It Comes And Goes In Waves/ Monsters In The Dark
"Are you ready?" Jeremy leans back on his car. A nice fucking Mercedes Benz convertible at that. Being a doctor has it's perks I guess.
Both Paul and I look at the courthouse. Jeremy was willing to take time out of his day to come with me to try to get a restraining order against Dave. Dave who STILL texts me to apologize, to say it was the booze, to want to meet up and talk to me about everything. It's to the point it's almost daily. Jeremy told me to save the messages on my phone and also print them up for the judge. It isn't technically harassments. He's not saying anything bad in the messages. But it's constant.
"You really think I will qualify?"
"Yes, you need to be honest though. If other stuff happened. Things that could help show he has been abusive, you need to speak up. It's hard. I know. But it needs to be done."
I don't know if I can do this. But the appointment to meet at the courthouse has already been made and I can't back down now. I make sure my light pink button down blouse is neatly tucked into my white pencil skirt and notice Jeremy looking down at me, checking me out a little.
Men.
*******
*James*
I'm seeing less and less of Carter. I no longer hear the waves when I'm at the beach. My boy still plays in the sand but I hear people talking around me. It's frustrating. Things are happening. Things out of my control.
I heard Ma's voice. I heard her become confused, wondering what happened. Not remembering anything. The girls have to relay what happened to her over and over again
I hear what happened.
But I don't understand it.
When I don't understand things I find myself back at the beach. Yet the noises of people talking fill the air around me.
Still no Kendall.
******
*Trisha*
"I need to take a piss before we go in." Paul announces grumpily. "You stay with her."
Jeremy nods and sits next to me on the bench in the hall while we wait for the courtroom doors to open.
I can't help but be a little nervous and bounce my knee a little.
"Hey. Don't be nervous, ok?" He puts a hand on my knee to stop my bouncing. Which would be fine...if he didn't fucking leave it there while talking. "What's the worst that can happen? You get denied? You will always have Paul as your bodyguard now, right?"
"Yeah.." I look down at his hand on my knee while he talks. He looks straight ahead while doing so.
"You're gonna get the restraining order though. Don't worry." Jeremy squeezes my knee but when he takes his hand off, he does it in a way that it slides up my thigh a little, hiking up my skirt. He continues to look at the door, waiting for it to open.
Maybe he didn't realize he even did that. Maybe he's a sleezeball who has sex with his patients and flirts with whoever has a pulse. Maybe I'm on edge and overthinking everything and it was an honest mistake. But I suddenly want Paul back in the hallway with me.
*****
[It took all day but they said I qualify for the restraining order against Dave.]
I text Nate while Paul follows me grocery shopping. I had nothing at home and now that I'm back. I need to fill up my pantry. I will keep Paul happy with lots of homemade meals while he stays at my place. It's the least I can do for the bodyguard. Tonight will be lasagna.
[You did? That's great news!]
[Yeah. It wasn't done in the most honest way.... but it's done.]
I think about how Jeremy stretched the truth. He is a smart kid and used his brains and the fact that he is a well known top notch psychiatrist, to his advantage. He also threw in that I was his patient...which I'm not. As well as throwing out names , like his father who I guess is also a well known doctor, and how I would qualify in a heartbeat in the court system back east.
At some points , he flat out lied. Nevermind being my doctor, but saying things like there were undocumented text threats that I deleted before I knew to save everything. I felt uneasy about the whole thing. I really don't know this kid. He's nice and all.. but the way he does things is questionable.
Nevertheless, the process of getting the restraining order filed is in the works and I don't think I will need Dr. Donovan's help anymore, now.
I don't get into details with Nate. I just tell him Donovan stretched the truth a little to make sure I qualified.
Nor do I bring it up with Paul. It's done. It's over.
I make an amazing Lasagna for dinner, making sure Paul's stomach is nice and full, and then take a long bath while he gets settled in his new room.
*****
I wake up early, grateful to be in my own bed but still a little sad I'm not in Nate's. I think I was starting to get a little too clingy so this will actually help reel it in for me a little so I can focus better.
I'm in a good mood and want to start the day off right. We head to Starbucks on our way to the hospital so I can pick up coffee for everyone.
Paul drives.
We go through the back of the hospital like always, get through security and head up to the suite.
When I open up the door to Nate's room I almost drop the tray of coffees. Nate is sitting up in a hospital bed, with an IV and his torso wrapped tight.
"Oh my God! Nate, what happened??"
"You missed a fun night, Trish." Nate smiles a crooked smile at me with his eyes half open. What the hell is he on? A morphine drip? Jonah shakes his head.
