60. YADEIN

HOUSTON, 2023

“Tu hi tu har jagah, aaj kal kyun hai

Tu hi tu har jagah, aaj kal kyun hai

Raaste har dafaa, sirf tera pataa

Mujhse pooche bhala kyun hai..

“Oye hoye! Romantic mode han!” I giggled as he started singing, he held my hand in his softly and spun me round…. Making the clothes fell off my hands and then pulled me softly into him.

We just lost into each others eyes as my feet moved in sync of his movement holding his hand and the other keeping over his heart… beating calmly under the warmth of my hand.

Huaa nahi pehle kabhi yeh

Chuaa nahi dil ko kisi ne

Har aarzoo tu hi

Chain-o-sukoon tu hi

Main toh kahoon

Tu hi ….. hai zindagi

Naa main apna raha

Naa kisi aur ka

Aisa mere Khuda kyun hai

His voice was magic around me and I just got lost into his trance… the trance of his love, his presence. He spun me round and round, moving with me as I went into circles in the room. his hand holding mine above my head while the other held at the back of his waist as we moved together I giggled at the feelings he was giving me in the pit of my stomach.

Suddenly he pulled me back into himself and was about to sing more when the machine started beeping, we at once looked at our back, then looked at each other and I burst into laughter while he rolled his eyes, leaving my hands reluctantly.

“your romantic mode can be turned on any time… anywhere Shehry! You are too much” I shook my head, I knew I was blushing and he smiled warmly as he stepped towadrs the laundary an started taking the clothes out of it.

“yeah! see… kaam ka kam ho jata hea or romance ka romance” he winked at me, while putting the clothes in the basket and I giggled.

“and what about them?” I pointed at the small heap of clothes on the floor and he whined making a face.

“Come on! Some other time… right now am starving begum, kuch khila do yar” he said, I was about to bend down to pick them up when he suenly came forward and held my arm softly.

“oye! Wait… let me do it” he hurriedly bent down and I smiled at him.

“Its okay Shehry! I can do it” I said slowly, he looked up at me and stood up smiling back warmly.

“I know, you are the superwoman of my life” he put the clothes in another basket and then holding my arms in his hands he pulled me into him, I rested my hands on his chest looking into his eyes…. “but right now, this superwoman needs to be a little cautious, I don’t want this little champ to do any hanky panky with you” he looked down at my tummy and I giggled pinching his cheek lightly.

“tum ho to phir koi hanky panky ho he nai sakti” I wrapped my arms around his neck and he bent down touching my nose with his, playfully and I smile.

“Dad!... Dad!where have you gone?” we hurriedly got straight up as we heard him yelling at the top of his lungs and I looked at Shehry narrowing my eyes as he shut his tightly, smacking his forehead.

“Shittt!” he said and took a step back he hurried towards the door.

“What happened Shehry?” I asked and he grabbed a towel hurriedly.

“yaarr! Ek to tume dekh ker sab bhool jata hea mujhe” he made a face… “Aayan is in the bath tub and I came to get a towel for him” he said smiling cheekily and I rolled my eyes, My God!

“Dad! Towel…. Mom!” Ayaan yelled out again and I eyed Shehry.

“ufff! Shehry! Usey thand lag jae gi… go run now” I said and he ran out of the laundary room while I shook my head sighing.

“Aaa gaya hero! Hold your horses” I heard Shehry yelling out and I smiled.     

6 years!.. so much love and affection, ajeeb bat hea insaan kis tarah kisi se manoos ho jata hea pata he nai chalta. Aj 6 saal sath guzarne k bad lagta hea jese… jesey mein saan k bager kuch lamhen zinda reh sakti hoon mager Shehryaar k bina naheen!..... saanson se bhi ziada qeemati ho gaya hea us ka sath mere liye.

Shehryaar Asif! The love of my life, no… actually my life! Bus sudhrey ga kabhi nai ye banda,Shehry and his aawargi. I chuckle at my own thouths as I dragged the wheeler basket to the corner of the room and stepped out of the room, turning the lights off.

WAQAS’S POV

“Dude! Trust me your dad used to hide from his school and in the mornings specially he used to made silly excuses… Mom! Pait mein dard hai…. Mom! Motions aa rae hen, can’t go to school” I was making idiotic faces in front of him as he kept on shaking his head.

