Chapter 30: Distant Desires

After Shona had been allowed to leave the hospital she had gone and sat in Snape's quarters after being invited by him. She was very grateful of course but felt rather awkward just sitting there with a cup of coffee in her hands while Snape and Jessica planned lessons on the three seater sofa and Lucy and Matt sat curled up reading a book together. But she couldn't blame them, being in love must be wonderful. Shona could only imagine.

Shona raised the cup of coffee to her lips slowly and shakily, then took a sip. She hated Snape with a burning passion but he really did make nice coffee and for that she could forgive him. Even if he did put her in detentions half the time. Shona's only love was coffee right now and just as love did it filled her up and made her warm inside.

She looked up from her coffee and glanced at Snape and Jessica, Jessica was speaking while Snape furiously took notes for tomorrow's lesson. They were working in sync and before long they would be done completely with that lesson plan but they would probably move onto others. Although the two did not show public affection, it was obvious that they loved each other. The simple things said it all; the way Snape's dark eyes would soften and almost melt as Jessica spoke to him, the way Jessica would occasionally lean on him or make her words softer and more affectionate towards him. They were perfect for each other, they fit together like a previously incomplete puzzle. Their abnormalities made them different and a unique couple.

On the other hand, Lucy and Matt did show public affection and they really did love each other. Matt had one arm around Lucy and his other hand was holding the book the two were reading (that also belonged to Matt and was in fact American themed) which was resting on Lucy's lap. Lucy's head was resting on Matt's shoulder and she was reading along with him, except she was a quicker reader than him and would always wait for Matt to finish. When he was finished he would ask her:

"Are you finished with this page?"

In a quiet voice, careful not to disturb her as she was extremely tired. She would nod with a little noise of agreement and he would turn the page with care in response while Lucy buried herself deeper into the burgundy blanket that she insisted covered them equally but Matt was adamant she got the larger share. Matt wanted to care for her after what had happened because she was extremely tired and was just about staying awake.

But Matt knew that reading a book would send her to sleep soon enough even though it was only eight o'clock. Saving Shona had taken practically all day which meant they'd all missed a lot of lessons and vital information. But Shona didn't care much.

Shona's grip suddenly tightened on the mug, so much so it almost shattered. Lucy suddenly looked up from reading and at Shona, Matt noticed her attention had gone elsewhere and followed her gaze. He held their place in the book with his hand.

"What's wrong, Shona?" Lucy asked, catching Snape and Jessica's attention also.

"Nothing, shut up," Shona muttered harshly, as she stared straight ahead at the table. She didn't care much for Lucy's words and suddenly felt a lot of anger towards her, it came from no where.

"Well, alright then," Lucy shifted Matt's hand and continued reading the book. Matt slowly turned back to the pages, looking warily at Shona. Shona might be part of the gifted but Matt disliked anyone being rude to his girlfriend.

SMASH!

Shona had thrown her coffee mug across the room, the contents sprayed everywhere and the coffee mug shattered on the opposite wall. The pieces landed daintily on the floor in an uneven pattern, it could easily be fixed with magic but it made Lucy jump and gasp.

"WHAT THE HELL, MCGUIRE?!" Snape roared, standing up. The notebook on his lap fell to his feet, notes spraying everywhere making Jessica cringe. "YOU DON'T COME INTO MY QUARTERS TO DESTROY IT!"

Shona ignored Snape and turned on Lucy. Lucy immediately stood up, to make herself taller even though it didn't really matter because Shona was taller anyway. Shona glared at her, staring her down. The two girls didn't say anything for a while before the words that formed in Shona's mouth came spilling out.

"Why do you think you're superior next to everyone else?" Shona demanded in a low tone.

Lucy swallowed. "I don't," she was desperately trying to keep calm and she wouldn't give in. If she kept calm and kept her tone quiet and even, Shona would admit defeat.

Shona snorted. "Of course you do, you walk around like you're addressing your subjects and you pick up then leave boys like they're nothing. You think you own everything just because you're Merlin's descendant. BUT YOU DON'T. Just because you can fight now, you think you've got even more of a right to boss people around BUT YOU — "

"I don't do that," Lucy's voice still remained calm, she put up all her shields and pretended that the comments didn't hurt her. She knew that they weren't true. But still she could not deny that something very strange was going on with Shona.

