my love

i will write you because i miss you and i can imagine that perhaps it will ease this need in my heart. it has been forever since i've seen you and there is no thing i find harder than our separation. if you could look into my eyes once you would know that this is dismal for me. i am hoping it is even worse for you, but i doubt that could be.

since you will be gone for a while i thought it a good idea to put my thoughts down so you may read them when you receive them. we did not ask for this, but we have to make the best of how things are right now. i am hoping that time will pass by quickly for i can barely stand being without you. (liar! it feels as if i am being torn apart and bloodied, with longing for you!)

i will write as the mood catches me. right now i do not feel this is at all a natural way of doing it; ideally i will relax and let my thoughts just move the way they do in my head. and through my heart. i hope you will like to read these when the time comes, as i am hoping i can write down as flawlessly as possible what it is that i feel. i need to do this, or missing you will use me up and there will be nothing left of me when you return. we cannot have that because i have plans for us. ;)

i am shy to let you read, as i'm worried it will sound childish and contrived. i have reread it at least thirty-one times and i'm still not sure it is okay. i will try to polish it as i go along. after all, time is what i do have!

i love you.

ruby