Death sneered when I cured people with my voice.

Once upon a time, in one of the craziest cities in the world, I was waiting to participate in America's Most Talented. Hoping to become the most famous singer in the country; because my whole life was about singing the fuck-out of my throat. I could do it all day, till my parents forced me to go to bed. However, life decided to play tricks on me, sending it all to shit.

**

Las Vegas, Nevada.

My parents, my boyfriend, and I are sitting on a table at a big hall near the Caesars Palace' Colosseum; holding hands, almost praying. We're waiting for someone from the staff members to call out my name, the rest of the contestants had already auditioned, and there was nobody else left in the room. I wrapped my boyfriend's arm around me to stop my shivering; pressing my ear against his shoulder to reduce the sound of slot machines coming from behind a huge-red door. I felt like a small hamster trapped in a box 500 times its size, the place looked like a Greek courtyard, decorated with astonishing sets of fake flowers, and those type of pillars you see inside the temple of Athena. To bad that the echo was becoming unbearable and was not helping with my nerves.

I was wearing a brand-new white dress with small-golden stars, scattered through its soft silk, and the number eighty-eight attached to the front. My stomach started hurting, not just because of the noise, but because I was about to perform a song, my singing teacher said, we almost grew a penis out of excitement. It's a very intense and difficult song for me to interpret, but every time I was close to chicken-out, I remembered to put my balls on. My teacher would rip my internal organs-out if she learned I acted like a pussy.

"You're going to blow them away babe," Mason praised, sitting closer to me.

"I just hope the judges aren't tired after watching eighty-seven performances," I said.

"No sweetie, the best is always saved for the end," my mother smiled, sending me a kiss.

"They won't know what hit them," my father said, laying back confidently in his chair.

I took this little moment to reflect about my parents' and my boyfriend's words. Sort of felt like a little déjà vu here. I just loved that my parents were so supportive of me. Maybe a little exaggerated at times. But, as a single child, I've always got what I wanted, when I wanted. They never even punished me, not even if I was wrong or went against their plans. They just agreed to everything I said. Nobody else in our family approved this, of course. They told them I was going to grow-up to become a selfish monster. And they're probably right, but I don't give a shit. We went separate ways and my parents told me that they're as good as dead.

I'm to my parents, like the ring is to Gollum; something so damn precious, that not even the voice of their own family, could prevent them for loving me as they desired. Funny thing is, I love it, I have everything I wanted in life. A hot cliché boyfriend, a very expensive car, the coolest friends, a big-ass house in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods; and now, I want America's eyes to look just at me. I want fame and power; I want to look at those below me and show them how great of a singer I am. I'll show them what true talent looks like. Ha! Eat your own throw-up Jackie Evancho!

One small detail though, I still can't understand why the hell I can't remember more about my past. It's like, if someone had just erased my entire childhood from my memory. That's the only thing my parents won't talk about; the only thing I can't have. The key that opens the door to God knows what. I freakin' hate it when I force myself to remember and can't come up with a single clue, it's so frustrating.

My dad raised his hand towards me and dragged me out of my mental notes. Just as I gave him a high-five, I noticed that someone else entered the room. It was a guy wearing huge headphones and carrying a thick list on his hand. He was speaking through a small microphone and nodded towards us. "Nadine Henderson?" the man asked.

"Oh my God! This is it!" I said, jumping to my feet and screaming like a crazy person.

"We're with you sweetie, right beside you!" my mother said, equally excited.

"This way folks," the man said, leading us to a door at the bottom of the hall.

Walking besides my family and staring at everything we found on our path; we moved like a group of terrified puppies into the darkness. The man led us to a place filled with cables, props, lights, and big pieces of scenery.

The crowd cheered weakly. There was loud electronic music playing; making me feel as if we were about to enter a football stadium, there was too much noise coming from all directions. As I heard the commotion and smelled burnt light bulbs, my hands got sweaty. There was an unsteady feeling coming from my neck that was paralyzing me from top to bottom.

We reached a big screen that showed the stage, decorated with golden lights, flowery patterns, and long columns at the side. It was built almost to look like an old-Greek amphitheater.  The judges and the audience were clapping vaguely towards the cameras; they all sounded a little bit tired.