"She freaked out in the middle of the night. Her detox is roaring its ugly head, and her Bipolar took over." Jonah removes an ice back from behind his back while sitting on the couch.
"Holy shit. What'd she do. Beat you two up?"
"Pretty much, dollface."
"Don't mind him. He's on morphine." Jonah shakes his head at Nate. He really is fucking high. Julia did all this? Nate is back in the hospital because of Julia? For Christ sakes.
"So what did she do?" Paul enters the conversation, trying to take it all in. "And why are you in a separate bed on the other side of James?" He asks but then looks over at sleeping Julia.
"Did they have to sedate her??"
It's the first thing I think of. God if we have to go through this all over again Nate is never gonna move on with life. I sit on the couch next to Jonah now and hand him one of the coffees. I lift up the back of his shirt, just a little. "Holy shit. SHE bruised you like that? Do you even have a kidney anymore?"
"Debatable."
"They had to put her in restraints." Nate says in a sing songy way and Paul can't help but laugh. Nate points to the bodyguard and smirks. "Made ya laugh."
I look over at Julia. Nate was right. Julia is in restraints.
"It took two nurses and two body guards to settle her down." Nate continues.
"Nate. Your ribs."
"Xray shows she fractured one that wasn't fully healed. Hence, the morphine. He passed out from the pain." Jonah explains for me while Nate gazes at sleeping Julia.
"She's so cute, though, isn't she?" He points a finger at her and twirls it. I roll my eyes at the silly man-child and begin to laugh.
"You're so fucking high right now..."
"They may have given him a little too much. But the pain he was in before... it was hard to watch." Jonah tries to stand up, holding his back and winces from the pain. "I don't think I'm gonna be of much use. I may have to call Melanie in to cover for me. Especially if Julia is smack dab in the middle of a manic episode. I won't be able to control her hunched over like this."
"This is unbelievable." I mumble. I was hoping this would be a good day. I had no idea last night was so bad.
"Paul, can you hand me my phone? I'll have to find coverage." Jonah points to where he phone is and Paul hands it to him.
"And you think it's a good idea to bring her back home next week after James's evaluation?! Come ON Nate. Not the wisest move to make." I blurt out. This is insane. Completely insane. She should be back at the Avalon or something. NOT hurting people.
"Lets just take it one day at a time."
Dr. Donovan comes in to join the party and Nate shows just how loopy he is right now.
"Well look who it is!"
"They already updated me at the front desk." Jeremy says somberly. "What's his issue?"
"Morphine. Maybe a little too much, but he's no longer in pain. She fractured a rib." Jonah responds.
"Hey Dipshit. Trisha is right here if you wanna sleep with her, too. Fun fact. She's actually single! Unless you're not into the single ones."
Oh my god. I'm gonna kill him. Kill.... Gonna kill him! My face turns beet red thanks to my best friend and Jeremy just laughs at that.
I ignore them both and head over to James. I spend some time holding his hand while Julia is sleeping. I want to be out of here before she wakes up so when I notice her starting to move a little, I put James's hand back down.
"Yeah. Time to go, Paulie. I'm not hanging around to watch this shitshow." I look over at Julia and stand up. Paul does the same. "I'll swing by tonight." I pat Nate's shoulder s he starts to fall asleep from the meds.
I decide not to work today. I didn't open my laptop once. Didn't check my emails. Didn't respond to Richard or anyone. Instead I dragged poor Paul to the salon so I could get my hair and nails done, then a facial. I spent most of the day at the salon so will have to make it up to Paul another day with a homecooked meal. He didn't mind though. He just sat there on his phone most of the time. Made a few calls..something about that 4th floor of the Marriott, and then we left to pick up pizza for dinner.
"Hey. Pizza delivery No hospital food tonight. How is she? Break any more bones today?" I tease as we walk into the hospital room with dinner for everyone.
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny, Trisha. You know she's like Cara. She doesn't mean to do this stuff."
"I know, Playboy. I'm just teasing. You were more fun to be around when you were high on morphine. You should have HEARD some of the stuff that came outta your mouth. "
"So I heard." Nate drops his head in embarrassment.
"Can I see James?" Julia asks. Jeremy looks at Casey, wondering if it's a good idea. Casey nods.
"Ok. But you flip out you're buckled back up. And at some point, you need to eat something, Julia." Dr. Donavan says.
The way he said it though threw me for a loop. He was almost rude to Julia. What doctor says 'but if you flip out' to a psychiatric patient? I'm pretty sure they have to be sensitive and use the correct terminology.
Casey takes off Julia's restraints for her. She looks so small, so helpless, it's hard to believe she did what she did. But she did, and she's dangerous when her bipolar kicks in, leaving everyone on edge.
