Melanie Martinez – Carousel

https://youtu.be/tXrNUxIkGBk

It's Thursday today...time passed so fast. Tomorrow it's already Friday. I actually enjoy studying. With Ted and Harry, I have only joint history classes. I rest during the other lectures and try not to communicate with them every time when they attempt to bother me with their jokes. I have learned to ignore them, because of Jess.

All these days she was talking about Brian, about how kind and cheerful he is. My friend looks happy, so all what I was left to do is to keep my mouth shut and be happy about her. I met with Michael after the lecture. He invited me on a date on Friday, so I won't have to spend time with Jess's new company. I was happy that I won't have to stick with her new friends. Of course, I can lock up in my room, but something tells me that they won't leave me alone so easily.

"Jess, tomorrow I'm going on a date with Michael, so our apartment will be all yours," I decided to inform my friend about a date with Michael.

"I knew it! You're doing it on purpose, right?" she asked me, bugging her gray eyes out. Jess got really mad; I didn't expect her to react this way.

"No, I just want to spend time with my boyfriend..." I replied, staring at my plate.

It is true, I really miss Michael. This week we haven't practically met.

I wished to move to Stanford as soon as possible and spend more time with my boyfriend. However, even though we live nearby, we are still far away from each other. It is easy when I am with him; we have been dating for two years already. My parents like Michael too. Moreover, our fathers are companions. We met with him on a charity event, which was organized by my mother.

"Emily, so you...want, well, you know switch to a new level?" Jess asked giggling and looked askance at me.

Because of her indiscreet question, I choked on my food and she continued to giggle.

"Jess, what got into you? Because of you I almost choked!" I began.

My cheeks flushed and I stared at my plate. I was pretending that I keep having a dinner, without looking up.

"What? Don't tell me that our good boy Michael finally decided to do it? It's a high time. I was beginning to think that he's gay..." Jess couldn't calm down.

In response, I kicked her under the table, but she didn't stop laughing.

"We just needed some time, and yes, Michael is 'a good boy'," I replied, pointing with fingers imaginary quotes.

Of course, we kissed and even slept in the same bed, but there was no sex. Jess was still giggling and I kicked her again.

"Emily, enough, it hurts," the girl was gurgling with laughter and fighting back.

If my cheeks were red because of embarrassment, hers were red from laughter. Recently, I felt myself like a jester or a clown. People laugh at me every now and then, although I don't even make any effort to amuse them.

"Okay, but still. This date may end supposedly with that?" Jess asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Maybe..." I replied and got up from the table.

"Well then, tomorrow we're going shopping. I'll do your make-up. And then we'll have to fix your hair too. I'm your friend after all and I won't let you go on a date with a messy hair," my friend said.

She pointed at me, chewing a piece of pizza. I was in home clothing with my hair pulled back in a sloppy bun.

"Jess, calm down or I'll kick you again," I interrupted her, without hiding a smile.

The next day we met up with Jess and I put the choice of dress in her hands. We were shopping about two hours. In the end, we bought me a black dress, which was slightly above my knees and with small shoulder-straps. As soon as I saw myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize myself. I looked...sexy, kind of? In this dress, my breast and rounded hips were more visible. But, of course, Jess didn't stop on that. So, I had to buy high heels and lewd underwear. We almost had a row because of the last thing.

"Jess, I will never wear it," I whispered, because we were in the store. There were other customers near us, choosing underwear for themselves.

"I will look like a stripper or a prostitute," I continued to whisper.

"Do you know what kind of underwear a prostitute has?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

Seems that the girl who was standing next to us heard our conversation. I wanted to become invisible.

"No, but I guess..." I replied whispering.

Jess just rolled her eyes. She held in her arms that lewd underwear in an emphatic manner.

"And I saw it and this one doesn't look like a prostitute's underwear. Your underwear will be a delicate hint of sexuality," my friend said after some kind of time and started looking something for herself.

She was twisting tiny thongs in her hands; apparently, she decided to buy them.

"Where did you see?" I asked, bugging my eyes out.

Is there something I don't know about my friend? People started to notice us, we draw too much attention. I slouched again and didn't know what to choose.

"It's a long story. Here, take these cute shorts-panties and a bra with push-up, this is just what you need," Jess handed me a black set and I got terrified.

