Yoon

I was biting my lower lip until it was already bleeds and stared at the unconscious boy in front of me wearing the oxygen thing, I don't know what it call. My fingers kept on fiddling with each other that it almost scratch my skin as I get very anxious from time to time.

Soon, I felt a pat on my shoulder but I didn't bother about it. I kept staring at him blankly, chewing my lower lip that had been damaged.

"Yoon-ah."

I heard a female voice but still, I didn't give her any responses. My heartbeat was unusual. My feet were stiffed in fear about what'll happen next. A warm hands then hold my hands that were trembling and scratching the skin that it tore up. Immediately, it stopped.

"Stop worrying. He'll be fine."

Fine? Fine? Fine? Is he really fine? The word fine was just an empty word to me right now. How is he fine when all I saw in front of me is a dying body with wires all over it. Fine? That's just a bullshit. Nothing is fine right now.

I shut my eyes and lower down my head. I can't think of anything. All I can feel is scared. Nothing more than that. All of this bullshit... when will it end? How much more people do I have to lose? Mom, hyung, dad, who is barely I'm losing and now him, that person that was so precious in my life?

"It's okay, Yoon. The doctor said-"

"If I didn't push him, he won't be like this."

I mutters under my breath. I didn't dare to open my eyes nor look up to the sick person in front of me. It's a painful sight to see. I feel a light massage on my left shoulder.

"It was just a minor injury. It's okay."

"It's okay because it's my fault."

I decided to look up to the woman beside me with an empty emotion as I took away my hands from hers.

"Now that I realized, I'm the reason why people around me is leaving."

I said. Yeah, it's true. Mom's dead because she gave birth of me. Hyung's dead because he was trying to save me from an accident. And now, Jungkook's dying because I was too harsh to him.

I look at my hands that were so pale because I was in fear and it was still trembling. I clenched it into a fist that my nails dig in my skin.

"Maybe I shouldn't have born in this world."

"What the hell are you saying?!"

I heard a loud voice yelled at me from the door as I weakly look at the person. Ahn Solji. She stomped her feet to me and clutch onto my collar, pulling me up. She was already fuming in anger as she stared at me.

"Yah! What did you said again?! You shouldn't have born in this world?!"

She yelled. All I can do is stare at her eyes blankly and let her do whatever she wants to me.

"Yah, yah. Ahn Solji. Calm down. It's hospital."

I heard Yoongi's voice echoed in the quiet ward as he tried to pull Solji away from me. I can't react to her. I think I don't deserve to do that either. Solji pushed him away and back to me.

"What will Jungkook do if you're not in this world?! Yah! You crazy bitch, listen to me! This guy, laying on this fucking bed is hurting not because of you. If it's not because of you, I bet he's now in the coffin! Do you understand me?!"

I felt my knees wobbled as she yelled in front of my face. Mrs Jeon then pulled her away from me and calm her down as I fell on my butt on the chair weakly. I think I'm crazy. I can't feel anything. I heard a sobbing in front of me and I know it's Solji's. I lowered down my head, staring at my cold trembling and pale hands blankly.

"How can you be so weak like this? Why are you like this? This is not you, Yoon. Pull yourself together."

She cried. I want to cry but the tears won't come out. I think I've fond of holding back every emotions and that I can't feel anything right on this time.

"Yoon."

I felt a warm hand reached out to my hands. It was a familiar warmth. Min Yoongi. I heard him sighing before he speak up.

"Please don't be like this. If you ever think that all of this is all your fault, remember that Jungkook's life is you. If you're weak, what will happen to him?"

"He had a brain cancer stage 2. What can I do now? He's dying and I can't even do anything for him."

I felt the grip on my hands loosen and Solji's sobbing stopped. I didn't know what happened.

"B-Brain c-c-cancer?"

Yoongi stammered. I look away from my hands and glance at Jungkook for awhile.

"What can I do when he left me?"

I muttered. The scan were beeping showing that he's stable but I can't seem to believe that fucking scan.

Please. Please don't leave me, Jeon Jungkook.

That's was what I kept saying in my mind every single day from the day I know his disease. I kept praying to God not to take him away from me because he's the only one that I had after my dad.

I heard a weak footsteps coming towards me but I kept staring at his weak body while praying to God.

"You must be kidding me, Kim Yoon."

I heard Solji's voice spoke. I then look at her with an empty gaze as her eyes welled up with tears, staring intensely to me.

"Is dying a joke to you?"

I mutters before I avert my eyes to Jungkook. His chest were heaving up and down, breathing the oxygen drunkenly. His eyes were tightly shut and his face was so pale. It feels like he was not Jungkook but another person who's masquerading as him.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Yoongi's voice greet my ears after awhile of silence. I reach out Jungkook's hand and it was cold.

"Because I don't think you should suffer with me, worrying about him."

I made an invisible circle on his skin. Both of our skin were pale and cold. I don't know why but his hand were colder than me. I sighed.