“I don’t trust you Chachoo! My dad is superhero…...” Ayan rolled his eyes keeping his hands on his waist and I chuckled.

“Lal chadhi wala superhero” I laughed, aunty and Minahil entered into his room and Minahil gave him a spoon full of pain relief.

“yukkiiies Mom” Aayan made a cute face and I ruffled his hair, he glared at me.

“Chachoo” he yelled irritated and I chuckled… “Mom! Look at him” he complaint and Minahil eyed me in mock anger while I touched my earlobes just to satisfy Aayan.

“Dado!” Ayan went to Aunty who sat on the couch holding his hand in hers.

“Dado! Get Wiks chahoo married, find a Chachi for me” Ayan said making a face and Minahil giggled.

“Q bey? Tujhe kia masla hea meri azaadi se? Baap per gaya hea salaa!” I smacked his head lightly.

“Dado! Find a chachi so that they can have babies… and then I would tease the hell out of them as he does to me” Aayan said rolling his big brown eyes and everyone laughed aloud, while I just stared at him with my mouth and eyes open.

“Oye! Shareer insaan…. Shehry ki photocopy hea tu” I picked him up in my arms and held him high above in the air, he started yelling.

“No! put me down…. Ah! Chachoo its tickling me, put me down” Aayan yelled and for a moment, a face appeared in my mind…. my smile faded away at once. I slowly put him down and he punched me  in my abs as hard as he could.

“Ah! You wanna fight?” I bent down and he nodded showing me his cute little fists…… I was about to say something when Shehry entered in the room, with his tie in one hand and tab in the other… busy in talking.

“Oh! Yar I have told you I caught up in a hell important project man!” Shehry said looking at the tab and sat near me and Aayan. Aayan bent down in his lap and Shehry kissed his head.

“Atif! Atif! yar tu samajh he nai ra… acha chal you don’t trust me na, ask Minahil, le” Shehry said and extended his tab to Minahil, who looked at him questioningly.

“He is freaking out… we didn’t visit his place’ Shehry said sighing and Minahil took the tab. And put off the hands free.

“Hey! Atif! how are you?” She greeted with a warm smile.

“Am not fine at all Bhabi! And that’s just because of your idiot husband” Atif’s voice came and I stood at Minahil’s back, waving at Atif… he waved back.

“kesa hea saley?” I said and he smiled.

“Fit hoon yar, but seriously you people promised to come to my place… salo! Bhool gaye ho” Atif made a face and I shook my head…

“Aww! I so feel your pain man, ye Shehry  hea he aesa” Minahil said and Shehry jumped up on the couch, while me and Aunty chuckled.

“Or nai to kia? I have asked him for so many times k Shehry le chalo Atif or Sara se milane, but naheen” Minahil said and winked at Shehry who rolled his eyes.

“Bus to phir plan banaiye and don’t trust Shehry… make it with Waqas” Atif said and I gave a imaginary high five to him, he did the same.

“Exactly! And I so want to see that little angel, MashaAllah Amna is so pretty Atif” Minahil said smiling.

“where is she? and bhbai kaha hea?” I asked and he turned the camera, there she was… Amna cutest baby ever, she was just an year old. Atif and Sara’s daughter.

“Awww… Adorable she is MashaAllah!” Minahil said and blew a kiss to her.

“haaan! Tuj per shuker hea nai pariiii” Shehry yelled out aloud so that Atif could here him an I laughed.

“Nai to bechari ki nak bhi pakorra hoti”I added and Atif laughed a loud.

“how is Aayan bhabi?” Atif asked and I looked at him, who was in Shehry’s lap playing with his tie… trying to make him wear it.

“Yeah! Aayan is fine, just a little stomach cramps he had, so he is at home today” Minahil smiled looking at Ayan.

“han ye lo!”…. Minahil said and extended the phone towards Aayan…. “Aayan! Bachey Ati Chachoo” Aayan took the phone excitedly getting up from Shehry’s lap and ran dunno where.

“Oye! Khotey!.... bring my phone back, need to talk to Mark” Shehry yelled out and Aunty shot a look at him

“Khaberdar jo merey potey ko khota kaha!....” Aunty glared at him and he rolled his eyes.

“bilkul Mom! Samjhaen Shehry ko… pata nai kia kia nam se bulate hen mere betey ko…..” Minahil made a face and Aunty again glared at Shehry who shook his head.

