretty tough. I think I could never reach a singing level that high without needing help from vocal coaches."

Geoff just smiled again at my comment, ducking his head a little in a self-depreciating way. He seemed completely different to me now in comparison to yesterday in the club. So much more insecure about himself and his talent.

"Did you grow up here in Seattle or did you use to live somewhere else as well?", I asked after a while of comfortable silence, seeing him furrowing his brows and a mix of emotions flashing through his pupils. I seemed to have hit a sensitive subject.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer if you don't want to", I quickly added, noticing him flinch as if I had pulled him out of some sort of flashback.

"No no, it's fine. I used to live somewhere else but moved to Seattle at the age of eighteen. So I'm still quite new here", he finally answered with a bitter emotion lacing his words and a forced chuckle in the end.

I just nodded, deciding to leave it like that. Maybe he would open up to me a little more someday and tell me why he had reacted that way. But for now I wasn't going to force him into anything. The others seemed to notice that something was a bit wrong as well, they had fallen silent and tried not to eye Geoff too curiously.

There was silence for a few moments until Eddie cleared his throat and all our heads snapped around to face him. Obviously not wanting all the attention he had gained, he lowered his head in an apologetic gesture and mumbled something to himself while we all slowly lifted our gazes from the poor bassist and concentrated on the abruptly broken off conversation again.

"Ugh, tomorrow's school again", Scott stated dramatically after a while and we all chuckled, causing him to pout and pretend to be deeply offended.

"Just because you're done with school it doesn't mean that you can laugh at me. Chris, why don't ya got my back?", he whined again and I laughed, walking over to sit next to him and pat his shoulder supportingly.

"Of course I got your back, Scotty, I'm on your team on this one", I stated exaggeratedly and Scott pretended to be overly happy, throwing his arms around my neck and placing a smacking kiss on my cheek. His action had the others howling in laughter and we couldn't help but laugh along, a faint blush tinting my cheeks as Geoff's gaze met mine and my whole attention rested on those deep dimples in his cheeks again. He was sexy and adorable at once, a killing combination. But just as the edge of my mouth quirked up again to match his smile, I noticed the stare of my best friend.

Michael was looking back and forth between Geoff and me and pierced me with a questioning gaze. Uh-oh.

I nervously looked down to hide behind a curtain of hair, Geoff looking away as well and getting up off the floor.

"Well, I need to go, my girlfriend waits for me at home. I'll come over again... tomorrow?"

Everyone looked at him since he was the only one standing but no one said something for a while. I felt a pang in my heart again as he mentioned his girlfriend, still hiding behind my hair to not show any reaction. Finally Michael broke the silence.

"Um, okay dude. I guess I should get going as well. Chris, can I crash at yours today? I'm too tired and too drunk to get back home this late", he said and I looked up, still seeing that curious gleam in his eyes. I could tell he wanted to crash at mine's because of another reason but I nodded either way, even though I knew that it would ruin me in the end.

"Sure thing, bro. We can go now because mom wants Mark to be home soon as well."

Mark let out a protesting groan as I mentioned him having to go as well, pouting and putting his puppy eyes firmly on display.

"Please Chris? Can't we just stay a bit longer?"

"Nope, no chance dude, I'm sorry. And you see that we're done for today anyway", I replied and he gave in with a sigh, getting up of the floor as well, putting on his jacket and throwing his schoolbag over one shoulder.

