He walked with despair, knowing that every step he took in the castle was his last for a while. Looking into the mirror and staring at the reflection of a broken boy turned into a king, Edmund tried to hide any visible signs of regret. Not believing the day was going to turn out the way he planned, Edmund still had hope. He washed his face with the water that was ready for him, water dripping off his eyelashes. Peering into his closet, he picked out a shirt to wear and put it on, buttoning it up till the last two buttons. Edmund combed his hair to one side and looking into the mirror one last time, he sighed and walked out of his room. 

The day did not yet feel unusual, all the servants greeted him and bowed down as he walked. He was the king and everyone across Narnia knew it, but Edmund missed the simple life, the simple boy he was. Wishing he was back in London, not caring about a country, just being silly. He knew there was no taking it back, he had a duty; put his country first. 

Walking down the huge stairs of the castle, he caught a glance of Angelina who unlike the other royal guests actually took an interest in talking to the servants. Overhearing her loud voice gasp as the maid told her about keeping the castle warm during winter made him smirk. Just like him she was from a different time, but she seemed more fascinated by the daily struggles of life in an old fashioned castle.

Upon seeing him, she rolled her eyes. Bowing her head in front of the maid she made her way towards him. Edmund caught the maid shaking her head with a smile, realizing that Angelina was not used to treating servants with disregard.

"I have prepared the horses already, it's time for another horse riding lesson, this time I will ride my own." Her smile didn't fade, she sounded proud to try riding her own horse this time.

Edmund smirked at her enthusiasm, "that's splendid, but I am afraid today I have time for a short walk only," he sighed, hoping that she'd find some time for him anyway and not be too disappointed.

"That's alright, we can go riding tomorrow then," she started to walk away, but his hand grabbed hers and pulled her back. She met his eyes, and they were filled with some sort of emotion she did not understand yet, he was sad but not quite sad.

He smiled at the ground, "actually, I would like it if you came with me, there is something important I need to tell you."

Johanna who was walking across the hall noticed them and stared intensely as they both locked glances. She couldn't believe what was unfolding in front of her, her heart was angry and hardened. The man she was supposed to marry was holding another woman's hand. Caspian appeared by her side shortly, noticing the anger in her eyes he decided to question her. Although he could guess why she was angry, perhaps he could distract her? "Miss Johanna, what is wrong?" 

Hearing his voice, she turned around and turned her frown into a smile, "absolutely nothing prince Caspian, I was just thinking of my family that the white witch killed." She lied to him, but he already knew that.

"It must be hard for you, staying in a castle, being reminded of your past life," He put his hand on her shoulder in comfort, "I am sorry for your loss." 

"Yes, thank you." Johanna pretended to tear up and stormed off.

Caspian felt bad for her sometimes, but she never accepted comfort from anyone except for Edmund, who gave her none. Wishing that he could advise Johanna at times on certain matters, Caspian wondered if she was capable of finding love again. The first day she came to Cair Paravel Johanna found out who she was to marry and grabbed onto him like a leech as if that was the purpose of her entire existence. Although Caspian knew the struggles and duties that came with being royalty, he wished for Johanna to find another purpose. She was not just a pretty face that could wear a crown.

~*~*~

They went outside, and she noticed how distracted he was. Edmund constantly fidgeted with his fingers, not knowing where to start or what to say. Instead of bombarding him with questions, she tried to enjoy his presence for a while. Noticing a wildflower growing out of its place near a castle wall, she walked up to it, making sure that she dragged him along with her. The flower was trying to get to the other side of the wall, to freedom. Angelina smiled down at its efforts, it was like her, she also was trying to get out from the castle walls. Edmund watched her curved figure as she knelt down to smell the flower.

"It smells magical, just like this entire place. You don't want to try?" She asked Edmund referencing to smelling the flower.

"I'll just admire you some more from up here," Edmund looked her in the eyes, his head leaning to the side and a small smile forming on his lips. 

"You know, your name is king Edmund the just-I think that title is misleading." Angelina moved around on the ground, situating herself more comfortably against the wall.

"How so?" Edmund asked, raising his eyebrow. 

"Well, you are the one constantly complimenting me or saying something sweet, and I say nothing of such sort to you, where is the justice in that?" She took his hand and pulled him down to sit next to her, cupping his chin in the palm of her hand. 

Edmund let out a laugh and slipped down to her level, "you can write me letters of your deepest confessions and darkest desires." He whispered into her ear and leaned his head against the wall.

