*More of a rant/monologue type thing than a poem, but I thought it would fit better here than in Ruby's Rants and Raves*

Don't you just hate it when someone gives you something they know you've been wanting, just to take it away for absolutely no reason?

And it's not just once. It's all the time; giving you something or letting you do something they know you'll enjoy, that'll make you happy, and then taking it away before you can even begin to fully enjoy it, with no explanation or reasoning, just because they felt like it.

It happens so often that you start to get used to it, not bothering to even show that you're disappointed. And then, when you finally do stand up and say something, suddenly YOU'RE the bad guy, the whiner, the one with the attitude. You're the one who did something wrong, and even when you try to defend yourself you're just shot down and punished for your 'bad behavior'.

They don't care that you're obviously in the right. It always has to be their way or no way. They have to have everything under their control.

You can't wait to turn 18, to find a way to be financially independent and move out to get away from the one person you can't stand most in the world. It seems to take forever, and you know it'll take even longer to get the money to actually move out and take care of yourself.

You try a variety of different things; you try writing poems to keep yourself sane: But you always worry they'll find them.

You try confiding in friends: but THEY somehow find out and yell at you for 'talking about them behind your back'.

You try the knife: only for them to notice and simply say 'you better stop doing that or I'll *insert punishment here* ' and leave it at that.

You try joining the army: only for them to say they can't let you in because of the scars on your wrists; yet they, complete strangers, still seem to care about you more than the person who caused the scars in the first place, your own family.

And then there's nothing. Nothing but death, it seems. But you don't want to go; there's still people who actually care about you; your boyfriend, your sister, your best friend, and the other friends you know would do anything for you. You can't be so selfish as to take yourself from them, to make them deal with the grief and guilt of thinking they could've done something, anything, to save you.

So you're stuck. Stuck with no options but to continue on and hope you see the light, though your heart and mind tell you it will never happen.

You just keep moving forward while your chains pull you back.