// Castiel's POV ((MEMORY TIME AGAIN))

"Pleaaaaaase?!" He pleaded.

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I said no Cas. We just don't have time to go."

Castiel pouted and crossed his arms, stomping his foot on the ground.

"You're no fun." He mumbled. "Assbutt."

Dean smiled at the little tantrum his Cas was having. Wait what. No. Not his Cas. . .I mean he totally wasn't planning a se- oops.

"We could always find something better to do!" Dean reassured.

"But I wanted to go to to the circus! What's better than going to the freaking circus?!" Cas asked frantically.

"Oh I don't know. . .something that may or may not involve a bed. . ." Dean stretched on.

Mischief filled Cas' eyes and he smirked.

"You're on, Winchester."

And with that, they both jumped towards their own beds, grabbing a pillow and quickly turning around to hit the other person.

"You're going down, Angel!" Dean yelled, swinging his pillow around.

"In your dreams!" ((yea he goes down on the bed, spread out for him in his dreams.))

Dean somehow managed to whack Castiel in the head, knocking him over, which gave Cas the opportunity to kick his legs, causing Dean to also fall.

They were in silence for a while, staring at each other from their positions before they broke out into loud laughter.

"We're so lame. . ." Dean chuckled, shaking his head.

"Shut your face, we're awesome!" Cas smirked, hitting Dean with the pillow again.

+++++

"Hey, Dean. Guess what?" Cas asked, hiding in his closet.

"What?" Dean asked, reading some book, wearing his reading glasses.

"I'm coming out of the closet."

And with that, Cas stepped out of the closet, wearing Loki's helmet.

"Behold! My true form!" He yelled, laughing.

Dean looked up and choked on the air he was currently breathing. ((wut))

"W-What the hell?!"

"I am Loki of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose!"

"Where did you even get that?"

"Traded it with some guy for my maid dress." Cas stated casually, pulling off the helmet and observing the horns on it.

"Pity. I loved it on you." Dean smirked.

"Kinky."

"But why'd he want the dress in the first place?"

"Kinky."

"Touche."

Dean's phone chirped so he attended to it, leaving Cas to put the helmet back on and admire himself in front of a mirror.

"Hello? . . . Yea . . . oh! Okay. I'll be there."

Castiel looked at Dean through the mirror. He seemed to be in deep thought. He had that hard thinking face, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose.

"Dean? What's wrong?" He asked, facing him.

"N-nothing! I have to go." And he was gone, throwing his glasses on his bed and running out the door and that's when Cas noticed. Dean was already in clothes to leave. As if he was just waiting for the signal to get out.

Castiel shrugged and pulled off the helmet, tossing it on his bed before jumping on Dean's bed, wrapping the blanket around himself. He grabbed the glasses and placed them on his bed stand.

Castiel sighed and inhaled Dean's scent.

He wondered where he was going.

He wondered why Dean said he liked when he wore the maid dress.

He wondered what would've happened if they had went to the circus.

+++++

Castiel opened his eyes to the sound of a faint guitar playing.

Except, the sound wasn't near him. . .it sounded like if it was coming from outside.

((You guys can probably guess where this is going))

He didn't even know he had fallen asleep. He glanced at the window. The sun was setting. And the guitar was still playing.

And then someone threw a rock at his window- but instead of it being a small pebble that taps the window, they through a golf-sized rock, causing a hole to go through it.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Cas yelled, jumping out of Dean's bed and ran to the window.

The glass was shattered, not completely but still. And there seemed to be someone down there.

((They live on like the middle floor so there's that space like a balcony and stuff))

Castiel opened the window/door thing and stepped onto the balcony they had.

And he wasn't sure what shocked him more.

The fact that Sam and Gabriel were running away from the building, carrying rocks in their hands- or the fact that Dean was down there, guitar in hand, looking embarrassed at their brothers.

"Dean?" Cas called. Dean looked up and his cheeks filled with a pink color.

He smiled shyly up at Cas and began to play again.

It was the same tune Cas woke up to.

He spent some time playing before smiling and beginning to sing.

"After leaving my apartment, I feel this cold inside me

It howls away all through the market

It calls your name. . .Ooohh Ooohh oohh. . ."

Dean smiled and played the guitar again.

Castiel covered his mouth with his hands. Why was Dean doing this?

"On my way to your apartment, I write for fear of silence

You carved a boat to sail my shadow

Now I walk alone...

Oohh...alright...alright..."

Castiel quickly ran back in the dorm and down the stairs- the elevator would've taken to long.

I hit the sidewalk and this is how it starts

Hide in a raincoat when things are falling apart...

After leaving your apartment, I hear the coast by nightfall

So sure to keep you dreaming, you understood

Oh, I know you understood

Yes sir, it shows I was no good

Aaaahhh Alright, alright...

Castiel made it down and ran outside. Dean saw him, smiled widely and sang again.

