Snow Patrol – New York

https://youtu.be/Ausiyu4_NQk

I decided to meet up with Harry on Monday and tell him everything. I was rehearsing my speech all evening, but despite my efforts I couldn't say the crucial phrase. I couldn't say: "I'm going to marry Michael". At first I decided to practice on Jess, as she also didn't know the truth, but I couldn't. It seems like a simple sentence. Those are just words, but at the same time they have such a meaning. As I got up on Monday's morning, I quickly got ready, had a breakfast and headed on a lecture where I will have to see Harry.

I was standing in a hallway for quite a long time and couldn't make myself enter. As I worked up the courage, I made a deep breath and entered. I started looking around for Harry, but he wasn't there. There was only Ted on our place where we sat the last time. When he saw me, he smiled and waved at me. He was sleepy and his hair was stuck up as usual.

"Hi!" he sang happily, looking at me from head to toe.

"Hi!" I tried to answer with the same happy tone.

"Where's Harry?" I asked almost indifferently and sat down beside him.

"He got ill, so he won't come today," the guy replied melodiously, scratching his nape.

I got happy that he wasn't here, it means that I will have more time till tomorrow. But Harry didn't appear even on the next day. Ted said that he's still sick. He didn't come in a week and in a week after that. Ted was coming up already with different stories and excuses about why he doesn't appear at lectures. But I knew the true reason of Harry's long absence - it was me.

He was avoiding me, I was getting angry already, but then I got happy. I won't have to talk with him, so he even helped me with that. Sometimes I met up with the guys, they visited us. Brian often stayed for a night at our place.

I was wrong about him, he's the politest and educated from all this company. Earlier I thought that he's the same as Ted and Matt. A badass hooligan. No, on the contrary. He's erudite and polite, with an aristocrat's manners. How all the five of them can be friends? They're so different, but something unites them. I had so many questions about their company. Why do Harry and Ted attend lectures, which they had to have in their first year. I had tons of questions, but I didn't want to bother them. We could easily communicate, I didn't want to lose relationship with other guys, so I kept my questions to myself.

My mother took responsibility of all the preparations for the wedding. I declared to her that I won't participate in any planning and preparation for this stupid wedding. All I had to do was to come on a fixed day, say 'I do' and act like it's the best day in my life.

With every day, I missed Harry more and more. I thought that I will get over it with the time, but it was getting worse with every day. Unconsciously I started thinking about him. When I was walking down the streets, I thought, where's Harry walking right now. When I was watching a movie, I wondered, did Harry watch it too? Did he drink a coffee today, like I am drinking it now? Looking at the stars, I thought, is he looking at them right now as well? It resembled a paranoia. What if I fell in love with him? If he was indifferent to me, I wouldn't think about him every day. These questions scared me and the scariest part was that the answer was evident.

On the weekends, Jess decided to stay over at Brian's place and left me alone with my thoughts. I was wandering a long time around the empty apartment, not knowing what to do. The walls were pressuring me, the silence deafening, I decided to go to the café and spend time there, so that I could take my mind off things. I quickly got ready and went to the café. I have been there for two hours, it was time to go back home. About nine o'clock I was walking home all by myself. I decided to go by foot on purpose, so that I could waste as much time as possible on the road. I was walking down the dark, sleepy streets, when I heard someone's loud voice. It seemed to me so dear and familiar, that my legs went by their own.

Unconsciously, I turned around the corner and saw a group of guys. It was dark, but even in the darkness I could easily recognize Harry's silhouette. He was in a rage, loudly arguing with some guy. I didn't understand why were they arguing, but obviously, they didn't look friendly. As I hid behind the wall, I began to spy, to know what happens next. After a few minutes, I understood that Harry was alone against them. Against five strong men. Everyone is tall and brawny, but Harry wouldn't disgrace them. One of them was holding a dialog, when suddenly he punched Harry in the stomach with all his strength and the guy doubled in pain.

"Hey!" I yelled, running out of the corner.

I don't know why I didn't get scared, but I confidently headed over them. There was no fear, just an anger.

"Don't dare to touch him, you - stupid swine!" I yelled loudly, coming closer to the man who punched Harry.