“Come on! tumhara beta? kia matlab net se download kia tha tum ne Akeley?” Shehry said, his eyes dancing and Minahil’s gasped while blushing a little…… “hamara beta begum!” he added smiling and Minahil threw a coushion at him.

“So, going to Atif’s place? When?” I asked and Shehry looked at me raising his eyebrows.

“WE are going man!... I mean all of us” He said and I shook my head.

“No way! Dude, am leaving for LA this 17, so can’t come” I told him and he shook his head.

“Beta ji! I have to submit my tender quotation on 14th, so definitely we will go before that… tu fikr he na ker” Shehry explained.

“Shehry beta! don’t leave without breakfast….” Aunty said and got up, Shehry nodded his head smiling.

“Mom! Kia banaen aj nashtey mein/ mujhe to samajh he nai aa raha” Minahil also stood up and Aunty smiled.

“Aloo k parathey bana lete hen… Aayan would love that” Aunty said and Minahil nodded.

“Oye! Begum….” They were about to leave when Shehry called her and made a puppy face at her… showing her his tie and Minahil shook her head sighing.

“you forgot Minahil? You have a 32 year old son as well” Aunty said very seriously and Minahil laughed while Shehry made a face.

“lao! Koi hal nai tumhara Shehry…. Kab barey ho ge tum?” Minahil sat next to him and took the tie in her hands.

“And you Waqas! We are visiting him for the first time.. he will feel bad agar tum nai chalo ge, its been years you people didn’t meet at all…. dil nai kerta tum logo ka?” Minahil tied the knot saying, I looked down. han nai kerta… dil nai kerta milne ka, Hussain k bager kisi bhi dosti kisi bhi yari ka dil nai kerta.

“Yar! Shehry you people go… I don’t feel like going” I said slowly and Shehry put his hand on mine.

“Waqas! Hussain is coming too” Shehry said slowly and I felt I heard something wrong, I looked up at his face at once and he nodded slowly.

“Its Ifa…. And its in Chicago this year. 12th feb is the date” Shehry told me and I looked at Minahil who looked equally stunned at the news.

“But… But wo mile ga hum se?” Minahil asked.

“Mile ga nai… hum milen ge, Atif has told me he is arranging for the tickets” Shehry said.

“Kab chalna hea?” I asked and he smiled.

“what about 5th?” Shehry asked looking at us and I looked at Minahil, I had no objections at all, mera bus chalta to abhi urr ker puhanch jata.

“Yeah! cool, my case is prolonged to a few more weeks so am completely free” Minahil said and we smiled.

“Done then… 5 is the date” Shehry said and was getting up from the couch when suddenly he stopped and looked at Minahil….then looked at me “udher dekh tu” he said and I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Thanks love” Bending down he pecked her cheek touching his tie and her eyes went wide, I tried to hide my grin.

“Saley! Haya ker liya ker thori” I yelled out as he headed out of the room chuckling.

“Yar ye kahan chala gaya ub!... Aayan! Aayan! bachey Dad needs the phone back… where are you?” Shehry headed out of the room  looking for Aayan and we sat there, silent looking down.

“Shehry seldom talks about him Waqas, buhat chup chup, buhat khamosh ho gaya hea Hussain k jane k bad” Minahil said looking down, pain evident in her tone.

“Obviously Minahil! Shehry and Hussain were like two sides of the same coin… impossible to survive alone” I said looking up at her face… “and here he is, 6 years and Hussain didn’t come back, not even once. Its so difficult for him to bare this void in his life” I added and Minahil nodded her head.

“I wonder Hussain kese jeer aha ho ga” she said almost to herself and I sighed.

“Yeah! its so evident from the characters he plays now days in his movies….” I said disapprovingly shaking my head…. “Aashiq, Shair, broken and shattered, full of pain and dejection. Sala bilkul he majnoo nikla” I added.

“yeah! but he looked amazing in laddaakh!Army Uniform suited him well” Minahil said and I smiled nodding my head.

“Han seriously he nailed it… and I hope he gets the ifa this year as well” I said excitedly and she smiled nodding her head.

