𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝑰𝑻 𝑨𝑳𝑳
THE START OF IT ALL
alternatively known as 'lucifer's song'
Levi knew the consequences. He really did. But despite knowing how this was going to end up like, he had hope that it would change, that he could change it. After all, he was the only one who cared enough to do it. Or try to anyways.
_______
I must have been a wing zigzagging up the thermals,
past birch igniting their green candles
and trout sketching their maps in gold tarns
Leviathan Aotrom hated his name. How could someone be named an old testament sea creature, feared by all, a species that made people tremble on sight and had to be slain by God himself, while also being named light, especially in the kingdom of darkness? That's stupid and contradicted what Leviathan, the legend of a creature, stood for. He knew it was stupid to hate something as irrelevant as a name but Leviathan loved the details, he loved meaning behind actions. He was a man of finer things in life, focused on the minute aspects of things instead of the bigger pictures. So, having a name that just didn't make sense, it annoyed him. More than annoy actual, it created distaste in him towards not just his name but anyone who dared call him by that.
Which was why he went by Levi instead, because Levi Aotrom made sense; it had a connection. And that pleased him. It had a flow it to that Leviathan Aotrom lacked, a flow that danced right of your tongue. It just sounded so right compared to Leviathan, a name so foul and mouthful. It never felt right, hearing that name from others because no one could say it right. It always sounded like a lot when others called out for him using his full name. The flow was all wrong, there was no rhythm no movement.
That was until he said his name.
He made it sound like a melody played by Apollo himself, a tune sung by Orpheus. So animated and characteristic, like he wasn't saying a name but rather a prophecy of the Gods. But that's all it was wasn't it, a name? Then how could he manage to make it sound like a song? Who was he to say his name as if it were a scribe?
Lucifer Moriarta, that's who he was. The crown prince of Fearann Bais, the ace of the Moriarta line, heir to the throne. He was known as the future ruler of the demons that were Fearann Bais, the next Raphael the first.
He was less commonly known as the breaker of Levi Aotrom.
_______
Fearann Bais wasn't known for its sights or beauty but Levi would argue that it should have been. At least from where he sat, the cliff near the broken rubbles of the only temple in the kingdom, he would say that Fearann Bais in its own wake had a certain beauty you couldn't die. Or could, he didn't know, after all beauty was in the eye of the holder.
But that wasn't the only beauty he referred to. Lucifer Moriarta, in all his glory, was also present at the sight although he didn't seem interested in Levi or had even noticed him, and if he had he didn't show it. He was rummaging through the remnants of the forgotten temple as if searching for something, though Levi wasn't sure if he actually knew what he was searching for. His arms moved aimlessly but his eyes shone brightly under the heeding sun that glared down, casting an ugly light on the cliff yet somehow Lucifer managed to glow underneath it as if Heaven itself was casting life on him, or casting him down from there which admittedly suited his name better.
Beauty didn't begin to describe the way Levi thought of him at the moment. Eyes glaring down yet shown enough to be seen from yards away, moonlight-glinted arms that pushed back raven-dark locks away from his face and a cracked smile on his face as he found what he was looking for, ethereal would have suited more but he knew this was just the beginning of the new moon. Puberty was yet to take a scratch at him yet you knew by just looking at him that he was going to one hell of a man when he grew up. Levi could only imagine and hope he would be able to see him at such an age.
He was just thirteen when he met Lucifer, on a rather hot summer afternoon where he spent his time contemplating the murder of his sister who refused to share her oranges with him. It was a petty reason but Levi was merely a teenager, a pubescent with anger brimming all surfaces. Every action made him shudder in disgust, every movement made him judge those around him. But not him, never him. His limbs moving with grace, a rhythm to every step he took. A sharpness to it too, he noted, as if he calculated every action he made. It was like a blade swung by a swordsman, sharp and cutting yet so attentive and effortless as if he knew the things he did but he couldn't care about them.
But what else was to be expected from the royals? It would have surprised him if Lucifer wasn't like that, yet seeing someone his age with such youthful energy look so much more superior regardless of their status left him paralyzed as he continued watching him and his motions. At least he was until the said boy caught his gaze, not letting it go yet also not acknowledging it. As if he was looked past him but into his soul at the same time. It made the breath hitch as he forgot how respiration worked for a second. 'In and out Levi,' he told himself as he willed himself to look away. Yet he couldn't, he physically couldn't bring himself to.
And just like that the gaze between the two remained as moments passed by. How long? Levi can't be bothered to measure but if you kept pestering him enough, he would lightly admit that it felt no more than a second and a century at the same time. But before he could think any deeper, or let the breath return to his lungs, the gaze left his and the prince went on his way, stepping away from the rubbles and walking away as if Levi had never even existed.
He didn't turn back to look his way or the temple's either. Levi knew because he watched the prince retreat until his silhouette couldn't be highlighted by the depleting rays of the sun.
_______
All I cared for was the rush of wind, high
amorphous clouds flapping sails over peaks,
long arcs of color hanging in the waterfall's mist.
Levi hated his name for another reason; his last name was one of great value in the kingdom due to the slight vampiric gene that seemed to bleed into each generation. Well almost each, because it seemed as if it had conveniently decided to skip Levi. Now well known for not sharing the same altercation as his family, he was often teased for not actually be one of them. But that was all it was, teasing. At least that's what he let himself think was all.
The second time he was graced with the prince's presence, he was left stumped by the words that he had said. Yet it also filled him with some pride that the prince had chosen him of all people to converse him, although it wasn't much of a conversation as much as it was the prince talking and leaving Levi speechless. But looking back at that bittersweet memory, a moment Levi used to love to think back to, he could now see why he was the one the prince chose to conform to. If only he could stop what misfortunes that occurred from that moment onward, if only he could
But even he knew deep down that if did indeed have the power to stop all that he could, he wouldn't. Because they were the imprints of Lucifer's first intentions, his Lucifer's first attention towards him that brough the uplift and fall that would soon rain down on him. This, was the start of it all.
_______
While some places found rainy days a delicacy for their nations, such as Nephelheim as he had recently learned about, it was one of the more popular aspects to look forward to in Fearann Bais. Even the pitter-patter of the fall had a pattern to it as it fell, slight thundering coming in at fleeting moments as he counted down the seconds before the flash of light appeared again. It was not a thunderstorm; he had been in enough to know if one was not and he knew this wasn't one.
Yet the people still cowered inside their houses, or maybe cower wasn't the right word. It wasn't fear they felt but rather distaste for the water that poured down on them and scarred their flesh. But Levi didn't get that. Which is why you would find the boy back on the cliff, grass stuck to his legs with mud as he crossed them in front of him and leaned on the back of his hands, eyes scurrying over dull kingdom illuminated simply by the lightning strikes that occurred every 8 seconds from what he had counted by now.
