Evelyn didn't arrive back at the flat until late afternoon on the day before New Year's Eve. Her shoulders were loaded up with bags, all of which she dropped on the floor as soon as she arrived. "Hi," she said, sounding a little breathless.

"Hi," said Sean, trying not to feel disappointed that his two days of quiet were over.

She unzipped her coat and dropped it over the back of the couch on her way around to sit by him. "How was your Christmas?" she asked, pulling her legs up to sit cross legged.

Her eyes looked brighter than they had in a while, more awake.

"It was fine," said Sean.

"What'd you do?"

Sean shrugged. "The usual Christmas things. Presents and dinner."

Evelyn waited for him to elaborate and when he didn't, Sean thought he could sense how hard she was working to keep her expression light.

"How was your Christmas?" he asked, because it seemed like a better idea to get her talking than to have her keep questioning him.

"It was really nice," she said with a smile. "I haven't seen my grandparents in a while. We all went to church on Christmas Eve and it was snowing out the windows just like it's supposed to."

"That's good," said Sean.

"Did it snow at your house?"

"A little."

"Remember last year how much snow there was at school?"

"Yeah," said Sean.

Evelyn fell quiet again. Her eyes were still wide open, but her cheeks had tensed.

She put her hands down on her knees. "Well," she said, "I guess I should go put all my things away."

"Right," said Sean. Evelyn hesitated for another moment before she got up. She went around the back of the couch and started to pick up her things again to take into the bedroom, but she put them back down, wrapped her arms around Sean from behind, and said "I'm happy to see you." Then she kissed him on the cheek and her hands slid to his shoulders as she stood upright again. She squeezed once before she left the room for real.

Sean shut his eyes for a moment. He was annoyed to find it was Caiti's voice echoing through his head. He'd heard her shouting match with their mum on Christmas and deep down, Sean knew Caiti was right. He wasn't himself.

The problem was, Sean couldn't do anything about it. He felt stuck and tired and empty and he just didn't have anything else left to give.

—-

Evelyn sat down on the edge of the bed to regroup before she started unpacking any of her things.

At home, she'd had so much time to think and plan, she'd felt hopeful again. She'd let herself feel bolstered by the holiday cheer and her family's presence and by Caiti's assurance that if Evelyn just tried harder, made Sean date her again, he would come around.

She knew she'd kind of given up the last few weeks. Maybe it wasn't fair to expect Sean to start putting in effort when she'd all but stopped trying, too.

This, she thought, was her window of opportunity. Before Sean went back to work. Now was the time for a breakthrough.

And if Evelyn could instigate that breakthrough without telling Sean how horrible she'd been feeling, that was all the better.

So Evelyn unpacked her things, steeled herself for a second attempt at normality, and headed back out to the living room with a photograph clutched in her hand.

"Look what I found when I was home," she said as she came around the couch. She tucked her feet up first, then leaned into Sean's shoulder like she used to do all the time. She held the picture out in between them. It was a photo of the two of them at King's Cross the day they'd gone home after their first year. Her mum had taken it, so it wasn't moving, but seeing it had still brought back the most vivid memories.

Sean's hair was scruffier than usual, due for a haircut, and he was at least four inches shorter than Evelyn. He hadn't had his big growth spurt yet. Evelyn had been taller than all the boys until about third year. In the picture, she looked gangly and her hair was frizzier. She had turned twelve only a few weeks before.

"We were so little," she said, when Sean hadn't reacted in any way for almost a whole minute.

Still Sean was quiet for a long time and Evelyn wanted to panic, but he was actually looking at the picture, not just disregarding it.

When it seemed like he wasn't going to say anything at all, Evelyn set the picture down beside her on the cushions and that was when Sean finally spoke. "Wish we could go back," he said. "Do it all again."

She couldn't decide if these words were good or bad.

She worked one arm behind his back so she could hug him around the middle. It took a minute, but Sean's arms went around her, too and Evelyn's heart quickened.