 He started pulling grass out of the ground, something he did a lot when he was nervous. The movements of his fingers became more aggressive with each piece of grass he pulled out. Eyes concentrated on his work and eyebrows knitted together in discomfort.

The actions of his hands stopped when he felt her own hand softly lingering on his. Afraid to look up, Edmund let go of the grass that was stuck between his fingers. His hands were now dirty from the ground. Pulling his hands away, she looked them over, trying to read what was happening in his soul through them. Edmund never acted in such a way before. Wanting to ask him what was wrong, she raised her eyebrows and gave him a questioning look.

Edmund bit his lip, anticipating the question that was about to be asked.

"Edmund, what's wrong?" She asked.

He half-smiled, "I have to tell you something-" he stopped midway, not sure how exactly he was going to explain what he felt inside, what was tearing him apart.

Her own heart started to race. His visible nervousness put her at ease, perhaps he was going to tell her that he feels the same way for her as she does for him. Perhaps he was nervous because he is always nervous around her.

Breathing in sharply he said, "I have to leave," he said quietly, almost like a whisper. "The shadow army attacked our troops on the west border and I have to take a battalion with me."

His words crushed her expectations. This was the opposite of what she wanted to hear. Her head started spinning and her vision went blurry.

Noticing her silence he decided to continue explaining, "a king never leaves his troops behind during the war, only a coward does, so I have to go fight and-"

"Stop!" She shook her head, letting go of his hands which she was still holding. She didn't want to hear it, any of the things he was saying. They grew to be close friends and she was losing him. Tears naturally started to gather up in her eyes, for Angelina hated change, however it came. Most of all she felt selfish, she expected him to say something completely different and for that, she felt selfish.

"Angelina-" he tried to explain himself.

She shook her head again, "no, stop! Why?"

Edmund sighed, he didn't know how to tell her that he was a distraction, so with a breathy voice he said, "I am distracting you from your destiny, can't you see that?"

"You helped me find my destiny!" She raised her voice, still not understanding why everything good that was happening to her started to disappear.

He closed his eyes, "yes, but it is your turn to find it without me," taking her hands into his he looked at her, "I don't want to go away, believe me, I would give anything to stay with you, but it is just something that has to happen."

"And what if you die?" She asked, her eyes letting a tear-out. Noticing this, Edmund pulled her into a hug, his hand cupping the back of her head gently. She sunk into his warmth, even though she was angry with him for leaving. The smell of her hair filled his senses and he closed his eyes. Yes, there was a possibility of him dying, and he knew it very well. Perhaps it was going to be the last time that he saw her, but he would make sure that it was a good time.

His lack of answer scared her, and she let a few more tears fall, wetting his shoulder. "It's not fair," she whispered into his ear and he nodded his head, agreeing with her.

The once sunny morning was now being overtaken by clouds that were ominously circling around the souls of those who would face swords soon. The sun rocked the earth to peace, trying to protect it from the oncoming storm, just like Edmund rocked Angelina in his arms. He had spent a whole month and two weeks with her. She meant so much to him, and he meant so much to her.

Pressing his cheek to the side of her head, he felt her hand caress the other side of his face. It was as if she tried to memorize him with her hands to never forget him. He did the same, placing his hand on her cheek, feeling the salty tears fall down. Edmund didn't cry anymore, but that was the closest time he came to crying. Men didn't cry and that was drilled into his brain ever since he was little. But he wanted to do nothing more than to let his pain out.

"Are you going to come back to me?" She suddenly asked, calming down, but still remaining in his arms. Her saying that made him feel like he belonged to her, and it was a good sort of feeling. Edmund sighed, not knowing how to answer that.

"I will try my hardest," he looked down.

She pulled herself away from him and his warmth, "how long do you have left?"

Edmund glanced at his watch, "about twenty minutes, I still have to go and check my battalion and pack some things."

She nodded, understanding that they didn't have much time together. Wanting to tell him so much about what she felt towards him, she couldn't, her fear wouldn't let her. So, she just held his hand, for the time being, waiting for him to make the last goodbye. They didn't need to talk, it was enough for them to be in the presence of each other. He turned into her best friend, but she was realizing that he was becoming much more.

Edmund said goodbye to her, this time he was the one to kiss her on the cheek, a cheek wet because of tears and hot because of anger. He looked back as many times as possible when he walked down a pathway to the shack where his battalion was situated. He already resented his brother in his heart for commanding him to do such a thing, but he complied because he knew that it was the right thing to do.

Edited (4/1/2020)