Chapter Thirty-Six: Sad Clouds, Stolen Kisses and.... A Survivor?

Even the sky felt the sadness as ten people stood around the tiny make-shift coffin they had lowered into the freshly dug hole in the ground. The clouds could not hold back their tears and rain was soon pouring down, soaking the grievers as they stared down into that hole and at the wooden crate that held Grace.

There was nothing fair about this moment. Nothing right. Katherine did not want to question God but why would an all-powerful being who claimed to love humanity, take away such a new and innocent life?

She glanced over at Ox and saw the tear hovering on his lashes. Her hand reached out and clasped his and he squeezed it tight before sniffing and clearing his throat. Ox was a different man than Katherine had ever known. He had a very sensitive soul and he seemed to genuinely care about everyone he met and love them as if they were his own family. Grace's sickness and now her death were taking a toll on him.

"Lord, we won't question your ways and we understand that you only call the best of us home early." Jedidiah stated as he bowed his head and folded his hands in front of him. Katherine glanced around. Ox was also bowing his head in prayer, as were Rachel, Evangeline and Colt. Frankie was biting furiously at her lip and glaring down at the grave while Comanche simply stood there staring out over the horizon. Katherine had no idea what the indian believed in... they didn't believe in God did they?

Silas was crouched down, tears streaming down his cheeks as he covered his head with his hands and Charlotte stood beside him, her shoulders back but her face full of pain as she looked down into the hole that was her daughters resting place.

Katherine closed her eyes and bowed her own head, feeling her own heart breaking for Charlotte and Silas.

"We may not understand why we had to lose such an innocent and sweet soul as Grace but our children are only ever borrowed from you, Lord, for they are truly your children. Now she is in a better place and will no longer have to see the horrors of this new world." Jedidiah stopped speaking and looked around the group. "Would anyone else care to say a few words?"

"I would." Charlotte whispered, everyone's heads whipped up to look at her, except for Silas who seemed completely lost in his grief. "I want to thank all of you for loving and caring for my daughter the way that you did. Grace would not have known that kind of love in the old world so at least this new world gave her a life full of love, even if it was a short life."

Once again silence fell over everyone and Katherine blinked away the rain falling in her eyes.

"We should all retire back to the train..." Jedidiah urged.

"I'll stay behind." Ox whispered down to Katherine. "To help cover the body."

"I should go in and help cook a meal. I'm sure Frankie will be grateful for the help." Ox nodded and Katherine, Frankie, Comanche, Rachel and Jedidiah all made their way back to the train. Katherine felt the hurt in her heart intensify when Silas cried out with anger and sadness at the sight of Colt grabbing a shovel to cover the box and fill the hole.

"Don't you dare cover her yet!" Silas bellowed and Colt lowered his head and took a step back as Charlotte crouched beside Silas and tried to comfort him. Katherine and Ox's eyes met and he swallowed hard. Katherine was glad that she was getting away..... There was too much pain in the air around that tiny hole.

***

Colt was growing uneasy. The longer they sat here in the rain the greater the chance that someone else would fall ill. He wanted to be away from the tears and the pain and lock himself back up in the engine car, hopefully with Evangeline by his side.

He glanced down at her and saw the tears running down her cheeks and mixing with the raindrops. Ox was holding her hand and Colt was surprised to see the big man was fighting back tears as well. He had already known that Evangeline had a big heart and it seemed the trait ran in the family.

Colt couldn't hear what Charlotte was whispering to Silas but finally the man rose to his feet and swiped his hand over his face while he nodded. Colt stepped toward Silas, knowing he had to say something yet unsure how he'd find the strength to. Evangeline was suddenly at his side, her tiny hand slipping into his palm and Colt took a deep breath.

"Silas, Charlotte, I want you both to know how sorry I am about your loss, even though I know me saying that doesn't make you feel a damn bit better." He began and he nearly lost his resolve and took off running like a coward when both of them turned their sad gazes to him, their tear filled eyes looking into his. "I..uh.. I ain't much of a talker but I'm a fair listener so if you ever need to talk then I can listen. I want you to know that I know the exact pain you feel right now. The feeling of failure, anger, hurt and agony. Feelin' like you had your heart ripped clean outta your chest and it's been tossed down in that hole.... I wish I could tell you that it goes away—and maybe it does given time—all I can say for sure is that you get used to it and you adapt. At least you have each other, don't forget that."

