⚠️ Warning - this chapter contains mentions of sexual abuse. Please read with caution. ⚠️

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~ Daniela's POV ~

"Carson...baby I should go."

"Hm...really?" I felt him smirk against my skin, loosening his grip on my hair before he eventually pulled away, bringing his lips close to mine. "I'll text you when we're leaving but it will probably be about 7pm."

Nodding my head, I pressed a kiss to his lips before I quickly stood up, grabbing his empty pasta plate will leaving the pastry there for him. When I took a step towards the door I heard him speak again in a much lower voice causing me to stop. "Or maybe 6pm."

When I turned my head back to look at him, I felt my cheeks redden when I saw his gaze focused firmly on my behind in my jeans. Shaking my head, I walked away hearing his laughter fade behind me as I left his office heading back downstairs.

Just after I'd taken the plate back to Giana in the kitchen, not forgetting to tell her how much Carson loved her food, I heard a weird tapping sound by the front door when I entered the entry hall again. Looking around at the rarely empty hallway, the only other sound that I could hear was Grey speaking to the members of the Hollande Family somewhere in one of the meeting rooms downstairs.

He didn't exactly sound happy either.

Letting out a sigh, I walked towards the front door where the odd, soft tapping was still coming from, unlocking it to open it. When I opened it at first I thought I was just hearing things when I didn't see anyone standing there, but then something lower down on the floor caught my eye.

My eyes widened as I stared at the little girl who couldn't have been older than three clutching a stuffed monkey in her hand as she looked up at me. Lifting my gaze away from her I tried to look around for any guards who I could get some kind of information from but they were all at the bottom of the drive by the gates.

"Apa?" When she spoke in a soft inquisitive tone I looked down at her again, trying to hide my total confusion as best as I could. "Um...hi..."

I love children, but I've never had a chance to be around babies before, I had no clue what to do.

"Apa?" When she repeated the same word that I couldn't understand, I eventually bent down so that I was at her height. "What's your name baby?"

When she heard my question she looked at me for a moment with her big brown eyes, holding onto her stuffed toy before she eventually gave me a shy smile.

"Sara. You?"

"I'm Dani, it's nice to meet you. What are you doing here Sara?" I mean, it probably wasn't the best question to ask her but I honestly had no clue what the hell was going on. "Apa."

"I don't..." Before I could try to explain to her that I didn't know what in the world she was saying, the sound of shouting somewhere in the house caught my attention causing me to turn around. While I was distracted by the noise she let out a whimper at the sound, causing me to turn back to face her.

"It's okay, don't worry." I reached out to take her free hand in mine which prompted her to come in closer to me before I stood up to my full height.

"Come inside." Listening to my instruction she stepped inside, allowing me to close the door as the shouting became even louder. Within seconds she let out another whimper as she stepped even closer to my leg, clutching her stuffed monkey to her chest.

I had no clue what I was supposed to do in that situation. I didn't know who she was or how she managed to get to the front door, but I also didn't know where to take her or who to ask for help.

"Apa." When she said it again in a more frustrated tone, I let out a sigh, turning my attention away from the empty entry hall and back towards her. "Baby you need to tell me what that means."

This time when she spoke, she pointed to herself when she repeated the same word. "My Apa."

Before I could try to make any kind of sense out of this situation a loud bang came from a room down the hall causing her to let out a cry, flinching at the noise. Almost instantly she burst into tears as I lifted her up into my arms, trying to soothe her as my own panic very quickly set in.

Her cries echoed in the hallway as her plump cheeks begin to redden and the tears slowly fell down her cheeks.

"It's okay, don't cry Sara."

Holding her in my arms I started making my way towards the kitchen to find Giana who was the only motherly figure in this entire house, when the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs caught my attention.

"Dani?" When I heard his voice I turned around, almost crying out in relief when I saw Carson staring at me in confusion, and then at the child in my arms.

"Sara?"

"Apa." When she said it again through her tears, Carson came in closer to her me, reaching out to stroke her cheek speaking to her first before he turned his attention back to me. "I'll get him soon baby. Dani what the hell is going on?"

