Once she was sufficiently bundled in her winter cloak, a navy hat and gloves and a wooly gray scarf, Caiti — sweating a bit under all her layers — headed out of Ravenclaw tower, through the torchlit corridors and past many wreaths and baubles and festively dressed suits of armor. She wound her way down the grand staircase and into the entrance hall, past the great hall, and out into the cold but partly sunny afternoon.

She was glad to be seeing Evelyn again. She hadn't heard all that much from her lately and she had a number of things on her mind she wanted to discuss with her.

But she was also sad that Marlowe couldn't come. It was only two weeks until she would be home for the holidays but that felt like a long time still. She had been really hoping that this time, this close to the holidays he wouldn't have any commitments. It was his off season anyway.

Trekking through last night's snowfall, now beaten down by the number of students that had already headed out, Caiti bowed her head against the wind. It was peculiarly cold that day. Her nose burned and tears leaked out the corners of her eyes, but when the sun peeked out from behind a cloud, it gave her cheeks a little lukewarm relief.

She caught up with Amelia, Miriam, Sophie, and Lila about a minute's walk from the gate. They were arguing about what Amelia might get Bill for Christmas — a matter which had been discussed at length almost every night for the past week and still had not been resolved.

Caiti had so far resisted being dragged into the conversation but Amelia caught sight of her now and hooked her arm through Caiti's, her eyes wide. "You know Bill," she said. "You always talk to him in class. What do you think he would like?"

"If it were me, I'd just get him something from Honeydukes," said Caiti. She took her arm back on the pretext of pushing her hair out of her face where the wind had blown it across.

"That's so basic though. It needs to be something special," said Miriam. She wore a green velvet scrunchie with a bit of holly on it around her curly hair. Caiti had seen this particular accessory advertised in a copy of Teen Witch that she had left laying out on the bed a few weeks back. It had been marketed as carrying around your own personal mistletoe, a.k.a. a constant excuse "for that special someone to kiss you all season long!"

Caiti couldn't judge her too much because she and Marlowe had first kissed under the mistletoe at the Yule Ball last year. Still, it was a little tacky.

"I just think if you don't really know what else he would like, then sweets are always a safe bet. He really likes cauldron cakes I'm pretty sure. And sugar quills. He has those in class sometimes."

Amelia took all this in like she needed to memorize it for NEWTs. They paused to sign their names off the sign out sheet that Professor Poke was holding and then passed through the gate.

"What are you getting Marlowe, though? Do you get him just candy for Christmas?"

"Well no," said Caiti. "But he's been my best friend for years. I know what-" but then she stopped because she had just looked up, and Marlowe was standing there in a heavy green coat, his hands buried in his pockets. She almost could have missed that it was him, could have thought that because Amelia had just said his name she had imagined it, but there he was. He had a particularly mischievous smile on his face, that one dimple more pronounced than ever.

Caiti stared with wide eyes while the surprise sunk in.

"Well," he said. "You gonna get over here, or what?" He pulled his hands out of his pockets and held his arms open for her.

"You are such a liar!" said Caiti, a grin spreading across her face. Ignoring the high probability of falling on the icy ground, she ran towards him and threw her arms around his neck. Marlowe lifted her right off the ground and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Good lie though, right?" he asked, squeezing her tight.

Caiti just laughed and kissed him on the mouth. When they broke apart, she unwrapped her legs and slid back to the ground, but did not let go of him. "How'd you get Evelyn to lie for you?" she asked. "She's the worst liar ever."

"With lots of supervision," said Marlowe. "Plus it's easier for her to lie in a letter than it is when you can see her face."

Caiti laughed some more and then she squeezed him around the middle, bouncing on her toes, and pressing the side of her face into his ribcage. "I'm just so happy you're here," she chirped.

"God, they're cute," said Amelia, behind them. Caiti became very aware of the four pairs of eyes on her back. Marlowe shifted so Caiti could stand by his side with his arm over her shoulders.

"Hey Amelia," he said. "How's seventh year going?"

She shrugged, blushing a little. Apparently dating someone had not entirely diminished her long held crush on Marlowe.

"Amelia's dating Bill," said Caiti, looking up at Marlowe. "And she needs advice for boyfriend Christmas gifts."

"Food," said Marlowe. He started to walk. The girls fell into step with them.

"Told you," said Caiti. "Just go to Honeydukes. Can't go wrong."

Lila, who hardly ever said a word — or perhaps just couldn't get one in edgewise between Miriam and Amelia — fiddled with the ends of her hair and said, "What about a boy that you aren't dating yet but want to be?"

At this utterance, there was such a long and high-pitched bout of shrieking and squealing that Marlowe was unable to answer the question for quite some time. Lila was bright red when they finally agreed to revisit the topic later.