He was much taller than me and twice as large, but it didn't stop me. My voice sounded rude, I didn't even know that I was capable of that. Harry looked at me in surprise and drew himself up, his face was distorted with pain. My presence hurt him more than a punch from a robust man. That's the only thing that could scare me, I didn't get scared and came to him, and he's not happy to see me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Harry finally asked.

All the five men started staring at me and grinning. Before answering, I looked at the guy again, he was obviously drunk.

"Saving you..." I replied, feeling myself awkward.

Everyone started laughing, including Harry.

"I don't need your help!" the guy cut me off almost rudely, before punching a man who was standing on the right side from him.

Everything happened so fast, Harry brushed past the second one like a shadow and knocked him out with only one hit. I gasped in astonishment and began to move back. Harry nimbly dodged the most robust man's fist and punched him in the stomach with full strength then knocked down the fourth and the fifth. I was watching this with my mouth opened. "Wow," I thought to myself. Harry came to me when all the enemies were lying on the ground. As he recovered his breath, he started to speak.

"Emily, give me that..." he asked, but I couldn't come to my senses after what I saw.

The brunette snatched silently an empty bottle of beer from my hands. Looks like I grabbed it when I ran to save Harry. I wanted to break it against an assailant's head. I kept standing like that and the guy was saying something. Seems like he noticed that I was in shock, he grabbed me by my hand silently and led me away from this place. I was fallowing him obediently, trying to keep up with his steps. Sometimes I was running like a dog on a leash. The guy was walking too fast. He didn't let go of my hand and walked to the side of my house.

"Harry, blood..." I finally said somehow.

The guy stopped, I nodded at our hands, they were in blood. He looked at his hands. Harry smashed his knuckles with those hits, but there was a little blood. Then the brunette grabbed my hand and stretched it on the light. That was my blood, looks like I squeezed the bottle so tight that it broke and cut my palm, but I didn't feel anything because of shock.

"Let's go, we have to treat the wound..." Harry said calmly and took my other hand, and we went.

Slowly I was coming back to my senses. Night, silence, there's not a soul outside and only we with Harry are disturbing this peaceful night. "He's next to me," I whispered to myself. So strange, I was thinking about him so much and now I suddenly met him. But I could have stayed at home today. I could have gone by my car and not meet him. What's this? Fate? Coincidence? We silently went upstairs and reached my apartment's door. All my efforts to open the door were useless, Harry then grabbed the keys and opened the door. I went to the living room, whilst the guy quickly headed after a medicine box. I sat down on the couch and waited for him.

I was sitting on the couch silently and counted seconds when Harry appears. After a minute, he returned in the living room and sat beside me. I was trying to look into his blue eyes, but he wasn't even looking at me. I had nothing else to do than admiring him, before he didn't leave again. A gray T-shirt was covering his brawny body, black jeans suited him perfectly as always. I like his slattern style of clothes. Torn jeans on his knees, vintage, scuffed shoes. The brunette took my hand and began treating the cut. I slightly screwed my face up in pain.

"Does it hurt?" Harry asked, without raising his eyes.

"No," I decided to fib.

I look so pathetic in front of him, I don't want to whine because of the cut to cap it all.

"I'm fine," I added shortly.

Harry bandaged my left arm and put a medical box on the coffee-table.

"Your turn," I said, pointing at his hands.

Not waiting for his answer, I took his hand and started treating it with a hyperoxide.

"That's nothing," Harry said and pulled his hand out of mine.

It was making me angry already, why can't I help him. He's acting like a hermit again.

"Why are you acting like this?" I asked, moving closer to him.

"Because it's foolish!" Harry cut me off and got up from the couch.

I expected that, I had enough of this conversation, which don't do anything good. I took a medical box and headed over the bathroom to put it back. Before leaving the living room, I turned around and looked at him. The guy was nervously wandering around the room, stroking his hair up.

"I don't want to see you anymore..." I said as confident as possible.

Harry stopped abruptly and finally looked into my eyes. His eyes were gray and the look was tired. I saw pain and despair in his eyes. He was obviously bothered by something, but he didn't even think of sharing it with me. It was killing me, his unwillingness of sharing his thoughts and feeling with me. As if we're from different planets, but I was trying to accommodate with him and he was only thinking how to get rid of me.