"I don't know Carson, I heard some noise by the front door and I opened it and found her just standing alone. I don't know who she is or what she's saying."

When he noted my panic and confusion at first he nodded his head before he let out a sigh. "Apa is how she says papa, it's because she's-"

Before Carson could get the words out, a sudden gun shot rang out from the same room causing me to flinch and the girl in my arms to start crying even louder.

"Stay here." Without wasting any time Carson ran off in the direction of the gun shots while I held the girl in my arms, rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her down. The fact that she was holding on to me so tightly somehow managed to comfort me when I saw my boyfriend running towards a situation which was no doubt dangerous.

During those few minutes, I walked in circles in the entry hall holding her in my arms as I whispered things to calm her down. Even when security and some of Carson's men were running around us, I tried to keep her head resting in the crook of my neck so that she didn't get startled over again.

Once the commotion died down and, there was a lot of it down the hallway where all the action seemed to be happening, finally Carson returned this time with Grey.

"Sara?" At the sound of Grey's voice Sara suddenly perked up and I turned to look at him, allowing her to see him for the first time.

"Apa!" The moment she laid eyes on Grey she unwrapped her arms from around my neck holding them out in his direction. Within seconds he was next to me, gently taking her from my arms before he held her against his chest.

She's Grey's daughter?

"Baby what are you doing here?" As Grey questioned the little girl taking note of her red nose and tear stained cheeks, I felt Carson come and stand next to me placing his hand on the small of my back. "Mama says I go to Apa."

The moment she mentioned her mother Grey shook his head, clenching his jaw as he rested his chin on her head for some reason clearly trying to keep his cool. She didn't even seem to take any notice of his sudden change in mood though, instead holding onto him as she became more relaxed in the familiar embrace of her father.

"You found her?" When Grey suddenly turned his attention to Carson, he shook his head gesturing towards me instead. "No Dani did, she said Sara was waiting outside by the front door."

"For how long?" When Grey shifted his attention to me I shrugged my shoulders suddenly feeling nervous under his angry gaze. "I don't know, I just heard her tapping on the door so I opened it."

It seemed like he did a double take when I told him I found her outside on the doorstep and I could tell the news got to him when he looked away from me shaking his head. I can't imagine as a parent how it would feel to find that out.

She must have been so scared and lonely on her own.

"Is she yours?" When I questioned him, he turned to look at me holding my gaze for a moment before he eventually nodded his head. He didn't say another word as he glanced back in the direction he just came in, towards the room where the gun shots came from down the hallway.

"Can you take her Dani? Carson and I need to sort something out with those motherfu-" When he suddenly cut himself he frowned in his discomfort glancing down at Sara in his arms who smiled back innocently.

Huh, it really did pain them not to swear.

"But I don't know how to look after a child, I've never-"

Completely ignoring the sudden panic in my voice he stepped closer to me as he cut me off.

"It won't be for long, just a few hours." He didn't wait for me to give him an answer as he handed her back to me causing her to giggle during the transition while I was now crying on the inside.

When I turned to look to Carson in desperation, silently begging him for help me, he flashed me a smile before he quickly followed Grey down the hallway, while I stood there glaring at his back.

And he thinks I'm going to have sex with him after that? I'm just adding it to the list of things to punish him for.

"So..." When I turned my attention back towards her, she flashed me a toothy grin while I looked around at the empty hallway awkwardly. Clearly she'd gotten over her crying from earlier, now that she'd finally seen her father who she'd been asking for all this time.

Now that I think about it, it's actually so cute the way she calls him Apa.

But, nevertheless it didn't matter how cute she was, this is definitely not what I had in mind for my second day working in the mafia as an accountant. I spent the morning learning about guns now I'm babysitting.

Freaking babysitting.

But she was cute.

"You want something to drink?" When I said the word drink suddenly coming up with an idea to pass the time, she perked up nodding her head excitedly. "Shuice please."

Despite my nerves at being left alone with her I couldn't help but laugh as I nodded my head, walking her towards the kitchen.