6 years have been past and we didn’t meet, not even once… we even been to India once but he didn’t meet us, his secretary said he didn’t want to meet anyone. To say that it hurt is definitely an understatement. I was in utter shock when he refused to meet us but yeah somehow maybe he was right… maybe he was avoiding his past, maybe he wanted to avoid and forget his past…. But it hurts to even think that WE have become his past.

INDIA 2023.

He was holding my hand in his, the other wrapped around my waist.I looked up into his eyes, shinning…. He loves me, I could feel his heart beat quickened as we stared deep into each others eyes… but what about my heart? My love? I slowly looked away and for a moment my heart beat stopped….

He was there, right in front of my eyes, sitting on a stool on the huge bar counter sipping his vine… his intense gaze fixed upon mine making it hard for me to breathe.

I gulped down the pain as he gulped the vine, down his throat in one go… and took another shot…. He did bottoms up and threw the glass on the counter making it shattered into pieces, I shivered as he did that. His gaze still on me, my grip on varun’s arm went tighter as I saw Raj coming towards us… towards me! No! I don’t want any scene here….

“can I have a dance?” Raj asked stopping near us and Varun looked at him, he smiled and stepped back leaving me with him…. my whole body trembled as his hands touched mine…I shivered at the coldness of his skin. He wrapped his arm at my back and pulled me into himself with a harsh jerk. I looked up into his eyes as they polled up… to see his pain.

“Raj! Bus karo… Stop hurting yourself! Meri engagement ho gai hea, move on, bhool jao muj

I was in the middle of my sentence when he spun me round and pulled me back to him, my back crashed to his chest and he wrapped his arms around my waist, I shut my eyes tight as he rested his chin on my shoulder.

“I can’t move on…can’t move on without your hands in mine, its complicated, Mana…..Naina!” he whispered, hurriedly correcting my name…. his voice thick and I just melted into his words.

“But I don’t want to live with you Raj! I can’t” suddenly his grip around my waist went tighter and I felt pain…. He spun me back and now I was facing him… his face… his pain!

“But I love you…..” he whispered looking deep into my eyes.

“But I don’t” I uttered those words and tears started rolling down. he looked at my face and slowly let go off my hand, his arm came out of my waist and he started backing off leaving me there…

He turned back to the bar counter and smacked his hand on it, I shivered. He held up a glass in his hand and took a sip… he wasn’t looking at me at all. I slowly moved to wards him, trying to stop him…. stop him from killing himself.

“Wow! Naina… you look amazing with varun. Congratulations” I held my hand on his shoulder, going near him when suddenly a friend came wishing me and I smiled.

“Such a perfect Jodi you two are han!” she added and I looked slowly at Raj! Who was looking down at the glass in his hand, his grip firm on that and face muscles stiff.

“yeah! thanks a lot” I forced a smile.

“tell me its an arranged one yaaaa…. Love shove ho gaya bachi ko?” She asked and I felt uncomfortable at once when Varun came and stood beside me, he snaked his arm in my back and I went stiff. I just didn’t want Raj to do anything stupid here…..

“yeah! Love shove he samjh lo” Varun said smiling down at me, I couldn’t smile back and looked at raj, he looked at me… our eyes met and I felt he was up to something… something bad. His eyes blood shot and teeth gritted. Suddenly my gaze went down to his hand and I knew what was he up to….. suddenly his grip on the glass went stronger and with a sound of thrrash the glass broke up into pieces in his hand and blood oozed out…..

“Cut!... Cut it!” I screamed lightly gasping when Ekta shouted on her mike and the scene cut down.

 “Oh God! Hussain! what the hell man?” My eyes went wide at the pool of blood in front of me, his hand was soaked into blood, trembling a little and I gasped. Ekta kapoor, out movie director came running towards him.

“Hussain! what have you done man? You were supposed to act yar!” Wasif, who was playing as Varun scolded Hussain and he looked up at him, with a weak smile.

“First aid” Ekta yelled out and the spot boy who was already bringing it, came running towards us.

“Its okay! Am fine” Hussain said looking at his own blood and I shook my head,

“you are not Hussain!.... are you crazy? uff itna khoon” I bent down and looked at his hand closely, Ekta was dressing it up…

I just kept on glaring him as Ekta washed his cuts with benzene and he hissed lightly, shutting his eyes in pain.