Eddie and Scott got up as well, and I hugged each of them goodbye, finally coming to stand in front of Geoff, who had just watched the conversation without saying something. As I looked up at him, slightly insecure, he just took a step forward with a light smile lingering on those plump, rosy lips, wrapping his strong arms around me and pulling me against his chest for a hug. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed in his cologne, storing it in my memory forever and imprinting the feel of his warm body close to mine into my mind. Geoff pulled away before it got awkward and smiled at me again, and I saw something sad that I couldn't place in those green irises, something dark lingering on his soul. It made me flinch and frown, but as I looked into his eyes again, the connection to his soul was shut tightly once again. I could sense that there was something wrong, that he was hiding something bigger than we all thought. And I had a feeling that it had something to do with his for me still unknown past.

~~~~

"What was up with you today?"

I knew it. I knew that Michael would ask me that question as soon as we would be alone.

"Nothing, just leave it be, please", I tried, but sensed that there was no way out of this conversation. Michael was sitting on my bed with his legs and arms crossed, his head lightly tilted to the side and one eyebrow being shot skyward. He wouldn't let the topic go until he had his answer.

With a sigh I finally sat down next to him, running one hand through my hair and hesitantly matching his gaze. I saw warmth and confusion in his eyes, but also a desperate urge to read my mind. I thought about telling him all about it, thought about opening myself up to him. But I couldn't. What if it would destroy our friendship? What if he would hate me or find me disgusting afterwards?

"I'm not gonna let you out of this til you will tell me. Really Chris, I want to know what you're thinking because I care for you and want you to be happy. And you seemed kinda down at the Dungeon today."

That point got me. The knowledge that someone cared about me and wanted me to be happy let a warm flutter develop in my belly as I looked at Michael again.

"Fine, I'll tell you everything you wanna know. Just promise me that this will stay between us and will not leak out to anyone else in any way."

He grinned, clearly happy with my final compliance, and reached out to squeeze my shoulder reassuringly. Then he looked at me expectantly and I immediately started to get uncomfortable again.

"Um... What do you wanna know?", I finally tried to start the conversation and Michael made a thoughtful face before asking his first question.

"What is happening between you and Geoff?"

Fuck. Did he have to ask that?

"Nothing." My voice sounded bitter and disappointed as that word left my lips and I hated myself for being so unable to disguise my feelings. How could I be any more obvious?

"Would you like something to happen between the two of you?"

I shuffled my feet awkwardly at that question, looking for a way to get out of the embarrassing situation. The situation in which my answer could either be accepted or our friendship could be over. So everything depended on my answer to his question. But I would be truthful, Michael was my best friend after all.

"Yes."

There was silence for a few moments in which I didn't dare to meet Michael's gaze. As I finally raised my head, I was met by first surprise flashing through the dark pupils but then softness and support taking in its place. As the edge of his lips quirked up into a smirk, all my fear of unacceptance was washed away.

"So you're more into dicks than into chicks?", he asked, trying to remain with a straight face but failing miserably. His laughter only intensified as I blessed him with a half-hearted 'fuck off'. But all I felt was overwhelming relief for being accepted.

"When did you notice? And what's so special about Geoff?", Michael asked after his laughter had faded and a soft smile remained on his face.

"It was during my last relationship with a girl. We were at a cinema and there was a really handsome guy in my age in our row next to me. I noticed the way I was drawn to looking at him and thought about actually trying something with another dude. I noticed that I really wanted to try something with another dude and I felt so guilty that I broke up with my girlfriend. Until today, I haven't actually tried anything with a dude but when I saw Geoff, it was like there was something pulling me towards him and I wasn't able to fight against it. I still can't fight against it and I'm scared to ruin everything for the band if he gets to know it in any way and walks away from us. I don't wanna get between him and his girlfriend either, so I have to push my feelings to the back of my mind with all my might."

An unhappy sigh left my lips after I had finished, looking at Michael and seeing his thoughtful face.

"Well, I don't know what to do. We can just wait and see what the time brings", he finally said and my shoulders slumped at his words.

"Okay, that's all I can do to not ruin anything I think", I mumbled and got up, changing into my baggy shirt and the shorts I wore during sleeping time. Michael went to my closet and got himself a shirt to sleep in as well, finally flopping back down onto my bed, dressed in the shirt and boxershorts. My gaze lingered a bit longer on his exposed self as it was usual, but I quickly willed the thought that I could maybe get attracted to him into the back of my mind.

"Come here, we need to get some rest", he said and pulled me out of my thoughts, leaving me stalking over to the bed on tired legs. Michael pulled the sheets back and I climbed in beside him, curling into a ball facing away from him. My thoughts drifted to Geoff again and that I would never be able to wait for something to change without being torn into pieces by longing. I didn't notice that I was crying, but Michael did.

"Hey, come here Chris. It's okay, I'm here for you", he mumbled near my ear and forced me to uncurl and turn around. As I locked my tearfilled eyes on his again, all I could see was the pain I was feeling reflected right back in his dilated pupils mixed with the longing to make the pain go away.

Michael just pulled me into his arms without another word, pulling me close against his chest and giving me something to hold on. I felt his shirt getting wet due to my tears but if he noticed, he didn't care. He just ran his hands through my hair and soothed me to a dreamless sleep, my hands that were clutching his shirt like a lifeline finally relaxing and falling down onto the mattress between us.

~~~~

The next day I woke due to Michael accidentally kicking me as he rolled over. With a small groan I opened my eyes and blinked a few times to adjust my pupils to the light, the first thing my gaze coming to rest on being the tousled dark brown mop of curly hair on the pillow beside me. I just stared at the back of Michael's head in silence for a while, before I broke out into giggles as a mighty snore filled my ears. Man, how had I been able to fall asleep last night?

