I ended up catching an Uber to Lottie's after I left Frazer's, and thankfully, this time, she was awake. The moment I was in her bedroom, though, she demanded I give her the play-by-play.

"I'm so fucking embarrassed," I groaned after I finished telling her about my awkward retreat.

"Yeah, it sounds pretty embarrassing," she mumbled, as if she didn't expect me to hear.

"Hey!" I reprimanded, lifting my head out my hands to glare at her. "You're supposed to be making me feel better."

Hands up high, she said, "Truth is better than lies though, right?"

I smothered my face into her bed, to no avail. "I'm never drinking again," I sighed, voice muffled by the mattress.

"Surely you wouldn't make that mistake a second time."

I turned my head on the bed to look at her, all mortification finally fleeting from me as instead the bleakness took its place. "Who knows. I told myself I'd never reach out to him after he ghosted me and look what I did yesterday."

"In your drunk-self's defence, I wasn't picking up and your dad would have been mad at you. You had nowhere else to go."

"I shouldn't have called him in the first place though, Lottie!"

"Well... Who knew you'd be able to navigate unblocking someone while being that intoxicated?"

I turned my head back into the mattress. "I'm so glad no one we know knows of this. Otherwise I'd never be able to show my face in public."

"Yeah. Good thing it's just Frazer who, this time, you'll never have contact with again."

Though, "You don't sound so certain about that."

"I just think we don't know what the future holds."

"Not him and I ever talking again."

"Forever is—"

Cutting her short though was my phone pinging. We both turned to stare, wondering who it could possibly be.

It's dad, I reasoned as I fished through my bag. No one else would ever text me.

My hand collided with the device.

Or even just spam. Some mailing list I'm on.

It's not...

I unlocked my phone.

It can't be...

I pulled down the notification bar.

And, alas, It's him.

Lottie's head was already over my shoulder, her delight unable to be masked. "Open it! What else did he say?"

I glared at her. "Are you forgetting we hate him?"

"Yeah, but... Frazer Young is texting you. That part is still exciting, even if he's your stupid ex."

I shook my head. "You're so contradictory." I turned back to the unopened message on my phone, its preview niggling at my stomach, begging me to click it. "I'm going to have to change my number again."

"Why did you still even have his number?"

"It's not like I can't not have his number when it's listed in my blocked list."

"Fair... So when are you going to open it?"

Knowing she wouldn't rest until I did, I clicked the message, my eyes quick to peruse through its contents.

Frazer: Hey, I know we left things on a bad note and that you don't want to hear from me. But just in case you haven't blocked me again yet, I wanted to say a few things. Firstly, I wanted to check in on you to make sure you made it home safely and that you're fairing okay. Please make sure you rest and drink plenty of water, okay? If you could text me back to let me know you're safe, I'd really appreciate it. I know you don't want to talk to me, but even a full stop just to say you're fine would do... Secondly, I wanted to say if you ever need me, I'll be here. Big or small, I'll answer your calls from hereon. Always. Except if I'm on stage. Even if you've closed the door to anything between us, I'll always leave it open. Finally, if you can ever find it in yourself to sit down and talk with me, I'd still like to. Even if you end up shouting at me most of the time, I want you to shout at me. And I want to apologise. I don't want you bottling up all your resentment for me without ever unleashing it. I'm not saying you have to talk to me ever after that (not that I don't want you back in my life permanently), but I want to give you your closure. I'm in town for the next two months. I'm going to try to come back more too, even if it's just for a weekend. So please... whenever you feel ready, message me.

Frazer: And just in case you deleted my number, this is Frazer btw. If that wasn't clear...

"I know I just said I should never drink again... but I think I need a drink," I said to Lottie when we both finished reading.

"Well, we better go to Dan Murphy's," she replied before leaping off the ground to grab her keys and wallet. "Though let's just drink here. That way you won't need a ride, and you won't have any reason to end up at Frazer's."

◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷

When I roused from my slumber the next morning, I felt at peace. The darkness and coolness from the room was just what my foggy head needed. But when I finally flickered my eyes open to face the day, I grimaced.

Then I sat up, abruptly.

"No," I muttered as my head whipped around, and I ignored the throbbing of my brain. "No, no, no. This is impossible." I was at Lottie's... There's no reason for me to be here! How am I here?

My hands wandered over my body, and I sighed in relief that this time I was fully clothed.

As I gently climbed out of the bed and searched the place for anything that could be mine—because heaven forbid I left something here and had to see him again to retrieve it—the memories came flooding back in.

◁◁

We were in Lottie's bedroom, sitting on her bed with her laptop open, watching The Idea of You.

"Stupid singers and their stupid fame and their stupid songs," I grumbled at the screen as the couple had their next large obstacle.

Turning to Lottie, I already opened my mouth to say something to her, only to find her head tilted all the way back on the pillows, her eyes closed, and her mouth slightly agape.

"You say I'm a poor drunk," I muttered before taking another swig of my drink and turning back to the movie. Yet as the film dragged on, I got more impatient with the plot. With the sadness. With the reality that even this film didn't see a love working out between a normal person and a celebrity. It was never going to work out.