Ekta gave a day off to Hussain from shooting and we came out of the studio, his hand was wrapped up in bandage and he looked drenched. I drove him to his apartment as his hand was not in the condition of driving at all.

“Itna sannata q hea yar? Koi mar gaya kia?” Hussain said and I shot a look at him, how could he act all cool… he was getting on my nerves now.

“Hussain! stop hurting yourself” I almost screamed and he sighed.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked as he kept quiet.

“Am doing nothing Veronica! Its just that… that the glass had poor quality crystal, itne se zor se toot gaya” Hussain made a face and I rolled my eyes.

“and do you think that I will buy this stupid excuse of yours? You can not be fool me” I pointed my finger at him, who was now lying comfortably on his couch.

“yeah! coz you are already one….a fool” He said, his eyes closed.

"tell me our seats for Chicago... are they confirmed? and for God's sake dont take that idiot boyfriend with yourself...." Hussain tried to change the topic.

“Hussain am serious, don't change the topic” I said and he slowly opened his eyes…. “kab tak chale ga ye sab?stop this, tumhen dard nai hota?” I asked, I felt my eyes were pooling up and he sat back on the couch sighing deep, he held my hand in his softly.

“Veronica! Mere liye pareshan hona band ker do…. Ye dard pasand hea mujhe” he said very seriously and I just stared his face…. “jab tak ye muj mein rahe ga na, mein zinda rahoon ga. ye khatam ho gaya to mein bhi kha..

“Nai… chup!” I couldn’t bare it any more and just hugged him tight, his words got lost in his mouth as he slowly hugged me back.

“Don’t talk rubbish Hussain Asif!” I pulled back and he smiled at me, wiping the tear away…. “take care of your hand, don’t let it get wet, okay!” I looked at his hand in bandage and he nodded his head with a smile.

“Dihan rakho apna, and sleep a bit” I said and he nodded.

“yeah! I will sleep….” He said and I looked at his face, he looked tired.

“with out those pills, okay!” I said and he looked at me at once…. “try to sleep without those bloody pills Hussain! aadat mat kharab karo apni” I said, feeling helpless in front of him and his way of life.

“I can barely sleep without them Veronica, you know this” He said and put his head on the head rest, closing his eyes…. “do char ghante bhi nai so pata un k bager” he added with a frown and I felt bad for him.

I just kept on looking at his face as he stayed like that with his eyes closed…. The most adorable man I have ever have in my life. My best friend… maybe… maybe a bit more than that. I slowly raised my hand and brought it closer to his face when he suddenly opened his eyes and looked at my hand in the air near his face…. a smirk appeared on his face making me pulling back my hand at once.

“And don’t you dare smoke once am gone” I stood up hurriedly, trying to sound cool and snatched the cigarette from his hand, he chuckled shaking his head.

“dard pasand hea na tumhen to dard ko is dhuwen se kam kerne ki koshish kun kerte rehte ho?” I said putting my hands on my waist and he slowly got up. Taking another cigarette from the packet he lit it up and I just glared him in anger.

“Kam nai kerta…. Berhata hoon, ye dhuwan acha lagta hea mujhe” Hussain said and headed towards the open window…. “is dhuwen mein us ki tasveer nazer aati hea, us tasveer ko iski rakh mein jala deta hoon, am just waiting for the day when I will get burnt myself… along with her” he let a puff of smoke out and I just stood there speechless.

I headed towards him and held his arm slowly, he looked at me with his eyebrows raised.

“Hussain promise me, you will quit it, this smoking and all…. it sucks” he chuckled.

“Don’t make me promise Veronica! You don’t know… kisi ko di hui qasam torne ka apna he maza hea” I felt he was talking to me but deep down thinking about her, I felt pain… deep down deep pain. I looked away, pulling my hand back.

I took steps back and silently left his apartment, leaving him in his trance… trance of Mannat! Maybe Hussain is still in love with her, maybe still she is living within him… and maybe there is no place for me in his heart.

us ka nam aj bhi ghalti se he sahee Hussain ki zuban per ata zaroor hea.... he still have her in his heart, all over his mind and senses.... i wonder kitna shadeed ho ga us ka piyar k 6 saal bad bhi wo hussain mein zinda hea, kia shiddat ho gi Mannat k piyar ki jo Hussain aj bhi bhula nai paya.

