"All of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in that time
When we called it love

But even the sun sets in paradise"

(Please don't kill me)

Cameron Asher
Chapter 35

In the depths of his blue bright eyes I saw the clear ocean; the water flowing around my feet that felt cold yet nice against my skin. As I was looking up at the skies I saw the darker parts of its color, where the little stars were giving off their brightness to my own little world. He kept that hidden within his eyes as if it was only meant for his soulmate. All I had to do was to look in his eyes to go on a roadtrip which made me visit every single calming place.

Once I locked my eyes with his, everything around me slowed down and faded away in the background as well as any sounds. We had our own place, just him and I. He held my heart in his hand which was a risk, but I trusted him deeply. That's why our heartstrings tangled with one another; it was about deep trust and loving.

Sometimes I heard his laugh which echoed in my head once in a while like music in my head. That dear kind laugh let my heart beat faster for him as I fell harder into the path of love. The people danced to the sound of his heart as he showed his unforgettable smile to the world. I bet I wasn't the only one that enjoyed listening to him.

A smile on those lips, gave me a sickening desire to kiss them. The loud beatings of my heart gave away that he indeed had an effect on me. I tried to fight it, but I guess the heart wants what it wants. And oh, my heart wanted that boy so bad.

One simple touch from him made me addictive; to the tingles that spread over my body and the warmth that wrapped its way around my heart. He gave me an excitement, a thrill to life. I never wanted this to end as I stayed up late at night, thinking about him. Every single touch of his was as electric as usual, gave me a warmth that I didn't know I needed and it made me addicted; addicted to him.

The strands of his natural platinum blonde hair always gave me the urge to rake my hands through them; to make him feel comfortable and safe in my presence. Or how I wanted to caresses his soft and adorable pale face. He had a small nose and pink full lips, it made him my Skylar.

I.. I love him.

And at that exact moment the bell finally rang. My head was the entire time clouded with thoughts of Skylar, it almost drove me insane.

I collected my stuff and rushed back towards the hallways. I was excited to see my boyfriend again and tease the boy just like I did an hour ago. We might be going out tonight, maybe some dick drawing.

Hehe.

Should I tell him? That I felt more than just 'liking' him?

The moment I arrived at Skylar's locker I frowned when I saw both him and Shane standing there.

I hated that boy's guts.

He always wanted to take revenge on me, just because I didn't like him in a romantic way. He tried to ruined everything in my life and I swear if he touches Skylar with even one finger,

I'll end the son of a bitch.

"I don't have the time anymore Skylar, either you break him or I do it myself" Shane said as he growled low.

Break who? What the hell are they talking about?

"I can't Shane! Can't you see that? We are happy, he would be crushed if you continue doing this!" Skylar told him.

That's when I decided to interrupt their conversation.

"Continue doing what?" I asked, walking up to them and looking at them with a frown.

I smiled a bit at my boyfriend and looked curious at him. "Sky? What is going on babe? I thought I told you to stay away from that guy" I told him and grabbed his hand to protect him from Shane.

"Nothing! I-"

"Okay if you won't do it, I will" Shane interrupted him and glared in a nasty way at Skylar which made something inside of me snap.

"Hey! Don't be so rude towards my boyfriend!" I crossed my arms and took a step closer to him, challenging him.

I wasn't afraid of beating him if it meant protecting my boy.

"Your boyfriend? Oh please, he is nothing but your boyfriend! You've been so stupid and naive Cameron. You should know what he's been doing behind your back, pretty cruel actually" He told me, smirking at me and making me more angry when he called me at my full name.

"What? Sky? What is he talking about?" I asked and looked at him, but Skylar looked so pale as if he had seen a ghost.

"Shane, don't, please" Skylar started to beg.

What the hell are they even talking about? It started to get me on my nerves, what if it was something bad?

"Your little perfect boyfriend here made a deal with me, from the very beginning, I told him to lead you on. He should make you his boyfriend and then break up with you, break you into pieces. Your whole relationship was a joke, Skylar here wanted to hurt you just as bad as I did. Congratulations Cameron, on coming out as gay and ending alone like you always do" Shane told me and walked away, laughing loudly when a crowd of people formed around Skylar and I.

My mind went blank as I tried to cope with what he just told me.

