People ask for things, I give them said things.. Sometimes

So as you all (hopefully) Know by now I'm not the brightest ray of sunshine.. I tend to hide my problems until I see no reason to continue or move forward, I always look tired and I used to cut..

Each day these voices in my head get louder and louder, sometimes I have days when I just want to stay away from my friends because I feel like I'm not good enough for them, and I wouldn't blame anyone for hating me.. I'm insane

In fact i had isolated myself completely at one point.. I cut myself off from Wattpad, social media, people irl, I just stayed in my room and called myself a failure...

For about a week.. Until I got hungry.. I wasn't one who cared about self image, heck sometimes I forget to even brush my teeth or put on clean clothes, but for some reason I didn't eat much that day.. Despite the fact that we had loads of food and I was still starving, it was actually noticeable how bad I looked at the time... I had scratches on my neck and if I wasn't wearing a shirt, my body was covered in scratches..

But it didn't stop there

Each day, things we're getting blurry, some days I saw just what was a few feet in front of me, other days I could see clearly, and some days.. Everything was a blur, I didn't CARE about myself, I hated myself to be honest, my coping mechanisms were falling, I felt like I just wanted to die, I was so low and things were getting so bad that I couldn't handle the pain

But then.. I met someone..

I won't give out their name.. But the day I met them I was thinking of committing suicide.. Then I saw there was love in this world, that I was good enough...

But then.. Even realizing kindness did exist.. I still couldn't do everything alone..

I didn't get help... But for some reason.. I never gave up, i never should give up

Thats actually why I keep going.. Why I keep living, because people out there are struggling just like me, and I have to be there to make people happy, while I still struggle, I pull through, I still help.

But hey, even the helper needs a little help sometimes, if you understand that? Me neither