Deciding that I didn't want to pull him out of his deep slumber, which he had definitely earned after his hard work everyday of the week, I silently slipped out of the bed and got myself a sweater and a pair of blue jeans out of my closet before leaving the room and hopping into the shower stall in the bathroom to wake up properly. As I was lathering myself up and finally let the suds cascade down my body, all I could think about was the way Geoff had smiled at me the night before. And then the gaze which I hadn't been able to identify came back as well. The sadness, the fear in those green irises. Why did he just take off afterwards, as if he was afraid I had read his expression and interpreted it the right way? Closing my eyes and pulling my hair back, I squeezed the water out of it and erased my whirling thoughts with all my might. There was no use in driving myself crazy over something that didn't matter so much right then.

I finally exited the shower again and dried myself off, quickly putting on my clothes and starting to blow-dry my hair. When it was just about to be completely dry, the door behind me opened and in came a very sleepy looking Michael with his hair completely messed up and falling in front of his round, deep brown eyes.

"Morning Mike, slept well?", I asked with a smirk, putting the blow-dryer down and turning around to face him.

"Mornin', yeah, I slept well. The week was just so exhausting, I'm sorry if I snored, I do that when I allow myself to relax after being really smashed by work or stress or anything else that requires strength", he replied and I smiled lightly at his cuteness, handing him my hairbrush to let him tame that rat nest on his head. He smiled thankfully but already exhaustedly in return after having looked at his hair in the mirror.

"I'm gonna make us some breakfast while you can try to tame that beast on your head", I stated with a chuckle, "you want cereals, buns or pancakes?"

His face lit up at the last word that left my lips and I directly knew what he wanted. He was just as much a sucker for sweet things as I was.

"So pancakes it is?"

"Pancakes it is", he replied, starting to untangle his hair carefully with the little pink hairbrush.

Nevermind the color.

I quickly left the bathroom, noticing that there were two used plates in the sink already, so my mom and Mark had already eaten. Rinsing and drying them off afterwards, I stacked them back into the cupboards they belonged in before getting all the ingredients I needed for the paste out of the fridge and the cupboards.

I was just putting the last bit of paste into the frying pan as Michael appeared with his nose in the air like a bloodhound. Upon seeing the already quite high stack of pancakes on a plate next to me on the counter, his eyes started to gleam and he licked his lips.

"You're my savior, Chris, I'm starving!"

I laughed at the dramatic tone in his voice, flipping the last pancake over to finish baking the other side of it, gesturing him to take the finished pancakes to the table already. He did so while nearly salivating, careful to not drop anything before it was safely placed upon the wooden table. He then got two plates and silverware out of the cupboards, setting them down just as I stacked the last pancake on top of the impressive pancake tower I built. Getting the maple syrup from the fridge, I finally sat down opposite of him, seeing how he picked the upper pancake up with his fork, drowning it in maple syrup before taking a healthy bite and letting his face distort itself in pure satisfaction.

"Mmh, your pancakef tafte fooo good!!", he moaned with full mouth, a stray of maple syrup trickling down the edge of his mouth and I could only shake my head, smirking at his poor table manners. I then took a bite of mine, noticing that, indeed, I was getting better at producing the sweet pie.

After only a short while all the pancakes had disappeared and we continued to sit there with full stomachs and a satisfied look upon our faces. Suddenly a melody invaded my mind again, a melody that I had wanted to show Michael because of its potential. I already had a raw sketch of where the lyrics were supposed to go and the melody the vocals should have, but maybe Michael could make some input to those ideas as well.

I decided to clean up the mess I had made in the kitchen first, Michael offering to dry and stack everything while I rinsed. The ingredients were put into their original place afterwards and as soon as we were done, I pulled Michael back to my room and told him that I had a few pieces of possible songs to show him. He excitedly got his guitar out of its case and waited for me to plug mine into the small amplifier and dig the small notepad with all my ideas for lyrics on it out of the drawer below my desk. As I was finally done, I showed him the first riff I had been working on and he smiled, obviously seeing the same potential in it that I saw.

"You got some lyrics for this one?", he asked and I nodded, showing them to him and he nodded absently, making a few notes on the margin of the paper of what he thought was probably a better word choice or word order. We started to discuss and hummed the melody, silently singing the words to see what fit the best, and after an hour we had agreed on something that sounded awesome. The lyrics were about a mighty woman who takes reign over the souls of everyone. We called her the 'Queen Of The Reich' and in my opinion, we couldn't have written a better song.