"Oh my baby!"

The moment we stepped into the kitchen and the heavenly aroma of Italian pastries invaded my senses, Giana rushed over to me when she saw Sara in my arms. Within seconds Giana's motherly presence caused the little girl in my arms to reach out for her. As Giana took her from my arms she lifted her up a little higher in the air giving her a once over before hugging her.

"Look how big you've gotten, you're so pretty mia bella." (My beauty)

"Gi-Gi." Sara said the words as she hugged Giana before she was finally put down on the counter where she rested her stuffed monkey on her lap. "Let me make you some food Sara, I will make you anything, absolutely anything for my principessa." (Princess)

And that's how I spent the next hour in the kitchen feeding Sara some left over cheesy pasta, a small Italian pastry and some shuice while she babbled on about something or another to me. Half of what she said I couldn't understand, but I nodded along anyway which she seemed to appreciate.

I did learn though that she was almost three years old and Giana explained to me that Sara hadn't been here for quite a long time which is why everyone was so surprised to see her. I didn't ask why though, I didn't want to appear nosey and she was Grey's daughter. He wasn't exactly my friend, I don't think he'd appreciate me asking the chef about his personal business.

I just want to know how she ended up alone on the doorstep though, because that whole situation was still confusing as hell to me.

After she became full from her food, I took her upstairs to Carson's living room on the third floor where we sat and did some drawing on some paper we got from Greys office when I went to get my belongings. That just ended with her drawing circles and scribbles all over the page but she was excited so it made me happy. After that, when Carson and Grey still weren't back from their business we watched some kind of random show on TV that she seemed excited for when she saw it.

"Sleep?"

"You want to sleep?" When she nodded her head, rubbing her eyes she leaned into me on the couch although she really did seem uncomfortable. Stroking her hair I gave her a soft smile as she pouted her lips, shuffling about to try and get comfortable.

"How about we put you to bed baby?" When she heard my voice she looked up at me with her big brown eyes nodding her head and stretching out her arms prompting me to pick her up. Carrying her into the familiar bedroom I spent one night in a few weeks ago, I slipped off her shoes before I pulled back the sheets laying her down in the bed.

"Pooble." Yes, that's what she named her stuffed monkey.

Pooble.

Letting out a laugh, I went back to the living room to retrieve her stuffed animal, bringing it back to her. When she took it from my arms she clutched it tight to her chest, keeping her eyes on me.

"You too."

"Me?" When I rose an eyebrow at her she pulled back the covers even more and shuffled across the bed, making space for me which just melted my entire heart.

At that very moment I had to strongly remind myself I was only 21 and that I didn't need any children right now.

Giving her a smile, I bent down and undid the little buckles on my heels before I got into bed with her causing her to come back closer to me, moving into my arms. I watched as she snuggled into me getting comfortable before she closed her eyes.

"Bye Dani." Another laugh left my lips at her words as I hugged her to my chest, stroking her hair as I rested my head on the pillow that smelled like Carson.

"Bye sweetie."

As I lay there closing my eyes, my mind suddenly drifted to thoughts of what Carson and I's children would be like. For some reason unlike before the thought didn't scare me, instead I felt so much peace from the idea as I drifted off to sleep.

~ Carson's POV ~

We ended up spending hours with Phillipe Hollande, the youngest brother of the Hollande family and one of his colleagues who wasn't directly related to the family. When I say that, I mean we had them held in the basement while our best men pushed them for answers on what their family had been planning behind the scenes during their extended trip to New York. If my men couldn't get anything out of them easily then their orders were to torture it out of them.

Our plan was always to let them go in the end, but after what Dani said about them potentially attacking us and then scuffle that happened earlier, I wanted to send a message with them.

Apparently, those gun shots were only fired because my guards got too close to them during an argument they were having with Grey and they didn't like it. Thankfully no one on my side was hurt, but it did mean someone had to get my guy in to plaster the wall and repaint where the few bullets went in.

That was a regular occurrence in this house, we were all actually on first name basis with him now. His name is Ted, he's a nice guy.