"Food," said Marlowe again. Caiti laughed. For once, she didn't mind the company of her dormmates. She couldn't have felt anything but perfectly happy if she tried.

—-

They parted ways from the girls when they'd arrived in the village. Marlowe slipped his hand into Caiti's and said, "So where to?"

Caiti, unable to wipe the smile off her face, looked around at everything. She loved Hogsmeade at Christmas time with its garland wrapped around the light posts and little trees clustered in between buildings. There were wreaths hanging from every window in the Three Broomsticks and Honeydukes was decked out in giant candy canes and peppermints. Fresh snow covered the rooftops and was sprinkled into the cracks in the cobblestone street and across the windowsills.

"Inside somewhere," said Caiti. "It's chilly."

"Joke shop?" asked Marlowe, nodding to Weasley's Wizards Wheezes. I figure we go to the Three Broomsticks last."

"Sounds good," said Caiti. She started to walk that way, but Marlowe stopped, pulled her back into him, and kissed her deeply. She hadn't seen him except on the night of a full moon in so long, it took her by surprise.

"I missed you," said Marlowe, pulling her into another hug.

"Me too," said Caiti. Her stomach was absolutely bursting with butterflies.

Linking hands again, they hurried out of the cold and towards the joke shop. It was crowded inside, but it was warm. Caiti made a beeline for the pygmy puffs. "Look, it's Edison's siblings!" she said, sticking one finger into the cage to nuzzle a little pink one.

"How is Edison anyway?" asked Marlowe.

"He's good, but he's mad you haven't written him any letters."

"Edison hasn't written me any letters either."

"Yeah, well he doesn't have hands. You have no excuse."

"Tell him I'll write him one tomorrow," said Marlowe.

"I'll believe it when I see it."

Marlowe grinned.

As they perused the rest of the store, they took their time to read the labels on all kinds of oddball objects like a diary that wrote you back with absolutely terrible advice (Marlowe had way too much fun spilling his "secrets" into the tester) and a set of Wizards Chess characters who only understood Pig Latin. They had a particularly good cackle over a box of Lovegloss — a love potion infused chapstick that had gotten Sean into a real debacle the previous year — and Marlowe threatened to buy one and test it out.

"You don't need that to get me to kiss you," said Caiti, elbowing him in the side.

"Sure could've used it a couple years ago," he joked. Caiti just rolled her eyes at him.

They only left the store over an hour later, a small bag in hand carrying a funny card game Caiti wanted to test out when they sat down later. It worked like the muggle game Uno except the cards in your hand would occasionally change face and ruin your strategy.

"Where to next?" she asked.

Marlowe peered around for a moment, and then he got this mischievous look on his place, grabbed her hand, and made a beeline towards the post office.

When they were standing underneath the overhang, Caiti got an idea she knew what he was thinking. There was mistletoe hanging every couple of feet along the length of the building.

"Oh look," said Marlowe in the fakest display of surprise Caiti had ever seen, "mistletoe. I guess I have to kiss you now." Caiti pressed her lips together, but she couldn't stop her smile. He leaned down and kissed her, walked another three feet, and stopped again. "Drat, there's another one. What an inconvenience," he said dramatically, and he swooped down and kissed her again. Caiti's grin turned to giggles.

Another three feet down, they stopped again and Marlowe looked at Caiti with eyebrows raised. "Oh no," she laughed, playing along. "How could there be more?" She hopped up on her tiptoes, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him this time.

Marlowe carried on this way all the way down the line, seven times in all, and by the last one, Caiti was laughing so hard, Marlowe had to settle for kissing her on the cheek. She doubled over, tears streaming down her face, and sunk into a crouch. Marlowe tried to kiss her again, but she swatted him away. "Stop, stop, I can't breathe," she choked out through her laughter. Her stomach and her cheeks hurt. She had not laughed this hard in so long. She had not really laughed at all in so long.

"Shall we go back the other way?" Marlowe asked, grinning from ear to ear just as Caiti was starting to calm down. It set her off all over again. Slowly, she stood, wiping tears out of her eyes and he pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her from side to side.

"I love you so much," said Caiti. Her teeth were chattering, not from the cold, but from laughing so hard. "You make me so happy."

"Yeah, you're alright, too," said Marlowe easily.

But a minute later when they were walking away again, he squeezed her from the side and said, "Love you more."

Caiti turned to him, mouth open, and Marlowe seemed to have predicted what she was going to say, because at the very same time, they both said, "Love you most." Caiti turned her head away and smiled down at the ground.