Of course, has was in the danger of getting struck, but maybe that was why he was there in the first place. Or maybe he simply couldn't care less; he hadn't decided which one it was yet.
But he didn't get the time to think about as he felt movement right beside him, coming face to face with the side profile of none other than Lucifer Moriarta himself who had plucked himself on the wet scattered grass beside Levi in a rather casual manner. Arms resting on top of his knees that laid in front of him, he made a posture as simple as that look like something of worthiness. Or maybe it was the way he glanced down at kingdom in front of him, dark eyes brimming with the same chaos as the thunderstorms that Levi looked forward to.
'Enchanting,' he would have thought had he not gone stiff and lost all ability of function. Not even finding the strength to turn his head back towards the view, he let his eyes close in hopes of it being no more than just a dream. Or rather a nightmare, it suited the occasion more. Yet the moment he felt the cold, soft fingers tilting his chin towards to kingdom, he knew it wasn't one. But it could have easily felt as one, especially the warmth he suddenly felt when the finger left its place, which he found almost laughable since the hands itself felt colder than death probably did.
"You're going to miss it." Soft and low, the voice came from the boy next to him but it suited not an awestruck child but rather a smug young man, the tone so commanding that Levi couldn't help but open his eyes, even when he didn't know what he was going to miss.
But the question was answered moments later when the town square, the very base of the kingdom was struck by the brightest light yet, a sharp cracking sound following as the flag that stood tall was hit by a lightning and burned, its ashes singing into the air as the fire seemed to pass through every droplet that fell. From a distance it was no more than a spark to him but he knew that as the cloud would start scattering away, and the people would come out, the flag would no more be there, just the skeleton of what used to be. His eyes stayed on the burning frame before he realized that the young prince was still next to him, before his memories reverted back to what had happened not moments ago. He didn't dare touch the spot the prince had laid his hands on in worry that this was no more than a fantasy he made up, desire to not wake up startling him before he could even comprehend it.
Lucifer didn't stir, statue-still as his irises shown with the same intensity of the fire that burned, yet not a second later they seemed dowsed by the water the fell around them. Levi brought himself back to the reality he sat in right now as he felt the rain get heavier and heavier, the low thumping of the grass now a more vicious snap. He could feel it stinging his skin, his arms, his legs, his face; yet he wasn't aware of it at the same time as he brought his focus to still at the standalone point, his memory trying to etch the scene entirely into his brain so he would never forget it. He didn't want to forget this.
"Leviathan Aotrom, is it not? Peculiar, peculiar name. But beautiful nonetheless."
Levi almost flinched at the sound of his full name, but he couldn't get himself to. It was said so meticulously, like the name was a work of art. He almost accepted it as his name for a second, if it were only Lucifer who would keep calling him that, with the same precision and softness that he did before, as if he were carrying a tune and not his name. Almost.
"You're from the Aotrom family, aren't you? The one with vampire genes?"
It was not a question, at least his tone didn't make it seem so. But his phrasing had other ideas, so to not betray himself with a stutter that he knew was building up, he simply nodded, the dirty strands of his hair now sticking to his forehead. He wanted to continue on to say that even though that was his name, he wasn't one of them. He didn't have the same genes that they shared, at least not mostly. His didn't have what made them special, what made them respected and different from the rest.
"But I heard you don't have it."
So, he did know that Levi was the poor sap strung along by fate for only the misery and doom of life. Or maybe he exaggerated since the genes itself were only a slight altercation but nevertheless it made him different. But of course, the prince knew that. He was the prince after all, if he didn't know about his future subject, he did? But that's not what really caught Levi's attention. What finally made his muscles move, from the eyes set to look at the kingdom below to the boy next to him, or rather his side profile, was the tone in which he had said it in. It wasn't condescending, like the tone of many who talked to him about this topic, or even pity. It was... something else.
"Good. You finally moved. At least now I know you're not dead."
Did the boy really not get the effect he had on people? It was more surprising that Levi wasn't dead yet, the intimidation and superiority that the boy radiating becoming stronger as the wind picked up along the rainfall. Now it almost scorched his skin the longer he stayed there yet he still remained unaware of it as he fought himself to not remove his eyes from the sight in front of him, the layers of Lucifer's hair coming undone as the wind finally started effecting his stature. 'At least now I know he's not perfect. Doesn't make him any less intimidating but it's a relief',' he told himself but he wasn't sure if he was noticing or assuring himself.
"But they didn't tell me you were mute."
Oh? So, did that mean that the Lucifer Moriarta was asking people about him? But why? Why him? He was just a nobody, sure from a well-known family, but Levi was never the first person to come to your mind when you thought of the Aotrom family. He was not the last either, he was rather the begrudging after-thought you have when you feel bad about leaving someone out. Which brought him back to this moment, opening and closing his mouth like a gaping fish as he tried to form words but failed to, instead just shutting it close and putting his head down in shame.
From his peripheral he could see the prince not even turn his way but rather let his legs open up in front of him, letting his bare feet get weed and mud stuck to it without a care in the world. He seemed more relaxed now, not on guard like he usually did with his calculating eyes. His movements seemed more slower, freer. As if he didn't see Levi as a person to take as a threat so much so that he didn't find the need to cautious around him. He didn't know whether he should be insulted or still high from the reminder that the prince had asked around about him.
"Pity. I really wanted someone to ask how I knew that the flag was going to be struck."
The prince had his head sprawled on his shoulder now, tilted to a more slacken position as his fingers danced on the wet terrain of the cliff, droplets of water accessorizing his pale hands. So, he had said it on purpose? Well wasn't he so blunt with what he wanted. Pity Levi didn't know how to function because that was one of the many thoughts he had wanted to voice, 1 amongst the many 'he's ethereal' thoughts that swirled on in his head which is heavily suppressed.
The prince didn't bother continuing and Levi could only hope he wasn't mad at the poor soul. He didn't speak any more but he didn't make any indication to move either, at least not until the rain had started to die down and the dull atmosphere was replaced by a brighter yet still dull surroundings, now basking in the rays of the sun. He didn't know how long they had been here or when he had returned home, all he could think of was how the prince had touched his shoulder when he was getting up, shrugging his shoulder and running his fingers through his wet hair. Levi had simply watched it take place, not bothering to move from his place. And he was in that position for quite some time, not just because of the entire event that had taken place but also because of the prince's parting words. It almost sounded like he cared. Or maybe it was just Levi hoping he did.
"I would recommend returning to your home soon. Or you'd catch a cold."
_______
I floated up, not knowing how to shift
in currents or hover in shadows chilled
by clouds or skid to a halt on the summit's ice.
Levi Aotrom didn't hate his family. At least that's what he told himself as he plastered on a smile around the people, he was supposed to call his loved ones, fakeness so immeasurable yet so believable that it went unnoticed by all. But Levi didn't know if he wanted people to know that it was a fake or not. He couldn't decide between wanting to shout into a void that he craved an attention deeper than the one he got now, sole heir to the Aotrom name yet treated like the dust behind shelves; unseen to the eye. He didn't know if he wanted to be left as such, unbothered and unentertained, away from the eyes that only begged for pain.
