"again tink replied... 'you silly ass', peter could not understand why..."

~

  i think about your arms around me or your voice on the other end of the telephone, and sometimes it feels like it was just a dream. your lips parted, leaning in just for me. the way you'd pull me to your bed as if i wouldn't go willingly. as if my feet were afraid. as if my heart were underneath them.

"what nonsense you talk, precious, no one can get into the house without knocking,"
"i think he comes in by the window," she said.
"my love, it is three floors up,"
...oh, surely she must have been dreaming.

there's no way someone like you would ever be meant for me. it feels like such a waste. you're wasted on me. the star under the spotlight with shining on two tears rolling down your cheeks- i originally typed years. maybe that fits better. for better or for worse- for how about i'm not even worth it..

and so wendy, who always liked to do the correct thing, asked peter how old he was. it was not really a happy question to ask him; it was like an examination paper that asks grammar, when what you want to be asked is kings of england.

i've learned a lot of things i could have lived a happier life not knowing, and met people where i could be smiling right now had i never met them. sometimes it's cool to know everyone's little secrets they hope you don't know, othertimes i just want to be me and be left be. i heart revenge but you know what i heart more? trust. i've learned you find friends in the weirdest of situations too, people you never thought would take your side. but that's what you get for judging a book by it's review.

he frowned, "i am back," he said hotly, "why do you not cheer?"

home at last. step into the airport with weary feet and out of the lies. we only lie when we're in hot water and this time it's boiling over.

wendy was pained too to find that the past year was but as yesterday was to peter; it had seemed such a long year of waiting to her. but he was exactly as fascinating as ever.

you would think the more opposition you get the weaker you become, the quicker you are apt to bow out gracefully. beat you down until you are nothing but ashes and maybe memories in the back of a few people who matter's minds. but not in this case. for some reason, the more people talking shit gives me more strength to stay how i am right now and not change. to do what i do that you hate. to follow my heart as it leads me left, right or wrong.

it's just not me. i'm not one to give up. people mock my spelling and my grammar on my journals and i don't stop writing in them, i start more. i started the blogspot. now i mock the importance of grammar to some people. really. what does it matter? being told not to stop by one person has the weight of 20 people telling you to cave in. and luckily the odds are reversed anyhow. i'm in control always. i have to be.

he tried to argue with tink, "you know you can't be my fairy, tink, because i am a gentleman and you are a lady," to this tink replied in these words,
"you silly ass," and disappeared into the bathroom.

time off. time to record. time to rewind. time to unwind. time to relax and do all the hard work during the last week hehe. the band is together as a band and i love them because when we're out on the road they are all that i have. and sometimes back at home they are still all i have. whoooa, this update for real doesn't make sense, i'm going on jetlag and a caffiene headache. love me anyway.

they began the verse, but they never finished it.

leave no hearts (or stomachs) unturned,
peterpan

pee es- i love you little songbird.