Chapter 37: Strange Love

"You shouldn't feel ashamed, Jessica," Snape said in a comforting tone. The two were making their way out of the Forbidden forest after Snape had finally convinced her to come out. 

"But I don't want to come out!" Jessica had protested to Snape earlier on. Snape, however, was having none of it. He knew how to handle emotional girls from his experience with Lucy. 

"Stop being so stubborn! You're just like Lucy!" Snape rolled his eyes, having Lucy to deal with was bad enough. He didn't need someone who could potentially bite him and then leave him there without anybody knowing. 

"How would you know?" 

"With a teenage daughter around you know every excuse in the book, now come on. You're wasting time." 

And so there they were, plodding through the forest with sullen looks on their faces. Both feeling wary of their surroundings as they walked. After all, the Forbidden forest wasn't the nicest place to be. 

"Why should I not feel ashamed?" Jessica wondered miserably as she finally un-did the messy bin that she had never liked in the first place. She found them pathetic and that they made you old like a headmistress who wanted to run the school. Considering the situation; very ironic. 

"It's not your fault you are a vampire, you should not blame yourself for such a thing. You should merely take this on as a wayof being different and that you can use your vampire ability to protect others; which you are."

"But would you like to be a vampire?" Jessica blurted out suddenly causing Snape to stop in his tracks and turn around to face her. "We drink blood, people think they can kill us with garlic and a stake through the heart...but wouldn't the stake kill anyone? And we're supposed to be neither living nor dead!" Jessica looked at her feet. "I don't even know what I am anymore." 

"I-I have never really studied vampires," Snape muttered awkwardly and suddenly felt ashamed for his relationship with Jessica in Lucy's third year. Jessica stared at him, feeling even more out of place. "But I guess they're the same as everyone else?" 

"Well that's reassuring," Jessica spat. "I should have walked the other way home...why did I never walk the other way home? Just because it was quicker and easier! Oh why did I do it..." Jessica began to walk past Snape but he put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. 

"Wasn't it worth walking the other way home?" 

Jessica blinked. "What?" 

"If you hadn't of done, you wouldn't know me or Lucy. You wouldn't be at Hogwarts like you are now, you wouldn't be head of the Resistance and both me and Lucy could be dead because you protect us." 

"What about Shona?" 

Snape rolled his eyes. "And McGuire." 

"You know, Severus," Jessica looked at him, to make sure calling him by his first name was OK. "I've never thought about it that way. I guess being a vampire isn't that bad after all. Besides, I'd have never of met you..." she looked awkwardly away, remembering what had happened a year or so back just like Snape had earlier. 

"Or Lucy or McGuire," Snape added and walked ahead, Jessica's shoulders slumped. 

*      *      *

Aggressively Lucy stomped back quicker up the path into the grounds of Hogwarts. She was determined to catch up with Fred. Snape and Jessica were far behind her now, but she had no worry about them anymore. She followed the ginger hair as he walked silently on his own. He hadn’t said a whisper since his incident with Angelina Johnson had sparked rumours about them going out.Lucy hadn’t experienced anything first hand with anyone coming up to her to debate the subject, but many had been walking around and eyeing her, wondering where her loving companion was.

Loving? She thought as the boy sped round the corner. Well, he had to talk to her sometime. He couldn’t just vanish off the face of the earth! Especially not after what he had done!

But Fred seemed intent on doing so. Lucy ran a little faster in her shoes, but they started to make a terrible clacking noise. As he spun round Lucy dived behind a knight’s armour. Poking her head over its arm to see Fred had ran off once again.

"This is not as easy as movies make it look..." she grumbled and tried to undo her robe which had caught itself of the hilt of its sword. It reminded her of when she had slain that monster back in her first year. Come to think of it, she had never known why it was here in the first place. Zuc was obviously trying to finish her of without hassle.

"WHATS OLD LUCY DOING HERE?" Peeves screamed from out of the knight’s helmet. Lucy screamed and fell onto her backside. "LUCY LU LUCY LU SHE'S SO FRIGHTENED SHE COULDN’T SCARE YOU!"