Masochists they all were, but Levi was no different. He hurt himself, cried and pained as he bottled up emotions he didn't understand, he let it eat it out from inside like a parasite when all he needed to do was speak up.
But that was easier said than done, wasn't it?
Taking up space as no more than just a mere insect, he hid himself from the world and blended into the shadows that no one looked at. At least not anymore, not since their Gods changed from the skies to the royalties. He rolled himself into a ball, a stray cat hiding from the beasts that wanted to claw at its skin, the demons that taunted the broken angel with no wings.
He ran at the sight of light flitting in, scorned at the sight of anyone who dared to break in. That was until the lights turned golden, masking the danger that waited for him. Curious and confused, he cracked and that may have been the biggest mistake he ever made.
A pity that he didn't realize that then. A pity that he no more than just a fool falling in love with the rays instead of running from it like he usually did, like he should have.
_______
You'd be surprised to know that the cliff was not the only place you could find Levi Aotrom. Well, at least not during the working hours of daytime when he was forced out to 'learn and adapt'. Yeah, as if something different was going to happen during the day time. Everyone knew the night time is when the ravens rose, then why even have day time? Let time skip ahead, forget the blinding sun that hadn't shone properly in Fearann Bais in a long, long time. Let the darkness that has been waiting prevail, let it take over. Then maybe he'd finally enjoy the prospect of going out.
Till then he'll enjoy basking in the little spotlight that fell from the broken roof in the little corner of library, filled with history that every citizen had memorized and inked into their life. So now trudged into a little corner spammed with books of lives that no one cared for anymore, not unless it was about the royals, he let his fingers play with the dust that danced in the little spot, eyes raging with the same intensity.
It didn't matter to Levi that he did this every day because every time was a new dance, every wind blowing was a new wind that struck him as fascination, letting himself get lost in that particular sensation and losing all sense of time. Why? After all, it was just dust, that was everywhere. And the little light only came because of the little broken spot on the window from an incident by a little kid he assumed. There was nothing special about it whatsoever. But there was nothing special about Levi now too, was there? So maybe that was why Levi enjoyed the insignificant things, the unpaid intentions left behind that no one marvels at. Maybe, just maybe, Levi wanted to be surrounded by his likes, things that understood how it felt to be left behind and not be looked at.
But then again, Levi was a hypocrite. He only had rights to frown at that if he had ever tried to get attention towards him but he had stopped before he had even tried, a futile thought in his mind about how it was not worth it because he wasn't worth it. And he fully believed it, he fully accepted that. He accepted it to such an extent that it didn't matter to him anymore, so come forth and poke at it, ridicule it. Levi would simply nod along to it, maybe add his own snide comments. Who was he to disagree with the truth?
Who knows, maybe it was perhaps this kind of attitude that left him to rot like a carcass left behind. But habits rarely break so easy and it was now his nature to be so, not just a habit anymore. Plus, it wasn't like there was anyone who actually ever argued back, was there?
Eyes losing focus, he hadn't even realized that the little spotlight of sun rays that fell had vanished, a shadow now replacing. A familiar frame but he was far too unfocused to even see it, not until he felt something brush past his shoulder, an arm extending to point at a word in the book he had been pretending to read so he wasn't kicked out of the library. His eyes trailed towards the word, bright green pupils dilating at the sight of the word 'temper' before letting it travel up the arm and towards his owner.
But of course, it was him – Lucifer Moriarta, in flesh as he continued pointing at the word, as if waiting for Levi to say it.
He didn't of course, say the word I mean. He stayed still, still focusing on the fact that his arm was brushing his shoulder and still hadn't parted it, instead now feeling as if it was being pressed against it harder like a nudge. He didn't dare let his eyes meet the prince's, afraid of the disappointment they held due to his refusal to say the word. The only movement that left him was the slow and deep breathing that fell on the prince's covered arm, a deep royal navy falling under his eyes.
"Temper." This time the voice wasn't soft and low like it was before, it sounded more baritone this time, almost sultry but not exactly. Velvety and making him feel knotty, Levi felt the word buzz in his ears and almost let his eyes close, but he didn't get the chance because the prince had already started speaking again. Oh, he was reading the passage. What book was this again?
'Sebastian was unlike his predecessors.
He didn't dare drink the blood of the Gods his
people served, instead he gave it to the people.
He watched his people turn scornful, brave and
dangerous, blind and faithful. It was a combination
concocted for power, a sinful mix of man and monster
that was going to change the people of the nation as
everyone knew it.
The reign was a storm made of fire and blood,
a current of thunder and lightning that cracked the
very throne he sat upon with menace baring its ugly face
yet there was no one who challenged him ad succeeded,
no one that could truly break his terror that spread not
simply in his nation but towards the very core of the world.
Who was the world to stand in the way of the
temper of God? He who didn't need an iron fist to
take control, he who broke the challenged and lies
that faced him with a smile that rivaled the angels who
look down upon us and threaten our reign. It was nothing
more than a distraught when he was finally struck and gotten
what he had only wished and hoped for, a kismet that finally
brought him to his knees and let his blood be split. But it was
of no news because he had already left his mark, a gash deeper
than the one he wore like a medal.
He built Fearann Bais in ways that Raphael the first couldn't.'
'An Reulbaltach' they called him, Sebastian the Rebel who challenged and changed Fearann Bais in ways that rulers after him only wished to do. He was fear itself, a warrior who didn't care for the honors or rules of the war. He didn't fight, he ruined things. He was the personification of destruction in the worse way possible, even Ares would have trembled in his sight. So, it was not a surprise when only the people of Fearann Bais knew how to deal with him, how to parallel themselves with Sebastian alone, he was his own army but even he knew how to commend to a strong force when he saw one.
Levi knew the answer yet he still wondered why Lucifer pointed at that passage, the starting of a much more gore filled tale that he knew the prince, much like everyone else, had embedded it in his skin. He knew the words that followed so well that he didn't even need to hear it, he had read this enough time to now make it his lullaby, to go to sleep with.
In fact, that is exactly was happening, Levi realized as he felt his surroundings become numb second by second, the painful searing of the prince's clothed arm scraping by his now nothing more than just a dream, a nightmare, that he was even there. Yeah, that was it. It was just his imagination losing itself and he wasn't going to bother asking himself why his imagination consisted of the prince, he ignored the pit in his stomach that questioned what his subconscious could be telling him about this feeling.
But then why did it feel so real, the smooth and confident tone that continued reading as if so ignorant of the inner conflict Levi was going through, as if so uncaring of the effect that voice had to those around its owner. It just went on and on, a soothing tone singing him the tales of fallen soldiers and tired champions who just wanted a win, but the tyrant with the power of sky didn't let them, not even if his life dependent on him. The voice continued, passion baring its soul as if the voice wanted to be a part of the story, so desperately make something of its own as An Reulbaltach had.