I know it hurts Hussain! it hurts to be hurt in love… true love. Jo pehle mujhe kabhi hua he nai… or jab hua to us se hua jo pata nai kisi saraab ka deewana hea. Us saraab k liye khud ko tabah ker raha hea….. 

ISLAMABAD

MANNAT’S END

“But Mom she just doesn't listens to me… what can I do?” I heard him saying.

“She is your wife Shehroz! Kab tak naraz rahe gi… man he jana hea ek na ek din” Taai said.

“Wo kabhi nai mane gi…. Mom let me go back to Canada, and please don’t force me to take her with me. pehle he bata chukka hoon ap ko I wont take her there.” irritation evident in his tone.

“But beta! tumhen bhi to wahan zaroorat ho gi bivi ki” Taai said

“Oho! Mom she doesn’t consider me as her husband, why don’t you understand/ Dad got his land and property… now let me go” Shehroz said and I gulped down tha pain, how could they do this to Baba, how could Taya ji do this to his brother’s will… who was dying. I hate them all… I hate you Shehroz!

“dekho beta! abhi wo bus tumhari bivi hea… kal to tumhare bachon ki maa ho gi. Kab tak naraz rahe gi wo. Tum dil na halka karo” I shivered at what taai ji said. no, never! This marriage was enforced upon me… I will never let Shehroz do that to me. Never!

I couldn’t bare it any more and ran to my room….

Kia karo gi ub Mannat?... na tum kal kuch ker paii theen na aj kuch ker pao gi, us ne shadi ker li tum se… to ye rishta kon sa mushkil hea us k liye, zaberdasti kere ga or tum nai rok  pao gi usey…kis haq se kaho gi phir k Muhabbat kerti ho Hussain se? tum Hussain or uski Muhabbat k kabil he nai raho gi….. Kuch nai ker pao gi tum… kuch nai ker pao gi tum… kuch nai k…

“Naheeee! Bus bus!...” I covered my ears with my hands, yelling.

“Go away! Leave me alone, gooooo!” I fell on the floor as tears started falling down.

Suddenly I heard knock on the door and I backed off, still on the floor… I just wanted to hide away.. I wanted to get disappeared. The knock got louder… and louder.

“Mannat!... Mannat! open the door”he was banging on the door and I could think of anything, I got up and headed towards his table drawer… opening it slowly I held it in my trembling hands and looked at the door.

“I wont let you do this Shehroz! I wont……” slowly I opened the door and he stepped in, looking at me questioningly. I took steps back keeping my hands at my back.

He stepped in and closed the door locking it and I took a few steps back…. Trying hard to stand firm on floor. He looked back at me and I gulped down in tension… fear.

“what… what are you hiding at the back?” he took a step near me and I hurriedly backed off.

“don’t come near me” I said looking at his face and he frowned.

“Why? Am your husband Mannat! I think you should accept this reality as well” he said calmly and slowly took a step towards me, making me shiver.

“Am not your wife…. Zaberdasti ka nikaha… nikah nai hota Shehroz! Or mazeed kisi zaberdasti ka soch bhi to buhat bura ho ga” I said firmly and he smiled a little.

“you are really stubborn Mannat! so unlike the rest of girls in our family…. You are like Salaar cha..

“Don’t take his name” I yelled out and he frowned, his smile faded… “don’t you dare take his name, you and your father has killed him… channd peson k liye, thori si zameen k liye bech diya tum logo ne apna he khoon. Rehman uncle told Mama everything Shehroz! How your father miss used baba’s will and made everything on your name.” I spatted and he took fast steps towards me and held my arm tightly, jerking me harshly.

“Shut up!” he glared into my eyes… “don’t forget where do you belong to, don’t raise your voice” his eyes boring in mine and I jerked my arm out of his grip.

“I don’t belong to you…. I belong to him only” I said firmly and he chuckled.

“him? Hussain? wo jo dus logo k samne tumhen talaq de gaya tha? he laughed sarcastically.

“you wont understand this Shehroz! You wont… we are connected through souls, body doesn’t mater any more now” I said and he looked at me sternly…. “Muhabbat ka matlab shadi ya sath he nai hota Shehroz! Pa lena he nai hota sab… per tum nai samjho ge coz you are not even a human” I spatted and he gulped down, I saw dark shadows in his eyes he took a step towards me and I hurriedly backed off.