Queen Of The Reich

In the dead of the night she'll come and take you away

Searing beams of light and thunder

Over blackened plains she will find her way

Flying high through the night she will hide your fate

As she takes your soul from under

And the blinding light of the castle fades

There is no escape, it's the ending of your precious life

Your soul slipped away, it belongs to the Queen of the Reich

The Queen of the Reich, yeah, she's coming for you

You're fading away, your life cast astray

A victim the beast shall obtain

The light will not shine, for you'll die tonight at her shrine

And black is the last thing you'll see

Over and over, dreams of dying fill your head

It's the sign of the cross that you'll find ahead

No one will answer, the light is fading away

Captive souls are screaming out in pain

There is no escape, it's the ending of your precious life

Your soul slipped away, it belongs to the Queen of the Reich

You're fading away, no, no, no

The Queen of the Reich

You're slipping away, yeah

The Queen of the Reich

Afterwards we shared some more ideas with each other and got raw sketches of two other songs, Michael coming up with some cool riffs while I tried to capture the fitting lyrics from the billions that were whirling through my brain. Tiredness and eventual lateness of the day finally caused us to stop working like crazy, noting everything down we've had so far and continuing to play the songs we would play at the festival on Sunday. Sunday? Today was Saturday... Noticing that, I nearly freaked.

"Mike, tomorrow's the gig! Oh my fucking god, what will we do?"

Michael just chuckled and took me into a hug, rubbing my tensed back to loosen the muscles.

"Jesus Christ, everything's fine Chris, don't freak out. We can ask Scott to practice again tonight and go over everything again to calm your freaking head a bit if you want", he stated and I took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on his steady heartbeat before nodding slowly, causing him to let go of me and walk to the phone which I still had in my room from phoning Geoff the other day. I sat down on my bed as I watched Michael dial a number, holding the phone to his ear and running one hand through his unruly curls. After a short silence, he started to speak.

"Hey Scott, it's Michael... I stayed here last night, you shithead..."

He was chuckling while Scott euphorically blabbed about something on the other end of the line.

"Listen, I wanted to ask if we could practice at yours again tonight because Chris here has a fucking anxiety attack that we'll fuck it up tomorrow."

I mouthed a 'fuck you' to him as he looked my way, he only replying with a cheeky grin and a wink before replying to whatever Scott had been saying again.

"Awesome, we'll come over at... what about now?... Great, we'll be there in a bit. See ya!"

I could hear Scott waving bye as well before Michael put down the receiver and disconnected the call.

"We're on. Grab your things and we're ready to go, I quickly call Ed and Geoff in the time. I believe that this is his number?", he asked, holding up the small piece of paper Geoff had given me in the bar the other day. I just nodded and left to the bathroom, styling my hair a bit and applying some eyeliner before leaving to the bedroom again to grab my wallet and keys, then going to the front door to put on jacket and boots.

Just a while late Michael appeared, wearing his jacket already and carrying his guitar case and bag from the university. He set them down again to put on his boots before gesturing me to open the front door, what I did, and he then walked out right behind me.

The walk to Scott's place didn't take long but by the time we arrived, Eddie was already there, having set up his equipment and jamming to Judas Priest's Rock Forever with Scott, which would be one of the songs we would be playing tomorrow.

Michael and I quickly finished setting up our guitars and started to join them in the song, almost directly going into the guitar solo that was in two voices, practicing our harmonization even though we knew that we didn't have to practice that anymore.

Just as we were going into the next verse again, we heard the door open and close, causing us to turn our heads but not to stop playing. It was Geoff, arm wrapped around a smiling woman's waist, nodding along to the sound that was filling his ears. As we were playing the last few beats and finally finished the song, Geoff and that woman clapped in acknowledgment, Geoff laying his jacket over the backrest of the couch like the day before, before starting to talk.

"That was really fuckin' good, dudes. Mind if you do that again and I join in with the singing?"

His deep, rich voice caused me to shake slightly, Michael shooting me an amused glance before nodding at Scott to count in the song again. He did and Geoff soon joined us with his singing, meanwhile twirling the woman around and making her giggle. I wanted to throw up but I didn't, instead I focused on Michael's face, seeing his determination to play the song with soul in his facial contours and thankfully it distracted me a bit from the dancing couple next to me.

As the song was done, Geoff hugged the woman shortly before gesturing her to sit down on the couch, turning to us with an excited gleam in his eyes. Even though I was mad at him for bringing his girl I felt my knees getting weak so I quickly draped one arm across Eddie's shoulders in a brotherly gesture to lean my weight a little on him, not having to fear to fall anymore.

