Hello. I won't tell you my name. You don't need to know. Some of you will know. Some of you wont. Some of. You won't care. I don't care. I have a slightly dark, depressing past. I try not to bring it up. But sometimes I do. I don't know why. But it always makes me want to cry into my pillow to get to sleep. Ok starting with you will always know when I'm about to cry. My eyes get shimmery. I start over blinking, I run everywhere cause I don't want people to see the tears in my eyes. I start mentally screaming at myself to to cry but I just clutch and scratch at my arms. I've never cut but I do the clutching and scratching thing to have physical pain and overwhelm the mental pain. My smile stays but it's looks weird and uncharacteristic on my face. It's too wide which makes me look slightly crazed and scares most people off. I'll pretend to be happy. My friends will be able to see through it because my giggly bubbly nature will end. My giggling will cease. My voice will lost its chirpiness. I'll stop squealing. I'll stop fangirling. I'll stop being me. And it all started with my mother being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer when I was seven. She took us it our safe haven. A tiny town called Clayton Oklahoma that we always thought of as a second home.  She told us there. In a room that is now burned down in a pretty recent fire. That was when I came up with my imaginary world. My world where movie characters were my friends. Where I had friends. Where I had a best friend who cared and loved me for who I was. O still have it today. But it doesn't take over my life like it did then. Now I have friends and love. People who can see through the smile when I'm about to cry. Probably my two best friends Rylie and Ali. They keep me sane. They keep me happy. They help me even though they don't really know how much they help me with their very presence in my life. This is mostly real. Besides the hetalia the life scenarios exist. I'm just adding hetalia to it. That anime has given me a happiness I hadn't  felt in a while. This story will start at the beginning. And go through my saddest moments. My loneliness. My depression. How I met my best friends. How they helped but didn't know. And how, without even they're own knowledge, they pulled me from the depression I was stuck in with just a few little words. Let's begin shall we?