"Jess, but you can see everything through these panties and I have a short dress! Are you crazy? There is no mystery in this underwear..." I regret that I entrusted her to choose me clothes for this evening.

There was a guy passing by. Looks like he heard us and started glancing at Jess.

"Listen, a bra isn't transparent, so here you go the mystery. Just look at this lace."

"No, I won't wear this," I mumbled.

"Okay, here is another one. Almost the same, but only panties aren't transparent, so please calm down," Jess gave me another set.

Then the same guy walked up to us and asked Jess for help. He didn't know what kind of underwear to get for his girlfriend as a gift. Of course, Jess is a "pro" in such matters; she will give him some advice. I turned away silently and headed over the checkout.

After shopping, we came back home. Jess tormented me for a long time: make-up, hair. She turned me away from the mirror, so that I couldn't look at myself. It is 5 pm now. Michel will pick me up at 7 pm.

"What time your friends are coming?" I asked, while Jess was busy with my hair.

"At eight. We'll have a Stephen King's evening, scary movies and stuff like that," my friend answered.

I almost fell asleep while she was doing my hair. I kept thinking about this evening. I tried to imagine Michael's facial expression, when he sees me in this dress.

Michael is a very handsome guy; at school, everyone was surprised that he was dating me. A tall blond with athletic body and moreover he is smart. He is just a dream guy.

"Well, it's done..." Jess returned me back to reality.

She turned me to the mirror and I gasped. My friend emphasized my eyes: cat eyes, my skin tone was perfect and she didn't forget about eyebrows. She applied a little blush. It looked like my skin lit from within and she also applied some lip-gloss on my lips. My hair was curled up and was nicely lying on my shoulders. I would have never done it myself, all I know is how to use mascara and that's it.

"Jess, thanks you. You are just...I don't know how to describe," I tried to thank my friend, but I was speechless.

"I knew you would like it! Michael will be here soon, you have to dress up."

I slowly got up, being afraid to destroy all her creation and went to my room. I started dressing up without a hurry. Then I looked at myself in the mirror to see this whole fresh look. I don't recognize myself, if my mother saw me right now; she would have a heart attack. In my thoughts, I thanked Jess a hundredth time. I glanced at the time, its 7 pm, but Michael still wasn't here. He is never late, I started to call him, but he didn't answer. Bad thoughts came to my head. I was scared, what if something happened to him? Someone called at the door and I brightened up, finally! Jess headed to open the door. I grabbed my clutch and looked in the mirror once more. I smiled at myself and rushed into the living room. But it wasn't Michael. Ted, Chris and Harry were sitting on the couch. Matt sat down in a chair, munching popcorn, Brian and Jess were in the kitchen. As soon as they saw me, they opened their mouths.

"Why you're so beautiful today, did you do that for us?" Ted asked with sarcasm.

"Hey, by the way, I brought your shoes. Remember the last time you gave them to me?" Mattie interrupted his friend.

They all kept talking, without letting me to say a word. Then Brian entered the room with Jess. The guys were still saying something. I had such a chaos in my head, all I could think of was Michael.

"You should always dress up like that, it suits you..." someone said.

"Yeah, it turns out you have boobs!"

"It's all thanks to me," my friend said with delight.

"I'm going on a date with Michael," I began to speak, coming out of my frozen state.

"What is his full name?" Harry asked me suddenly.

"Stone. Michael Stone, so what?" they all laughed at loud in response and I was taken aback.

"Well, he is probably busy fucking some girls as usual..." Ted answered; he and Met looked at one another...

Others were still laughing, all except me and Jess. We exchanged looks in confusion.

"What are you talking about? Is it another joke? It isn't funny, Ted. Michael and I have been dating for two years," I interrupted the guys with a serious tone.

They stopped laughing and started looking at each other. Ted didn't know what to say.

"Well, is someone going to explain me this stupid joke?" I asked.

But they kept being silent. Jess poked Brian in ribs; he looked at me and began to speak.

"Everyone knows that Michael Stone hangs out every week with a new girl and when he has enough of her, he leaves her. He has never said that he has a girlfriend," Brian finished, trying to find the right words, so that he wouldn't hurt me so much. However, it didn't work.

I don't know what I felt. Anger, resentment, disappointment? And then again, everyone knows about everything, but I am the last one to find out about it. I clenched my fists so hard that the marks of my nails stayed on my skin. The room fell in silence.