—-

On New Year's Eve, the four of them got together one last time at Marlowe's house. Caiti would be back at school in three days and Sean and Evelyn were both back to work on the second. Marlowe, however, still had a month before quidditch started up again in February.

He was downright depressed that Caiti was leaving again. It had been so nice, having her around. He'd gotten used to it already and he was keen to get in as much time with her as he could manage before she went back.

Caiti didn't seem to be paying any attention whatsoever to Marlowe though. She was keeping a very close eye on Evelyn instead, so close an eye that he would have called Evelyn an outright liar if she'd said she hadn't noticed. She had to have felt it.

Evelyn seemed in better spirits than she had when he'd seen her before Christmas, but she didn't seem quite right either. She was trying exceptionally hard.

Marlowe wouldn't normally have noticed this, he didn't think, except that it was in such stark contrast to the Evelyn he'd always known.

When they'd been kids, Evelyn had sat very close to Sean in the common room because she was always so cold and the good seats by the fire always got snatched up by the sixth and seventh years. It had never even occurred to her to be embarrassed that he was a boy.

He still remembered going to bed one night in their third year and finding Evelyn fast asleep atop the covers of Sean's four poster for the first time. They'd been studying for some test or another that Marlowe had probably decided to wing. He'd asked Sean if he was going to wake her up, but he'd just moved her textbook off the bed and let her stay there. It had made Marlowe's stomach feel squirmy just thinking about sharing a bed with a girl all night, but neither of them had batted an eye the next morning.

As friends, Sean and Evelyn had been so natural, so seamless. To see her now thinking about every move she made before she made it... it was uncomfortable.

Sean, meanwhile, was not trying at all. Earlier that week he had at least tried to act like he was having a good time, like he wanted to be there. Honestly, Marlowe was kind of wishing he had not invited them. He and Caiti would have had a lot more fun without them.

It was nearly midnight now. Caiti had started yawning every few seconds and it was rubbing off on him. He slumped down low in the couch cushions and Caiti settled down with him, her feet up on the coffee table. They held hands, but otherwise they didn't touch.

The man on the radio was getting more and more jazzed about the approaching countdown. There were five minutes to go. He'd started interviewing the witches and wizards gathered in Diagon Alley for the holiday and they all said a lot of generic things about the energy of the crowd and their New Year's Resolutions that wouldn't last.

"What about you?" he asked, turning his head to Caiti. "You got a resolution?"

She twisted her lips to one side in thought. "Get Edison more exercise," she said finally and Marlowe grinned. Edison was the pygmy puff he'd bought her for her birthday the year before.

"Edison literally never stops exercising. He jumps like twenty four seven."

"Well sure, but maybe he'd take a rest every now and then if I had him out more. He needs structured play."

"We'll make him an obstacle course tomorrow," said Marlowe through another yawn.

Caiti started giggling at the thought.

"There's a muggle pet shop not far from here. They've got hamster wheels and tubes and stuff. He'd be a riot on one of those wheels."

Caiti smiled. "I can picture it."

A big cheer came through the radio. They were down to two minutes.

"What about you, Ev?" Marlowe asked. "Got any big important resolutions this year?"

Evelyn looked at Sean. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I just want to spend more time together." Then after a pause she added, "All of us," even though it was pretty clear who she was really talking about.

All three of them were looking at Sean now, but he kept his mouth shut and pretended not to notice. He had barely said a word all night.

When the New Year struck, none of them were ready for it. The silence around them was thick, only broken by the ruckus on the radio. Some jazz band was playing a celebratory song, but Marlowe barely heard it.

It had actually been 2019 for almost a whole minute before Caiti turned to Marlowe and kissed him. "Happy New Year," she said. Marlowe pulled her into a hug and felt very thankful for her.

Over her shoulder, he watched Evelyn watch Sean, watched her wait to see if he would say anything at all to her, let alone kiss her. Caiti's arms loosened from around him and she settled down on his shoulder. Across from them, Sean sat up. Evelyn's countenance lifted for a split second before Sean said, "We should probably get going."

Evelyn's face froze. Even Marlowe's heart stopped. He wanted to say something, snap Sean out of it. But he didn't even know what he could say.