Or that's what Levi would have thought if he had not drifted off, a slight nodding off as his neck twitched in its uncomfortable position making the prince finally take a pause in what he said. Not an expression betraying how he felt or though, he simple removed his hand, letting the head loll on the tips of the chair, pushing back and walking out, not glancing back even once, as if he had been with no one, not a soul or ghost.
When Levi woke up, the library had been closed off and he had been sealed in. He spent the night rutting in the cold and haunted establishment, listening to the fireworks that overpowered his cries for help.
_______
When wax dripped from my wings what could I do
but aim for the pond's lens among granite,
the beaver hut white as a tomb of snow?
Levi Aotrom hated the concept of 'friends.' It made no sense to him, to have companionship in a world so riddled with betrayal and backstabbing. It was as if history had taught people nothing. It was better to have allies, he'd often say, at least you'd expect them to turn their backs on you.
Because in an alliance you know why they have made one with you, the role you play and the benefits you give and receive. But friendship? That was a stab in the back no one would expect, too much trust thrust upon a person and then you're surprised when they leave you? Its your own fault whatever happened to you. Maybe if you had been more cautious and been wary like you should always have then this wouldn't be happening to you.
But Levi couldn't really comment. He had neither friends, allies nor enemies. The boy was a blank sheet of paper, yet to be written on, used or looked at. He was that one page you always skipped because you weren't paying attention, someone stuck on humanity like a parasite to be nothing. At least that's how he'd compare himself if he were asked, he'd say how in a notebook he was the overlooked, useless page which if you even tried tearing would only ruin the entire formation and the lining of the book. He perceived himself as nothing but a background character even in his own life.
But Levi forgets the pleasure one feels when that notebook is empty and there is nothing else to write on, a panic settling in because if you miss this, then you miss everything. And then you find that blessed page as if heaven had looked down and pitied you and it feels you with such gratitude for that paper to exist, this urge to hug it if it were human.
However, this tale did not go that way. Instead this notebook was thrown the moment it as emptied, ignored and unnoticed. Without a second glance or a flashback of memory, it was chucked down a shoot of garbage, where it belonged with the rest of the unattained and unvalued.
_______
He was younger than Levi, exactly a year younger than him. Him being Lucifer Moriarta of course, who was recently found to have turned twelve. At the news, he had doubted the person who told him. Doubted everything he knew, twelve years old, how is that possible? The boy held himself with such grace and vigor, he looked nothing short of at least the average fifteen-year-old. Twelve was almost delusional to be thought of.
But there had been a great celebration, why won't there be? The heir was turning another year younger, closer to his reign and the nation was already buzzing in excitement. But of course, they were, the prince was a well-known character and not just because he was the royal. He was the ace of the royal line for a reason, a figure to idol even at such a young age. Politically reformed and the master of blades, he was like an animal when to came to others. Merciless and sharp, he never let his opponent get away scot free and had grown a reputation of fear before he even hit his tweens. No one could say they were surprise though, you had to see who he came from. King Azazel was a figure of terror, his intimidating gaze shook all those it laid on and even though he didn't act like he was much of someone to be wary off, you knew you had to be. He was the king of Fearann Bais, the entire line spewed of deceiving and conniving royalties that the citizens unquestionably looked up to.
When speaking of the royal family, one couldn't forget the queen though. Queen Parisa was beauty itself, grace and poise in all she did as if she were a peacock, smug written in her movement because she knew her worth, she always had. Coming from a family of entertainers, Parisa's destiny was naught but to be one as well. Voice of thankfully not a peacock, she bared her soul out to anyone who heard her and it wasn't before her name fell from everyone's lip, about her looks, her voice, her gift.
They say this is how the King also fell in love with her, a new heir on his way for an escape from the royalties of life. Watching her singing, he fell in love with her before he even saw her and at that moment he fell from his grace. He pursued her after that, continuously and she kept turning him down, not even batting an eye towards him, despite the protests of her family who were only lucky that they were under the spotlight from The Family themselves.
So, how he got to marry her even after all the turn downs? Well that's a whole other story with multiple variations. Some say it happened when he saved her from another pursuer who happened to have grown an infatuation so deep that it was now an obsession. Others say that it happened when she finally saw the king and looked into his eyes. But only few know how it really happened; with one on the open end of a gun's barrel, cold eyes staring down at the other which were surprised to meet eyes filled with excitement and almost want, desire to be shot. At that point both knew they were meant for each other, that nothing and no one else was ever going to be worthy of them.
They were right.
It was only after that the marriage took place that the new face, maybe the real face, of queen Parisa finally bore into vision. Gone was the peacock with her dainty touches and careless moves, in was the fox with calculation and care into every step taken. It was almost a surprise how sudden the change came, but it was gone as quick as it had come. She was the wife of Azazel, the queen of Fearann Bais and if she were anything but that, now that would have been new in the history.
But now was not the time to recount the lives of the royal family. Now was actually the time to zone back to the tragedy of the memory, the sheep that was being hunted by a predator, who himself was unaware that he was one. Or was rather becoming one. Fate was yet to strike but everything was in motion, Levi could feel it. If only he knew what exactly it was that was going to happen.
The day started different; he was washed by his maids not by himself, forced into clothes that were saved for perhaps what his parents thought would be his coronation, styled into what was fit to blend in with royals. What was the occasion? He failed to remember, failed to trace back. And he didn't remember it till he was at the footsteps of the palace, exactly 4 steps away from the door. It was his birthday, he was turning.... What was he turning? Levi couldn't place it; he didn't have specifications. But that wasn't his concern either. His concern was the fact that they were there, at the palace. They were there amongst the royal families, amongst the prince. Why? Why?
But of course, they were there. His grandfather was an advisor to The Family, of course he would be invited and of course, he would bring along his family. This is why the Aotrom name was so well known, why he was pampered yet treated like nothing at once. This is why they were here.
Gathering now in what seemed to be a rather lavish, of course it was lavish, common room, his eyes couldn't focus on one single thing. They roamed around too much, panic settling into the pit of his stomach like a boiling hole of lava slowly seething its way around his body and burning him inside out. He was one of the few kids there, around three-four more boys and girls his age who seemed to be fascinated and in awe of the room they were in. Levi would be too if he wasn't feeling so sick, like he wanted to throw up right there on the spot. Instead Levi tried turning his focus into placing names onto the other's faces. He recognized them – the Sealgair's, the Gorm's and the Bodhaig's. They were one of his grandfather's colleagues, also known as the Counsel by the citizens. They made up the advisory system of the royal family and were feverishly known to be one of the wisest people there.