All of a sudden breathing seemed to get harder and harder for me and before I knew it, I took his soft and mint smelling sweater into my fists while I desperately looked at him.

Please don't let it be true, please.

"You.. Did what..?" Came out as a soft whisper.

You could certainly hear my voice cracking, but right now I couldn't care less about that.

Tears slowly started to form in my eyes which I blinked away as soon as I could, nobody would see me cry. I looked at Skylar while shaking my head in nothing but denial.

He couldn't have done this. He certainly wasn't like this. I knew Skylar, why would he do this? I risked everything and everyone for him. I thought that he was the right person for me. I thought that I finally found him, the one for me.

But oh boy, what was I wrong.

"C-Cam, it's n-not what i-it looks l-like" He said as a tear slowly left the corner of his eye.

Denial, that was the only thing that kept me from falling apart and tearing down. He liked me, maybe even loved me, he couldn't do this to me just like I couldn't do this to him.

Right?

I couldn't feel anything anymore, I became numb. It was like his words made everything permanently stop around me. The happy bubble I was in, broke. And when I thought more about this, it felt like I could break down at any minute from now on.

That was the effect he had. That was the power that only Skylar had over me and he knew that all too well. Or else he wouldn't have used this against me..

And after a while everything did stop around me. I couldn't hear anything anymore, I didn't hear what Skylar told me. The only thing that I could hear was my own furious heart beat that became louder and louder in my own ears. I didn't see anyone moving as if everything slowed down for a moment.

"No, n-n-n-no you don't mean that! You wouldn't do that to me, not after everything.." I laughed loud and emotionless as if everything was one big joke to me, still in the same denial phase.

I kept shaking with my head as I tried to convince myself that it wasn't true. How could he do this to me? To us? How could he actually let it come this far? I never thought he could ever do this, that he had this in him,

But like my own words fired back at me, appearances are deceptive. Only at this very moment I didn't think it was so beautiful.

If one of us would screw anything up between us then it should have been me, but no. It was him instead.

And then, like switching a lamp on, my denial suddenly took a turn towards total aggression.

"How could you!" I screamed while I held back my tears and my grip on his sweater had suddenly gotten tighter, pulling him closer to me.

I didn't care that other people could hear me anymore. The only thing that I did was focusing myself on the good moments. Our first kiss, our dates, our crazy teasing and the tasks. Every moment when he just lied straight to my face and that was just too much for me to handle.

Because I was the only one who fell.

Now don't you cry like the little loser you are Cam, you may've lost everything, but you're still Cameron Asher.

I didn't want to tolerate myself crying in front of him. I tried everything in my power not to give in. He may have played and betrayed me, but this was the only thing that I could keep to myself, locked away from him. I will never give him a fully chance to embarrass me in front of the entire school even though he already did that by now. This was the only thing that he wouldn't get from me. He would never see how much this got to me and how much this really affected me in ways in couldn't describe to you nor myself.

Don't cry Cameron, you fucking loser.

He didn't need to know that I could break down at any minute, but then again I already knew that he could figure this out on his own. He was smart enough for that.

From the very first day that we ran into each other, I should've just beat him up. If it wasn't for me being nice back then, this would've never happened. I let his stupid light and shiny ocean eyes play with me.

He was just another person I let into my heart and made him break me. Just like the others did.

"Cameron, p-plea-"

"Don't! Don't you even dare to call me that! I gave you everything, I literally gave everything up for you! My reputation, my future, my past and even Nina. What the hell do you want more?!" I yelled angry while I shook him by his shoulders with every word that left my mouth, hoping this would get through this thick skull.

Don't you cry Cameron.

The view of his face with so many tears would normally hurt me and it did. Yet, the anger took the best of me and I only saw this huge black hole consuming my actions over my feelings.

With so much hope I thought that this all could be one big joke. I kept looking at him, hoping he would just tell me that this indeed was a horrible joke so I could tackle the bastard to the ground, hugging the hell out of him, taking in his sent, telling him how much I actually cared about him.

Telling how much I started to love him.

But even the most hopeful people knew that this wasn't the case at all.

So with all the strength that I had left, I wanted to kick, smash and just ruin him.

Just as bad as he ruined me in that certain moment.

But instead walked away from him and I gave up.