"I hit the sidewalk and this is how it starts

Hide in a raincoat when things are falling apart

Cause sooner or later this is bound to stop

Come on, let's savor what we're falling for

After leaving your apartment

I hear the coast..." He finished singing and smiled at Cas.

Castiel smiled widely and laughed.

"What was this for?" He asked, curiously.

"To tell you to get dressed cause we're going to the circus!" Dean smiled widely.

Castiel's eyes widened and he jumped at Dean, wrapping hid arms around his neck.

"THANK YOU!" He yelled before pulling away and running back inside.

Dean smiled and shook his head.

This was going to be a long rest of the day.

+++++

"HOLY SHIZZLES, DEAN! LOOK AT THIS!" Castiel yelled, crossing the gate into the circus.

There were colorful tents everywhere! People were walking around on stilts, some cartwheeling around the area in jester outfits.

There were people dressed as gypsies, dancing around and tons of people juggling- this was an awesome circus.

Dean followed Cas around.

"Would you like to buy a flower?" A women asked, walking up to them in a gypsy outfit, carrying a basket of flowers with her. "You can buy a regular one for $5, one painted gold at the top for $15 and the ones dipped in wax for $20."

Castiel looked at her basket, his eyes glistening with amazement.

The woman showed him the waxed and gold ones and Castiel was completely astonished.

He searched around his coat pockets and pulled out a $20 bill.

The woman looked back and forth at the two boys before whispering to Cas.

"Shouldn't he be the one buying it for you?"

Cas looked up at her and tilted his head to the side.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Yea. What do you mean?" Dean came in.

"It's just the way you look at him. It's just like how my husband used to look at me..." she sighed sadly.

"Oh...what happened to your husband?" Cas asked her.

"He passed in an accident a year ago. But oh, did he love me. I didn't believe anyone when they told me how he looked at me. Until one of my friends recorded us at a reunion. And I saw. He looked at me like I was his world. Like he would be nothing without me...and he loved me so much..." she teared up.

"I'm so sorry." Cas whispered, pulling her into a hug.

Dean bit his lip and looked away.

"At any moment, if you're speaking or in complete silence, just glance at him...you'll see..." she whispered in his ear.

Castiel pulled away from her and smiled. She was called over by some other performer so Cas didn't get to buy a flower.

"Come on...the show'll be starting soon." Dean mumbled, taking Cas' hand and dragging him towards the biggest tent they had. Red and white spirals covering it.

They walked inside where people were taking their seats. They sat somewhere around the middle of the front.

"Cas...you good?" Dean asked.

"Yea...I just feel bad for the flower gypsy."

"Don't worry. The show should get your mind off things. Besides, I brought you here to have fun." Dean smiled.

Castiel nodded and also smiled.

A few moments later, the lights dimmed and spotlights shook around the crowd and performing area.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Thank you for coming out tonight and coming to out show!" A voice spoke through some speakers.

People cheered loudly as the lights went completely dark. There was nothing for a few minutes before blue, red, and yellow light came on towards the center of the area. In the light, stood two clowns. One with a sad expression painted onto it and the other with an overly excited one.

The happy clown laughed and began spinning around while the sad one just stood there watching.

Castiel watched them, he hoped they wouldn't be coming up here to the audience.

The happy one grabbed a cream pie and threw it at the others face- who just cried after it fell to the floor.

"That's totally our relationship right there." Dean whispered.

Cas laughed and kept watching.

After they rode unicycles and threw water balloons at each other, they ran up the steps and into the audience.

"sHIT!" Both boys whisper-yelled. They were glad Sam wasn't here. They'd probably be preparing his funeral.

The clowns messed around with a few people before the "happy" one walked in their direction.

"Shizzzzzzzzz no." Dean mumbled.

"Well hello there!" The clown smiled.

"Fudge cakes." Cas cursed. ((I saw that a lot. As well as Shiz-sickles and shiznits. I'm weird))

"And how are you two on this fine, evening?" He asked.

"Uhhhh. . .okay." They both said.

"Would you like to smell my flower?!" He asked.

Castiel shook his head frantically.

"Well. . .okay." He said before shooting Cas with the water in his flower and running away laughing.

Dean looked over at Cas, who's face was now covered in water. He laughed and patted his back.

"We survived!"

They saw people spitting fire, swallowing swords, tigers jumping through hoops, jugglers, jesters, and other things you'd see at a circus.

They called volunteers, which Dean and Cas quickly hid under their seats to avoid being called.

The show was soon over and they headed out to the Impala.

"Hold on, I forgot something." Dean said before running off.

Castiel shrugged and stood by the gate of the circus.

A few minutes later, Dean came back with a rose with blue wax covering it.

"Dean?"

Dean smiled and extended his hand with the rose in it.

"Here. I know how much you wanted one. So here."

Castiel smiled and took the flower, observing it.

"She said the wax is to preserve the flower. I have no idea when it'll actually die."

Castiel looked up at him and smiled.

"Thank you, Dean. It's wonderful."

They walked back to the Impala and went to the practice room where they told everyone of their little journey-- Sam and Gabe kept throwing rocks and Sam freaked out with the clowns.