"We're friends. You shouldn't suffer alone, Yoon."

"I'm not a good friend. If I am, I won't pushed him down the bed just now."

"Yoon-ah, it was an accident. He's okay as you see, right? Don't worry. I'm his mother but I don't really worried about him. See?"

I look at her and she was just smiling innocently. Maybe I shouldn't worrying much. Solji pat my shoulder gently.

"He'll be okay."

She said. I fake a smile to them and avert to Jungkook.

Jungkook-ah, wake up if you feel bad because you made me worried.

I was wishing him to at least open his eyes and pull off a weak smile to me because at least, I'll feel relieved if he did. Just to know that he's okay.

Solji

After an hour staying at the hospital, accompanying Yoon, I decided to went back home. Yoongi was still in the hospital to take care of his mother. I did visited her just now for awhile then left.

I was walking down on the sidewalk as the cars kept rushing around here and there since it was Sunday so some of them take their time to hang out. I was a halfway from my house when I heard my phone rang. I took it out from my pocket and glance the caller ID.

Mom

I sighed a bit before I could answer her call. I place the phone on my ear as soon as I accepted it.

"Yes, mother."

["Solji-ah, where are you?"]

"On my way back home. Why?"

["Come back fast. I have something to talk to you."]

I sighed once again and look around. This time I feel like wandering around the streets and eat a lot of foods because I don't want to know anything about what my mom would say to me at home but I had no choice but to agreed.

"Okay then. I'll come back faster."

She then hung up the call without even saying take care of yourself or be careful on streets nor some shit. I rolled my eyes and shove the phone back to my pocket.

It was a huge mistake to agreed with her.

I fasten my steps to my home even though I'm not really interested with anything to do with my mom. I think it's important that she need to talk to me.

Soon, I've arrived at my home. I was about to unlock my gate but my neighbor saw me and greet me.

"Oh, Solji-ah!"

I tilted my head and it was the next door ahjumma. What does she want more? I rolled my eyes in annoyance. It's not that I'm rude but she's always badmouthing my mom and that got me no chill. I fake a smile to her.

"Oh, yes, ahjumma. Is there anything happened?"

"Ah, it's nothing. I've never seen you a long time so I just greeted you."

Tch, since when did she become friendly to me? I secretly cursed her in my head.

"Um, ahjumma. I'm sorry but I can't be long. I'll talk to you next time. Bye."

I said as I quickly made my escape from her. She blankly stare at me rushing toward my house and disappeared into the big gate. I breathe out a relieve breath and peek outside to see her.

"Ms Solji? What are you doing there?"

I was startled a bit and I turn around. It's my driver. I formed an awkward smile to him and bowed politely to him.

"Is my mom inside?"

"Yeah. She's waiting for you."

I look up to my mother's room window on the main room then back to him.

"Okay then. I'll go first."

"Um, Ms Solji."

He called me. I turn back to him and anticipating his next sentence.

"She doesn't look happy though."

I sighed. I felt my heart was beating so fast. Ah, it's nerve wrecking! I purse my lips and nod to him.

"Mom is always like that after all. I'll see you later, ahjussi."

I said left to the house. The house was as usual, empty and gloomy. I look around and sighed for a little bit. Why can't we just stay in smaller house though? It's only 2 of us after all.

I shook my head slightly and went upstairs to my mother's room. It really make me feel nervous for some reason as I reached in front of her door. I knocked.

"Come in."

I heard a faint voice inside so I entered the room and shut the door behind me. My mom was looking through some files. Well, she had an office in her room though. When she saw me, she took off her spectacle and place it on the table before getting up and leaned on the table.

"What is it that you want to talk about?"

I asked, in a not-interested tone. She sighed at me and crossed her arms, examined me from up to down.

"I'm pairing you with the Park Group's son."

My heart just stop beating for awhile. I felt anger fuming inside me. This can't be real. I clenched my fist.

"But mom! You know I'm dating Yoongi and why are you doing this?!"

"Just for a day. It's was all plainly about-"

"Bussiness?! Just because of that fucking business, you're trying to sell me out to a stranger?!"

I yelled in anger. My mom stood up straight. I can't stand this already. She almost ruin my life but I'm not gonna let her ruin it completely.

"Just for a day, Solji. All you need is to accompany him and that's all."

I let out a sarcastic chuckle to her. My blood boils even more to hear those words coming from my own mother.

"One day to accompany him? Am I a slut to you? Am I an one night stand that I have to accompany him?!"

And all I got is a tight slap from her. My head abruptly tilted to the other side. I touched my cheek that were already red from the slap as I look at her. She doesn't look like she was guilty at all. I think she thought of me as a slut and not her daughter.

"Don't be rude, Ahn Solji. Just for a day and you're done. You're gonna do it no matter what."

My eyes welled up with tears. She then casually settled herself on the chair and back to looking at the files. I clenched my fist.

"So it's true that I'm just a slut in your eyes."

To Be Continued

aye, what is this?