—-

Sean had never been much of a birthday person. He didn't like all the attention. He didn't like everyone making a fuss over him. Evelyn had always been good about keeping it simple. As long as he'd known her, she'd given him a small gift, said a morning happy birthday, and then just let him lead the way through the day, going along with whatever he'd wanted or not wanted to do.

Sean knew this, knew she wouldn't push or plan some big elaborate thing, and yet, he was dreading going home.

She hadn't brought up the plans again since she'd asked him the previous Friday and Sean had only gone as far as to say that yes, his mum wanted him to come over for dinner and that she was welcome to come, too.

That would all be fine. His parents liked Evelyn. She was the kind of girl any parent would like. It was afterward Sean was dreading. He knew Evelyn would expect him to want to spend some kind of quality time with her. He couldn't blame her. In the past, that's exactly what he would have wanted. Last year on his birthday, they had gone up to his room early and he'd fallen asleep with her head on his chest and his arm going numb underneath her. They had only kissed for the first time a few days previously and they were both very nervous around each other, but also very caught up in the newness of everything.

It was different one year in.

Today had sucked, anyway. He'd had back to back meetings until three and had only gotten free of his boss twenty minutes ago. All he wanted was to be left alone with the door his cubicle firmly shut so he could try to actually get something done for the first time all day.

Naturally, that was not what happened.

Sean heard a suspicious collection of soft footsteps gathering outside and shut his eyes in anticipation. He knew what was coming.

Only a few seconds later, the door was flung open, and his coworkers started shoving themselves into the space and crowding around the door when no one else could fit, all of them singing a very loud, very bad rendition of Happy Birthday, which was one Sean's least favorite songs. To make it even worse, Rhett was at the front of the group holding a store bought chocolate cake and replacing Sean's name with "Champ" in the song.

There was a bout of cheering when everyone finished singing and Sean tried his best to smile and not look like an ungrateful prick, but he felt so uncomfortable, everyone just looking at him expectantly.

"Thanks everyone," he said finally. "This is really nice of you." It sounded as fake as it was, but Rhett didn't seem to care. In fact, it just fueled his fire. Sean had the distinct impression that he had planned this as a slap in the place disguised as a kind gesture.

"Aw, come on. You knew we couldn't go on with our day without celebrating the Champ! We've got a celebrity in our office. Tell everyone how old you are. Eighteen?"

"Nineteen," said Sean, and it took everything in him not to spit it out.

"Nineteen years old and already working a big kid job," said Rhett shaking his head like a proud parent.

Sean gave a single nod and a grimace that was the closest thing to a smile he could manage and started brainstorming how he could get them all out as soon as possible.

"Well, I appreciate this," he said. "I know it's the end of the day and you probably want to wrap things up so you can get home to your families. Should we this cake up?"

Sean hoped that it came across as grateful and conscientious. A year ago, even six months ago, it probably would have been sincere, embarrassed or not. But Rhett had this way of making him feel like a stupid kid, no matter the situation, and the longer it went on, the harder it got to respond to anything or anyone how he would have in the past.

Sean barely recognized himself anymore. He just felt aggravated all the time.

The next quarter of an hour was brutal. They sliced up the cake and everyone crowded around in the hall eating and having inane conversations. People trickled off one by one as they finished up, saying an extra Happy Birthday to Sean on their way. Some of them asked what his plans were for after work, and Sean was careful, as always, not to mention anything about Evelyn because Rhett always pounced on the word "girlfriend."

Then finally, finally, everyone was gone. Sean shut the door of his office again, tipped his head back and took several long deep breaths that were supposed to calm him down, but didn't. He had to leave in the next forty minutes. He'd told his parents he would be over around five thirty. He'd gotten nothing done all day.

Sean sat down, put his face in his hands for thirty seconds, rubbed at his temples, and then sat up to get to work on the most pressing item on his to-do list.

—-

Evelyn looked very pretty that night. She was wearing an emerald green sweater that reminded him of her robes for the Yule Ball. He'd always liked when she wore green. It made the orangey red of her hair and her bright blue eyes pop.

She kissed him at the door, said a quick happy birthday, and then gave him a hug that actually made him feel marginally better until she let go.

"Thanks," said Sean. He let one hand slide down her arm before he pulled away from her completely. "Just let me go and change and then we'll go."

Not too long after, they were standing on the doorstep of Sean's childhood home. His mum opened the door and ushered them in out of the cold. Sean stepped out of his shoes, left them on the dark wood of the front hall, and then let her pull him into a big hug. She was barely shorter than he was and her blonde hair in his face smelled familiarly floral, the same shampoo she had used his whole life. He hadn't seen his parents in a while and her hug loosened something in him.

