The breakup was like an ocean, and she was a helpless sinking ship in the middle of it. It was slowly drowning her with strong currents of realizations and waves of anxiety. Once she finally reached the deepest part, she became one with it. She became a shipwreck that is numb of the cold and empty darkness.

She considered one of those realizations as the biggest mistake she ever made in her life. The breakup made her fully aware that all along, she was doing everything to change herself solely for him. She worked hard to gain confidence for him. 

She practiced day and night, called various dance instructors and producers to improve her craft, just so she could fool herself that she's worthy enough to be with him. She would dress with the same brand of clothes, shoes and accessories as him and had grown to like them as well—because of him.

These were no one's fault but hers, because all of it was her choice. It was her mind that dictated that she should be better for Ahn Ki-Ryeong. It was her mantra for almost three years, and it became the reason why she felt so lost right now.

He's gone. What is she supposed to do next?

She did everything to be the perfect girl for him, but he still fell out of love. Isn't that another proof of how unworthy she is? Even after all the hard work and sacrifices, the person she loves the most in this world still turned a blind eye, and abandoned her when he deemed her unimportant.

"You need to eat, Lilac," she heard Seo-mi try to convince her for the third time. "You haven't eaten anything all day—no, since yesterday! Are you trying to starve yourself to death?"

She slowly sat up as she tried fixing her hair with her fingers, but she knew she still looks like a mess.

"Okay," she finally agreed, causing the eldest to sigh in relief. She can't let the girls worry anymore.

She followed Seo-mi out, and towards the dining area where Rei and Jada are already waiting. The two gave her tight-lipped smiles which she returned with a, hopefully, real-looking one. She sat down beside Rei and the girl instantly put a piece of meat on top of her rice bowl.

"Let's eat!" Jada happily announced.

Lilac ate slowly, ridding her mind of any negative thought just so she could fake her way through the dinner. The three were talking about something funny—she guessed, based on Seo-mi's gestures and Jada's chuckles—but she wasn't able to listen. She was too focused on her meal so in no time, she emptied her bowl.

"You want more, Li? Here, you should—"

"No. I'm full, Jade. Thank you," she immediately interrupted the other, before standing up to pour herself a glass of water on the kitchen counter.

That's when she saw it; a full-length mirror leaning against the kitchen wall.

"Jade is cleaning her room so she put the mirror there for a while," Rei explained, the girl probably caught her staring at the fancy mirror.

But she heard none of it.

Of course, Kio doesn't love you anymore. Why would he still love someone so ugly? Look at yourself Lilac. Look how hideous you are. You had the nerve to still eat? Go on, eat to your heart's content and get fat, so people will stop saying how unhealthy you look. So the media will stop writing those articles saying you have eating disorders, or you chose to starve yourself to fit the standards.

That would be great, right? No, no, no... what if Kio comes back? What if he asks to get back with me again? He won't recognize me if I get fat. No, I should stay this way. I can't eat too much, no... no!

"Lilac!"

Everything happened so suddenly. She ran towards the kitchen sink before vomiting everything she just ate. The pain in her stomach worsened and her throat felt like it was being scratched repeatedly.

She thought she was living the dream, then how come it suddenly became a nightmare?

•.°⏳•°.

The girls are very worried about their youngest. After what happened during dinner, Lilac fortunately fell asleep because of exhaustion. They were left in the living room in silence, still taking everything in.

"This can't go on any further, what if one of the managers find out?," Rei worriedly asked.

"Let's tell Manager Jung," Seo-mi suggested, earning nods of agreement from the others. Manager Jung is their only female manager who has always been by their side, and is one of a few people who chose to protect them above the company's protocols.

"I hate him," Jada's already sharp eyes narrowed even more, "why did we even trust that guy? We were mistaken for letting him be with our Li."

"As long as he's out of Lilac's life and will never come back then everything will be alright. We can take care of her, she doesn't need him," Seo-mi added.

The leader's words surprised Reiko a bit. She remembered how Seo-mi used to be so fond of Kio; she was the most supportive of Lilac's relationship.

There was a moment of silence once again, before it was interrupted by the quick ring of the doorbell.

"Are you expecting someone?," Jada asked.

Seo-mi shook her head while Rei stood up to check. She tapped the touchscreen intercom and in an instant, the small monitor changed and showed who's outside the door.

"What were they thinking?!" she exclaimed under her breath, hurriedly opening the door for the four familiar guys. "What the hell are you all doing here?"

"Can you let us in first?," Minhwan mumbled behind his mask.

"Get in, get in! Hurry!" She pulled Gun who was the closest to her, and opened the door wider.