But before Levi could recount what he had memorized and embedded into his system, the big doors that one could only wonder lead to somewhere even more lavish opened and in came the King and Queen in all their glory, a smile spreading along the man's features yet the queen maintained a neutral expression, as if there were better things she could do at the moment than this. But Levi couldn't assume, didn't want to assume.
Instead he trudged along the sea, blending in as much as he could as he walked behind and tried to distract himself by letting the gold and darkness take him away. He could feel the other kids do the same and wondered if it was all for the same reason or did, they all anonymously decide it was safer for the kids to stay together, rather than wandering around. Who knew who they'd meet, what they'd encounter?
Levi didn't snap back to reality until he was seated at what seemed like a dinner table, a rather long table with the most exquisite food he had ever eaten. From juicy, tender chicken to soft clam. There was a large variety, as if money was of no issue and it probably wasn't. Of course, it wasn't, this is the royal family. But he still couldn't help but wonder where exactly this money came from. Not only this, the entire nation really. Fearann Bais wasn't known for its agriculture, or even its breeding. Then how come there never seemed be a money issue? Well at least none known to the public. But that's a dangerous though to even flash towards, especially surrounded and seated amongst the royals.
His eyes flitted towards where the prince sat for a brief second, finding him between his siblings – oh right the royal trio, the icons of danger amongst the young. Seraphina, the only princess who was barely seven, who had built up a reputation of knowing each and every detail or information to be passed around the town, her eyes and ears roaming further than the eyes could see. Raphael, the crown prince's younger brother who was already at par with the general of the army, control over weapons so high that many from out of the kingdom to challenge him, only to fail and bow down before him. He himself was barely ten yet harbored skills so great and deep.
Then there was of course Lucifer, he needed no introduction. And not just because of how well known he is, we already went over that. But rather because Levi admittedly thought of him far too much to have to give his audience – a crowd of other Levis who judged his every move – a introduction to the boy himself.
Levi didn't realize he had been staring for a long time until he had been nudged by his mother to pass her something, his hands shaking as he grabbed whatever it was that she wanted, not noticing the pair of hawk-like eyes that followed his move before turning back to the person next to them, speaking animatedly as if nothing had happened.
The dinner went by rather quickly, entertainment ensuing during and after it but Levi was too busy not trying to think of a certain someone to actually focus on what was happening, but he was sure that it was certainly amazing. Well, at least he clapped like it was. Next thing he knew he was being ushered out, something about 'adult time' – whatever that meant – and said to go to the gardens, outside; wherever as long as it wasn't near them. Levi figured it was kingdom related or a game of ass-kissing played to see who gets to be the royals' favorite today. Like puppets they acted but they were human after all. Well mostly anyways.
He let himself float away with the group, not a thought to what they said as he watched the three siblings ahead lead the way. The others seemed to ramble, no doubt a nervous tic because of the intimidation the three siblings so easily radiated. He himself would have but Levi had gained the powers of self-control after having close encounters about 3 times now. He chose to let himself shrink away, appear smaller than he actually was.
Soon the group had reached a door, a glass door with vines creeping up it indicating it led to the small garden inside the palace. Pushing the doors open, his eyes widened at the sights of the beauties he saw, bushes of flowers growing out of nowhere and growing into everywhere. If he looked up, he would see a tall chamber where the vines seemed to grow into nothing yet it didn't have an end. He wondered what the end of it looked like, how one could even reach such a place. Eyes squinting, he almost stood on his tippy toes, as if that was going to be of help.
"Did that help?"
Levi almost fell, though it was not much of a fall, his hand flailing like a child as he dropped to his knees and his hands. Eyes wide in shock, he whipped his head back to see who did that only to meet his eyes glinted with amusements and a smile on his face, a side of dimples almost on show. He seemed to be enjoying Levi's tragedy, not moving to help the boy. And the boy barely scrambled up, face heating up from the humiliating moment.
"So? Did it help, standing like that?"
The prince's presence almost rendered him paralyzed again but Levi had unfortunately become a little used to it enough to get his movements back, though his voice seemed to be lost in some void that he couldn't reach. So, he simply shook his head, strands of hair coming undone from how his mother and styled, falling right into his eyes, dull and unforgivingly blank, hiding to meet bright and curious ones.
"You know I can see the end of it."
He almost sounded proud as he said that, he being the prince of course. His tone suggested that he was showing off he could, almost as if he were trying to impress Levi which was impossible considering that his mere presence already left him speechless. How much more impressed did Levi need to be of the boy, huh? He was already pissed at himself for always having such high thoughts of someone who he wasn't even sure if lived up to everything his name stood for. But perhaps it was in the way he held himself that Levi knew he did.
"There's a chandelier there. Grandfather says grandmother did that because she wanted a little extra. No one has been able to take it down since, he says but I think it's more that he doesn't want anyone to take it down."
His mind paralleled the static of a television if television existed in this era, eyes staring blankly into the tile of the garden, or whatever it is the royal had referred to this room as. Grandfather? The Royals didn't have any other relative except for the infamous General who was no doubt at a party of his own, uncaring of the duties as a royal. Who else was there that had the title as– oh but of course, the Myster.
Levi almost cursed himself for letting the sleek man slip past his mind, the particularly fabled Vampire King who now spent his notorious days doing who knows what, out of the prying eyes of not just the citizens of Fearann Bais but of the whole world. There was almost nobody who hadn't heard of the legendary supernatural who still lived, tales as old as the dragons of Atraxia.
But the train of thoughts that only led to tell you more about the mysterious man stopped as he heard the boy in front of him make a 'tsk' sound, almost as if he was irritated. Irritated? But for that? Levi hadn't done anything yet, not a word spoken, not an inch moved. Or perhaps was that why he had seemed irked, just a subtle bit ticked off. Well, could you really blame Levi for that?
"Allow me to show you something."
It might have come off as a request, the politeness of a prince lacing his words, but his actions didn't make it seem such as he already started walking away, leaving Levi where he stood to make a split-second decision on whether he wanted to follow or not.
Of course, he followed.
He almost lost sight of the prince, regardless of the area being rather small compared to all the other rooms he had barely registered in the little tour they'd had before the feast. But he managed to catch him, or rather the sound of his light, feline footsteps that he barely managed to hear over the small chatter. He somehow managed to catch up, almost tripping over his own shoes that he realized had now became untied. He didn't have time to tie them now though, the prince was crouching and crawling. Wait– crouching and crawling? Where was he leading the boy?
He didn't have time to question that either as he found himself doing the same, a little surprised at how clean the floor was with not a spec of dirt or rock, even though they were still in the garden that he had realized was not as small as it had looked. Crawling forward, he hit his head on the back of the prince's leg, close to uttering out an apology but he didn't, catching himself before he could. He simply hoisted himself up, looking at the prince to only find him looking forward, not even sparing a glance at his direction.