"Happy birthday, love," she said, kissing him on the side of the head. She pulled Evelyn into a hug, too, asked how she was doing, and then started back through the living room and towards the kitchen.

"Your dad's just freshening up. He'll be out any minute," she said. "I've got dinner almost ready."

"It smells good," said Sean, taking a seat at the table. Somehow, it felt easier to fake acting like himself when he was in this house. Maybe because the flat had only ever been home while working this godforsaken job, and that made it hard to find it comforting.

"Bangers and mash," she said with a smile. It was one of his childhood favorites.

His dad came into the kitchen then, shook Evelyn's hand, and patted Sean on the back. He wasn't very touchy. "How was work?" he asked.

"Fine," Sean lied. "They brought me a cake."

"That was nice of them," said his mum. She waved her wand and things started floating over to the table, arranging themselves just so in the middle. Sean pulled out his usual chair and glanced at Evelyn. She took the seat next to him.

"What're you drinking?" she asked. "We've got wine, champagne, brandy, scotch..."

"Oh," said Sean. "Doesn't matter."

"Evelyn?"

"I don't mind. I'd be fine with just water," she said. She wasn't much of a drinker. Truthfully, neither was Sean. He'd had the odd drink when his parents had parties, but he hadn't gotten into the habit of pouring himself a glass of anything after work the way his father did.

"Alright, well waters all round, of course. What about champagne? It's a celebration." She was already pulling a bottle out and next thing Sean new, four champagne flutes were zipping their way to the table where they landed politely in front of each spot.

Sean realized he hadn't been home on his birthday since the year he'd turned eleven. He'd been at Hogwarts for every birthday since. They had often celebrated when he got home, with the date so close to the winter holidays, but it had become tied up with everything else.

"You'll want scotch?" she asked, turning to his dad.

"Please," he agreed.

When drinks had been poured, and plates served up, they returned to the topic of work. Sean fudged his answers to every question, the pit of guilt in his stomach growing with each small lie. He raced to keep track of what he said, hoping not to make some error that would give him away.

He shouldn't have lied about it all. Should've just said that work had been horrible that day, that it was always horrible, that he hated his job and hated his boss and hated who he was turning into because of it all. But his dad had gotten him in with this company. He knew Rhett and more than a few of Sean's other coworkers. Both his parents had said more than once throughout this conversation how proud they were of him, nineteen years old and already so successful. He couldn't tell them he wanted nothing more than to quit and get some unassuming entry-level job somewhere, anywhere else. Something where he wouldn't feel like a complete and total idiot every minute of every day.

Something where he actually used his wand for something besides filing papers more quickly than by hand.

"What about you, Evelyn? You got a job didn't you?" asked his dad, cutting into a piece of meat.

"Yes," said Evelyn. Sean glanced at her and couldn't help but notice that her eyes had lit up. "At the library in London. I work in the children's section."

She began to tell them about how she had made very good friends with her coworker Margaret and she loved spending time with the children. She told them how she was learning so much about how children learn to read and was actually thinking about going to uni to learn to be a teacher for primary school aged children because she was enjoying it so much, and she felt so lucky, because she had just happened upon this job and it had all turned out so perfect.

This train of conversation made Sean feel very, very tired.

He had to excuse himself to use the bathroom just so he could have a minute to pull himself together. Sean stood in front of the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. The bags under his eyes were getting worse and worse. His skin looked sallow.

It wasn't just that though. His expression was one he wore so frequently it now felt like the only real emotion he had left. He didn't look unhappy exactly, just blank, distant, disengaged.

Evelyn had noticed the change. He knew she had. She still tried to get through to him sometimes. He could tell by how hopeful her voice sounded when he got home from work and by the way she did small things for him whenever she could, just to be helpful.

But she'd stopped rubbing his back at night, stopped telling him stories about work, and almost stopped asking him to do things on the weekends.

Sean felt bad about how he was acting, when he let himself, but not enough to stop doing it.

It was just hard to give her any energy when she would never be able to understand how he felt going into work every day. She couldn't relate when she had happened into this job that she clearly loved, that she was so well-suited for.

Seeing her eyes bright and the real smile on her face, something he so rarely saw anymore, had made him feel like the biggest jerk in the entire world, because deep down, Sean wasn't happy for her.

And that, he knew, was unredeemable.

He washed his hands in the sink using ice cold water, dried them on the blue towel hanging from the wall, and then headed back out to the kitchen. His mum was cleaning up their plates and pulling out the gifts for him to open before they had dessert.

Evelyn smiled at him as he came back through the door and his stomach twisted with guilt. He scooted his chair closer to hers and put his arm around her shoulders, but he kept his eyes carefully off of her. He didn't want to see her face.