I kind of felt my senses magnifying, almost to the point I could hear my family's hearts, bumping and thumping inside their bodies. But I think mine had already stopped. We focused our attention to the screen, where we notice one of the most famous judges of all time, Simon, turning around to speak towards the public.

"Today's afternoon is very special. I want to remind our audience, and our viewers, that thanks to the Care Foundation, directed by Paul McIntyre, we're able to invite some amazing guests," Simon said, standing up.

The screens surrounding the theater showed a group of skinny people sitting down in the front row, some of them in wheelchairs, and others wearing oxygen masks. They also looked like they were about to die. How the hell did they let all these people in here, we're going to catch something.

The lights dimmed a little, and the cameras turned towards Simon again, who was clapping steadily towards the guests. The other judges simply looked like they were begging for a plane to crash, so that they would meet their maker. My nerves where pumping-up even more, now I had the challenge to not just entertain these people, but to bring them back to whatever hell they went too.

"Our guests don't surrender easily; they're men, women and children, who need our help to access special treatment. If you wish to contribute, please call the number on your screen," Simon said, making a short pause and turning to face another camera. "And now, our last performer. She comes all the way from the beautiful city of Belleville, Illinois. Please welcome, Nadine Henderson!"

The audience clapped as if they were trying to kill a fly in midair. I froze for a second and leaned against my family as close as I could. I think they're all about to die of boredom, they're totally gonna hate me!

"Go on Nadine!" my father shouted, giving me a small push on my back. 

"We'll be right here sweetie," my mother said, as she kissed my forehead.

"Mom, Dad, I can't!"

At that moment, Mason held me close to his face, stared at me for a second and kissed me. We caught ourselves in the moment as the stage lights danced on top of us. After a whole minute, he stepped back and whispered, "I love you." My face was burning, my hands where shaking, and my throat was sore. The combination of love and nerves is a little bit shitty to describe, it's almost as if you were halfway near the bathroom and discovering that you sharted. I don't know how I managed to do it, but I smiled at Mason and placed a foot inside the stage; letting his hand go. The freaking lights and the music they put together, didn't matched the audience's enthusiasm. I've probably seen more energy in my poetry lessons. God, what the fuck am I doing here!?

As I walked towards the microphone and try to walk like a normal human being, I caught a man staring at me from the wings, off the right side of the stage. It didn't look like someone from the staff; he looked like someone from the audience. The light behind him, made it impossible for me to see his face. He just stood there like a solid rock, it was creeping the hell-out of me. What the fuck is these dude's problem? He looks like a murderer from those 80's or 70's movies.

"Hello," Simon said, calmly, holding his hands together in front of him.

I didn't answer, I kept looking at the guy hidden in the shadows. I was now praying for my safety, he was following me with his eyes, I could tell, because he kept his head turning towards me. Still he stood there like a demon in the shadows. Is he lost? Is he looking for someone?

"Nadine?" Simon asked.

I snapped out of it, and quickly turned to face the judges. "Oh, sorry."

"You look a bit nervous, is everything alright?"

"No, not really."

The audience chuckled. Still sounding like dying rats, but they tried.

"It's ok, try to relax and just talk to us for a second, ok?"

I felt like an idiot. Standing in the middle of a spotlight, holding my hands crossed in front of me and avoiding the light. I could barely see the audience or the judges, I felt my eye lids squeezing together like lemons. Now, I was more preoccupied in my face' expression. I bet that back in my hometown, my friends where laughing at me, for sure. I felt I was doing the same face when I smelled one of dad's farts.

"So, what do you do in Belleville?" Simon asked, holding a pencil near his face. 

"Well, have fun with my friends."

"Really? What do you do with your friends?"

"Anything that gets our neighbors annoyed."

The crowd laughed a little louder this time, but still with the energy of an old turtle.

"That's great darling, and who did you come with?" Simon said, showing me a beautiful white smile.

"My parents and my boyfriend, back there," I said, pointing at them.

The screens around the theater showed my family, standing nervously in front of the camera, who waved their hands slowly and looked as if they didn't want to appear on television. I took this opportunity to quickly turn my head around and check if the strange man was still looking at me, but all I could see were the lateral lights of the stage, which blinded me for a few seconds as soon as I saw them. The creep was gone.

"That's a beautiful family you got there Nadine. They look excited for you," Simon complimented.

