TW: mentions of being broken up, bickering, and slight cussing

I remember watching an episode of Bunk'd (Amazing show btw, highly recommend.) and I decided that the Canadian border person and American border person remind me of one of my favorite ships!

So I decided to make this.

Have fun, I guess.

Human au and kind of high school au

{Third Person POV}

"Roman, I'm pretty sure we're lost." Virgil told the other, who rolled his eyes, "I seriously doubt that Virgil. I've been in these woods a million times-"

"Five times."

"More than you." Janus chimed in, "And point is, I know where we are." Roman continued, "Really?" Virgil asked, stopping where he was and crossing his arms over his chest, "Then where are we?"

"Oh! We're in... the part of the woods where.." Roman looked around but noticed something, it looked like a wooden booth type thing, like ones you would see at a carnival, y'know, where you try to win a comically large stuffed bear only to loose and waste your money on that one thing.

Yeah, it kinda reminded him of those.

He walked forward and the others, while confused, followed him.

"Where are we going?" Remus asked, he had been unsually quiet for most of the hike.

"I have no idea." Janus muttered.

"There seems to be a person at that booth thing, so whatever's going on in his small mind is probably dumb." Virgil said and Roman rolled his eyes, "For your information, I'm asking whoever's there for directions."

"Nice. Admitting that we're lost." Janus said sarcastically.

"Shut up." Roman told him, the group arriving at the booth and knocking on the glass.

Whoever was in said booth got shocked but grinned widely when seeing the group of high-schoolers.

"Hi!" He said as he walked up to them. He was wearing a tan button up shirt with a badge and patches on the sleeves, along with matching brim hat, his round glasses taking up most of his face.

"Hello, I'm Roman Kelly, son of Maryanne and Jason Kelly." Roman said proudly, holding his hand out for the other.

"Well I'm not sure why your telling me that, but I'm Patton Lafitte, Canada border guard." He said with excitement, shaking Roman's hand.

"Have you never heard of my parents?" Roman asked, ignoring almost everything else he said.

"Nope!" He said, popping the "P", "Maryanne Correll Kelly? You've never heard of her?" He shook his head and Roman turned to the others, disbelief all over his face.

"She's the top fashion designer in the U.S.!"

"Roman, stop talking about your mom! We're in Canada!" Janus shouted at him.

"Oh... oh! Whoops, can you show us where Camp Kikiwaka is?" Roman asked, showing him the map he had been carrying all throughout their hike. (But couldn't really understand, but he wouldn't admit that.)

"Oh, you'll want to talk to that Yahoo in the other booth." Patton pointed over to a similar booth diagonally across from his own.

"Hey Logan!"

The booth opened and they seen another man stand in the doorway of it, he was wearing a navy blue button up, along with a matching tie. Much like Patton he had glasses, although they were black and had more of a square shape, he also had on a hat, although it was a baseball cap, a logo for America border control on both it and sleeves of his shirt.

"Patton!" He shouted as he walked out, "Stop screeching, that voice is like nails on my eyeballs!"

The four teenagers looked at each other worridely.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt your precious crossword puzzle?" Patton asked with a sarcastic tone, Logan glaring at him.

"Oh, here's a hint." Patton pulled the crossword puzzle closer to himself and pointed at the paper as he spoke, "Twelve across is infinitesimal."

"That was one time!" Logan defended, and Patton rolled his eyes.

"Besides, I may have misinterpreted what the word meant, but at least I can be funny, while you're about as funny as a beaver with a toothache." He muttered. "Excuse you! My jokes are hilarious."

"Sorry to interrupt your delightful... banter," Janus interrupted before the two could continue, "But could you give us directions on how to get to Camp Kikiwaka?"

"Oh, sure." Logan walked over and stood next to Janus, pointing down the path, "You need to take a left at the brook, walk ahead until you get to a patch of daisies, turn right once you get there, and then go straight ahead. You should find a dirt road. Simply follow that and you should be at your camp."

"Nothing is simple with you." Patton muttered from his spot standing by his booth. Logan glared over at him but calmly walked back to his own booth.

The four went to cross back over but quickly got stopped, "Woah, woah, woah, I can't let you back into the United States without proper identification."

"But we were just on a hike... we don't have an ID." Virgil responded.

"Well I suppose you're stuck in Canada." Logan said with a shrug, "With him." He added, pointing over at Patton, who narrowed his eyes just slightly at him.

"Well shit." Remus muttered as he flopped onto the ground.

~

It had been about twenty minutes and after Roman had attempted to bribe Logan into letting them back into the United States, the four were all sitting on the ground between the crossing rails of the two booths.

Then Janus heard something.

"What's that?" He asked, looking around. "Oh, it's Flappy. My bird friend I just found." Remus said, holding up his cupped hands and showing off a small, yellow and brown bird in his hand.