I closed Lottie's laptop and pulled out my phone instead, scrolling through my social media all the while. Endless posts filled my feed about weekend adventures, nights out, memes, advertisements...

When a McDonald's ad popped up.

"Ice cream," I whispered as I stared at the new Biscoff McFlurry on my screen. "Lottie," I nudged her. "How do we get ice cream?"

But she merely groaned before shuffling down in her bed and rolling onto her side, continuing to sleep on.

"Useless woman..." I opened up Uber Eats and scrolled for options. It will melt by the time it gets here, I managed to reason as I considered ordering it. So next I looked up distance to walk. It's too far.

That was when I made my second mistake in 24 hours. As a distraction from my craving, I opened up my message history, staring at his last text left unread. Unable to allow myself to be as cruel as him, I typed a dot into the message section and sent it through, finally deciding to let him out of his worry in my drunken stupor.

Though then the three dots appeared before I could even exit the app.

I spent so long staring at our chats, waiting for this moment... And now... Now he's too late.

Frazer: Thanks, Em. Glad you're safe. Sent at 12:01am.

Frazer: Why are you still up at this time? Sent at 12:02am.

Frazer: I can see you're reading my messages... Sent at 12:03 am.

Me: It's anoying when someone reds your messages and doesn't reply. Sent at 12:04 am.

Frazer: I can imagine... I'm sorry. Sent at 12:05am.

Me: Imsure you are. Sent at 12:06am.

Frazer: When can I start making it up to you? Sent at 12:08am.

Then I stupidly sent back without thinking...

Me: If you get me a biscuit mcflurry, I might cohrhsider seduling in thindkjing about your request. Sent at 12:10am.

Frazer: That can be arranged... but won't your dad be mad? Sent at 12:12am.

Me: I'm at Lotto's still. Sent at 12:12am.

Frazer: You didn't go home? Sent at 12:13am.

Me: No. I wasn't 44ady to face dad in all my anger. He'd be able to tell... Sent at 12:14am.

Frazer: Tell that you saw me again? Sent at 12:15am.

Me: Yes. Sent at 12:15am.

Frazer: It's not like it was stamped on your forehead. Sent at 12:16am.

Me: But you know I'm terrible at lying... and something would com4 up and he'd figure it out. Sent at 12:17am.

Frazer: This is true... Sent at 12:17am.

Me: So are you getting me that ice cream? Sent at 12:19am.

Frazer: ... are you sober right now? Sent at 12:20am.

Me: Does that matter? Sent at 12:20am.

Frazer: Yes. Sent at 12:20am.

Me: I'm sober. Sent at 12:22am.

Frazer: Why all the typos then? Sent at 12:22am.

Me: ... Maybe I've had some drinks. Sent at 12:24am.

Frazer: Perhaps we take a rain check for when you're sober. Sent at 12:25am.

Me: It didn't stop you ureters. Sent at 12:26am.

Me: yesterday*. Sent at 12:26am.

Frazer: Yesterday you were both vulnerable and in a potentially unsafe place. This time you're at Lottie's. You should just go to sleep. Sent at 12:28am.

Me: Fine. I'll other Uber Eats. You're always such a disappointment. Sent at 12:29am.

The dots appeared and disappeared several times after that, and I exited the app to peruse the Uber Eats while I waited. But when the text never came through, I opened our messages again, my eyes starting to feel heavy.

The dots were no longer there. And as I waited, they still didn't reappear.

I read through my previous text and sighed.

Me: That was uncalled for over an ice cream. Sent at 12:37am.

Frazer: I get it. And I'm sorry. I'll forever be sorry. Sent at 12:38am.

Me: Then get me an ice cdam. Sent at 12:39am.

Me: cream*. Sent at 12:39am.

Frazer: I don't want you to resent me more for taking advantage of you when you're drunk. Sent at 12:40am.

Me: Jo2 is getting me an ice cream taking advantage? T's not like you're going tonout your hands on ke. Sent at 12:41am.

Me: ... I'm not fixing tall those typos. Sent at 12:41am.

Frazer: I can read around the typos. Don't stress. Also, you wouldn't text me when sober... I feel like I'm using your more sympathetic drunk side to sneak back into your life. It's cheating. Sent at 12:42am.

Me: Sounds eyonme you're not serious about finding a way back into my life. Sent at 12:43am.

Me: to me*. Sent at 12:43am.

Again, the dots appeared and disappeared a few times. Though this time, he sent a reply.

Frazer: Be there in 15 mins. Grab some keys so you can get back into Lottie's this time. Sent at 12:46am.

Me: I thought you'd just drop it off. Sent at 12:47am.

Frazer: But then it will melt... It's best eaten right after it's ordered, right? You'll just have to spend some time with me. Sent at 12:48am.

The corners of my lips turned up as I read his text, and they went up further when he sent another straight after.

Frazer: On my way. Sent at 12:50am.