"Yes you do, admit it," Shona laughed a little, sending chills up Lucy's spine. "That's who you are and what you've become! You're just too much of a coward to admit it!"

Lucy finally broke. "I'M NOT A COWARD!" She screamed, her heart thudded in her chest and her fists clenched.

"FiGHT ME THEN, COWARD!" Shona demanded.

"I don't wish to," Lucy breathed in.

"FIGHT ME, LUCY SNAPE! FIGHT ME LIKE THOSE PEOPLE THINK YOU CAN!" ('That's not right,' Lucy thought. 'Shona would never call me that.')

There was five seconds of silence before Shona launched towards Lucy, she grabbed her shirt and punched her in the mouth. Lucy felt her jaw click and she winced, the throbbing pain in her jaw spread outwards making her face go numb. But there was no pain after that because while Lucy was on the floor at Matt's feet, he held Shona up like a trophy. His strength was far more terrifying than Shona's and he was there to protect Lucy just like Dean.

"What's that, Zuc? You had something to say?" Matt hissed in her face, Shona didn't flinch away. While Lucy inhaled deeply, she realised that Matt had figured it out before she had. Matt had realised that this wasn't Shona. Zuc was not yet finished with Shona.

"If this was my true form you'd be bleeding on the floor...dead," Zuc growled in Shona's voice, the way her voice fitted around each word made Lucy slightly scared.

"Okay, big guy, I don't know or care where you are right now but it's obvious to me that you're going through one of your tantrums. You're acting like a two year old, so go and calm down and run back to your mother and leave McGuire alone."

There was silence, the look in Shona's eyes that Zuc had given her looked terrified. Surely Zuc couldn't be afraid of Matt when he had all that power. Or maybe it was something Matt had said...Lucy tried to break down Matt's words.

"You..." was all Zuc could muster. "You...I'LL HAVE YOU! I'LL TEAR YOU TO SHREDS WHEN I FINALLY SEE YOU! I'LL HAVE YOU DEAD ON THE FLOOR FOR LUCY TO SEE! I'LL TEAR YOUR HEART OUT AND FEED IT TO THE WOLVES! I'LL MAKE BOTH YOU AND LUCY SUFFER! I'LL MAKE EVERYONE SUFFER! I WON'T FORGET YOU, MATTHEW SCOTT JARVIN! YOU'LL BE ONE OF THE FIRST ON MY LIST! YOU WAIT!"

Matt put Shona down and then turned around to Lucy. He picked her up gently and she held onto him, her hands resting on his chest. He smiled at her reassuringly like nothing had happened while Shona was left to get her bearings and Snape and Jessica were left to stare in shock.

"Why..." Lucy whispered. "I mean, why aren't you scared? He'll have you, you know. He doesn't just say things, he stays true to his word."

"Stays true to his word?" Matt snorted. "No he doesn't. He's already said a million times he's going to kill you but I'm holding you right now and as for what Zuc said," Matt smiled at her again. "It isn't the worst death threat I've gotten."

Matt smirked and Lucy laughed. They then sat back down and continued reading their book as if nothing had happened. Matt flicked to the page they were on and Shona was left to gather her senses as Zuc left her.

Snape flicked his wand and the shards of the coffee mug disappeared. He glared at her and Shona awkwardly sat back down with no coffee to warm her soul. Snape collected his notes and continued planning the lesson with Jessica.

Lucy slowly began to fall asleep and was barely conscious until Matt had shut the book because he had noticed her tiredness.

"Leave it open," she muttered. "I'm still reading."

Matt laughed a low laugh. "No you're not."

"Yes I..." she began to say but a yawn rudely interrupted her.

"Okay, Miss stubborn, you're going to bed," Matt huffed and placed the book down. He stood up and went to lift her up when she stood up herself, she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes furiously.

"I feel awful," she said dramatically, catching Snape's attention as the two went to walk to Lucy's bedroom, Matt supported her all the way.