Where were they? Where they still in the garden? – these should have been the Aotrom boy's thoughts but instead he found himself whisked away by beauty that stood before him. Painted with red roses that were actually growing out of the floor, and curling onto the door, he didn't even know he had reached forward to touch the rose until it seemed to move further away from him, the boy stepping forward to reach for it, but paused by the sight that followed the roses, eyes widening in shock, fascination and another emotion he couldn't place. All he could think of was how they could not possibly be still in the palace, let alone the garden. Where were they?
A pirate's life depends on the ship that he sails on, its conquest being the most treasured item of a pirate, someone who is never satisfied. If he were to lose a battle, he would lose not just his treasure, something that can be stolen back, but also his ship. And losing a ship means a life gone, taken away and thrusted into the hands of another. Sometimes in desperation, when pirates refuse to let their life be gone to some scum like them or the authority, they sink their ship with them in them, a final goodbye to the world, a final victory that goes to them, at least to them. Now the ship lies at the bottom of the ocean, the treasures floating to become fish food, the rooms soaked to lose its shine, its pride. The bodies lay, rotting and attracting the beasts that roam, to let those who don't fear the dead eat them and take away their misery. Sometimes, ships like these are found. They are brought up, drained of the hollowness they lived in.
That this what this room looked like, a hollow, almost empty room as if brought straight out of the depths of the darkest, most dangerous ocean. Drained yet full of life, he could almost see the lives of the pirates that must have once been in this room. That is, if it were a room taken away from a sunken ship. But Levi was too busy gaping like a fish out of water at the sight, unbothered to question what room was this, why it existed here and where exactly here was. No, he was so distracted that he almost said something.
Almost.
In the midst of it all, the boy was close to forgetting who he shared the particular space with, who he was trapped with. It was only when he let his eyes run over the room, fascination tinting his eyes, did he finally see the prince. He stood in front of a mirror, a mirror from the stories that Levi had been told as a much young child. But he didn't know that at the moment, simply confused as to why the young prince chose to stand in front of a mirror, when the room was far filled with more interesting treasures, from the logged up table where papers remained scattered to the head of a tiger that hung on a post, the mirror was the least riveting thing in that room yet he only seemed focused on it.
"Sgàthan Bòidhchead."
Mirror of Beauty. Ah, so this why he was so enamored by the plan looking glass instead of anything else. It was the mirror from the tales Levi was taught at school, the mirror that showed the real beauty of a person, whether it be on the outside or inside. Of course, it was taught as nothing more than a tale, a fable for the kids to ask and think about what they considered beautiful.
"You should have been taught about it at school."
A nod came from Levi's direction and even though the heir couldn't see it, he knew a response of some sort had come from his direction. Levi likes to assume he did.
"I have come to look into this mirror ever since it first came to the palace. I was seven at the moment. It has been 5 years since then and... the mirror shows me nothing. It didn't then and it still hasn't."
Levi didn't know what to say. Was the prince... confiding in Levi? Telling him his troubles? Although it was not much of seriousness, it was still voiced in a tone of worry, of frustration. And for some reason, Levi couldn't stand to see him in such a light, troubled by the fact that the mirror didn't see any beauty in him. Why? He didn't know.
So, for the first time he says something
"You don't see anything because you're beautiful as a whole. There's no special part of you that's beautiful."
Levi himself was shocked of the words he said, eyes stilling and body terrified of the response that would come from the other, so much so he turned away. He closed his eyes, shaking his head at the words that escaped him, mind still running around in panic mode, finding it unbelievable that not only did he just speak, he said that. Definitely made an impression on the prince, with those words he was sure he did.
But he didn't hear laughter, he didn't hear any voice mocking him, teasing him for the words he said, telling him to go out. Instead he felt a brush on his shoulder, forcing him to turn around. He didn't know he was standing in front of the mirror until he was forced to open his eyes. He didn't know how or when it had happened, it was as if there was a gap in his memory where he had walked up or had been dragged there, but by the time he had opened his eyes, he was facing the mirror and he could see himself in it. At least, what was supposed to be him.
But instead he was faced with nothing but a blurred figure, a shadow of him. The same shadow that once followed him under the dying rays of the run now stood in front of him, enacting him, being him. He just stood there, at a loss of words. Levi didn't know what to expect but it definitely wasn't this, whoever this was. When the boy next to him asked him what he saw, he said nothing. But this time, it was simply because he himself didn't know what he saw. Backing away, he turned and left, mind heavy with the thought of the shadow, a furrow in his brow that took away the youth he presented.
He didn't bother looking back this time and Lucifer didn't bother going after him.
_______
In the spillway's cans I found the trapped body
skinned from jaw to tail, its rib shredding
flesh soft as bread into the brook's rapids.
Levi Aotrom hated being told to do things. He was rather the kind of person who would do things on his own accord, when time called for it. He didn't like preparing for things, he didn't like being told to prepare for things. But really, all of it came down to how he simply hated being ordered. It was not much of rebellion towards the authority as it was the teenaged need to be free to do what was wanted to be done. After all, who enjoyed receiving orders and carrying them out especially when you didn't even like the order being given?
And being told what to do was just a step away from being told how to be and Levi doesn't know about the rest but he surely hated having to be told how he should act, how to behave, towards people, royals, elders, kids his age. It set a flame of annoyance in him that he couldn't suppress, a forced smile on his face as he pretends to listen, pretends that he cares for this ordeal, pretends to please when he knows he can't. But all it did was made him better at pretending to be someone he wasn't, the very thing he didn't want to be.
Funny, isn't it?
_______
His family was finally proud of him – and all it took was an invitation to the palace by the prince himself. A play date, they said. Because Levi was totally at the age of holding play dates, he was just thirteen, the peaking age for play dates really. Is what Levi should have said, instead he stared at the invitation bewildered, confused as to why this was sent and why it was addressed to him of all people. Did the prince... consider them friends?
But that could only be answered by the boy himself, which is how Levi found himself standing in front of the large doors of the palace, hand raised to knock on the wood but he hesitated, contemplating his choice and decision. He could still run if he wanted to. None of the family is aware he's there yet, there's still a chance of escape. All he needs to do is turn around and not look back...
"I wouldn't keep him waiting if I were you."
Startled, the boy turned around with panicked eyes, the raised hand now dropping to his side. He was met with Her Highness, Queen Parisa herself, dressed much like a widow, despite the fact her husband was well and alive, probably inside the palace too. Yet she stood out there, flaunting herself in a black dress and veil, an umbrella being carried behind her as she stood in front of Levi, her hands delicately placed in front of her, a tip of her head. "He isn't as patient as he puts himself to look like. He is, after all, still a child."
Levi wasn't sure how to reply to that, but then again, even if he knew what he was going to say, he wouldn't. He did that a lot, he had started to notice, as the Royal Family started entering his life. Which, of course, wasn't necessarily odd, they are The Family, it is to be expected that though he had witnessed enough fools become the opposite of him, start babbling and rambling in a mess of words. Maybe that's where he learnt to keep a quiet tongue in front of them, he had always had the front seat to the humiliation others had to go through.