"Thank you, Colt." Charlotte whispered and Colt nodded.

"Now why don't you all go on up with Evangeline and get out of the rain. Ox and I will finish up here and we'll take good care of her."

Colt watched as Charlotte wrapped her arm around Silas and led the man back toward the train. Damn but women were strong. Honestly Colt had no idea how they did it.

"Are you sure you don't need me to stay out here with you?" Evangeline asked quietly and Colt nodded, brushing her wet hair from her face.

"I'm sure, Evangeline. The last thing in this world I want is for you to get sick out here in this rain with me. I don't reckon I could stand something like that happening."

She flashed him a sad little smile and he gripped her upper arms as she rose on her toes and kissed his jaw. Colt knew his fingers dug into her skin but he couldn't help himself. The heat from her lips caressing him damn near had the rain drops turning to steam as they fell against him.

"Are you okay Ox?" Evangeline asked, moving away from Colt and turning her attention to her brother.

"Yeah, Evie, I'm alright." Evangeline rose on her toes and Ox stooped so she could kiss his cheek as well before Evangeline walked off to the train, quickly catching up with Silas and Charlotte.

Colt sighed and picked up the two shovels, handing one to Ox. "Let's get this over with." Colt mumbled.

In silence the two men filled the hole with dirt, the mud thumping hollowly against the wooden box.

"I want to talk to you about something, Colt, but I don't think now's probably the best time." Ox admitted after a long while of quiet.

"No time like the present, Ox. What do you want to say?"

"Well it's about you and my sister." Ox replied.

Colt stopped for a moment and leaned against the shovel, wiping his wet shirt sleeve across his rain slicked head. "What about Evangeline and me?"

"Well," Ox paused as well and rubbed at his neck. "What are your intentions toward my sister?"

"Intentions?" Colt questioned with disbelief. "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"I mean—well—I realize you have been spending a lot of time alone together."

"Yep." Colt replied.

"Well... do you love her?" Ox asked. Colt grunted and went back to filling in the hole.

He was quiet for several long minutes and could feel Ox's eyes watching him closely. Finally he looked over his shoulder at the other man and met his eyes. "I'm not ready to answer that yet."

He could tell Ox wanted to say more and Colt decided to turn the tides on the man. "What about you and Katherine?"

"What about us?" Ox replied, his cheeks flushing as he quickly got back to work.

"Katherine is a friend—you could even say she is like a sister—and I'd like to know what your intentions are toward her? You've been spending a lot of time alone together."

"Shit...." Ox mumbled with a nervous laugh. "Okay, I won't poke my nose in no more."

"Good." Colt stated and the two men got busy finishing up their morbid task.

***

The next morning proved to be a sharp contrast to the day before as it dawned brightly. Evangeline made her way through the dining car and kitchen to find them both empty. She slipped into the engine car, expecting to find Colt there and was surprised to see Comanche and Frankie instead.

And boy did she see them! Evangeline's eyes instantly squeezed closed as she squeaked and all but ran out of the room. Had they no shame?! They were making love right there in the engine car! Evangeline didn't know if they'd seen her or not and she wasn't about to stick around to find out.

Evangeline all but ran back to the passenger car, unsure how she would ever look Frankie or Comanche in the eye again. She was paying no attention to the doors she ran past and nearly let out a scream when a hand closed around her arm and pulled her in through an open one.

Her eyes widened as she looked up at Colt, who appeared concerned. "Evangeline, what the hell are you running around here for?"

"Exercise." Evangeline replied, her cheeks flaming bright with embarrassment. "It is quite good for you."

Colt's concerned expression transformed into one of amusement as his brow rose. "So is the truth." He shrugged. "Or so I hear. A hardened criminal such as myself has no experience with such things."

Evangeline's blush only deepened as she tried hard not to picture the way Frankie had been wrapped around Comanche's lap with her head thrown back. "It is nothing, Colt, I was just going back to my room."

"Uh-uh." Colt crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. Evangeline looked down at his narrow bed, realizing the sheets and blankets were still tangled and she could see the indention from his head on the pillow. A strange and delicious heat filled her body. "And just where were you going back to your room from?"