Jessica noticed Snape's look of disgust and laughed. "Calm down, Severus, he just cares about her."

"I don't know why Lucy trusts him, I think he's just using her," Snape began furiously scribbling away with his quill. "I want rid of him."

Snape got a glimpse of Lucy and Matt together in the future somewhere but he didn't know when and how old they were, it wasn't clear enough for him. He wished the vision was clearer but when he blinked it was gone.

"I think he opened up to her and she trusted him. Lucy isn't a stupid girl, she wouldn't purposely put herself in danger."

"Nobody really likes Matt but Lucy," Shona spoke up all of a sudden, even though she didn't think she was welcome to because of the incident with Zuc. "That's why he cares about her so much because she gave him a chance to change and I don't think anyone else has done that before."

"See? Lucy isn't a fool!" Jessica smiled at Snape. "She's just found the right person."

Meanwhile in Lucy's room, both Lucy and Matt were lying on top of the covers of Lucy's bed and were staring up at the ceiling which Matt had enchanted to look like the night sky, just like the great hall's.

"I can't believe you know that spell," Lucy admitted as she moved onto her side and Matt put one arm around her.

"What can I say?" Matt smirked. "I have a thing for charms."

Lucy pretended to be offended. "And not me?"

"No," Matt shook his head. "You're far better than all the charms ever made." He kissed her and she blushed a little. Matt was always making her feel better and she couldn't be more grateful. He then pulled away suddenly, putting a hand on her cheek. "Oh, how's your jaw?"

"It hurts a bit but I'll get by, I've had worse," Lucy shrugged, "If it was really Zuc who'd done it, he'd - well he wouldn't even bother to punch me in the jaw he'd just impale me."

"He's met you before and you haven't been impaled, have you?" Matt pointed out.

"Time has gone on though, I'm sure he will kill me the next time he sees me."

"Oh no," Matt whispered as he took out his wand and healed Lucy's face, making the pain disappear. "He wouldn't do that, he hasn't got enough guts to."

"Believe me, he's tried," Lucy sighed and rested her head on Matt's chest and thought about all the times that Zuc had tried to get her killed or had attempted to kill her himself.

"Am I being too observant or is yours and Shona's friendship...weakening?"

"Just because she knocked me in the jaw while being posessed by Zuc?" Lucy asked but Matt shook his head. "Well I guess it is a little bit."

"Why is that?"

"I think the whole Zuc situation is tearing us apart and I don't know if Zuc really said that first part. I think Shona actually meant it."

"People change," Matt pointed out. "Maybe she's jealous that you've got me and I don't mean to sound self centered."

"No, you're right. She wants to go out with Ben but she doesn't have the guts to ask him out..." Lucy's voice trailed off as if she'd said too much but right now she felt the only people she could trust was Matt and Dean, even Snape seemed distant nowadays.

"Well you've always got me if she ever does anything again," Matt gently kissed her and she let herself get lost in his kiss. Right now he was the only one she had and she needed him more than ever.

Angus hopped onto the bed all of a sudden, breaking them up. He climbed over Matt and perched on Lucy's side as if Matt wasn't really there.

"Angus, don't be rude," Lucy huffed, stroking the cat's fur despite this.

"Oh, who's this?" Matt asked.

"Angus, he's a very intelligent cat and I've had him since second year and I can literally talk to him," Lucy laughed at how stupid she sounded and at Matt's puzzled look. "When I turn into a doe anyway."

"What?" Matt was absolutely baffled.

"Zuc cursed me and so I have the ability to turn into a doe if I so wish but I haven't wished to in a while. Maybe I'll show you someday."

"There's more to you than meets the eye," Matt snorted and reached out to stroke Angus.

"Watch out, he's quite selective as to who he likes," Lucy warned but moved her hand and allowed Matt to stroke her cat anyway. Angus was quizzical at first and didn't seem to like Matt but after a short while Angus seemed to relax and he shifted to Lucy's front as she laid on her back. "The odds appear to be in your favour."

"Appears so..." Matt muttered, he then turned to Lucy while he continued to stroke Angus. "Don't worry about Shona, I promise I'll always be here."