She is too shaky and weak to even stand with crutches so Casey wheels over her wheelchair and helps her get in.
The second Julia is close to James, she picks up his hand and holds it to her cheek, talking to James like no one else exists.
"I'm sorry I wasn't the one to take care of you today. I freaked out last night, and the punishment today was being restrained. They put restraints on my ankles and wrists. God, James, it's awful. I can't even scratch my nose when it's itchy."
We all try not to pay attention to Julia and eat the pizza, but it's hard not to pay attention to her. We all feel terrible this has to be done but she was such a mess overnight. I know I would be a mess if someone tied me down like that. Even if I wasn't crazy, I'd probably act crazy in that situation.
"I'll try to take care of you tomorrow." Julia continues to talk like she's in her own little world, and in a way, it's a little alarming. Should she be this attached to James?
"I miss you. I miss your laugh. I miss the way you'd hug me. I miss how nothing bothered you. You never got upset with me. You always stayed.... stay," Julia corrects herself quickly. "So positive. I miss that."
Julia cries into James's hand, and we all have to look away. The air in the room becomes so thick with emotion and it is felt by everyone
"Julia. Time to eat." Jeremy demands. Again, in a way that almost sounds like he is fed up with Julia. Didn't they like, sleep together or something? I mean..... this is odd behavior. I don't say anything though my thoughts go to the worst case scenario. That being Jeremy got what he wanted out of Julia and now can be rude to her. Maybe I'm overthinking things because of yesterday. How he kept his hand on my knee and then when he slid it off, moved up my thigh a little. And how he lied to the court.
Regardless, Even though Julia's face gets red with embarrassment from the tone of his voice, she sits down and eats. I'm not sure exactly what this technique is or if it's just Jeremy being strict, but he's not fooling around, and she does what he says.
"You know when you're done eating, we have to put the restraints back on you, right?"
"Even though she's acting fine?" Nate raises an eyebrow at the therapist.
"Yes. Even though she's acting fine. Nighttime is the hardest for detox patients, and with her bipolar and outbursts, it's best to keep her and everyone in the room, safe overnight. At least for now." Jeremy explains and we all look at Julia.
Her reaction actually put a pit in my stomach. I know I don't tolerate or really care for Julia much but the way she looks right now...I feel bad for her. Like all this is too much. Like she's Cara and can't help any of this.
I watch Julia as she keeps her head down and her eyes focused on her food while she takes bites. Tears begin to stream down her face though she doesn't make a sound. When she's done eating, Jeremy wheels her back to the bed and puts the restraints on her. She doesn't fight him, she doesn't say anything, she just lays there looking up at the ceiling and crying. I end up having to look away, feeling tears of my own start to sting my eyes.
This can't be good for her. It's breaking her down.
"This is a little much, no?" Nate looks at Casey, but she shrugs.
"He's the doctor..." She says softly, almost like she doesn't agree with this approach but doesn't have the authority to say anything about it.
"She can't even turn to get comfortable. She just has to lay there like that? I mean.."
Jeremy responds now.
"She broke your rib and severely bruised a nurse's back, needed two nurses AND two bodyguards to hold her down in the middle of the night. My job is to make sure she's safe. Even from herself."
*******
After we eat dinner, Nate starts to nod off. I can't take looking at Julia tied down the way she is so me and Paul end up leaving. It's not until we are in the car that I bring it up.
"Think that's normal to do?" I ask, beating Paul to the passenger seat so he has to drive.
"What, you not facing your fears and getting behind the wheel? No, Trisha. I don't think that's normal" Paul huffs and I roll my eyes while putting my seatbelt on.
"Seatbelt." I remind him and my knee begins to bounce nervously. "And no. I mean Julia's treatment. Being restrained." I keep my eyes on the road making sure all the cars are where they need to be, away from us, while talking.
"I wasn't there last night so I can't comment on that. But I WAS there when Julia tore apart Nate's house. I was there when she tore HERSELF apart with shards of glass in that bathroom. I was there having to restrain her until the sedative kicked in so Jonah could treat her and get the glass out of her body." He shakes his head. I know he's seen and dealt with a lot but almost wonder if this specific incident scarred him a little.
"She needed to be restrained that day so I have no doubt that if she was acting the same way last night, she needed to be restrained again."
"But even during the day? I mean. She was calm, ya know?"
"Yeah, that part I don't understand. But then again. I'm not the doctor. I have no idea what is supposed to be done in that situation. But she broke Nate's rib and bruised Jonah...so.." Paul sighs after that.
I get it. I do. But I also feel like it was really breaking her down more than it should have.
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