"We're not getting anything boss, he's almost unconscious now." When I walked into the room where Phillipe was being held with his wrists tied above his head, Xander, my best torturer you could say, gave me the update.

Nodding my head, I stood in the doorway as my eyes remained focused on his beaten and bruised body. I didn't even feel anything, no remorse, no guilt, no shame.

He fired gun shots while Dani was in the building, while Sara was here. I didn't give a damn about what happened to him.

"Wait until he's conscious enough and then brand him and send him back to his family. I want them to get the message, no one opens fire in my house and gets away with it. If they're planning anything else, let this be a warning to them of what will happen."

The moment I mentioned the branding, Xander smiled at me since this was always his favourite part. Whenever we tortured someone, if they were lucky to be let out alive, we would mark them with a hot iron brand so they would bare our symbol for the rest of their lives.

It was brutal, but these people were never innocent, they weren't normal people. They knew what they were getting into when they signed up for this life of crime and in this case, the Hollande family was one of the worst in France.

Giving him one last stare, I left the room heading into the hallway where Grey was waiting for me. It was already 7:30pm, a few hours since that incident happened with Sara earlier and I knew he was aching to go and find her. He hadn't seen her in weeks.

"Come on." When he heard my voice he pulled his eyes away from his phone, letting out a sigh as he put it in his pocket. "Still nothing?"

"I've done everything I can. I've called and texted, I sent some men to her house to find her - nothing. The guards at the gate said Maria just turned up and they'd always been told to grant her access as the mother of my daughter. She left her on the doorstep and disappeared."

"Why didn't the guards bring Sara inside and find you?" At this he only shook his head as we walked through the basement, towards the stairs. "They're incompetent fools, that's why. They left my two year old daughter outside on the freaking doorstep to knock on the door herself."

I swear if I was one of those girls who cried at everything, like Dani, I would have cried at the thought of Sara trying to get into the house on her own. But I didn't cry, although it did hurt since I loved that little girl.

To find them first we looked in the kitchen, the living room and even Grey's office before we finally checked my room upstairs. The moment I saw the random pieces of paper strewn around the living room floor with scribbles and doodles on, a smile tugged at my lips.

"I think she's been here." My words caused Grey to smile as he began to pick up all the papers while I went into the bedroom to find Dani.

That was one thing to note about Grey, he may be a freaking jerk sometimes but he was one of the most respectful men I'd ever met. It didn't even matter to him that we were looking for his daughter, there was no way he was going to go into the bedroom where Dani was without knowing it was okay.

Pushing open the door, my eyes instantly landed on the two figures curled up in the bed together in the dark. There was something I couldn't explain about the sight, it just hit me in a way I didn't see coming.

For a split second I had this image of one day coming home to her and our children to find them asleep in our bed like this. It was something I never thought I could even dream about let alone have one day. I never thought I'd have the chance to be a father, if I even wanted to bring my own child into my screwed up life, but now I had that possibility and with her.

If it wasn't with her I knew in my heart I didn't want it. She was the only woman who would ever be good enough for me, just her.

"They're asleep." When I forced my eyes away from their sleeping figures, turning back to face Grey I saw he'd finished tidying up the living room as he nodded his head heading over to where I keep my alcohol. "Let's have a drink first and then you can wake them up."

We took maybe ten minutes to sit and enjoy a drink together after the crazy day we had. One glass wasn't enough for me but I knew I needed to drive us back to Manhattan and there was no way I was going to drink and drive even if I was sure it wasn't enough to affect me.

Not with her in the car.

It fell silent between us, the two of us lost in our own thoughts until I finally asked him a question I'm sure he knew was coming at some point.

"What did you say to her?" When I muttered the words, keeping my eyes focused on the glass of bourbon in my hand, Grey instantly knew what I meant.

He took a moment to answer, letting out a breath.

"We were talking about something, I can't remember what it was and she started rambling when I got a text from Maria this morning. It was another one of her texts to tell me I would never see Sara again, then Dani told me I wasn't a good listener which is exactly what Maria used to say to me."

