TW There are intense themes of depression, self h*rm, s*icide and self-loathing you have been warned.

Kokichi's POV

The voices are so loud. Screaming at me.

Liar

You should have been killed

What are you even here for

Useless

Untrustworthy

Lunatic

Killer

My vision starts to darken. I am useless. This mask I wear is just a lie. I really am just a liar...

I woke up at 2 am. I have gotten no sleep my eye bags are going to start being noticeable.

Scream

I walked to the bathroom where the scream originated from. I walked in slowly probably overly cautious. We are in a killing game after all. I looked in the shower then moved my eyes towards the door. I see someone in the mirror. I step towards the mirror to see myself looking back at me. He is smiling at me. I step back reflexively. My anxiety started to spike. The person in the mirror is not me.

"Hi, Kokichi~," The mirror me said with the smirk I know so well.

"Have you finally got some sense and found out that you are not wanted here!"

"NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU!!"

"YOU ARE USELESS NE HE HE..." He faded into the darkness of the mirror only to be replaced by the faces of his classmates. First, it was Kaito and Maki. Then the rest soon followed. They said all the things I have heard before. Lastly, it showed Shuichi. His face pale and his expression bare.

"You should have trusted me..." He said before his eyes went dark. I screamed at the sight and punched the mirror causing it to shatter. The pink blood dripped off my hand. My hands pulled at my hair as I screamed as tears streamed down my cheeks. Fat tears started to flow down my cheeks. Sobs erupting from my throat. I screamed until my throat felt like blades were cutting into it. I fell to the floor of the bathroom and sobbed until the morning announcement came on indicating it was time to get up.

"Well, time to start another day..." I said my voice scarce and broken from the events of the night before. I got up off the tiled floor of the bathroom and went to change. My clothes from the day before were covered in tear stains and blood from my fist. I took off my clothes and threw some new ones on. I bandaged my hand and arms from the night before. To complete the look (and to hide the cuts) I put a glove on my cut stained hand. I sat down on my bed opening my notebook.

twelve more cuts added to my arms and twenty-five cuts on my hand from the glass of the mirror.

I sighed placing the notebook in the fake bottom of the drawer of my bedside table. Pushing myself off the bed I made my way to the cafeteria.

. . . Time Skip . . .

I walked into the cafeteria with my usual mask on.

"Ne hehe it seems I happened to be the last one to show up~" I announced to my classmates sitting around the cafeteria.

"Maybe it's because I was up causing trouble, but who knows even I don't remember~" I grabbed a bottle of panta and turned to Shuichi.

"Ne hehe see you later Saihara-Chan~," I said before leaving the room in a flourish. When I was away from the noise of the useless chatter I pulled out a blade.

. . . Time Skip Next Day . . .

"Upupu good morning students!!" Monokuma screeched over the intercom.

"We have a new motive seeing as not that much killing has been happening." Monokuma continued.

"Since you have been so boring you get some more punishments punks!" Monokid chimed in.

"Please don't let it be violent.." Monophine whimpered.

"The new motive is..." Monokuma Paused.

"Secret revelation!" Monophine beamed.

"We have found a notebook filled with secrets and if no killing happens today by 7 pm then its contents will be revealed!" Monokuma yelled once again.

"Happy killing punks!!" Monokid added before the intercom shut off.

notebook?!

My eyes widened as I heard the announcement.

I only have until 7 till they all find out.

They are all going to know...

About everything.

The abuse I have caused myself.

The nightmares that just keep getting worse.

They will all know who I really am.

Then they will definitely kill me.

My breathing quickened as I checked the drawer. Of course, it was empty.

That was my notebook.

They took my notebook.

Everyone will know.

I fell to the floor filled with despair. Tears were already flowing out of my eyes. I decided I didn't have enough energy to put my mask on so I was going to skip breakfast today. I can't be that much of a big deal I bet no one will notice if I was missing. They all hated me anyway...

"There is no way to change anything now just have to bite the bullet and approach them." I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. I wiped my eyes trying to look presentable in some way. I took my shirt off and made some marks on my arm to be able to have some energy to maintain my mask for the day.

Seventeen cuts added to my left arm.

When I was putting the blade away there was a knock on my door.

"Kokichi?"

. . . Time Skip . . .

Shuichi's POV

It has been 7 days since I have been here and Kaede's execution was a while ago... I was still way anxious of another murder happening especially after the new motive... I walked to the cafeteria since it was already an hour into lunch I was too busy overthinking why Kokichi missed breakfast.

Is the notebook his?

Is the new motive threatening to reveal whatever he put in the notebook?

Stop overthinking this maybe he just isn't feeling well.