Sean got up and put his coat and shoes on, apparently oblivious to the fact that Evelyn still had not moved at all. Caiti sat up, staring at him with her mouth open. "Sean," she said.

He glanced at her, but that was all.

"Seriously?" asked Caiti. "You're just going to leave?"

"We've all been falling asleep for an hour," Sean said. No one knew what to say to that. "Are you coming, Evelyn?"

Marlowe thought she would get up and go with him but Evelyn said, "No. No, not yet." Her voice was surprisingly steady.

"Fine," said Sean, and he left, just like that.

The sound of his disapparation rang through the room. Caiti and Marlowe both stared at the spot where he'd just been in disbelief, but Evelyn's eyes were cast down on her lap, though she still sat up very straight.

"Ev, I don't even know what to say," Caiti said. Tears started to slip down Evelyn's cheeks and Caiti was up in an instant.

Caiti was up in an instant. She wrapped her arms around Evelyn and squeezed her tight. This only made her cry harder.

"You say the word and I'll go punch him. Or better yet, I'll hex him. What good hexes do we know?"

Marlowe put his hand over his mouth and nose, staring at the floor.

"What the fuck," he said softly.

Caiti guided Evelyn over the couch and sat her down between the two of them. They both put their arms around her and Evelyn tried to mop up her tears without much success. "I'm trying so hard," she sniffled. "I don't know what else to do. I don't know what I did."

"Honestly, Ev..." Marlowe said. "I don't think it's you at all. He's acting like a jerk to everyone."

Caiti nodded her agreement. "Something's up with him. He's not himself."

"I don't know," Evelyn said quietly. "It feels like it's because of me."

"First of all," said Caiti sharply, "It's not. So stop thinking that right now. Secondly, you're sure you don't want me to talk to him?" Caiti asked.

Evelyn shook her head. "I need to fix it," she said. "I've always been to get him to open up to me before."

She dabbed under her eyes with the back of her hand and blinked a bunch of times. Marlowe gave Evelyn a squeeze, patted her shoulder, and looked at Caiti behind Evelyn's head. She gave her head a little shake like she was at a loss, too, and then they all three stared forward in heavy silence. It had not been a particularly fun New Year's.

—-

Evelyn was pretty relieved that Sean was asleep when she got home. It would have been hard to hide the fact that she'd been crying. The next morning though, she almost wished he hadn't been.

He'd gotten up much earlier than her, at the time his alarm usually went off for work, but Evelyn, worn out from crying, had felt like her eyes were glued shut and hadn't been able to follow for another hour or two. By the time she did make her way out of bed, he was already sitting at the kitchen table with a stack of files in front of him.

"You're working?" she asked, coming out of the bedroom still in her pajamas with her hair twisted up in a messy bun.

"Yeah, just got a few things I should do before we're back in the office tomorrow." His voice had that same distracted quality she'd grown accustomed to over the past few months.

"Right," Evelyn said. She poured herself a glass of water and sat down opposite him at the table. In school, they had always sat side by side in the Great Hall. She'd kept it up when they'd first move, but hadn't done that in a long time now.

She held her cup in both hands, kept taking breaths like she was about to say something, and always decided not to. Sean's wall might have retracted just the tiniest bit over the holidays, but it was back up now and Evelyn felt like her chance to get through to him had gone.

—-

The following morning, Sean awoke half an hour before his alarm went off. Evelyn was sound asleep next to him and the room was perfectly quiet. He stared up at the ceiling. His mind felt blank, but not blank like he was relaxed.

He felt like his thoughts were swimming through molasses trying to spark anything in his brain. The very thought of stepping back into the office filled him with a dread so deep he felt paralyzed. When his alarm did go off, Sean couldn't even roll over to turn it off. Evelyn rolled from her side to her back, pushed her hair out of her face, and blinked her eyes open.

Still, Sean let the alarm keep going.

He felt her hand on his shoulder. "Hey," she said, her voice crackly with sleep. "It's time to-" Then she stopped. "Oh," she said. "You're awake."