"Yes, yes they are," I said, while turning my head quickly to look back at Simon.

"And well, final question. What are you doing here? What's the dream?"

"I'm here because I'm going to be the greatest singer in the country," I gloated, shaking a little bit of nerves away.

The audience cheered, still as if they were drowning on a 5-inch pool or something. I could tell Simon was making his best to lighten-up the mood. But it was like trying to lift a truck by himself. I could see that some people from the audience had enough and stood-up and started walking towards the exit. That just made me want to take a dump on their mouths. How dare they miss my performance?

"Wow! I sure love your determination. That means you'll be singing today, right?"

I nodded, pressing my lips together and putting my hands behind my back. Could you please stop asking questions and get-on with it? I'm so close to shooting these people dead! My nerves are boiling me alive!

"What's the name of the song, darling?"

"A song from the Italian composer Pietro Mascagni from Cavalleria Rusticana, it's called 'voi lo sapete, o mamma'."

The audience gasped. I think they were hoping for some Madonna or Britney Spears crap, anything that would wake them up, but instead, they had to put-on for some classical high-class bullshit they've never heard off in their lives. A little culture won't hurt you, assholes!

"Wow! You certainly picked a beautiful song, can't wait to hear it. The stage is yours Nadine!" Simon said, trying to light-up the mood.

I smiled and felt my stomach hurting again. I saw the people from the Care Foundation looking at me.  The entire theater went silent in a second, as the lights from the audience dimmed a little, and the spotlight hit my face like a harpoon would go through the insides of a whale.

A melody started, filled with strings, wooden and metal instruments. It was the prelude to a most devastating scene, where Santuzza recognizes she's no longer loved. I dived into her character, her impotence, and her determination to show all the remaining pieces of her feelings.

My hands were shaking, my bones tightened, and my voice filled the theater with an enchanting spell; captivating every single person in the audience.

A soft and steady vibration moved from my body towards the crowd, I felt my soul dancing around in every corner. As I sang, I confessed that the man I loved, loved me no more; he had been seduced by another woman. Feeling Santuzza's pain, her despair, as I told mamma Lucia that the conflict had brought one of the deadliest poisons of all, envy, water filled my eyes. But I controlled my breath and kept on singing. 

This woman took my love. I have been left alone and distraught; with nothing but my own shadow to guide me through the unfairness of life. She humiliated me; she took him away.

I wished my teacher was here to see me, she'd be so proud.

I felt like a bird, who just won its wings, and was ready to travel into the horizon.

This is one of the reasons I began to sing in the first place, it's almost indescribable. Although I'm singing a song filled with anger, despair, and frustration. I couldn't stop feeling joy and fulfillment. It's awkward, I know. But I felt as if magic was possible. The lyrics always made me remember the time when I believed that I was going to be forever alone, because I usually sucked at relationships.

The more I kept on singing and feeling how my body floated with each of the notes I performed, I noticed something rather odd. The people in the audience didn't looked so bored anymore, they had their eyes wide opened, and were smiling towards me. All the judges were trying to keep a straight face and to stay impartial during their evaluation. But they all looked happy and cheerful out of nowhere. I must be nailing it!

As I reached the ending, my voice delivered an easy and steady vibrato, just as I sang the final words, 'I cry, and I cry'. I finished with one hand touching my chest, and the other pointing softly towards the crowd. I was breathless and made sure to end as dramatically as possible.

The music finished. I felt shivers all over my body. I've reached the impossible high 'D' note my teacher and I studied for months.

I saw the audience frowned, unable to clap, unable to cheer, their faces looked as if they were suddenly unplugged. Even the judges stood still. For a moment, I thought everybody had hated my performance, I couldn't tell if they enjoyed it or if they went back to boredom-land. Simon, being the most serious of them all, gave me a steady look and didn't even blink. There was a deep silence for a about three minutes. Wake the fuck up!

The people from the Care Foundation were the first ones to stand-up, applauding and cheering loudly. The entire audience followed, and then the judges continued the celebration. I couldn't believe it; they were going crazy. This is ridiculous, a few minutes earlier they looked like they were about to commit suicide. I laughed and cried out of happiness. Mason and my parents cheered for me as well. They loved it; they really did.

"Thank you, thank you so much!" I said through the microphone, drying the tears from my face.