"Well, maybe you'll feel yourself better. Harry punched him last year," Matt said, breaking the silence.

"You could have found something better to say," Harry grumbled, while looking at him.

Matt just shrugged with his shoulders. Everyone stared at the floor and kept silent.

"So why then no one told me that before?" I asked, feeling that I'm going to cry. So, in order to hold my tears back, I dug my nails even deeper into the skin.

"We didn't know which Michael you were dating," Chris replied quietly.

"Well done, you had some fun once again! This evening was a success. Emily is a looser as always."

"Don't say it like that," my friend interrupted me.

I wanted to continue my speech, but my phone rang, it was Michael. Everyone was sitting in silence, I answered.

"Hi sweetie! I'm sorry, but today we can't meet, we've got some problems in fraternity," Michael began to speak.

Hearing his voice, I understood that he is having a lot of fun right now. There isn't any problem in fraternity; it's more likely that they threw a party.

"Okay," I replied.

That was all I could say. I looked around at everyone who was in the living room. Someone was looking at me and someone was just staring at the floor, as they didn't know what to do. It seems like they are trying to be polite and they don't even make their stupid jokes anymore. Strange, there was plenty opportunities to make a joke, but they didn't use any. I would even say that they are confused.

"Let's meet tomorrow, okay?" Michael suggested.

"Okay," I answered and hung up.

"I think you all have heard that?" I asked the guests.

They just nodded in response. The guys really have changed. They are acting politely, like gentlemen. Great, I have never made anyone feel uneasy. You can call it a triumph.

"Well, enjoy your evening," I started to speak, heading over the front door.

"Where are you going?" Jess asked me.

She was standing and hugging Brian's waist, while he put his hands on her shoulders. I even felt a little envious. I should admit that they really do look good together. Both are sportive and fit.

"To fraternity, I need to talk with Michael," I replied.

Obviously, everyone was surprised by my answer.

"We won't let you go alone," Harry said, getting up from the couch.

Everybody followed him and started approaching me.

"What if you kill him?" Ted laughed.

I didn't know where was fraternity house, so I agreed that they would come with me. They stood up on my side? It's so unusual. The can go with me, but they aren't my friends. They are just curious what I am going to do next. We agreed that they would wait for me in the car. Matt, Chris and I went by Harry's car. Ted and Jess were driving with Brian right behind us.

On our way, Matt tried to joke around and Harry tried to find some good music. But they were mostly about love or heartbreak and stuff like that. In my mind, I tried to imagine my conversation with Michael. All my thoughts end up with me grabbing something heavy and hitting Michael.

"We have arrived," Harry said, nodding at a large mansion where the party was held.

"Someone is going to have big problems," I thought to myself. I imagine how he is having fun there. I became even angrier, as I remembered how I spent all this day for shopping and preparing for a date. But then Harry interrupted my thoughts.

"We should go with you," the guy said.

"No, stay here I won't be long," I answered, as I was getting out of the car.

I headed over to the house. It was full of drunken students. At the entrance, some guy winked at me. I felt like everyone was looking at me. I didn't pay attention to them. I was looking for Michael and very soon I found him. He was sitting in the living room with friends, with his back to me and some girl on his lap.

"Bro, why didn't you tell that you have a girlfriend?" one of his friends asked him.

I realized that they were talking about me. I didn't think of coming closer, I just waited for his answer.

"Well, she is 'sort of my girlfriend'. She disgusts me; I can't even kiss her normally..." Michael replied laughing. Everyone laughed in response.

"So, why you're still dating with her?"

"Hey, if you just only knew her family, who her parents are and what opportunities await you, you would have tolerated her," he said while drinking beer.

I was all boiling in anger. I imagined grabbing a bottle and smashing it against his head.

"Well, how you're going to fuck her, put on a bag on her head or something?"

"Ugh, don't even talk about it; I try to avoid having sex with her. I can become an impotent because of her!" everyone started laughing.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I went around the couch and sat down in front of him. Michael got surprised and almost chocked. Everyone realized who I was at once. The girl who was sitting on his lap jumped off and ran away.

"Dude, she is pretty," someone said from the crowd.

Michael looked at me from head to toe. Seems like he was surprised by my appearance.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi, Em...Emily," he replied.