Cure

Mother, you gave me the cure
To fever and to monsters
I will make it up to you, I'm sure
It won't be a game of musical chairs
I will make it a crossword puzzle
So I can choose my actions
I will give you satisfaction
A love that all it does is dazzle

{••●♥●••}

   My breath hitched. He was going to tell me the truth! But what if it doesn't give me any closure? Or what if the truth is too much to bare? Albeit the circumstances, I did long the truth. 

   He paced back on forth in the empty room, stretching his neck and grumbling. "God DAMMIT Paul, what do you want from me?!" He yelled at me, looked angered and too conspicuously feared. And he feared me too. My eyes widened at his sudden action, and I just couldn't help but question it. He threw his head back and snickered.

   "Oh, Paul, when will you ever understand?!" He yelled once more, banging his fist on the wall behind me. I couldn't look at him. I was petrified. And yet, I did not understand an ounce.

   "I-I don't get it..." I mumbled, just enough for him to hear it and grab my collar. "HOW DO YOU NOT GET IT?!" He yelled, his spit landing on my face. I felt disgusted. "Fuck you and your games Paul!" He screamed in agony. He afterwards left the room in resentment, leaving me alone in the darkness.

 - "Pauuulieee..."
  
   "Are you awake Paul?"

   "I've made you breakfast."

   "Your favourite blueberry pancakes."

   "My sweet daisy Paulie..."

   She sung. She loved to sing.

   I woke up from my long sleep, my forehead drenched in sweat. Looking out the blinds, I noticed it was still nighttime. My skin was burning.

   "Mum?!" I shouted. "Mum I think I have a fever!" Nothing. "Mum?!" She would have run to me by now. Where was she?

   It was the first time she left me alone, begging for her to come. I wish that she came. She didn't.

   I once again pulled the covers on top of me, shivering from the cold I felt. But it wasn't cold.

   I was scared. Looking around the dark room, my head was filled with hallucinations of monsters. I was a kid, after all.

   "The monsters mommy, the monsters." I cried onto her shirt.

    "What monsters Paulie?"

    "The monsters! They were tall and dark with big fangs! They wanted to kill me!"

   She lied on the bed next to me, and pulled the covers on top of her.

   I was grateful to have a mum like her. She cared for me more than she cared for her own well being - and maybe a little too much. -

   In the darkness my eyes began to take their initial form, the one before my father's presence. From the sudden absence of white light, the vivid picture of it was glued on my eyes; it was just like seeing white in a room full of darkness.

   I moved my hands which were tied behind the chair, yet no result of escape was given. I had to escape.

   But even if I did manage to untie the ropes and gain full mobility of my body, it wouldn't change the fact that I was trapped inside my father's little jail, like a thief; but in refutation, I didn't do anything bad to hurt anything or anyone. It was only Magnus who did stuff like that.

   And throughout the whole hour after my father's take off, I remained inside my thoughts.