"And Dean," Lucy pointed out. "Speaking of Dean, where has he been? He's usually always right by my side, ready to bite anyone."

"We can find out tomorrow but right now I think it's best I go..." Matt got off of the bed and so did Angus, Lucy sat up and watched as Matt grabbed his book, she was disappointed and suddenly felt alone.

"Matt," Lucy squeaked, her voice breaking. "Please don't go!" She held out her hand to him and he stopped. "I don't want you to go."

Matt remebered the similar situation at Christmas, he threw down his bag again and sat back down on the bed. He laid next to her just like he had a moment ago and put an arm around her. They fell asleep like that, Matt not meaning to. But he needed to stay with her because of her nightmares.

"Jarvin, you - " Snape announced as he walked into Lucy's room and almost yelled out when he saw Matt was there. He didn't want this, this was just not right.

"Calm down, Severus, he's just staying with her to make her feel better there's nothing bad happening," Jessica laughed quietly and held onto his arm. "Matthew won't hurt Lucy they're just very much in love."

Snape huffed and caught a glimpse of the future again but was too annoyed to register it even though it was clearer this time. Snape closed the door and faced Jessica.

"She's my daughter and he just wants to use her!"

"No he doesn't," Jessica folded her arms.

"Where's your proof?"

"Where's your proof that he wants to harm her?"

"He's an evil boy with a bad reputation!" Snape spat as though he had venom in his mouth. "Can you not see that?"

"Yes but maybe you're only taking into account stereotypical situations, Matt's different and he was the one who announced their relationship to the press to help her, he invited her round his house for Christmas and even shoved Shona away a minute ago. Yes, he wasn't pleasant at first but you know now that he is, so come on."

"But — " Snape stuttered.

"No, come on," Jessica laughed and dragged him away to continue their lesson plans.

*      *      * 

"Dean!"

It was the next day after lessons and Lucy had knocked on Dean's door in the guest quarters and waited for a response, Matt held her hand while she waited for a response but there seemed to be none. Lucy looked hopeless as she turned to Matt.

"Try again," Matt suggested.

Lucy knocked on the door again and called a little louder. "Dean! It's me, Lucy! Are you in there?"

There was still no response. Lucy's shoulders slumped and this time she just opened the door, she was incredibly worried about Dean. Matt followed immediately behind her and they looked in Dean's quarters. The living room was immaculate and the television was switched off.

"He must be in his room," Lucy muttered and they walked towards Dean's room, the door was open wide almost inviting them in.

Dean was sat on his bed, his head in his hands and he appeared to be sobbing. He was wearing the same clothes from yesterday and Lucy knew immediately something was wrong judging by his protective manner.

"Dean?" Lucy asked.

Dean's head snapped up and it was evident that he was crying, he tried to hide his face and get up. The arrival of Lucy seemed to have flustered him.

"Oh goodness I'm late, I'm sorry, Lucy! I'll get changed and then we'll go to, um, Potions..."

"Potions are over, Dean," Lucy whispered. "The whole day is over."

"No!" Dean squeaked. "No! I can't have missed a day of looking after you! No! No! No!"

Dean jumped up from his bed and ran towards Lucy but he ended up tripping and falling at her feet and sobbing more. Lucy bent down and helped Dean sit up, she held onto his hand while Matt knelt next to Lucy.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Lucy asked, she stroked his hand. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing," Dean wiped his eyes. "I apologise sincerely for what I have done and I shoudln't have been this foolish, my job is to protect you! Oh I'm so stupid!"

"Shh," Lucy whispered as Dean sobbed harder and collapsed in her arms, all he could do was hug Lucy and sob. "Dean it's okay, Matt's been here to protect me as well and I swear I haven't been hurt. You just need to tell me what's wrong because you're making me worry."

Dean seemed reluctant, almost embarressed to say. Matt, however, thought he knew the solution. He wasn't very good at giving sympathy to anyone except Lucy but with his new found attitude he was sure he could be sympathetic to anyone.

"Hey," Matt reached out his arm and placed a hand on Dean's back. Dean sniffed and looked up. "You need to tell us what's wrong. Lucy's been worried sick all day about you, she wants to know so she can help you."