But of course, they only shared stories like that before the Hell Hounds came along.

+++++ ((MEMORE TIME OVER BITCHES))

"Does he know?"

"Yea...he found out when he confronted Abbadon on how she was treating you."

Castiel looked down and slowly nodded.

He was leaving.

The Hell Hounds were going somewhere for extra training. The competition hosts decided to once again switch things up and the first competition was in a month and a half. The rumor was that some teams just weren't ready and begged for extra time.

Abbadon had spoken to Crowley and they both decided they would go out of state for that time. Back to the Hell Hounds college for extra practice-- but really it was to keep Dean away from Cas.

Sam sighed and patted Cas' shoulder.

"He'll probably stop by to say good bye." He whispered.

Castiel nodded again and Sam was gone.

Castiel walked to his night stand, picked up the flower preserved in wax from the circus, a while back.

He pressed it against his chest and went to lay on Dean's bed.

He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He wanted to be able to tell Dean. He didn't want him to find out but anyone else-- especially Abbadon.

Dean would probably hate him for not telling him sooner.

Castiel's thoughts were cut off my the sound of a guitar playing outside.

Castiel sat up and glanced at the window they had which was patched up with duck tape from the last time Dean sang to him outside.

Castiel pushed open the window and walked out onto the balcony.

Just as expected, he found Dean smiling up at him, and playing the guitar.

Chuck, Gabriel, and Sam were with him-- you know, as background dancers.

After a while they began singing an "oooh" that matched the tune Dean played.

Castiel looked down at them and waited.

"Please remember me...happily

By the rose bush, laughing with bruises, on my chin.

The time when...we counted every black car passing your house, beneath the hill...and up until,

Someone caught us in the kitchen with maps, a mountain range...a piggy bank. A vision too removed to mention

But please...remember me...fondly.

I heard from someone, you're still pretty and then, they went on to say...that the pearly gates, have some eloquent graffiti like,

"We'll meet again..."

And, "fuck the man."

And "Tell my mother not to worry."

And angels, with their great...handshakes, but always done in such a hurry..."

Castiel smiled and tossed the rose down at him, Sam caught it and walked over to Dean, placing it behind his ear.

He ran back inside, pulling his trench coat on and ran outside.

When he got out there, he found Dean on the verge of crying, still playing but not singing.

And please, remember me...at Halloween.

Making fools of all the neighbors out faces, painted white...by midnight we'd forgotten one another

And when the morning came...I was ashamed.

Only now it seems so silly

That season left the world and then returned

Now you're lit up by the city...

Castiel slowly walks up to him. He had no idea what to say.

So please remember me, mistakenly

In the window of the tallest tower

Call, then pass us by but much too high

To see the empty road at happy hour

Dean stopped playing the guitar, leaving the boys to sing the instrumental for him.

He took Cas' hand and placed the other on his shoulder and began to dance with him.

"So please remember me, finally

And all my uphill clawing

My dear, but if I make the Pearly Gates
I'll do my best to make a drawing

Of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl
An angel kissin' on a sinner

A monkey and a man, a marching band

All around the frightened trapeze swingers..."

He finished singing the song and hummed the last instrumental bit in his ear, still dancing with him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered.

"I...I was going to. But Abbadon told you first." Castiel whispered in return.

"So I wont see you for two months?" Dean asked.

"A month and a half, Dean."

"Right..."

They were silent for a while-- Chuck, Gabe, and Sam were messing with a tree behind them.

Dean leaned his forehead against Cas' and looked down at his eyes.

"You'll remember me, right?"

"Of course. How could I forget such an amazing green eyed, freckled, guy like you?" Cas laughed.

Dean smiled and pressed his lips against his.

The kiss was soft, sweet, and desperate. As if it'd be the last one they'd ever share.

Dean moved his hands to the sides of Cas' head and deepened the kiss, tears running down his face.

He had no idea why he was acting this way...it was probably because at one point in his life, he realized, he was in love with his best friend.

They broke apart for air and stared into each others eyes.

"I'm going to miss you." Cas whispered.

Dean kissed his forehead and nodded.

"I will too..."

They shared one more kiss before Dean moved the blue waxed rose from behind his ear and giving it back to Cas.

"Something to remember me by." He whispered.

Castiel nodded, holding back tears and left.

Once he was out of sight, he cried. He curled up in a corner of his dorm room and cried.

After a while...he grabbed a duffle bag and began packing.

The competition was in a bit more than a month and a half. Castiel was leaving for extra practice.

He was leaving Castiel Novak.

He had no idea he'd be returning as something else.

*((comes out of hiding)) hello there. Sorry I haven't updated this in forever so here's a nice long chapter! Songs were Apartment by Young The Giant and The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine. So the full Trapeze Swinger is like nine minutes so I cut most of it out-- sorry. But I do hope you enjoyed it! Everything shall be sad now...ehehehehe ((hides again)) bye

ComeAlongHolmes_ *