Choosing not to say a word, I just waited for him to tell me whatever he said that was bad enough to stop her from wanting to ask him any questions about work. Honestly I didn't give a crap about the context, but I let him say it anyway.

"I told her to shut the hell up and that..." When his words nervously trailed off I glanced in his direction before I brought my eyes back down to the amber liquid in my glass. "That you unfortunately had to endure listening to her speak but I was being forced to sit with her so I didn't."

His words hung in the air and smartly he didn't dare say a word to me as I processed his words, taking a moment to finish my drink before I turned to face him.

"Your daughter is in the other room so I'm not going to hit you. But, I swear to you Grey, if you ever say another bad word to her again, I don't give a damn who you are to me, I'll make you suffer."

He kept his eyes focused on the floor as he nodded his head letting out a sigh. "I didn't mean to say it - not like that, I'll apologise to her Carson. I was just so angry and-"

"Don't, I don't want to hear your excuses. You have no idea what that girl has been through, she didn't deserve what you said to her. Then you had the freaking nerve to tell her that I didn't want to listen to what she had to say. You have no idea what I feel when I'm with her, it wasn't your freaking place."

The longer I thought about it, the more I felt the anger inside me spark and it took every ounce of self control inside me not to slam my fist into his face. While Grey chose to refill his glass I took a moment to calm down before I finally got up to go and wake Dani.

"Baby?" When I placed my hand on her arm, shaking her gently as I whispered, her eyes fluttered a little. I thought she was going to wake up but all she ended up doing was getting more comfortable, pulling Sara in closer to her.

She really was a difficult person to wake up.

"Dani." When I said her name a little louder she didn't move, until I finally pulled the covers off her a little to get through to her faster. I was never the most patient person.

"Go away." Without opening her eyes she pushed my hands away, attempting to find the covers again to cover herself. "Wake up baby, let's go home and have dinner."

"I like it here." Shaking my head, I let out a sigh as I tugged on her arm to turn her to face me. "Get up."

When my usual lack of patience came through she finally forced her eyes open sending me a glare. Letting out a tired breath, she began to sit up when she turned her attention to Sara who was still clinging to her.

"I hope you feel guilty for this, we were fine how we were then you had to come and ruin it." She whispered her words to me before she gently pushed Sara away causing her eyes to open as she let out a whimper.

"It's okay baby, your daddy is here to take you."

"Apa?" Dani nodded her head giving her a smile as she got out of the bed next to me smoothing out the material of her oversized button up shirt. When Sara reached her arms out for someone to pick her up, I gently moved Dani to the side so I could pick her up into my arms.

Once I carried her out to Grey, he took her from my arms causing her to curl up into him before she closed her eyes again. Once he had a good hold on her, he gave me a nod of acknowledgment before his eyes caught on to Dani behind me.

"Thank you for taking care of her." When I turned to look at her, I saw Dani carrying her heels as she walked over to the couch where her purse was on the floor, before she sat down to put them back on. "Don't worry about it, she's so sweet, I loved it."

She gave him a smile as she put her shoes on, which only annoyed more when I remembered what he said to her. He didn't know her insecurities about having no friends, but I know his words would have hurt her. He doesn't deserve her smiles.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you."

And then he gives her that crappy apology.

Forcing a tight smile onto her face she stood up as she picked up her purse, nodding her head in acknowledgement of his apology.

Once Grey left to take Sara to bed, it didn't take us long to leave the house heading back to Manhattan. It was actually much more quiet between us than usual, only because Dani was still half asleep for most of the drive. It was only when we got close to home that I noticed she was more awake and I decided to speak to her while I had the chance.

"There's a few things I wanted to talk to you about." When I said the words she reached out to turn the volume of the music down, turning her body to face me. "What is it?"

"I think you should move some of your things to the house, just so that we don't have to drive back to Manhattan everyday. It'll make life easier."

At this she surprisingly nodded her head very quickly, giving me a smile. "I've already been thinking about that. Today when I had my nap, I realised how cool that would be - I can just go and nap whenever I want during the day."