"Well," Dean sniffed again and Lucy handed him a tissue which he took gratefully. "I-I've been having nightmares about my parents for a long time and I miss them so much. It's so stupid and I should have ignored them but - "

"No you shouldn't," Matt spoke up again. "If you ignore it, it'll just get worse. It's better if you tell someone."

"And I know exactly what nightmares are like," Lucy pointed out. "If anyone's experienced in that area it's me and you know you can always come and talk to me if you want. You don't have to be my bodyguard all the time, it's okay to cry and it's okay to break. It's human nature."

"I-I..." Dean began, he cleared his throat. "I miss my mother so much and the suspense as to whether she's alive or dead is killing me. I don't know what to do!"

"I know, Dean, it must be horrible." That was all Lucy could think to say. But the truth was; she didn't know. She'd experienced death herself but she'd never encountered the suspense of someone being alive or dead. Sure, her mother might be dead but Lucy didn't even know her.

Lucy helped Dean stand up and she walked into the living room with him, she sat down and Dean took a seat weakly next to her, she put her arms around Dean and he sobbed. Lucy didn't know what else to do rather than let Dean cry, she couldn't find his mother because there was no way she could get back on the medieval islands so all she could do was let him cry.

"Shh, it's okay, Dean," Lucy tried to reassure him but she knew it wasn't going to help much.

Matt stood in front of Lucy with his hands in his pockets, when Lucy looked up she expected him to be huffing and checking his watch but he wasn't. He was genuinely concerned for Dean, he looked down at Lucy but they didn't really know what to say.

Matt cleared his throat. "You know what will make you feel better?"

Dean looked up once again and he looked quizzical.

"If we go and gather my friends and see what we can do, how does that sound?"

Dean suddenly remembered the incident before Christmas when they had all built the snowman together. Dean wiped his eyes. "I'd like that very much."

"Well, lets go!" Matt picked up Dean's leather jacket and handed it to him.

Dean stood up and slipped it on, Lucy held Dean's hand while Matt jogged ahead to see if he could find his friends. When they made it to the main courtyard they found Johnny, Alex, Tyler and Chris all standing there calling at random people to try and scare them.

"HEY!" Matt yelled at them, the four of them all turned at the sound of Matt's voice and ran towards him.

"MATT, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, MAN?!" Chris demanded, trying to pin him down to the floor.

"YOU'VE BEEN MISSING ALL THE FUN!" Tyler joined in.

Johnny was also about to join in attacking Matt just as Alex had started to when he saw Dean and Lucy. He stepped over to them almost immediately.

"Hey, Lucy," Johnny flirted. "Have you been keeping Matt from us?"

"He's free to split his time however he wants," Lucy pointed out as Matt and Chris prepared themselves for a duel.

"How about you split some of your time with me?" Johnny grinned and Lucy huffed.

"JOHNNY, ARE YOU STEALING MY GIRL?!" Matt yelled as he avoided a spell.

"NO!" Johnny called back innocently. "SHE'S STEALING ME. RIGHT, LUCY?"

Lucy rolled her eyes and stepped over to Matt, he stopped firing spells and blocked Chris' one that was heading for him. He turned his attention towards Lucy and ignored Chris' protest.

"I thought we agreed about helping Dean?" Lucy folded her arms but Dean was already laughing as Chris, Alex and Tyler were fighting.

"We are, aren't we? He looks happy, aren't you, Dean?" Matt asked.

"Yes, thank you I think just knowing I have people to talk to makes me feel better," Dean smiled as he went over to Alex. "I challenge you to a hand to hand battle!"

"Oh, sure!" Alex laughed. "Bring it on! But I'll go easy on you, promise."

"Okay."

Alex and Dean prepared themselves. Alex took the first move, charging towards Dean. Dean looked genuinely frightened until he grabbed hold of Alex's hand, twisted it back and threw him on the floor.

"I didn't say I'd go easy on you, though," Dean laughed.

"WHAT?! I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT!" Alex yelled.

"I'm Lucy's bodyguard! Do you expect me to be weak?!"