"The engine car." Evangeline squeaked, tugging on her skirt and refusing to look at him.

"And why did you go there?"

"I was... I was looking for you."

"Me?"

"Yes." Evangeline snapped. "I've grown rather attached to your criminally hardened backside."

"Well thank you, ma'am." Colt teased with a grin. "I've grown rather attached to your pampered backside as well." Evangeline felt her heart flutter at his words. "But that still doesn't answer my question."

"And what question was that?" Evangeline replied, feigning ignorance.

Colt was the picture of patience as he leaned there against the wall and smiled at her. "Why were you running through here like a bat out of hell?"

"I wasn't running." Evangeline lied. "And if I ever did run I would certainly not look like a bat out of..... the bad place.. as I did so."

Colt laughed loudly, gripping his stomach and squinting at her. "The bad place?!" he gasped. "Damn woman you are something else."

"Don't have your laughs at my expense." Evangeline scolded, though the smile tugging on her lips harmed her argument.

"I apologize, ma'am." Colt replied, not looking the least bit sorry. "You gonna tell me why you running quite elegantly through the train then?"

"You were not in the engine car so I was returning to my room."

"Frankie and Comanche had driving duty last." Colt replied, appearing thoughtful.

"Yes, I am aware of that now." Evangeline informed him, her face reddening once again. A knowing light appeared in Colt's eyes.

"You and Katherine are supposed to be getting breakfast around. I'm sure Comanche and Frankie are hungry after being up most of the night."

"Oh I don't think that they are giving any thoughts to their stomachs just now."

Colt laughed once again and while Evangeline was mortified that he now knew just what she had seen this morning, she was also feeling more than a little excited to hear his laughter. It was a good sound. A deep, lighthearted and happy sound and it was certainly a sound that she had never thought she would hear come from Colt who only a few short weeks ago had seemed so far down in a depression that he would never come out.

It appeared time truly could heal all wounds.

"So that's what has you so flustered."

"I am not accustomed to walking in on something like that." Evangeline stated defensively even as she focused on the frayed string hanging off her skirt.

She was so focused on that string that she didn't notice Colt moving toward her until the man's calloused hand took one of her long dark curls and wrapped the soft tress gently around his finger.

"So I take that to mean you're innocent." His words were a spoken as a statement, not a question, but Evangeline treated it as a question in spite of that fact.

"Of course I am." Her lips were trembling as was every other part of her body as Colt's intense blue eyes gazed over her face.

"It's perfectly natural, Evangeline." He informed her, his breath washing over the tender skin on her throat as he stooped down and placed his mouth close to her neck.

"What is?" she managed to squeak, though she was not sure how she drew enough air to do so when every part of her body seemed to be forgetting how to function.

Colt's lips brushed against her ear and Evangeline clung to his arms, sure that her legs had disappeared beneath her. "A man and a woman."

Evangeline could only moan in response as Colt's lips caressed her ear and his teeth grazed against the hollow just below on her neck. "When a man and woman are attracted to one another, their bodies crave to be joined."

Evangeline's entire body was on fire. Those tingles that she had always craved to feel were currently coursing through her blood like living breathing creatures. Colt's hand fell on her waist and his mouth continued to taste her throat.

Quite suddenly, Evangeline pulled away from him. Her breaths were ragged and her hands were shaking as she smoothed out the front of her blouse.

"What of love?" she managed to whisper.

Colt's passion clouded eyes met hers and he shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

"Love, Colt. Should not love be something included in what goes on between a man and a woman?"

"Evangeline, don't do this." Colt begged, his voice still thick with longing.

"Do what?" Evangeline asked. "I am a lady, Colt."

"I am aware of that.' Colt replied, his deep voice causing her legs to tremble.

"I want love, Colt, and I will not settle for less."

Colt took a few large steps away from her and threw his head back in frustration as he rubbed his hands over it roughly. "I had a similar discussion with your brother just yesterday."

"Ox?" Evangeline frowned. "What did you say to him?"

"That I'm not ready to speak on that particular emotion or word just now."

Evangeline nodded even as tears gathered in her eyes and she blinked them back. "Then I am not ready to further investigate what goes on between a man and a woman."