“mere kareeb mat ana… am telling you to stay away Shehroz! Or else… or else…”

“or else I will shoot you” I took out the pistol and held it in front of him, my hands shaking.

“yeah? with shaking hands?” he laughed a little and tried to snatch it when I ran to the corner of the room.

“Mannat don’t be silly… give it to me, put it down” he said and started coming towards me.

“Shehroz! Don’t come… I will kill myself” I held the pistol into my own stomach and his feet halted with a frown on his face.

“Pagal ho gai ho tum?” he yelled and tried to snatch it form my hand…

“No! leave me… Shehroz! Leave me’ I yelled when he held my hand, it pained. My grip on the pistol went tighter and my finger still on the trigger.

“Mannat goli chal jae gi… leave it” Shehroz shouted, the pistol now in between our hands.

“No! let me kill myself… let me end this pain, I cant bare it any more” I yelled out crying and he tried to snatch it when all of a sudden a terrible sound made me froze in my place……

Thaaaaa!

“Mannat! beta look.. if this will good on Salaar?” I heard Mom calling me and I looked at her, unable to hear anything. She was having Salaar’s dress in her hand and her eyes fixed on it.

“Hmm! Yeah! its good” I said slowly and she looked at my face…

“Mannat! ye kia….?ye to…. Mama looked at what I was having in my hands.

“Hussain ki hea” I completed her sentence, looking down at the brown leather jacket which he made me wear on that night under rain.

“Mama! yaden itni zalim q hoti hen?itna dard q deti hen?” I asked still looking down and Mama touched my face softly.

“Mannat! you have chosen this pain for yourself… and only you can get out of it, only if you want” Mama said, sounding worried and I looked at her.

“mager ub to adat ho gai hea is dard ki Mama… ye dard, ye yadein…they have still connected me with him. ye he khatam ho gaeen to mein bhi khatam ho jaoon gi” I looked down at his jacket and rubbed my hand on it, feeling its softness… his scent, his presence in that. A tear escaped my eye and I didn’t care to rub it away.

“Mama pray for me… pray that Hussain forgives me” I almost whispered and Mama held my hands in her.

“he will Mannat! I have seen that love in his eyes for you…. that intensity in his words for you,he will forgive you meri bachi” she hugged me tight rubbing my back assuringly.

“you have done everything for him Mannat! bus ek bar usey keh ker dekha hota…” she said and I shook my head wiping the tear away and pulled back.

“I couldn’t Mama! I couldn’t… agar talaq na deta wo mujhe to taya ji… wo log pata nai kia kerte us k sath” I felt a shiver and fisted my hands in his jacket.

“that muzzle on his neck…. I could still feel the pain which I felt when I saw him like that Mama! wo log mar dete usey” my breath hitched up and Mama held my face in her hands.

“Mama! wo jahan bhi ho ga… zinda to ho ga. I know he must be in pain… but I know one day he will move on” I feel pain as I said those words…. “her namaz mein dua kerti hoon Mama, k Hussain bhool jae mujhe…. k us ka dard kam ho jae” I said looking down, few tears fell on his jacket and I wiped them away slowly.

"Mama! Shehroz kesa hai ub?" I asked slowly and she looked at my face, i tried hard to hide the pain.

"Raheel called me a couple of days back... wo bata raha tha k Shehroz is still paralysed" Mama said and i remained silent.

"Mannat beta! dont blame your self for anything... ye to un k gunaahon ki saza hea. acha hea jo duniya mein he mil gai....ye saza shaid unhen milni he thi" Mama looked down.

"But Mama! sometimes Allah gives punishments for no reasons as well.... like He punished us, me and Hussain. ya shaid Muhabbat saza he deserve kerti hea" I said looking into space and Mama shook her head.

"nai beta! i dont know why... mera dil kehta hea k ek din sab theek ho jae ga. in your life and in Hussain's life as well" I looked at Mama a strange kind of hope came in my heart but soon it burnt away... i guess all mothers think the same way, nothing gonna happen now. i have finished everything.... ub kuch nai ho sakta. I sighed deep and smiled at her slowly. 

 Guys just wanted to clear few things before heading towards the prologue…. So here was the update hope u guys liked it.

And yeah! God! I cant believe its going to end with in a few chapters :( any how love you all <3

Stay happy and blessed <3