Her response caused me to chuckle as I nodded my head in agreement. "I'm sure at some point though, you will have some actual work to do for me."

"Maybe, if I ever get done learning everything."

"You will, don't worry." I nodded my head, glancing over at her to give her an encouraging smile before she spoke in a tentative tone. "Carson?"

When I turned to look at her with a raise brow, she shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. "Can you teach me? I know you're really busy and you have better things to do but I would really prefer you instead of Grey."

Just like that I wanted to beat the crap out of him all over again.

"Okay beautiful. We'll start tomorrow just let me see what I've got going, I'll spend some time with you and you can ask me any questions you have." At this she only gave me a smile, nodding her head before I continued. "He told me what he said to you."

"I don't want to talk about it Carson."

"I know baby, but I want to tell you anyway, it's not freaking true and...as much as I want to kill him, and trust me that's a lot, he's still my idiot friend. He didn't mean it, what you said was just the wrong thing at the wrong time."

I wasn't defending him for his sake, I was only telling her because I was hoping that if she understood why he said it and that her words triggered something in him then she would maybe realise it's not true.

"I'm just tired of him being such a jerk to me Carson. I haven't done anything to anyone, ever. I think the worst thing I've ever done was when I killed George and when I attempted to leave you in Portland. Apart from that I've never hurt anyone, but everyone hates me. Everything just goes badly for me."

When I heard the hurt and sadness in her tone as she finished her sentence, I just wanted to park my car in the middle of the damn road and give her a hug.

"Those weren't even bad things that you did, I've told you countless times George deserved it and the world is better off without him. As for what happened in Portland, I would have come after you in Iowa anyway, so it wouldn't have mattered in the end. The story would have just been different."

I noticed from the corner of my eye as I drove her turning to face me, giving me one of her heart stopping smiles. "You would have come after me in Ohio?"

"Of course baby. It's not like you made it a secret, every freaking day you kept going on about going back to Iowa." When I got the name wrong again, this time on purpose she just let out a laugh shaking her head.

"Back to my original point, no one hates you baby. Avi and Fox love you, I love you and Grey is an idiot. He'll come around, and if he doesn't I'll beat the crap out of him."

"Don't do that. Carson I want to be able to tell you things that happen but I don't want you fighting my battles for me. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself." When I heard the seriousness in her tone I didn't glance in her direction or acknowledge her words in any way as I drove. "Carson I mean it, promise me you'll leave me to deal with my own things."

"But-"

"Promise me." Finally I let out a groan, nodding my head. "I freaking promise."

"So what was the other thing you wanted to talk to me about?" When she happily continued the conversation I rolled my eyes, turning into the underground parking lot of my building.

"My family want to meet you."

My words hung in the air as I parked the car, turning the engine off before I turned to face her properly.

"Your family?" She didn't give much away in her expression but I could tell the thought made her nervous. "Yeah, the couple of times I've spoken to my mom on the phone since I saw her she's asked about you. I haven't even seen my sister or my brother yet, they're still angry at me but I know they want to meet you."

"Why are you they mad?" She gave me a confused frown, her voice softening as she looked at me with sadness.

This girl really felt everything, she could never have a conversation without getting all up in her feelings.

"Because according to Poppy I should have not got kidnapped and Kai is just an idiot."

"That's the second time you've spoken about him like that to me." When she gave me a look of disapproval I suddenly felt like I was a dang child all over again.

This woman was turning me into a pussy and I was letting it happen.

"As for your sister, she's probably more upset about the fact you haven't made much of an effort to see her."

"I've been busy, you know that." Almost instantly she nodded her head as she picked up her purse off the floor, opening the door on her side before she turned back to face me. "I know baby, I'm not having a go at you at all, I'm trying make you understand what she's probably thinking."

She gave me a small smile before she got out of the car, closing the door behind herself. We didn't say much as we walked to the elevator but when we got inside she stepped into my arms, sliding her hands under my suit jacket as she wrapped her arms around my waist in a hug.

