Chapter thirty four: You lack confidence 

"Attacks!" Lucy squealed

They were back in the empty classroom at Hogwarts. Snape was trying to teach Lucy and Shona the patronus charm, they were getting better but Lucy lacked confidence, like in most things she did. 

"Yeah, that's what Dumbledore said" Shona shrugged as a silvery something errupted from her wand 

"Never mind that, if whatevers attacking comes near us we'll get rid of it" Snape growled pacing up and down the room, "McGuire try it again, do as I have instructed, think of a happy memory" 

"OK!" Shona grinned

She closed her eyes for a while, to find her happy place. For some reason it took her a while but when she had found a memory she held her wand in front of her a uttered the words 'expecto patronum.' Again a silvery substance left her wand and it almost took the shape of something. 

"If you'd of focused, McGuire, you would of had a full bodied patronus then" Snape shook his head and moved onto Lucy who looked terrified, she could just about say 'expecto patronum' let alone anything else. 

"Find a happy memory, Lucy, and focus on it." 

"Sure..." Lucy muttered

Lucy closed her eyes and looked through every memory that she had. Every memory that she had looked through hadn't exactly been 'happy.' Lucy sighed and almost gave up hope until she finally found one, she held her wand in front of her and grasped the memory as best as she could. 

"Expecto Patronum!" Lucy whispered, she opened her eyes and saw at least something erupt from her wand but it wasn't as much as Shona had managed to do, "well that failed..." 

"Both of you lack confidence..." Snape shook his head 

"Well maybe we don't have that many happy memories! I mean look at Lucy! Five years of her life she was left on the streets! And - "

"That's enough, McGuire" Snape hissed because he had just glanced at Lucy who was looking every where but at Shona and Snape. 

"It's true though" Lucy sighed still not facing the two, "yet it was my own choice, my own choice" she shook her head and crossed her arms

The room was silent for a moment until Snape ordered Shona to try and use her patronus again. Lucy watched in silence but bit her lip trying to clear her mind.  

"Expecto Patronum!" Shona yelled 

Suddenly the silvery substance erupted from Shona's wand once again but this time it actually took the shape of something. The silvery substance turned into a wolf! Shona's eyes widened in shock as her patronus ran around the room. Finally it died down but Shona's smile didn't. 

"You can't say I lack confidence now, Snivels!" Shona laughed 

"Very well, very well...Lucy, it's your turn" Snape shook his head once again

"I can't" Lucy said, her throat was dry, "I-I can't find any happy memories..." 

"Hey! You think negative too much! There must be at least one happy memory in that brain of yours. Wether it's you winning the quidditch match or me making you laugh, which I have done plenty of times" Shona said 

"All the quidditch mathces i've won have ended in a disaster in fact every one has ended in a disaster, I am a disaster!" 

"Now there is someone who lacks confidence..." Shona muttered to herself, she straightened up her tie and looked around the room

"I don't think I've met anyone who's lacked as much confidence as Lucy" Snape raised an eyebrow

"Well what do you expect me to be? Full of confidence?" Lucy snapped  

"No, I don't I'm just saying" Snape said, "I know you don't want to do this but at least just try, please" 

"Fine but if it doesn't work don't blame me!" Lucy frowned found a memory as quick as she could then yelled, "expecto patronum!" 

Lucy grinded her teeth and watched as the silvery substance erupted from her wand and took the shape of something without her even noticing. 

"There! Are you happy?" Lucy asked 

"A phoenix" Shona gasped 

"What?" 

"A phoenix, that's your patronus" 

"Oh!" Lucy exclaimed, she looked at her patronus and saw a beautiful bird which was now at her feet, then it flew around her and disappeared. 

"That was a pretty sweet patronus..." 

"Thanks" Lucy said putting her wand away, "so what now?" 

"We better leave this classroom, it's not quite time for the feast so I suggest McGuire you head back to the common room and Lucy you can either go to the common room or come to my office" 

"I'll go to your office, i've got to finish off a few bits of homework...Not to mention Shona's too" 

"MCGUIRE!" Snape shouted 

"What? She offered to do it!" Shona whined 

"You blackmailed me!" Lucy laughed 

"It's potions! I can't do that..." 

"Lucy, hand it back to McGuire, she needs to actually learn about potions" Snape ordered 

Lucy opened up her bag and pulled out Shona's potions homework and gave it back to Shona who slouched off to the common room. Lucy and Snape walked up to Snape's office where Lucy finished off her own homework and Snape marked test papers. 

"So what's your patronus then, dad?" Lucy asked as she scratched a word out of her Transfiguration essay 

"A doe" he muttered whilst he marked a 'T' on George Weasley's potions test 

"Nice" Lucy smiled, "but do you really think I lack confidence?" 

Snape looked up and thought for a moment, he couldn't say anything too harsh to break Lucy's heart. 

"In a way, yes but it is understandable"  

"Oh OK" Lucy murmured she looked a bit ashamed of herself 

"You worry too much as well but, again, it is understandable"

"Oh..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings"

"It's fine, it doesn't matter"

"It does, you suffer in silence as well. You should know that you always have me to talk to, it's not as though it's five years ago where no one wished to talk to you"

"I know but it's hard. It's not worth giving your problems to someone else who doesn't need them, keep them to yourself and then you don't harm anyone" 

"You should do exactly the opposite; a problem shared is a problem halved"

"Why can't I do anything on my own?" Lucy said finally, "you're always there to help me! I try to fight on my own but you always help me because I'm too weak!" A streak of Lucy's hair suddenly turned brighter as she moved into the light a little more

"You're not exactly a fighter are you? Girls normally aren't"

"That's being sexist, I mean look at Shona! She can take down about five bad guys at once!"

"You two are very different, you both have your strengths and weaknesses. McGuire's isn't exactly potions but yours is. McGuire enjoys defense against the dark arts where as you despise it"

"That's true but I mean every fight we have between Kingston and us I always come away with an injury not to mention after quidditch too and I'm a Gryffindor! They are meant to brave!"

"Like I said, we all have our strengths and weaknesses and as for you being a Gryffindor it takes time for you to find your place"

"Says he who got straight 'O's on every subject in his O.W.L.S" Lucy sniggered giving her dad a prod in the arm

"That's because I studied every day and that's what you should be doing now"

"Hey! I don't take my O.W.L.S until fifth year!"

"Well the more studying you do the easier it will be"

"Yes dad..."

Lucy grabbed her quill and began scribbling down notes for every subject she took. She had a feeling that the O.W.L.S were going to be hard...