"Wait a moon pie, that's a Canada Warbler!" Patton said as he walked over, carefully taking Remus' "bird friend" and letting observing it, wanting to make sure he was correct.

He was.

"They're a protected species here in Canada." He explained before letting the bird fly off, "Wait.. were you trying to smuggle him outta the country?"

"No, I just wanted to take him home with me." Remus stated and both Janus and Virgil face palmed.

"You sir, are in big trouble with the Canadian government." Patton said and began walking over to his booth again, "Sorry." He added quietly.

"Wait a second," Logan began as he walked over, "They're already in big trouble with the U.S."

"And may I add, a country with real sports, not "ice sweeping"." He added, turning to look at Patton.

Patton gasped before speaking, "How dare you! Curling is a frozen water ballet!"

"It's people in puffy jackets doing housework!" Logan countered.

Patton sighed and turned to the teens, "C'mon, kiddos." He began walking and so did the teens.

"Don't move an inch." Logan told them, following Patton.

"We just created an international incident!" Virgil whisper-shouted to his friends, panic evident in his voice as the two guards bickered.

"Maybe we can make a run for it!" Remus whisper-shouted back.

"We might as well try." Janus said with an eyeroll.

"Okay, but if there's a criminal record on my permanent record, I'm killing you." Roman told his brother.

"Whatever, let's go."

The three ran but a siren went off and a fishing net fell over them.

"Oh, shit." Remus repeated the curse he had said earlier.

~

"Bribery," Logan said as he wrote on his clipboard, "Attempted escape,"

"Don't forget bird smuggling!" Remus chimed in, getting smacked in the back of the head by Janus.

"I can't believe I'll have a criminal record!" Roman sobbed dramatically on the ground, wiping his face with tissues from his backpack, "Now I'll never get into an amazing fashion school!" He stated, tossing the used tissue on the ground in front of him.

"And littering." Logan concluded, Roman sobbing more dramatically.

"Holy Zamboni! If you cried this much during winter you'd be a block of ice!" Patton commented, not wanting the teen to cry more than he already was.

"Please, can't you just forget about this and let us go?" Virgil asked, voice quite quiet since he didn't want to come off as too demanding.

"That would be easy for Patton," Logan said as he flipped some pages on his clipboard. "He forgets everything." He added, walking over to his booth.

"Here we go again!" Patton exclaimed, "So I forgot the one year anniversary of our first date. Big whup! I apologized a million times!" He yelled, stomping over towards the other.

"Hey, I got an idea to get us out of here." Roman stated, standing back up and looking as if he didn't just cry on the ground.

"This'll be fun." Janus commented as he watched Roamn walk over to he two.

"So Logan, Patton," he began and the two stopped their bickering, turning toward the teen about whatever it was he was going to say to them.

"Where exactly do you think your relationship went wrong?" He asked it as if he were a professional, tone formal and serious.

"I'll tell you where it went wrong. He had so many anniversaries for us, I could barely keep track of them all!" Patton gestured over to Logan as he spoke.

"First hug, first canoe ride," he listed them off as he walked away from Logan, "First time we made cookies together..." He looked over at Logan with caring eyes and small smile before looking at the ground.

"So your relationship ended over one forgotten date?" Roman asked, "How sad."

"True," Janus joined in the conversation, walking over and next to Roman, "But I think I know how we can solve this issue."

Both Logan and Patton turned their attention towards him, both wanting to be back together with the other and interested in what he would say.

"What if Logan just chooses one anniversary to celebrate? That way it will be easier for Patton to remember." He gestured over to Patton who was stil looking down at the ground.

"How about... November eleventh?" Logan suggested almost hopefully and Patton looked up at him, a smile gracing his lips. "The day we first met!"

"You remember?" Logan asked as the other skipped over to him, "Of course I do! You dug me out of a snow drift! And I still have the blanket you gave me on account of me being so cold."

"That's... oddly sweet." Logan responded, smiling at Patton, who mirrored the expression, smiling back at him.

"So.. do you maybe wanna try again?" Patton asked, holding his hand out, "I would." Logan agreed, taking Patton's hand in his own.

The two took a moment of just smiling at each other before Patton turned to Roman, "Thanks so much Roman. How can we ever repay you?"

"Well... you could let us go." "Well.. I don't know." Logan told him.

"Y'know, Lo, that would mean we get some time to catch up." Patton told him with a smile. Logan sighed in fake annoyance but was smiling slightly, "Fine."

1886 words

Is it just me or did I write Patton really out of character?

I don't know, you tell me. It's practically two a.m. and I'm tired and just want to sleep forever.

But I finished the chapter!

Whoo!

Time to sleep.

Anyways,

Bi~❤💛💚💙💜