I looked at the clock again and noticed I was still super late to lunch and people were going to start to get suspicious. The hallways are always dark and while walking down them you always have to be careful and watch out for vines, cracks, and roots in the floor from weathering. I walked into the cafeteria and the white fluorescent lights flashed into my eyes causing me to have to blink while my eyes were adjusting to the sudden change. When my eyes adjusted I saw that Kokichi still wasn't there. My anxiety then spiked. I started to ask around the room to see if he was ok. They all said they haven't seen him and some even added why they wouldn't care where he was anyway. Lastly, I asked my colleagues Maki and Kaito and they both said they haven't seen him since yesterday at the nighty announcement. My breathing started to increase.

Kokichi could be dead for who knows how long.

Maybe he got murdered!

Maybe he has been dead since breakfast and no one went looking for him.

I left the room to go and find Kokichi. I had to calm my worries and prove that these statements were just false knowledge so I would be able to think clearly. Before I left I saw Kaito and Maki look at me with confused looks. That doesn't matter now I need to see if Kokichi is ok. I know no one has gone looking for him because they all are not very fond of him and would probably be glad if he was no longer around. It's kind of sad to think of it like that. No one even bothered to go looking for him even though he has been gone for more than 12 hours. I started walking faster as I heard a thump come from the direction of his room. My heart was going a mile a minute. He doesn't deserve to die.

. . . Time Skip . . .

I finally got to his room. I was gasping for air because of sprinting down the hallway jumping over vines and such. I hesitated but knocked on the door with a shaking hand.

"Kokichi?"

Kokichi's POV

I jumped at the sudden noise scared of who could be behind the door. Who would care enough to come knock on his door or even bother coming to look for him? I hesitantly spoke.

"Y-yeah who is knocking at the Ultimate Supreme Leaders door at this hour." I tried to cover up my stutter at the beginning.

"It's me Shuichi and I was just wondering why you haven't come out of your room at all today."

Sh-Shuichi is at the door. I hesitantly walked over to the door and opened it.

"I'm surprised my Beloved Saihara-Chan came to check in on me." After I said that his eyes went down to my wrist and I realized I wasn't wearing a shirt to cover all the wounds on my wrist and arms. My eyes widened and I slowly looked up at Shuichi.

"I-it's not what it looks like!" I said before slamming the door and running to the bathroom and locking the door shut. I could hear the door open and Saihara calling my name. It sounded like he was about to cry. Is this a prank? He started pounding on the door.

"Kokichi I know you're in there please come out *hic* let's talk about this. Please, Kokichi let me in..." I reluctantly walked out.

"Why do you care? Aren't you and scum like me enemies? I am a leader of a super evil organization and your a detective. Isn't that right mister detective~" I said hiding my arms behind my back even though that did nothing seeing as I had scars all over my torso and back. All Saihara did was stare.

"Saihara-cha-" I was cut off by Shuichi pulling me into a hug. I jumped a little from the sudden touch and eventually reluctantly hugged him back. I soon felt wet tears fall onto my shoulder. I felt guilty for the words I said before. I could hear small sobs escape his mouth. I rubbed his back to try and comfort him in some way.

"Hey, Saihara-Chan I'm ok alright. You don't have to worry about me..."

He pulled back suddenly and revealed his tear-stained cheeks from the fat tears falling down them. He looked really mad his face was all red and his nose was running from the crying.

"H-how can you say that!" He yelled at me as more tears came down his face.

"But I'm really doing fi-" He put his hand over my mouth.

"Don't even say that! You matter! Maybe not to anyone out there, but you matter to me!" He paused looking away while his face got redder.

"Don't talk about yourself like that... " He said taking his hand off my mouth.

"Sorry I lost my composure..." He said holding his hand over his mouth face still red. Baffled I took a few moments to process what just happened. I stayed silent for a moment and hesitated before speaking.

"Hey, Saihara-Chan I-" I was cut off by an announcement from none other than monokuma himself.

"Heyo ultimates pupupu now seeing how it is 7 pm and no murder has happened I will have to reveal the contents of this notebook," Monokuma yelled giggling uncontrollably after.

"It states,

So I guess this is happening. Who knew this would happen to someone like me. Anyway, like before I came here am going to keep an account of everything that happens.

Day- 1

man people already hate me I would have expected this since even before only a few people could tolerate me. I have to keep this up I will end this killing game and I don't want anyone getting attached to scum like me.

No sleep again not surprised to be honest.

Fourteen cuts on right thigh

Fifteen cuts on left thigh

Day 2-

I have to keep this up or people will suspect something. Who would want to know the real me anyway?

Everybody wants me dead. I can't say I don't want the same thing.

One long cut on my back and torso

Twenty-Three cuts on both arms

Day 3-

I can't take it anymore I wish this would just end! There is only one person here that I would miss and he doesn't even know I'm alive. Anyway, why would he care about me anyway? Who would miss this??

Flashbacks tormented me all day today could barely leave my room.