"Hey guys, it's great to see you again!", Geoff said with a smile and took each of us into a short half hug which everyone returned, even me though I didn't really want to. But he looked so good, he smelled so good, his body was so warm, how could I resist to hug him if he offered it to me?

Tingles prickled the skin of my forearm that had made skin to skin contact to the back of his neck as we had hugged, making me rub at it to make the uncomfortably strong feeling disappear. But nothing really helped, it stayed put even though I tried to forget it.

"And by the way, this is Jessica, my girlfriend."

That sentence pulled me back into reality and I focused my gaze on the young woman sitting on the couch. She had long, blonde brown hair and bright blue eyes, her lips were cherry-red and her curvy body was covered by high-waisted, ripped jeans and a white blouse. She smiled at me and reached out for Geoff, who took her hand and pulled her up off the couch to wrap his arm around her waist again. I wanted to punch the stupid smile right off her damn face but my expression seemed to cover that thought up well, because no one gave me a strange look.

I noticed how each of the boys went over to her to greet her, Michael even flirting with her to make her blush, but I didn't move an inch, still letting my gaze drift from her to Geoff and back to her. She had what I wanted and I hated her because of that.

"Um, hey, what's your name?", a warm voice suddenly greeted me and I noticed that Jessica was standing right in front of me and had her hand extended to shake mine. I quickly snapped out of it and took her hand, doing my best to smile at her, which didn't actually was too hard because she seemed to be a quite friendly person. But she had Geoff. She was the reason I couldn't have him and due to that, my mind placed her under the category of enemies.

"I'm Chris, nice to meet you."

She smiled and squeezed my hand a little before letting go, going back to the couch and looking expectantly at the five of us. When no one had a clue what she wanted, she rolled her eyes and gestured towards our instruments, telling us that she wanted to hear and see us playing again. And we did.

~~~~

After a few hours of going through tomorrow's set list again and again we finally called it quits and hung around again, just like the day before. Jessica was quite nice and friendly, she talked a lot and seemed to be an outgoing person. She didn't cling to Geoff all the time, they didn't even kiss once in front of us. And I liked her for that, it made her a lot more friendly in my eyes.

I did, however, notice, that she was eyeing me curiously whenever her boyfriend was speaking, as if to watch my reaction. Her piercing stare bore into me and made me quite uncomfortable but I didn't want to raise my voice because of it. However, she did.

"Chris, may I talk to ya for a sec?"

Her voice pulled me out of the ban Geoff's voice had pulled me into and my head snapped into her direction, seeing her standing by the door and gesturing me to follow her. After hesitating a little and looking at my band mates and Geoff again, I finally did how I was told and followed her out of the garage. We walked in silence for a while before I finally decided to say something.

"Why do you wanna talk to me?"

She sighed, before turning to face me. She looked like she could see everything that was going on inside me, like she knew how I was thinking about her boyfriend.

"Chris c'mon, it's so obvious. You get entranced whenever he speaks and you stared me down as if you wanted to kill me quite a few times, then sometimes you just look like a kicked puppy who's always denied what he wants. Don't play me for a fool and deny it. I know you're into him."

Her words made me go pale in fear, my eyes widening and getting round and shocked. She knew. Oh my god, she knew. What should I do now?

"I..."

But there wasn't anything getting out of my mouth. No words leaving my lips due to shock and surprise. But Jessica didn't seem to mind my confirmation of her obvious statement, she just chuckled and smiled at me. Wait, what? What the heck is going on here?

"Why don't you...", I paused to clear my throat, "Why don't you mind?"

A sad look overshadowed her face as she gestured me to stop walking and grabbed my shoulders with her hands to make sure I was listening and stayed. I was afraid what would come out of her mouth.

"Listen Chris, we're a couple, but not like a real couple. Geoff... he's been through really tough times and I just stayed by his side as his shoulder to cry on, as the one who helped building him up again. He needs someone to love Chris, so badly, that me just being there as a close friend isn't enough anymore. I love him as a friend, but nothing more. That feeling is mutual and it's good that way. But please don't stop trying, I can see the truth of your feelings for him in your eyes. Just... be careful with him, okay?"

I nodded weakly, still not able to progress everything she had said. They were only friends? Geoff's past was fucked up quite heavily? I should try to get close to him? All those questions whirled around in my mind for a while, me trying to take a hold of them, but I couldn't. And for the moment being, that was okay.