Just holding her in my arms was bliss.

We stood there without a word being said for the entirety of the elevator ride and when the doors finally opened I pressed a kissed to her forehead causing her to smile. As we stepped into the penthouse, she grabbed my hand to stop me from heading towards the stairs.

"Stay here, I'll call you in a second."

"Why?" All she did was shake her head, giving me a quick kiss before she went upstairs. Letting out a sigh, I loosened my tie before I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of scotch to pass the time.

Just as I was pouring my second glass, I heard her call my name from upstairs causing me to quickly down the the liquor before I made my way upstairs I find out what the hell she was doing. Heading towards the master bedroom, I pushed open the door stepping into the dimly lit room.

The scent of the candles burning in the background invaded my senses as I closed the door, turning to face the room while she finished lighting the last candle.

At the sound of my entrance, she put the lighter down and turned around to face me giving me one her usual breath taking smiles.

"I know I'm still mad at you, but you looked so stressed out and I wanted to do something nice for you."

All I can say is damn I'm lucky.

<<<<<<< >>>>>>> <<<<<<<

Lying there on the bed, I could tell she was deep in thought. Daniela wasn't selfish, especially in the bedroom. But there were certain things I didn't want her to do after her experiences with Mark and Christopher while we were kidnapped. I guess when I stopped her, like I expected it to, it screwed with her head.

"Are you worried I won't be good enough?"

When I heard her whisper the words out at me, I turned my head to look at her as she lay her head on the pillow next to mine.

"You know that's not why."

All she did was shake her head as she covered herself up with the sheets.

"No, it's because you don't want my mouth after all those men used it." When her eyes met mine I frowned when I saw they were glassy as she glared at me causing the guilt to flood through me, again.

"Dani that's not why, I-"

"Then tell me why. Just say it." When she cut me off, I let out a frustrated breath, taking a second before I responded.

"I don't want to upset you, or trigger your memories just for my pleasure. Sex is different, it's for both of us but this is optional and I'm not letting you do it."

"I'm not broken Carson."

"I'm not saying that. You remember I was the one who held you when you cried after it happened? I was the one who had to see his smug face when he brought you back to our room. I'm not bringing up those memories for you, just so you can pleasure me, I'm not that selfish. If you're not okay with that I don't give a damn."

When I was finally finished, she held my stare for a moment as a long silence filled the room. Eventually she shuffled towards me as her tears finally fell from her eyes down her cheeks. Somehow she didn't even seem bothered that I was losing my mind as she placed her hand on my cheek.

"It happened and it's finished Carson. If I was still scared or upset by it I wouldn't be asking to do it. I want to do it for you."

Her voice came out soft as she spoke to me, clearly trying to calm me down, which obviously didn't work.

"No." When I instantly shook my head, pushing her hand away she only grabbed both of my hands in hers instead.

"Listen to me, Carson you're the only man on this entire planet who I feel safe with. When I'm with you I don't think about the past, and you shouldn't either." As she spoke a soft smile graced her lips which confused the hell out of me.

"Why aren't you upset?"

"I'm crying, can't you tell I'm upset?" Still she smiled as she let go of one my hands to wipe away her tears. "I know but, you're smiling, why are you smiling like that?"

"You assumed I was the one who was traumatised by what happened and I am, don't get me wrong, but I don't think you realise you're the one who came out of it worse."

As she spoke she placed her hand on my cheek again, stroking it softly with her thumb while I just frowned at her. How the hell did she go from being hurt and angry at me to being the one to calm me down?

She really was too good for me.

"That's not true."

"It is, I can tell. The way you brought it up, telling me about his face and how you held me. I guess it makes sense, with Ayden you know what he did but you never saw the effects. With this, you were the one to help me through it - you saw everything."

She didn't even know about the panic attack I had that day when Mark took her.

When she said his name I just shook my head, pulling away from her touch as I sat up, turning to sit at the edge of the bed to take a second to think about what she said. Maybe it was freaking true, I don't know, but I was still sure I didn't want her to do it.

