Chapter Twenty-One
I woke up with him still holding me, feeling his soft exhalations on my face. I stayed where I was, enjoying looking at his face in repose, relaxing. He looked so young when he slept, his face wiped free of all expression, with no glimmer of the humor or wit that lived there when he was awake. I wondered if our children would look like that, so angelic, with such perfect features. Surely there would have to be a little of me somewhere, some darkness of the eyes, a little Asian lilt to the face somewhere?
He opened his eyes, startling me. He smiled at me, reinforcing the image of a child, innocent and joyful.
"Good morning," he murmured in his gravelly, just-woke-up voice, pulling me close.
"Good morning," I returned, hooking my leg over him, eliminating every bit of open space between us.
"There is absolutely nothing in the world as good as waking up with you next to me," he said, stretching, squeezing me tightly, laughing as he did so. "Mmm." He released me.
"So, love, how would you like to spend today, hmm?" He looked at me. "What would be the best thing for us to do? Or would it be better if you were alone? Or what?"
"You'd better not leave me alone today, Theodore Shelley," I said sternly. "I need you with me." I thought about this. What had I done on performance days before? What had I done on any day before? Had I even really been alive before I'd known Teddy and the boys?
He leaned his forehead on mine. "What on earth are you thinking about, looking so serious before we've even got out of bed?"
I shook my head. "Nothing important." I kissed him. "Come on, let's go take a shower."
He smiled, then it faded.
"What?" I asked. "Shower sex lost its allure for you all of a sudden? I suppose we don't have to if you'd rather not, though I must admit I myself was kind of looking forward to it."
"Well, I was just thinking, what if it's like with Olympic athletes and those lot, you know?" He looked at me, brows knit. "How they, um, abstain on competition days to make themselves stronger or whatever? What if there's something to that?" He looked serious. "Maybe we'd better not."
I sat up, staring down at him. "Are you fucking kidding me? If anything, going into a very tense situation like a piano competition nice and calm will be a good thing, so get your ass in the shower, Shelley, and do your part to help me win the scholarship by fucking my brains out good and proper. And if I might make a suggestion, you should probably plan to keep me good and properly fucked for the rest of the day, okay?"
I got off the bed and stalked off toward the bathroom, resisting the urge to turn around and see if he was following me.
It turned out he was, and he did.
We met the boys in the lobby, intending to go out for a late breakfast, but the whole world knew they were in the city for my audition, and it was a zoo outside the hotel, making it impossible for us to leave; we had to eat inside the Plaza. It was fine, and the food was good, but I'd been looking forward to our diner.
"Is it going to be like this when we leave this afternoon?" I worried as we ate. "I'd forgotten what a circus it can be when the four of you are together."
"We don't have to all go together, Tink, it won't be a problem," Matthew said. "Don't worry."
"Yeah. You and I have to get there much earlier, anyway, don't we?" asked Teddy, drinking his tea. "I mean, you have to be there at, what, four? They don't open the house until six, I think, right lads?" He looked at the boys, who nodded. "I'm not even sure if they'll let me in at four, actually, it might just be you and Professor Van Dyke."
I thought about this. He might be right. I began to worry.
"Fuck." This from Teddy. "I shouldn't even have brought that up, now you've one more thing to fret about." He put an arm around my shoulder and rubbed my arm. "Don't, don't worry about it. If they won't let me go backstage with you, I'll just catch a cab and come back to the hotel, no big deal.
"In fact, why don't we plan for you to go alone from the beginning?" He looked at me. "I mean, once you get there, the Prof will be with you, and I'll just be in the way, anyway, won't be anything I can do, will there?" I shook my head.
"I'll put you in the taxi, and I'll see you at the performance, will that be okay with you, or do you want me to come with you?" he asked in a soft voice, leaning toward me.
I thought about it. It hadn't occurred to me that he might be turned away at the backstage entrance, but he really had nothing to do with my performance. He wasn't my instructor or advisor, he was my boyfriend. The thought of him having to leave me at the stage entrance was bad. I would much rather say goodbye at the hotel.
"I'd rather you just put me in a cab, here at the hotel, actually," I said. "And you could just come with the boys? That would be fun."
He smiled, leaning in to kiss me. "Let's do that, then."
I suddenly realized that it was quiet, and looked around the table. The boys had stopped talking and were looking at us, smiling like fond parents. I looked down, embarrassed. Ronan, who was sitting next to me on the other side, put an arm around me and kissed my temple, blinking away tears as he smiled. Some lucky paparazzo got a picture of that kiss, and I saw it online under the caption, 'Ronan Donohue calms Tinker Bell's last minute nerves on day of big audition'.