"Well it is on!" Alex beckoned Dean for more fighting but Dean won every time, he was very well trained.

Matt put an arm around Lucy's waist and pretended to cry. "They grow up so fast."

Lucy faced Matt, all of a sudden. She put her hands on his shoulders. "I want to take you somewhere."

"Where?" Matt asked curiously.

"Follow me and you'll find out," Lucy smirked and dashed towards the castle.

They ran up the first staircase. "Lucy! Tell me where we're going!"

Lucy jumped while one of the staircases was moving onto the next one, Matt made it easier as he took longer strides even though he was behind. "You'll see!" Lucy called behind her with a grin.

Matt chased her down a corridor. "Slow down, will you?"

"You can keep up!"

They made it eventually and when they did, Lucy shoved Matt up the stairs and they made it into the secret room. Matt's eyes scanned the room with curiosity, it was overflowing with books and old objects that never seemed to get dusty.

"Isn't Hogwarts just full of surprises?" Matt laughed a little as Lucy lead him over to the mirror of erised.

He peered into it, not thinking much of it. There was just him and Lucy standing there, his eyes moved over to her reflection and studied her. Her wavy brown hair flowed to her waist like a waterfall while her green eyes studied the mirror as if she was going to see what he was seeing. A small dainty crease formed between her eyebrows while her light pink coloured lips were set into a firm line of concentration.

"What do you see?" She asked eventually.

"Us," he shrugged. He was not impressed by the mirror.

"Just...us? As we are now? Or are we somewhere else?"

Matt stared harder at the mirror and he almost jumped back in shock. The Matt and Lucy before him in the mirror were older. Matt held Lucy's hand as he did now but two glistening rings could be seen on their hands and Lucy was smiling very brightly back at him. He too was smiling, as if he were the happiest man in the world. That's how he smiled now but this Matt before him, if possible, seemed happier.

"Uh..." Matt stammered, as if suddenly remembering Lucy's question. "We're older and we're...um..."

"We're what?"

"We're married. We both look so happy," Matt itched the back of his head awkwardly. He didn't know how Lucy was going to react to this.

He was surprised to find that Lucy hugged him tightly, standing on her tiptoes, and smiled into his shoulder. "You're such a romantic."

"It's true! That's what I see! That's what I desire! For us to be together!" Matt sounded rather stupid to himself but it just made Lucy smile brighter.

"Honestly, though," Lucy pulled away. "That's really sweet that you see us that way, it's lovely to know that you care."

"I really do care," Matt looked at his shoes. "Okay, that's me out the way but what about you? What do you see?"

the first time Lucy had looked in the mirror of erised she had seen her and her father together, she wanted so desperately to be related to Snape and that had become reality. Now she didn't know what to expect. She closed her eyes before the mirror nervously and held onto Matt's hand just for reassurance.

She opened her eyes.

She saw herself fighting Zuc with Merlin's sword, it was an epic battle between the two of them before Lucy cut off Zuc's head and held it in the air like a trophy making her smile. That's what she most desired, to have Zuc dead to save everyone.

"Go on then," Matt encouraged.

"Zuc dead," Lucy replied.

"That's nice, I tell my girlfriend I desire us married and she tells me she desires murder." Matt snorted.

"It might be murder but it will save a lot of people," Lucy shrugged. "I'm sorry that I don't see us together like you do."

"There's no need to apologise! I know you want Zuc dead and I know you can do it."

Lucy bowed her head and Matt braced himself to give her a whole load of reassurance but he didn't need to.

"I know too."

Author's note:

Alright, lets face it; I'm a lousy updater.

I'm also in my last year of muggle school and I'm drowning in homework and I also have a million books to read. Do you see my problem?

I feel so bad for not updating because so many of you love this series and I want to update frequently like I used to (I used to have a chapter posted everyday). But these monthly updates are insane.

I'm also running out of ideas so that's even worse. I'm so sorry about not updating I hope you still enjoy the series though :3

I love you all, thanks for continuing to stick with me :D

TheHalfBloodPrincess x

P.S) Question (comment below!): What are your predictions for the end of this book? I'm curious :D

PP.S) We've still got Book seven to look forward to! Wheee!