"Go away, Peeves," George had somehow appeared from behind Lucy and was already picking her up. Peeves blew a raspberry before laughing.

"What are you doing?" Lucy mumbled as she realised Fred must have vanished by now.

"You don't think that I don't want answers?" George raised his eyebrows. "Fred hasn’t spoken to me since...you know...he walks around with Angelina a lot, but not anyone else..."

"Can we just get him?" Lucy asked feeling very awkward. George nodded and both walked at Snape striding pace down the corridor, Peeves skipping behind them.

"They’re must be a reason. I mean, Fred isn’t like that. He always loved you, there must be a reason..."

"What?"

"I...I don’t know," he tried desperately to think of something, but nothing could sum it up. 

They did find Fred eventually. He was sitting outside of Astronomy waiting for Angelina, Lucy presumed. When Fred noticed them walking up the stairs he stood up defensively and pointed his finger.

"I don’t want him here! Not right now!"

"We just want answers," George reassured him. "Lucy’s just worried," he looked at his brother but then went back downstairs without answer. Lucy suddenly realised how awful it must be for a twin to see his brother get into trouble, especially since it had been Merlin’s descendant involved. He couldn’t stand by his brother for this one; there was no excuse this time.

"Hey," Lucy mumbled and sat down by the window sill. Fred remained standing.

"Hey," he replied stiffly. 

"How’s exams going?" Lucy shrugged. The words weren’t coming to her like she thought they would.

"Does it matter? Let’s just talk about it," Fred knelt down and sat on the floor next to her. "That's what your here for anyway."

"OK. First of all...why? Why did you do it?" Lucy just grumbled. Fred didn’t reply. "I just want to know why. I'm not going to hit you or anything! It's not like you. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately. You walk off on your own, you wanted more attention from me, you didn’t seem happy doing anything!"

"You just don’t understand me anymore!" Fred blurted out, face going red. Lucy frowned.

"What?"

"You treated me like rubbish in fourth year!" He attacked. Lucy gulped. "I saw Cedric the way you looked at Cedric. Don’t deny it." He cried. Lucy suddenly remembered the dashing heart throb.

"Fred I’m so sorry!" Lucy put her head in her hands. She didn’t realise how much pain she had caused him. It hadn’t been serious! Cedric liked her, but Fred was always there, and what did she do? Ignore him. No wonder he had been so unhappy.

"Did you kiss him?" Fred asked and stared at the floor. Lucy froze.

"What? Why? Does it matter now? Cedric's dead!" She panicked under pressure but it didn’t work.

"Did you?" he asked. Lucy sighed deeply before nodding. "If Cedric was alive this would have ended there and then. I know it. I’m only here by luck now, on borrowed time."

"No," Lucy said determinedly. But she couldn’t undo this, she couldn’t comfort him.

"And the newspaper said it was all a lie," he sniffed and put a hand through his hair.

"The prophet?" Lucy asked puzzled. Snape would have told her if so.

"No, that school newspaper, the Hogwarts quick quill. Some just call it the quick quill, all of the writers squirm their way into other peoples business..."

"Who started this?"

"Umbridge," Fred spat. "They just follow me, stalk me! Wanting questions! Debating answers! Your're all the gossip at the moment!"

"Why?"

"Umbridge wants to get you expelled," Fred said annoyed. "And loads of kids are believing all the lies she's making them tell. My mum's already sent me a howler because I was on the front page once. 'Flirt with the ruffled bird: how Weasley cheated on Snape! Exclusive!" His voice was so hoarse, so sarcastic; it hurt him to say it. Lucy held him so close she could feel his warm breath.

"I'm so sorry. This is because of me! I didn’t mean to do anything with Cedric but we did In the moment! I didn’t know what I was doing! But I didn’t mean it to hurt you! I never want to hurt you!" Fred hugged her and Lucy felt his tears on her neck.

"I know. It’s just I can’t stop thinking about it now and right then I just...wanted a break from us. We hadn’t been seeing each other for ages, sure here and there, but not properly. And we just fell apart, we didn’t talk for months on end this year." He spoke into Lucy's ear "I couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted to be in a relationship with no pressure."