There laid a blanket of awkward silence between the two, as Levi stilled, afraid to make a move despite the fact the Queen herself had told him too. She simply watched him, unblinkingly watching him, as if he were a deer caught in headlights and she was the spotlight that fell on him.
And then she started walking, suddenly and spontaneously. One moment she stood frozen there, as if she was paralyzed and the next, she started walking, leaving him alone. Well, that's what he though but as he watched the umbrella holder beckon him to follow, he scrambled forward, striking a finger towards himself to make sure he was right. When a nod confirmed, he staggered behind them, lightly jogging to keep up with the surprisingly long strides from such a petit woman.
"I was surprised when Lucifer asked to arrange for you to meet him," The Lady started with a warning, she hadn't stopped walking and as Levi looked around, he found himself entering the maze that fit beside the palace, apparently made for a fun game between the visitors, but really a method of entertainment for the family to watch the others lose themselves in the allegedly unsolvable maze. Well, unsolvable to others maybe but the Moriarta's had been set loose in such a court as children, the way imprinted on their brains.
"You, out of all the people. Interesting." Well, that was something Levi himself couldn't figure out, which was why he was here in the first place. He needed to know why him of all people, once he figured out how to speak to the prince without stuttering or saying things that will again make a fool out of himself.
Halted by the sudden stop of the Queen, Levi stepped backwards a little, to put a little space, out of both; respect and fear, though it was quite evident the latter was more appropriate. But it seemed as though Parisa had other ideas, stepping forward to his every step backward until she was levelled with him, eyes meeting him in clear doubt and question.
"What's so special about you?"
She had already started walking as she finished, turning around and leaving a stunned Levi who stood still unblinking before he realized they were going to be out of sight and he would be lost if he didn't follow.
"I mean, you don't even speak. And when you do, well its very evident why you choose not to speak."
Levi almost stopped dead in his tracks at the mention of that, color drained from his face. Wait a minute, wait a damn minute. What did she just say? No, she could not possibly know about that. She wasn't there, she could not possibly know.
Unless he told her, of course. Then she knows, she knows everything. From the first meet to the last, she knows everything. Why is he surprised, this was to be expected really. This was Queen Parisa, of course she raised her children to tell her everything, know every little detail. Of course, she knows the one humiliating detail of his life that he had hoped died in that room. But he keeps forgetting the reason why it is shameful.
"Now come one, if you stop, you'll get lost. Then I'd have to deal with an upset Lucy and I'd rather not."
By some miracle, Levi found it in himself to start walking again, heavy feet following the Queen as she makes her way, no hesitation or doubt in her with every step forward. She looked careless, as if she hadn't just casually mentioned Levi's one moment he had hoped to forget for the rest of his life, as if she hadn't just let it drop that she was well aware the kind of person he was. It made him wonder who else, the King? His siblings? The Myster? Anyone he was close with. He could already imagine them, laughing over his awkward phrasing, pointing fingers at his words and telling Lucifer he found quite some kid.
He was so lost in his own insecurities that he failed to notice the slip of the nickname, the prince being regarded as anything but his name by his family, a surprise coming from the Queen of all people and it would have been a good moment to smile at the name yet he was too far involved with his own humility that every other sense except following them left him.
By the time Levi had gathered some of his sense back to him, they had already reached the end of the maze, the boy too far blown away by the events that had taken place to even care that he had made it out alive out of the rumored bloody maze. He simply stood there, at the exit as the Queen turned to face him once again, this time thankfully with some distance between them.
With a hand now reaching out to grab the umbrella, the now unnecessary maiden left the area in a hurry, as if scared that she might be smite if she didn't.
Levi wished he could leave with her.
But here he was, trapped in a corner like a mouse would be by a cat. Parisa let out a sigh, similar to the one Lucifer had made on their last meet, the most torturous day of his life. He let his mind be clouded with just that moment, letting the other incident slide away, a deflecting technique that he now knows only rotted his brain away, masking the truth of the particular meet that day.
"Lucifer is still but a child," Parisa started, as if cautiously choosing her next words. "he may pretend that he knows all but he remains an inquirer as a child must be. And as a mother, who am I to stop my child from exploring the world and the humanity that lays withing?"
Levi simply blinked at her, confused and still buzzed a little. He didn't understand what she was saying, what she was trying to convey. Despite how she seemed to pause in between to find the right words, Levi failed to understand the message she was sending him, a hint he should have picked up on or even a red flag he should have seen.
And maybe she would have dropped her riddles and stated her dilemma straight had he not interrupted.
"Leviathan?"
His head snapped towards his direction, the small body of the prince coming into view from behind his mother. He tilted his head in question, silently asking why he was here instead of at the doors, asking for Lucifer like he was expected to. Yet here he was, caught off-guard in a middle of a... can it be called a conversation?
Regardless, whatever it was it was clearly over. And if Lucifer's interruption was no indication then the way Parisa cleared her throat and regarded her son clearly stated that it was. With a hand on her son's shoulder she informed him with a smile that she was just dropping the boy off to him, bringing him over so its easier for him. And as naïve is a child when it comes to trusting their parent, Lucifer nodded with no hint of question or doubt, turning to face Levi instead and beckoning him to follow him.
He spent the rest of the day trying to decipher what the Queen was trying to tell.
He now looks back to this day with shame and regret buried in his eyes. If only he had understood. But he was a child too, young and inexperienced. He couldn't see the future, and neither could he read minds or people. He simply saw what was surface level and accepted it, at least for a while. But when Lucifer was done with him, he realized what she truly meant and many things more that he wished he could go back to being ignorant about.
_______
Wobbly from flight I built a fire from gnawed sticks,
blew the skeleton into sparks unit it rose
and hardened into constellations over the mountain.
Levi loved Lucifer Moriarta. He realized after what felt like decades but were just months passing by, eyes glazing at the thought of the prince and that secretive smile he always had on, a twinkle in his eyes as he talked about his interest of the month – which was never consistent mind you, it kept shifting though he had noticed that recently he had been very excited about a beetle? – hands all over the place as he didn't hide in the childish excitement. It made Levi the happiest when he was like that, when he truly looked his age and not some burdened prince. He looked young and free, careless like kids were supposed to be, instead of his usual mature aura that made Levi's guts twist.
He couldn't help the smile that fell from his lips whenever he was near Lucifer, just a shy, almost hidden away smile that always made the other boy comment on how he should smile bigger. After that comment he would always attempt to but by the time the next day rolled in he was back to that shy smile just to hear Lucifer say them again and again, blissful to his ears because it showed he noticed him and the things he did. It made Levi's chest burst like he had been hit by a flutter of butterflies.
Yes, Levi Aotrom was definitely in love with Lucifer.
How unfortunate.