"Wait! Wait!" A guy screamed from within the crowd.

The theater bathed itself in silence once more, as several eyes turned around to see the disturbed gentleman. He was kind of a chubby bald guy, wearing a dark-blue suit, who appeared standing in front of the judges. "This man can walk! He stood up from his wheelchair!" he screamed, pointing out at a guy from the Care Foundation.

The crowd chatter with one another, not sure of how they should react to such a statement; some of them where even laughing. The man grabbed one of the judge's microphones and faced the crowd. "It's impossible, he's quadriplegic!" he yelled again.

At that moment, Simon stood-up and looked dubious. "Now, wait a minute, is that true?"

"Simon, I'm Paul McIntyre, the director of the foundation, I've known this man for years, it's a miracle what just happened!" He screamed.

"Can somebody hand over a microphone to the man that 'can walk again', please?" Simon said, amused.

My parents and I looked at each other trying to figure out what to do, I was so confused. What was going on? What is this? Is this part of the show or something? I walked backwards, away from the judges table and breathed heavily, there must be an explanation for this.

"Sir, can you tell us your name and confirm all this? Please tell us it's a joke from the foundation," Simon said.

"No, sir. It's true. My name is James Goodman, I've been quadriplegic for five years. It was this young lady's voice who made me walk again," the man said. "I felt a weird vibration through my body as I heard her sing, I've never felt anything like it. It just made me stood-up."

At that moment, everybody stared at me. I was abashed by the statement. Laughing and holding my hands together. I stood in front of the microphone near me and said, "oh, come on! I wasn't that good, was I?"

"It's a miracle!" Somebody screamed from the audience.

There were no more eyes looking at Paul Macintyre or at the man who could walk again. Everybody was looking at me. Sometimes I hate it when God takes my wishes too literal.

"She cured the man with her voice?" a woman inquired.

"She could cure anyone from anything?" a man asked.

These two questions started-up a rampage of gossip amongst the crowd. Everybody started making their own conclusions and stories about my voice, and about how could I cure loved ones or themselves from current diseases. I was entering a state of panic, the audience babble was becoming louder and louder. I was almost out of breath; my heart was so close to come out of my chest. My parents stepped inside the stage and took a hold of me. The assumptions and reckless ideas spread faster than an airborne virus. I started hearing conversations about me helping them cure people. I really would like to wake-up from this nightmare now please!

My parents and Mason started to pull me away from the stage. But as soon as the people noticed we were planning to bail-out, they started screaming at us.

"Wait! Please! help us!" some of them yelled at the same time.

You've got to be fucking kidding me! "Why would I have the power to do that!" I screamed.

A bunch of staff members appeared out of nowhere and hurried towards us, hopefully to take us out of the amphitheater. My bones where coming out of my skin, they moved quicker than a speeding train, I was so out of my mind by now. They dragged us out of the stage; pushing us and telling us to move quickly.

In just a few seconds, the crowd roared at us. They got out of control, climbed up the stage, and moved like a stampede of wild elephants.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats!" Simon shouted.

But it was too late, the crowd was running towards us. In just a matter of seconds they collided with the staff members and us. We were being dragged by a river of humans; we all pressed against each other as the staff members prevented people from coming closer to me. I could not breath, they were squeezing us all together. The more we struggled the more it became difficult to reach the big-red door that led to the hotel's casino. Lights fell and broke on the floor; the rooms decorations were being destroyed as the audience rushed towards me.

Mason got pulled away from us, as the crowd pushed and pushed us towards the exit. He tried with all his might to come back with me, but the mob was careless and passionate about this whole stupid idea. Mason was left without a choice but to start kicking and punching people out of his way. But he only managed to piss several men off and got beaten-up for doing that.

"Nadine!" Mason howled, still punching and kicking people in the audience.

"Mason!" I shouted, again.

I begged for as long as I could, but those bastards didn't even let me say goodbye. We finally reached the red door and kicked it open. I stretched my hand out, trying to reach Mason, but he was already far away from me. The staff members pulled my arm back to the center of our circle and said to keep my hands to myself, for my own safety. Mason was left right in the middle of a mob that couldn't stop yelling my name. Although he fought endlessly, it was impossible for him to reach us. In less than a minute, he vanished into a sea of faces.

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