Look out for the <>!

"El, babe, we're going home for the night," mom said as she brushed some of my hair behind my ear, forcing a smile as if everything was fine. But it wasn't, they were the ones that could go home and I was stuck here for the night.

After mom showed the house earlier today, she came back already crying. Seeing her cry made me cry, and to be honest, we all cried a lot as fear of the unknown ate into all of us.

"We'll be back first thing tomorrow," dad added with a smile.

I wanted to protest, wanting to go home with them, not wanting to stay here for the night. I didn't want to do more tests tomorrow, I just wanted to go home and go back to my normal life and have this be a terrible nightmare. "Ok," I replied.

"We love you, and we'll talk to you tomorrow," dad said as he slipped on his winter puffer coat and shivered. He was used to the warm November weather in China, not the humid '30s of Portland just yet.

I nodded with a yawn, feeling tired already. "Of course. See you then," I said, trying to sound as calm as possible, but inside I was screaming 'don't leave me'.

They smiled lightly, not noticing my internal cries for help, then left without another word, closing the door behind them.

In the room's emptiness, the only thing that would keep me company were my thoughts. All alone with them brought a fresh wave of emotion. Anxiety, frustration, worry, and fear filled my room to the brim as I remembered everything from today and yesterday.

The meeting with Doctor Wells just cemented the idea that I wasn't well. At least everyone thought so, but I didn't want to believe it. There was so much I had to do with Nationals coming up. I had to be 100%; I didn't have time to be sick or be here for that matter.

I ran my hand through my messy and slightly greasy bed hair bun, knowing I couldn't stay here any longer. I had to get out for some fresh air. My thoughts were suffocating me.

Without wasting a minute, I got out of bed and slipped on my ugg boots then put my tan puffer coat on. Nothing was going to make me stay here for another second. I was fine and I would show them that.

I cracked the door open and looked both ways down the empty hall. With the coast clear, it was safe to get out. I zipped my coat and with a destination in mind, I walked out of the room. It was 9 PM and most things were shutting down, but I knew there was one place I could always go to. I walked out quietly down the hall, careful that I didn't draw attention to myself.

"Hey you, there," a voice echoed the halls behind me.

Anxiety took over as I stopped in mid-walk, knowing I was caught. I thought I could get out of here easier. I took a deep breath, and I turned to face a mid-30s looking nurse with a frown. I pointed to myself, as if making sure she actually wanted me, knowing I needed to be confident and fool her.

She nodded, causing her brown curly hair to bounce. She put her hands on her hips as if demanding an answer from me. "Yes you. What are you doing?" she asked, clearly irritated.

"I was visiting someone," I lied.

"Do you know visiting hours are over with? How did you manage to stay an extra hour?"

I shrugged in silence, hoping that was enough of an answer for her.

She stared at me, reading anything and everything that she could from my appearance.

I stood up a little taller as I stared back at her. I was a visitor here, nothing else.

Finally, she sighed, not wanting to deal with me any longer. "Well then, go home. Come back tomorrow if you really want to visit," she said as her pager went off. She sighed loudly and turned on her heels before walking away.

I smiled as I watched her walk into another room. For now, I was safe. Knowing that this could happen again, I sped up. I got to the elevator and went down to the lobby. I looked around the sleepy floor and saw no one around. Feeling more free than I had in the last 24 hours, I smiled as I walked through the empty lobby, then out the front door. Easy as an axle.

The cold early winter air hit my face, and I shivered, pulling my coat closer to me. I pulled out my phone and frowned, seeing that I only had 5% battery left, but I needed the maps to get me to where I wanted. The closest ice rink was almost four miles from here. I knew I could get there in an hour and a half if I walked fast. And with that, I started my quest for the only place I wanted to be right now.

Within what felt like minutes, I found myself walking down the main road as wind slapped my face. I was freezing. I stuffed my hands in my coat pockets and pushed forward. I couldn't give up, no matter how much the wind cut through my leggings.

With every step I took, I felt myself get more tired. I started to think that maybe this was a stupid idea. I frowned as I looked at my phone again for the fifth time that hour. I only have 1% but by now I was less then a mile away. I smiled. I was so close. Suddenly my phone died. But I didn't worry since I knew how to get the rest of the way without a map.

As I pushed forward, I saw the ski resort lodge take shape. It was a modest one, made out of logs, and standing only two stories tall. To the side of the lodge was an empty outdoor ice rink. Here it was. All the cold and walking was worth it as it appeared before me.

I walked up to the boards and looked at the perfectly smooth ice in front of me. I wanted on it. I knew that as soon as my feet touched the ice, I would feel whole and home. I shivered. By now the burning feeling my legs had from the cold had dissipated. I was finally getting used to the cold air around me. I opened the door to the rink and shuffled myself to the middle of the ice. I grinned as I looked around myself. This was where I belonged, not the hospital.

I sat down on the ice, not caring if I would start melting it. I laid back and looked at the stars above me. It was quiet, peaceful. The stars twinkled above me like little spot lights. This is what I needed, not the noise of the beeping machines or people coming into my room at the hospital.

<>

I laid there for what felt like hours in silence and surrounded by silence. I welcomed the peace like a warm blanket.

I thought again about all of the events that lead me here. There was such fear for the future. But as I laid here, I knew everything would be ok. Whatever challenge I faced in the upcoming days, I could battle through it. I was a figure skater. I have seen challenges before.

Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, I heard the snow crunch in the distance. Someone was coming. I wondered if they were here like me to sneak some free late-night skating in.

"What the hell are you doing out there, Ellis?" Callum shouted at me.

I looked at him with a frown but refused to move myself from the ice. I had have been out here for hours. I had been gone almost all night long. No one seemed to notice I was missing, except him. How did he even know I was gone, it wasn't like we had been talking.