_______
"Lucifer?"
Sitting atop the infamous cliff, overlooking the heart of the region, Levi watched as the said boy rolled up a boulder half way through the cliff, muscles straining to keep it from rolling down and away. He had been at this for the past hour or so, struggling to make it fully reach the top without so much as a use of his power or external help. Adamant on making Sisyphus, although dead and fictional, look like a fool. Levi had spent the entire time either watching him do so or through in helpful comments like 'there's a rock in the way' or 'you're almost at the top', only for Lucifer to turn a deaf ear at that.
Bored out of his mind now, Levi was pricking at the skin on his foot, skinning out the dead skin off the top. He had kept a watchful eye on the other boy, once in a while raising his head to only find him doing the same thing he had been doing before.
At Levi's mention of his name, Lucifer simply hummed for him to continue, at least Levi assumed that was what he did. He couldn't be sure. Nevertheless, he took it as a sign to continue.
"When do you think you'll find love? I mean I know we're still young and its silly to think about it now bu–"
A crash had stopped Levi from continue, head whipping to see the prince now stilled– paralyzed, as Levi had been months ago. Where the boulder should have been laid a missing space, instead to be found at the bottom of the hill where it had crashed into another boulder. Lucifer didn't seem to move, making Levi tense up in confusion and concern, close to voicing them out and questioning him when he was interrupted, once again.
"I don't think I am capable of love, Leviathan." The voice that said this was way different than the one Lucifer usually suited, this voice was smaller and full of question, but rather than the natural curiosity it was replaced with doubt; a tone Levi didn't think he'd ever had the chance to encounter when with Lucifer. But Levi was more focused on his choice of words, brows now furrowing as the figure slumped their shoulders together and walked towards where the boy was sitting.
"Of course, you are Lucy, why won't you be?"
Levi tried to smile while saying that, tugging at the said boy's hand to make him sit down. He even used the nickname Lucifer had now given him permission to use, making the boy feel touched to be given such an honor at the moment. He knew it was terribly stupid to feel such a way for a nickname, but seeing as who it was coming from, Levi couldn't help but feel such way. Yet he tried not to use that nickname a lot, rather retiring to use it only once in a while, mainly for emphasis.
In return, Levi urged Lucifer to call upon him with not his full name but no matter how many times he did so, the boy refused to stop, instead making it a point to say it more and more. But it really only ended with Levi smiling for he too enjoyed hearing the way his name left the Moriarta boy's lips. He just didn't have the heart to admit it.
"You don't get it Leviathan. I don't think I can ever fall in love. Or be loved, at least not in that way."
What a lie, what a horrid thing to say when Levi sat there inches away, breath taken away because he was so madly, infuriatingly, not-so-subtly in love with him and he couldn't even see it?
Levi physically looked hurt, eyes incredulously wide with panic and small hands turning into a fist at the words spilling out. "You can't say that," defensive tone piled up another, Levi spoke shakily at Lucifer's claim. He could not just say that, not when Levi was there, never when he was there.
"Why not?"
"No, you can't say that, not after I have been in love with you ever since we met on that day on the hill Lucifer."
For the first time in the time Levi had met Lucifer, did he not look away making such a proclamation. Lucifer's face slowly started contorting into a smile, soft at first until a chuckle escaped him.
"You're not in love with me Levi."
It was his first time using his nickname, but that fell through Levi's mind as he focused on the first few words, a frown etched onto his face. Who was Lucifer to know how Levi felt or didn't feel? Especially if he couldn't even see the feelings Levi blatantly paraded in front of him, since the meaning of subtle was never present in the room with Levi if Lucifer happened to be there.
"I am in love with you."
It was barely above a whisper, the hurt he felt now expressed in his tone of pain. Levi, unsurprisingly, did mean it even if Lucifer dared to think he didn't and he didn't know why, he truly didn't know why he felt so defensive about such a thing. He was just a child, just briefly a teenager. Was Levi really, truly sure that what he felt, with so much passion and assurance, love? Or was it infatuation of meeting someone so different, someone who doesn't treat him the same?
Apparently, Lucifer thought the same thing as leaned onto his arms, rolling them under him and closed his eyes. "No," he with a shake of his head as he finally opened his eyes towards the well-known gloomy weather that adored the skies of Fearann Bais. "You're in love with an idea of me. I know the way you look at me, thinking that what I tell you, show you is what is only there. But you don't love me."
"I am in love with you."
There was something different about the way Levi said it this way, almost angry with the lack of acceptance. Desperation was clear in the tone, almost overwhelmingly so, but Lucifer was most interesting to the almost commanding tone Levi had adopted, as if ready to impose his claim on Lucifer if he were not the accept it. As if he truly did believe he loved Lucifer.
Could he? Was it really possible?
He had always supposed not but with the first burst of passion seen from Levi in the many years he had examined him, it truly enthralled Lucifer with this sudden neurotic reaction, neurotic for Levi maybe not for others, witnessed in the lowly boy. It made him waver for a second, actually contemplate if the reality was this, if this was not just naïve desperate boy longing for an output. It filled him with questions, opened up a whole universe of prospective he had never bothered to look for.
It filled him with curiosity of the nature that Levi harbored, of the passion he displayed, of the assurance he seemed to be giving himself with every claim. It made him wonder about the power he could hold...
"You're in love with me."
The surprise and fascination were evident in his tone as Lucifer concluded his thoughts, bringing his face back to face the boy, who was staring at him with unafraid and unblinking eyes, burning the prince with even more curiosity of the sudden nature change. He stared back, watching the expression on Levi's morph from frustration to happiness. He only wondered how Levi felt, although he didn't need to because Levi had always been an open book to him, yet he couldn't help but wonder how such feelings could be felt, towards him. What a wonder the human mind is.
Levi was, in fact, so delighted in the high of such an agreement, Levi stopped thinking and did. Probably a mistake, probably not. He could only know by doing it.
So, he leaned forward to where Lucifer leans on the back of his arm.
Lucifer didn't lean back.
_______
Climbing down the trail animals had risen on
i felt my bones in mourning shudder to bones.
The clatter of boots was my first measure,
the hush of distant waterfalls my only song.
If you asked Levi that day, he would parallel his stories to Achilles' and Patroclus' infamous tale, a much-desired mentor-mentee bond that evolved to something behind the heeding eyes of the people, a tragedy bled from misery and love beyond anything the universe could ever measure from. But he now sees how much akin it is to Icarus' love for the sun than it is to the complete devotion of a misunderstood traitor to his God.
If only he'd have seen that sooner than later.
_______
THE END.
note:
the poem is HENRY HART'S 'Icarus on Stone Mountain'.
writing style inspired by 'on a bridge in tamna' on AO3 and MADELINE MILLER'S 'The Song of Achilles'.
the style changes in some sections which is because it was written over a period of 2 months so i lost some of the caliber that i first started writing this with.
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