"So, little one, what are you going to wear, then?" asked Gethin.
"Well, these affairs are very conservative. They sort of got stuck in the last century, and can't seem to get out," I said, laughing. "There's not much leeway in dress code. No heels, can't show any leg, or cleavage, nothing that will quote distract from the performance in any way end quote, get it?"
"I see," he said with a smile.
"There are some people who are trying to push the envelope a little these days, but they're actual performers." I looked around the table. "People who are auditioning wouldn't dream of pushing anything. You don't want to do anything that would give the judges a reason to reject you. So no jewelry, conservative make up, hair up and away, follow all the rules, you know, careful, careful, careful.
"So I have a simple black floor length dress, with black flats, and I just tie my hair up in a pony tail. The idea is to keep the focus on the hands and the piano."
Some girls who were lucky enough to actually be staying at the Plaza and were therefore allowed access to the restaurant approached us for pictures and autographs with the boys, which of course they agreed to. They surprised me by offering me good luck on my audition tonight, best wishes on a fantastic performance. I was really touched, and so was Teddy, because he went out of his way to thank them, and to kiss the one who said it on the cheek.
"Well, it's eleven, what'll we do now?" Matty asked. "I don't think leaving the hotel is a good idea; we might not be able to get back in time to get cleaned up to get over to Hamilton, you know?"
"I agree," said Geth. "This seems like a good day to hang out in our rooms and play BZG, what do you think?" This was met with general agreement. We headed toward the elevator, but when Teddy didn't get off with them on their floor, I held the door.
"You should go with them," I encouraged. "Go play, spend some time with them, have some fun."
"No, absolutely not," he insisted. "I'm staying with you until I put you in the taxi, love. I can play BZG with them literally any time." I took a deep breath, but he put a finger over my mouth. "Absolutely not," he repeated. "Now stop," he said softly, removing my hand from the door and letting it close. "Besides, aren't you the one who told me not to leave you alone today?"
We got up to our room. "Now, what do you want to do?" he asked me.
"I want a mani-pedi," I said.
He picked up the phone and called downstairs. Twenty minutes later a manicurist was at our door; an hour after that, she was finished, my fingers and toes a gorgeous iridescent magenta color, completely dry.
He looked at me, smiling, a very soft look. "What next, hummingbird?" he asked.
"I want you to give me a bath," I said softly.
"You mean you want bath sex?" he asked, nearly in a whisper.
I shook my head. "I mean, I want to take a bath, and I want you to wash me," I said, even more softly, into his ear. "Will you do that for me?"
He looked at me, closed his eyes and swallowed, nodding. "Of course, sweetheart, whatever you want." I rose and went into the bathroom, shedding my clothes as I went.
I plucked at his shirt. "You should probably take that off so it doesn't get wet," I mentioned. He pulled it off and tossed it aside.
I bent over the tub in my see-through underwear, putting in the stopper, turning on the water, adding the bubble bath, bending over even farther to swirl the water around as I turned the jets on low. Teddy leaned against the wall, watching me. As I mixed the water, some of it splashed up on me, wetting my bra, making it cling to me. I stood up to face him, leaning into him for a soft kiss.
"Will you help me take this off?" I looked up at him, brushing against his front, nipples hard as pebbles against his chest.
"Sure," he said in a low voice, reaching out an unsteady hand to pop the hooks. Because it was wet, the cups really clung, and he had to peel them off, revealing my round breasts, nipples small and erect in the middle, incredibly sensitive to his touch. I stuck my thumbs into my undies, peeling them down into a sodden bunch.
I stepped into the tub, handing him a washcloth first. I lay down, wetting my hair, watching my breasts bob up to the surface of the water. I finally sat up and handed Teddy the shampoo bottle. He squeezed some into his hands, and lathered up my hair. It was the most marvelous feeling to have his fingers in my hair, massaging my scalp, holding the hand held shower to rinse it off. I leaned my head back, luxuriating in the feel of the warm water coursing over my head and down my back. He sighed, watching the water cascade down my body. I smiled with the sheer physical pleasure of it.
He put the bottle aside and squeezed some liquid soap onto the washcloth. He started with my face and shoulders, slowly working his way down, holding each arm out of the water and rubbing the wash cloth all the way around to make sure I was clean all over. My underarms were ticklish, and I laughed and tried to pull away, but he smiled and held firm, making sure I was rinsed off. Then he washed my back, murmuring how beautiful it was, how the muscles moved back and forth as he washed. He leaned in to kiss my neck, and I moaned and leaned in to him, there was no helping it.