"You're going to freeze," Callum said as he opened the door to the rink. He looked at me then at the ice with fear.

I watched him in silence. If the ice was his greatest fear, he wouldn't come to me and I was staying here. No one could take me from this place. This was my home and I was leaving on my own terms. This is where we had an impasse.

Callum took a breath and let it out slowly. He looked terrified as he stepped onto the ice. He slid instantly, losing his balance but caught himself before he fell to the frozen ground. "Ellis, I'm not playing around here," he warned as he hung to the wall for dear life.

Neither was I. This was my home and no one could take that from me. If my skating career was over, I rather die here, looking up at the stars from the frozen rink. At least I was here in my element. At least I was home.

He sighed loudly and took a shuffle towards me. "Ellis, come on," he begged me from half a rink away. He didn't want to go any farther.

I shook my head at him. I knew that he wouldn't go any farther. I was safe to enjoy the clear night in peace. I looked back up at the sky and counted the stars for the 10th time since I got here.

I let out a breath and saw the fog my air made. It was cold but now I didn't feel the cold. In fact, I felt hot. I started to unzip my puffer coat but a pair of hot firm hands stopped me. I looked up at Callum and frowned. I was sure he wouldn't come to me. I thought that the rink was his fear. If it was why was I that important to stop? "What are you doing?" I snapped.

"I should be asking you the same question." He said, losing his balance and stumbling to his butt. He cringed as he rubbed it he then grabbed a hold of my hand and squeezed it as if it would provide ease to his mind. "You're freezing Ellis," he said to me.

I shrugged it off. That was odd because I didn't feel cold, at least not anymore.

"You got the whole hospital looking for you. How did you manage to leave unnoticed," he asked.

I shrugged again. I had no idea. But I would like to know how he knew that information. Callum held more information about everyone then he let on. I had a feeling that his tentacles were spread all over this town, collecting information where he saw beneficial to him. Maybe Paulo was right, maybe he was trouble. I smiled at him. "I sweet-talked myself out."

He chuckled as he took off his coat and put it over me. "Why am I not surprised."

In silence, I looked back up at the stars. My solitude was over with him sitting right beside me. He was here to bring me back, but I didn't want to go just yet. I wanted to memorize the calm of this night.

"How long have you been out here?"

I shrugged again. I had no idea. Hours probably.

He gave me a slight frown then pulled out his phone. "Hello, Eliza? Oh, Rafa, um, I found her," he said into his phone as he looked around where he was. "We're at my father's ski resort, at the outdoor rink... Ok. See you soon."

My time was up. They would be here for me soon enough. "How did you find me?" I asked, hoping to get some information from him.

Callum looked at me again and cupped my cheek. His hand was hot against my icy skin. "Believe it or not, Ellis, but you're not as unpredictable as you would want to be." He said and shivered as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Hell, it's cold. Why couldn't you have found a warmer sport to do."

I chuckled as tears came to my eyes. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or stress but as I looked at Callum I suddenly believe that I could trust him, if only for this second. Whatever I said to him would not be spread like wildfire. He was completely separated from the skating world. He was a priest and I was about to confess my deepest sins. "I don't think I can skate anymore."

Just the thought gave me anxiety. I devoted everything I had to the sport I loved, and now this. I shoot my head. My heart was breaking, over and over again. I didn't know what I was without the sport.

Callum looked at me and wiped a tear from my face. He looked concerned. "Said who?"

I shrugged. No one told me that but I could read in between the lines. I was already missing skating on Monday. How many other days would I have to miss?

He nodded. "Exactly, no one said you need to give up. Look, I don't know what you're dealing with. But one thing I do know is that, yes things might change and maybe they'll be hard, but if life was easy, it wouldn't be called life. Just because it'll be tough doesn't mean you have to stop."

"But what'll happen when it gets too hard?" I asked as if I knew it would come to that.

He shrugged as if the answer was easy. "You don't know if it will get too hard. And if it does, then you'll change your plans. You're a fighter, after all, you have Paulo and Jamison as brothers."

I chuckled lightly at him.

He blew into his hands to warm them. "I think my ass is melting the ice." He was trying to make light of the predicament but I could still see fear in his eyes.

"The ice will do that," I said with a lack of emotion.

He sighed. "Come on, let's get off."

I shook my head. I wasn't leaving. This was my home. No one could take me away from it.

"Ellis."

"Tell me why you are afraid of the ice," I asked him. I didn't know anything about him, but underneath the night sky, I felt like he would share. There was nothing around to judge him and I surely won't. I blinked the moister out of my eyes in hopes to see him better. It didn't work. I couldn't see the little moles on his cheeks anymore.

Callum shook his head as he looked around, as if someone would see him. Callum was too guarded and I wanted to know why. His secrets were what drew me in, like a rat to a trap. "If I tell you, will you get off the ice?"

I nodded.

For a second, he looke like a different person, one that didn't care what people thought of him. He sighed and opened his mouth but breaking us from the moment was the sound of my father's voice. "Ellis. Goodness. You had all of us terrified."

I looked over and saw a fuzzy version of my dad standing at the boards of the rink. His muffled voice made me think I was imagining him. "You can see him, right?"

Callum looked at the boards. He frowned at me. He knew something was wrong and I didn't have to say it. "Rafa? Yeah, I can see him. Come on, El. Let's get you back," Callum said as he stood up from the ice carefully.

He offered his hand and I took it. I sighed. "Ok." With great effort, he pulled me from the ice. I took a step forward and clasped on the ice.

"Ellis!" dad called out to me.

I looked at Callum with fear. I could have sworn my legs were working just fine a minute ago.