Sean's heart started pounding. What excuse did he have not to do this? How could he stall the day from coming?

Evelyn reached across him for his wand and the beeping of the alarm ceased all at once. The room seemed extra still and quiet after that.

Sean took a few shallow breaths, moved just his fingers around to see if he could even manage that, and then forced himself to get up. Evelyn's hand dropped from his shoulder.

She sat up on her knees. He could feel her eyes on his back as he headed for the bathroom to get ready for work.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Her voice cut across the quiet of the room and Sean actually stopped. He almost told her.

"Yeah," he said. "Just not used to waking up early anymore, I guess." Which was a lie because he'd gotten up just fine the previous morning with less sleep, but Evelyn didn't push it.

—-

There was a strategic meeting first thing that morning. Sean was not, luckily, leading this one in any way, but it still meant sitting in a room with Rhett for an hour or so and that was not precisely the way he'd have chosen to begin his first day back.

"Ah, Champ's back," he said, clapping Sean on the back as they all filed into the conference room. "How was the holiday, then? You and that girlfriend of yours get in some good quality time?"

Sean did not like the look Rhett gave him at all. All he said was, "It was nice, thank you," and then took a seat and opened up his notebook to a fresh page. He took a quill out. Opened his ink pot. Tried not to look at anyone in case he got sucked into a conversation that Rhett might take advantage of. Hated himself for allowing one person to make him so afraid.

When the meeting started, Sean was relieved.

He made notes of all the things he was now being made responsible for, contributed the conversation just enough to look like he knew what was going on, tried to keep track of all the changes they made to the projection calendar, and tried not to keep looking at the clock.

His ears buzzed and he felt hot and feverish. This place had started to affect physical symptoms in him. He almost didn't notice when the meeting was dismissed.

Suddenly, it seemed like the room was too loud. Chairs were clattering and people were laughing and talking, and notebooks were being snapped shut. Sean jerked to his feet, hurrying to gather his own things.

Then someone clapped him on the back again. Sean didn't see who, but he already knew it was Rhett. He was forever clapping Sean on the back. Hard, too. Hard enough to hurt. Hard enough that it felt aggressive disguised as friendly.

"You doing alright there, Champ? Seem a little anxious today."

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Hard to get back into the swing of things? Got used to sleeping in?"

"No," Sean said. "I'm fine."

"Bet your girlfriend's sad you're back to work, is she?"

"She's back to work, too," Sean said. He refused to look in Rhett's direction. Why was he always singled out this way? Why was it that Rhett could have conversations with other people but every time he talked to Sean it was an interrogation?

"What's she do, anyway? Secretary?"

Sean wanted to punch him. Not that there was anything wrong with being a secretary. It was what Jenny did and for an eighteen or nineteen year old new Hogwarts grad, it was a perfectly acceptable job. But Rhett said it like it was synonymous with hooker.

"No," Sean said. He started walking towards his office. He didn't really want to tell Rhett anything about Evelyn. He didn't like to think that someone like that knew anything about her. It was why he hadn't invited Evelyn to go to the office Christmas party even though he knew Evelyn had been upset when he'd told her he was going. He hadn't wanted to go at all, but he certainly wasn't going to put Evelyn in front of his boss and let him goggle over her and make his would-be friendly comments that were really all jeers.

But Rhett wasn't going to leave Sean alone without an answer to his question, so he said, "She works with kids" and left it at that.

"Ah," Rhett said. "Nurturing type. Bet she's real sweet. You should bring her round sometime."

Sean made a non-committal sound.

"I'll see you for our one-on-one tomorrow," Rhett said.

"Yeah," said Sean, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. He took a few more steps backward down the hall and when Rhett started to go the other way to his own office, Sean picked up the pace.

When he was safely back in his little cubicle, he was the closest to jubilant he had felt in months. But that only lasted a few minutes before that looming one-on-one meeting with Rhett and the weight of doing this all day every day again caught up to him. Sean felt as paralyzed as he had when he'd woken up that morning.