Colt sighed as he grabbed his hat off the bed and plopped it onto his head. "Then I guess you can get the hell on outta my room now."

"Colt, don't do this...." Evangeline begged. She was so deep in love with this man that her heart would shatter if he suddenly pushed her away. She wanted to be with him but she would not give him her body without some vow of love and commitment. Was that so wrong of her to want?

"Do what, Evangeline? I want sex and you don't so I'm doing the honorable thing and having you leave my bedroom. A lady would never be alone with a man in a bedroom."

Evangeline winced at hearing the word sex spoken so harshly. She didn't want to have sex with Colt, she wanted to make love to him She wasn't well versed in nighttime encounters but she knew very well that there was a difference.

"It's not that I don't want you, Colt, because I do..." Evangeline replied, her voice shaking nearly as much as her hands. "I only want...."

"Love? Marriage?" Colt demanded and Evangeline nodded slowly.

Suddenly Colt was laughing again, but it was a dull and hollow sound and Evangeline hated it. He sat down on the edge of the bed and buried his face in his hands.

"Get out, Evangeline."

Evangeline shook her head, though he couldn't see the gesture with his face covered as it was. "No, Colt."

"Yes." He ordered harshly.

Evangeline's heart broke for him and suddenly she felt stupid. Guilty, stupid, immature and ridiculous. The man had just lost his wife and child only a few short months ago and here she was being the rich pampered Gilcrest daughter and demanding love and marriage from him. What was wrong with her?

"No, I won't leave like this."

"Evangeline...." He began sharply but then a throat cleared behind them.

"Sorry for interrupting." Comanche's voice stated apologetically and Evangeline turned quickly but did not look at the indian's face. She couldn't just yet, not after what she'd walked in on such a short time ago.

"You're not interrupting anything." Colt assured him as he stood up and adjusted his hat. Evangeline shook her head.

"Give us a moment." She insisted and then shut the door in Comanche's face. She turned to Colt and the man seemed a little shocked.

"What are you doing?"

Without a word, and without giving her better judgment or her shaking body time to change her mind, Evangeline closed the short distance between them and rose on her toes, placing a tender kiss against Colt's lips.

Colt seemed stunned momentarily and then his arms snaked around her waist, encircling her in their powerful hold and pulling her body tight against his.

Evangeline had wanted to be in control of this kiss but her inexperience kept her from leading the way she would have liked and Colt quickly took over. His lips devoured hers, molding, pulling, tasting of her until Evangeline was sure the room was spinning wildly.

It took every ounce of will that Evangeline possessed to pull away from the man and break the hold of his arms.

Colt stared at her with a mixture of hunger, passion and surprise that had Evangeline feeling a bit more powerful. She had done that to him. That was a powerful thought. He blinked several times and Evangeline knew he was about to speak and would no doubt ruin the moment so she turned quickly and threw open the door.

Comanche was still standing there and she admired the effort that the man was putting into keeping a straight face. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Just fine." Evangeline replied with a nod as Colt simply stuttered several times and scratched at his arm. "Now what did you need?"

"I'm sure you've noticed that the train stopped." Comanche began and Colt went quickly to the window and pulled back the curtain.

"Sure... yeah... we'd noticed." He stated, though Evangeline knew he was lying. "Why did you stop the train?"

"Frankie and I noticed a big group of abandoned stage coaches beside the tracks. It appears they were making their way somewhere when the flesh eaters attacked them. I noticed there are still many flesh eaters in the area but I also knew those coaches could be full of supplies so I wanted to stop and discuss with you whether it was worth the risk to retrieve them."

"No." Colt shook his head. "Nobody's head is in the right place for risking our lives just for a few supplies this morning."

Comanche bowed his head with acceptance but then sighed. "You may change your mind when I tell you the next bit."

"You should have just told me all the bits to start with." Colt growled and Evangeline couldn't help but laugh lightly, though she tried her best to hide it behind her hand.

"Frankie is sure she saw a person in one of the stage coach windows. A living person."

"A survivor?" Evangeline gasped and Comanche nodded.

"Well that changes things." Colt stated simply and he strode past them both and out of the room, bellowing as he strode down the train car. "Wake up everybody! We got rabid and possible survivors and we're having a meeting in the dining car!"