"But what about when you kissed me at the end of fourth year?" Lucy butted in, feeling her temperature rising a bit. 

"I did that to see if you could change, to see if we could patch up the relationship now that Cedric was...gone. But it didn't work." He sighed, there was a moment of silence before Lucy spoke agian. 

"So you do like her?" Lucy choked and felt as if she had been hit by the dragons tail in the tri wizard tournament. "I thought it was a one off thing."

"No. I like her," Fred let go and looked to the ground ashamed. Lucy held onto his hand. It seemed this was the last she would get to hold him, but she didn’t want it to end. 

"When we didn’t talk I just lost it. I wanted more of you as if it would help. But you didn’t. you didn’t miss me like you. But its OK now, I'm over it," Fred coughed before saying. "I don’t want to be with you anymore."

"Oh," Lucy mumbled as they both stood up, she unintentionally kicked the wall. 

"That spark we had has just gone," he shrugged. "I don’t get the same feeling anymore when I see you. We just didn’t keep it alight at the right time. We left it thinking it was OK but it wasn’t. I'm sorry."

Lucy didn’t know what to say. She gulped silently. "How long had you been seeing her?"

"Months," he didn’t say specifically, but it sounded like a while. Lucy let go of his hand as if it was dirt.

"And you didn’t come to me first when you thought we weren’t working this year?"

"I tried but..." Fred shook his head. "I didn’t want too. No spark."

Lucy ran off from him. George looked at her in pure shock before trying to follow.

"Lucy!" George called, Lucy stopped running but didn't turn around. He caught up with her and he placed a hand on her shoulder. "How...how did it go?" 

"I don't really know, I don't really...have any words for it," she sighed. "I don't know if we're as bad as each other or one of us has more regrets than the other." 

"Why do you say that?" 

"Because Cedric kissed me and I never told Fred." 

"That was once, you know. I bet he's kissed Angelina a thousand times." 

"Thanks, George, thanks so much for the reassurance." 

George sighed and his shoulders slumped. "It's a shame you two aren't an item anymore, I kind of miss you two being together." 

"Oh really? Says the boy who tried to attack me in my third year," Lucy laughed. 

"I'm sorry, I guess I was kind of jealous that my brother got a girlfriend before me. Besides, we're exactly the same...how can he get a girlfriend before me?" 

"I'm sure you'll find someone special one day, there's always someone out there." 

"I guess so...but how do you know that?" 

"I just do." 

"But what about you?" 

"Fred just wasn't the right person, I thought he was but he's just not," Lucy shrugged a little bit disappointed. 

"Do you reckon you'll meet this 'right' person soon?"

"I don't know but I hope so...because it was nice having a boyfriend." 

"Do you like anyone around school?" 

"No, not really, I think I'll just stay on my own for a while." 

"I guess that's the best option, you can worry about it when you've finished school." 

"George..." Lucy whispered and stopped walking. 

"Come on, you must have some hope that you're going to survive!" George gasped. "You're Lucy Snape for crying out loud!" 

"Lucy Snape the girl who was nicknamed Lucky because other people helped her get through things that was not done with luck." 

"But you killed that monster — " 

"You, Fred and Shona did that." 

"You fought those vampires — " 

"Shona and dad fought them." 

"You fought Zuc!" 

"I...I didn't — " 

"Yes you did! That you did all by yourself!" 

"But I just thought what dad did, if it wasn't for him I'd be dead." 

"You figured it out though! You were the one who outsmarted him and not Snape nor Shona. You did that!" 

"But I almost died." 

"You survived though!" 

"I guess I did..." Lucy smiled. "Yes! You're right! I did survive!" 

"You see? You can do things by yourself." 

"I've been told." 

"Well start listening to what your told." 

"Thanks, George," Lucy smiled. "Make sure you talk to Fred, I hate seeing you two apart."

"Don't worry I will." Lucy began to walk off but George stopped her. "Hey, Lucy?" 

"Yes?" She turned around. 

"There will be someone out there, you'll find them soon. Don't give up hope. Fred just wasn't the right one."