After what she went through, how could I do it again to her? Just for my own selfish desires.

After a few moments, she got out of the bed and came over to me kneeling down between my legs so that she was closer to my height. She wasn't crying anymore, but I felt her cheek was still damp when I reached out to stroke it.

"I didn't mean to upset you Dani."

"I know my baby, you've just never been one to deal with your emotions properly." This time when she gave me an amused smile I couldn't stop my own smile coming through even though I really didn't feel like smiling.

"You're stopping me for no reason Carson. I'm a big girl I can handle it and, if I can't, I'll stop."

And finally I gave in to her.

~ Grey's POV ~

"Apa?" When she looked at me through tired eyes I gave her a smile. "Yes baby?"

As I took Sara out the car seat of my car lifting her up into my arms she tiredly mumbled her sentence to me. "We see mama?"

"Yes baby, I'm taking you to mama right now." Letting out a sigh I closed the car door before I walked to the front door of the now guarded house.

Maria, my ex-girlfriend, for some reason dropped Sara off at my doorstep out of the blue without even telling me and no one could track her down for hours. So I had her house watched while Sara slept in my bed and the moment someone messaged to say she'd come home I put her in the car.

I wanted to keep her with me, of course I did. But I didn't have the means to do that. That house wasn't a place where she could live and it's not like I had any of her things there anyway. She was two years old, she needed her toys, her own bed and space and freedom to play.

When I reached the front door, it didn't take long for Maria to open it, her eyes zeroing on Sara in my arms. Without a word she took her from me, but before she could close the door like she was intending to, I stuck my foot out to stop her.

"We need to talk."

She held my stare for a moment before she eventually stepped back and let me in while she went to put Sara in her bed. Moments later she came back into the dark living room where I was waiting for her.

"What do you want Grey?"

And just like that I felt my anger flare. Of course I didn't raise my voice, only because my princess was sleeping down the hall.

"What do I want? You little bitch you left my daughter on the doorstep on her own. You know what that place is and you did it anyway."

So maybe I shouldn't have called her a bitch.

"I was going to call you but I forgot. You should have just opened the door."

When she shrugged her shoulders stepping away from me I stood there glaring at her until something suddenly caught my eye. Taking a step closer to her I brought my hand moving her hair away from her before I let out a scoff. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going on. We may have had our differences but seriously Maria? You left her like that for a guy?"

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't want her Grey? I never wanted a baby! I don't want to be a mother but you won't take her so I don't let you see her."

So that was her reason? She's kept my daughter away from me for months now because I won't keep her?

After a moment of just standing there giving her an incredulous look, I finally shook my head letting out a scoff. "Your logic is screwed up Maria."

"I don't care, if you won't give me what I want then I'm not giving you what you want. Take her away and you can have her forever otherwise it's never."

"You know I can't look after her on my own and she needs you. You're her mother." Even if she didn't want to be her mother, we made her together. It might have been an accident but she was still our daughter. "I have a boyfriend Grey, I need to put him first. Rhys doesn't want her either. I'm giving you three weeks, either you decide to take her or I'm giving her up."

At times I really freaking hated this woman like when I found out she'd been cheating on me and when she kept Sara away, but I'd never actually wanted to kill her.

Until that moment.

The moment she said his name I gave her a glare. "Rhys? The man you cheated on me with? You're picking him over your own daughter, your own damn blood?"

It's funny how I was with that woman for three and a half years and I thought I knew her.
She may have been my biggest mistake, but she gave me Sara which was the only reason I ever kept her in my life.

"He was better than you ever were." When she spat those words at me, I let out a laugh taking a step towards the door to leave. "I'll take her. Give me a few weeks and we'll be out of your lives."

Most of my family were all dead, the only family I had left was my mother, Carson, Fox and Aviana. I didn't have a girlfriend, or anyone actually. So I had no clue how I was going to be the underboss of the mafia and raise my two year old daughter alone, but I guess I'd have to figure something out.

She deserved better than that and I may not be her mother, but I was sure as hell going to give her the best damn life that I could.

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