"Missing you comes in waves, tonight I'm drowning."

(Don't kill me 2.0)

Skylar Jones
Chapter 36

As soon as Cameron left, I couldn't continue staying in that school as everyone stared at me so I went home.

Not that it made things better, my stomach felt heavy as it made me nauseous, a dark loneliness formed inside of me and I couldn't stop thinking of how damaged Cameron his face looked the moment he found out; his face turned into pure hurt and that was because of me. His saddened brown eyes became darker from the depressive tears that formed into his eyes and I saw the with loud red thunderstorms making their arrival, scaring everyone away.

I made it all fall apart.

I knew he didn't want me to see him cry or even with those tears in his eyes; but I still saw them glistening. Cameron build these strong and high walls for so long, I was happy that he made an exception to let me through them, but in the end I was the reason that they were crashing down as the inside of him broke along with it. And everything seemed to repeat in my mind, over and over again.

In my head the clouds turned darker as the rain poured out of the skies like waterfalls, creating some sort of sadness. All the stars were fading away into the background. Our bright colors turned into black and white. The flowers grew into its sorrow as their broken dark petals curled up on the ground; you could feel the hurt coming off of them like a crossfire.

Or how my heartstrings got torn apart from the memories, they showed theirselves like a movie in your head, a scary and sad one. You could feel each and every raindrop hitting your ice cold skin. A strong lump of loneliness and depression, waved itself around my heart.

Everything was one huge blur to me, which made me wonder if I was still alive. Emptiness had been consuming my body, making me a dangerous person in the progress. It made you do anything without giving a damn about the world.

After all this time I finally had that small little light on my path, showing me where to go. Now that was on the edge of fading away, leaving me alone and abandoned. I couldn't find my way out anymore, my path turned pitch black along the way and there weren't any lights in my life anymore to help me from my misery.

And that was all my fault.

I missed the beautiful boy. How his chocolate brown eyes twinkled whenever he laughed or how lovingly he looked at me. And that silky brown hair that I always wanted to play with. Or how I could hear his low laugh in my head, having the power to make everyone else happy. He had this warm aura around him and every time he wrapped his arms around me, I never wanted him to let me go of me again.

Heck, I even missed those sexual jokes of his.

I never thought I could feel so many good yet bad things, I guess that's what happened when you loved someone and you screwed it up.

The doorbell made me jump up, I rushed downstairs as I hoped that it would be Cameron standing at my doorstep to talk. But I knew how slight that chance was. Once I reached the door, I opened it.

"J-Jake?" I stuttered, seeing the blonde haired boy with his usually happy blue eyes standing in front of me.

But this time his eyes didn't stood very happy anymore. They screamed like a fire and darkened once he saw me.

I knew what this was about.

"Look, I don't know what the hell you did to Cam but you better make this right!" He growled low, crossing his arms.

"I- it wasn't fully my fault? I mean Shane and.." I got more anxious and even scared when he glared at me as if he wanted to kill me.

Which I completely understand, I should've never agreed to that deal.

Just back in that moment I didn't think everything would turn out this way. Cam made me angry and jealous when he kissed some random girl, he was a huge prick to me especially when we got paired up for that assignment and I didn't think it would hurt.

And now I actually got the boy of my dreams, but silly me couldn't even be honest to him. He slowly opened up to me and I ruined that for him. Maybe it wouldn't have turned out this way if I just told him in all honesty what was happening.

Because hanging out with him may have started as a plan to hurt him, but the feelings that developed between the two of us, the relationship, those were always real.

Damn.. I even think that I love him.

"Not your fault? The boy doesn't even eat or drink, nor talk to me! He's all pale and damn.. Never thought you meant that much to him, but you broke him. So I suggest, you," He grabbed my shirt in his fists, facing me close as he growled low. "You set things straight with him, I don't care how, but I want the old idiot Cam back! Do you hear me?"

"Okay okay! Calm down, I'll figure something out.." I told him, looking deeply into his blue eyes to show him the guilt that had been eating from inside of me.

Luckily it seemed to work, because he let my shirt go and slowly breathed in and out.

"How can I calm down when he doesn't even want to go to our important basketball practice?" He told me.

And that's when a sudden idea popped into my head.

"But Jake.. That's it!" I yelled in excitement. "I know how to make it up to him!"

Cameron Asher, here I come.