I should probably start to eat soon.

Forty-Five cuts on torso and back

Two deep cuts on left wrist

Day 4-

Someone tried to kill me today I'm not that surprised. I lost to much blood yesterday it caused me to be delusional so I'm skipping today.

The nightmares occurred again.

Day 5-

Fifteen cuts on both lower legs.

running out of wrap. I will have to go steal some more out of the infirmary soon...

Hallucinations today have made a total of eighteen.

My eye bags have gotten worse will have to apply more makeup to hide them.

Day 6-

He said I would be alone forever. He is not wrong, but it still hurts like hell!

He was in the mirror again taunting me torturing me. He must hate me.

Three cuts on the back of my neck.

The voices are so loud. Screaming at me.

Liar

You should have been killed

What are you even here for

Useless

Untrustworthy

Lunatic

Killer

The nightmares are getting worse I find it harder to sleep at night.

I can't even remember the last time I fell asleep...

twelve more cuts added to my arms

twenty-five cuts on my hand from the glass of the mirror.

Day 7-

"That's all folks some interesting stuff in here..." Monokuma stated.

"That was so gorry..." Monophiane whispered.

"Well you all are probably wondering who this belongs to... and I will let you figure that out. To make this more interesting. Happy killing!!" He said with one final screech as the monitor shut off. Tears were already pouring down my eyes. Shuichi said nothing and pulled me to the bed and held me in his arms.

"I'm sorry for not noticing..." He said muffled by my hair.

"It's alright I should have told you," I said sobs bursting out of my mouth erupting from my lungs. He started to rub circles into my back and he nuzzled his head into my hair.

"I love you Kokichi..." Confused by his words I hesitated then responded with the words I have kept to myself for a long time.

"I love you too Saihara-Chan..." He then pulled back and moved his hands to my cheeks. Confused I looked up at him, he had a small smile with tears falling out of his eyes.

"I'm so glad you're still here." He said before leaning down and putting his lips to mine. He kissed me and I soon melted into the kiss. I never thought this would happen and it's like a dream come true.

. . . Time Skip . . .

I nervously was in my empty room when the night time announcement went on. I started to shake and was feeling another hallucination about to happen. I remembered that Saihara-Chan cared about me and wanted to help. It took me an hour to work up the courage to walk over to his dorm.

. . .

The hallways are so empty at this time of night. I wonder if people figured out it was me.

sigh

I covered my mouth to muffle my screams anytime I heard a noise. I felt more afraid then I have in my entire life and I don't like it. I knocked on Shuichi's door hesitantly. It felt like I was waiting for years instead of seconds.

I was met with a tired-looking Shuichi. His eyes were droopy and he looked like he would fall asleep any second.

"Hey, Saihara-Chan I was just making sure you were ok. It's not like I was scared or anything." I rambled moving my hands as I spoke. I was only pulled into his room and felt the warmth from his embrace.

"Shu-Shuichi" I stuttered suddenly embarrassed by the sudden contact.

"Kokichi calm down, I know how your nightmares make it hard for you to sleep. I was actually up waiting for you." He said in a soothing voice. I stayed silent because I was too embarrassed to respond. He probably knew this because after a couple of seconds he pulled me over to his bed and lay down beside me. I was facing him and was grateful it was so dark so he couldn't see my blush. He put his arms around my small frame and rubbed my back causing me to shiver. I felt safe in his embrace and felt myself begin to fall asleep.

No one's POV

Shuichi was startled awake by Kokichi shaking and sobbing in his sleep. Kokichi moved while he was sleeping and was on the other side of the bed. Tears were pouring out of his eyes and his whole body was shaking violently. Shuichi was immediately concerned and pulled Kokichi into his arms. He held him close and wanted to do anything in his power to make this stop. Kokichi shook less from the embrace and the sobs soon calmed down. Shuichi combed through his hair with one hand and putting the other one around his waist. Shuichi was consumed with worry and felt on edge ever since he found out that the boy he cared deeply about tried to end his own life and was causing himself so much pain. A couple of tears fell out of his eyes onto Kokichi's hair. Kokichi started to shuffle around on the bed.

"S-Shuichi..." He said voice tired and quiet.

He paused and opened his eyes to see Shuichi's tear-stained face.

"Shuichi what's wrong!" Kokichi said moving his hands to his face and wiping away the tears off his now wet cheeks.

"I- I'm so sorry... I wasn't able to be there for you... You wer-" He was cut off by his own sobs. Kokichi stayed silent and nuzzled into his chest in an attempt to comfort him.

"I'm not going anywhere cause you're here with me." He pulled out of the embrace and pressed his lips to his.

A/N

This is the part called nightmares from my one-shots book. I will be doing this continuation over my Christmas break I still might be slow on updating so please be patient with me.

Thanks for reading!

Stay Safe