Then he turned to my front, washing my breasts, and by then I was so turned on that the friction created by the washcloth was nearly unbearable. I moaned, pulling his head down to them. He exhaled his warm breath on them, kissing first one, then the other. The sounds he made were almost enough to make me come all by themselves.
He pulled back, saying, "I'm not finished washing you, young lady," with a smile.
He washed my midriff, rubbing lower and lower, finally getting to my sex. Even in the water, he could feel how slick I was, how soft and open, how ready; he moved the washcloth gently against the folds of my sex.
"Oh my god, what are you doing to me?" I moaned softly.
"Washing you, giving you a bath, like you said," he responded in a soft voice, smiling. He leaned into me. "You're so fucking beautiful right now," he said.
He finished up by washing my legs and feet, tickling me a little bit.
I sighed, eyes closed, completely relaxed.
He pulled the plug. "Come on, darling, time to get out," he said, still speaking to me softly.
"Already?" I asked, feeling like a child at an amusement park. He just motioned for me to step out.
I stopped talking and obediently stood up and climbed out, walking to where he was waiting with a huge fluffy towel.
He rubbed me slowly, all over, from top to bottom, lifting each foot while I balanced myself by placing a hand on his shoulder.
Once I was dry, he helped me put on one of his flannel button down shirts, with nothing underneath. I went and lay down on the bed, under the covers, where he joined me a couple minutes later.
"What now?" he whispered. "You want to take a little nap?" You still have a couple hours before you have to get ready."
I smiled at him drowsily. "I'm so, so ready for sleepy sex now, if you are," I said, pulling myself to him and kissing him, my mouth hot and moist on his.
He exhaled explosively against my mouth. "Oh, thank god!" he said, his relief palpable. "I was seriously considering just taking care of business on my own if you'd taken a nap, honest to Christ. Touching you in the bath was torture." He kissed me, hand on my throat, long fingers splayed out, holding my neck, a huge kiss, moaning, breathing through his nose.
I pulled his pants off. He kissed me again while unbuttoning my shirt, making happy noises as he spread it apart.
"Your skin is always so lovely, but especially when you've just come out of the bath," he whispered. He pulled me to him, so we were torso to torso. "Mmm, god, so, so soft," he murmured, kissing me over and over.
I pulled his underwear down as far as I could, getting them the rest of the way off with my foot, pulling them down to the bottom of the bed. I hooked my leg over him, guiding him into me with my hand.
He sighed deeply and long. " So wet, you're so wet, and warm, like hot oil, Jesus." I kissed him again, causing him to say, "Everything about you is just soft and glowing and so, so sexy right now, please, don't even twitch, or I'm going to come, and I want this feeling to last--" All of this in a gasping whisper as he looked at me, stroking my hair.
I gazed back into his beautiful eyes, trying not to move. He bent his head to kiss me, probing with his tongue and moaning, a sound of utter happiness and contentment which pushed me right over the edge and into an orgasm, completely out of my control.
He felt the spasms deep inside me, and that did it for him. "Ah, fuck, here I come," he gasped, pulling me close, with deep, effortful breathing.
I finally felt him begin to relax, his hold on me opening a bit, his breathing slowing a little. I kissed him, smiling.
"I love you, you make me so happy, thank you," I whispered to him.
"Oh, you're just so, so--" I watched his eyebrows knit as he searched for whatever word he was looking for.
"What?" I asked, laughing. "I'm so what? You just going to leave me hanging?"
"I can't even think of a word for what you mean to me," he said, tracing my face with this forefinger. "I don't think it exists in the English language, frankly.
"You're the most valuable thing in my life, the thing that gives everything in my life value," he murmured, turning us so we were side by side on the bed. He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled my head close to kiss me, rubbing my nose with his after.
He reached behind him, grabbing his phone and pushing some buttons.
"I've set my alarm, so you can sleep now, my love, okay?" he whispered. "I'll hold you, and you take a nap." He kissed me again. "Sleep, sleep, sweetheart, so you can be my hummingbird and fly free tonight, right? Hmm?"
I nodded, smiling at him, kissing him back. He was sleeping within two minutes, holding me in his arms. I sighed and relaxed into him, completely content, and not worried at all about tonight.
I thought about the audition, and about freedom, and the illusion of it. I wasn't free, not really; even if I got the scholarship, I'd be in debt for years.
The truth was that I needed to just run with what I could, and leave the rest alone. Why did I spend so much time fretting over what couldn't be helped? So much time wasted worrying over what I couldn't control, that's what Professor Van Dyke was talking about. That was what the boys innately understood about life, but what seemed so hard for me to grasp. I needed to be brave.
I needed to be brave.
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