Gun Pravat, Lilac's fellow Thai idol and childhood friend. The guy luckily got chosen in an audition back in Bangkok, too, but of another entertainment agency. The other three—Hwang Soonho, Enzo Park and Kim Minhwan—are also idols, but are native Koreans. They all became friends due to Lilac and Gun's history, and their similar age.

"Are you all out of your freaking minds?!" Jada finally ran out of her patience as everyone settled in the living room.

"Noona, we're just worried for Lilac. We wanted to visit her," Gun apologetically smiled, even using a Korean honorific to convince the older girl.

"Then come one by one, or by pairs! You all coming here tonight is too risky and you are attracting attention! You love the media so much, huh?"

"Don't worry, we were careful," Enzo smiled, but the pretty face has no effect on Jade.

"I was careful back when I dated someone too, but look what happened," she scoffed.

"Jade stop, they're here already. We can't do anything about it." Seo-mi then turned to the guys, "Lilac is asleep, we don't want to disturb her because this is the longest time she was able to sleep since... the breakup."

"Can I see her? I can just stand by the door..." Soonho almost plead.

Seo-mi turned to Rei and nodded at her.

The latter stood up, "follow me, Soonho."

The others remained in the living room and watched the two leave.

"We're really sorry for coming here without notice," Gun started, "we came from Haneul's apartment first because we heard all of RAVN are staying with him right now. We were able to talk with Kio, but we found out... about what really happened."

Seo-mi's eyes widened before immediately glancing at Jada. It was too late, the girl already heard it and is now frowning confusingly.

"What do you mean by 'what really happened'? What happened?," the latter eventually asked.

The guys' eyes visibly narrowed into slits, remembering what they heard earlier. "I can't believe he did that. I can't believe he's capable of doing that," Minhwan hissed, "the Ki-Ryeong I knew would never do something so fucked up."

"What is it? What has he done?," Jada further insisted.

Gun looked at Seo-mi, "Seom, you didn't tell them?"

Jade turned to their leader, "what are they talking about?"

Seo-mi closed her eyes and sighed, "Kio cheated, Jade. He cheated."

The second eldest stilled, eyes blazing in undeterred fury. "That son of a bitch..."

"Soonho almost punched the living daylights out of him, he's the most affected about what happened," Enzo shook his head. "That's why we really wanted to visit Li. We want to check how she's doing, especially Soonho."

"She didn't know, I also didn't tell her. I thought Kio will but he didn't, as well. Though I think it's better for her not to know yet, her emotional and mental state won't be able to handle it," Seo-mi explained.

"Did something happen?," Minhwan asked worriedly.

"She can't eat," Seo-mi swallowed hard, controlling her emotions. "Her body won't let her. We convinced her to eat earlier but she immediately vomited everything out minutes later. Just imagine what will happen if she finds out..."

Gun took a deep breath, "I don't know if I could even forgive that fucker."

"Then don't," Jada angrily snapped, "that piece of shit doesn't deserve forgiveness."

"Jade," Seo-mi reached out for the girl's clenched hand. "Kio needs his friends too," she turned to their guests, "help him realize what he had done wrong. That's what good friends do, don't give up on him but give him one hell of a hard time."

Minhwan nodded, "he'll regret this for sure. He loved Lilac so much, we don't know what suddenly came to his mind."

"Who's the girl? I don't know anyone who is better than our Li. Once I find out the bitch is some worthless whore, I will make her pay."

"Jade, stop it!"

"What now, Seom?!" Jada faced her best friend, "don't tell me you intend to let them be? After the damage they have done? I will ruin her reputation so bad, she will never be able to rise up again. Is she an idol? Actress?"

"We don't know," Seo-mi pointedly answered, looking at the boys. "I didn't bother to ask."

"We didn't ask as well," Gun followed suit. A white lie won't hurt, they knew what Jada is capable of, with a powerful family backing her.

The infuriated girl scoffed, "I will know, I have ways."

"Auntie called me this morning," Gun changed the subject. "She was asking me why Lilac's phone is always unattended these days. I said she might be busy and... she thought I meant Li's busy with her preparations for their third anniversary."

"Lilac planned to cook Thai food for Kio, and asked for her parents' help. They are probably waiting for her to call," Seo-mi explained.

"That's another problem," Enzo exhaled, "her surprise."

"Tomorrow evening right? Before midnight?," Minhwan recalled.

"We'll try to talk to her about it and help her as well," Seo-mi stood up, "let me get you something to drink, I almost forgot about that."

Minhwan smiled, "it's alright, we're good. Thanks, noona."

"I'll be with her, too," Gun declared with finality. "I know you told me to be with Kio, but I choose to be with my childhood best friend this time. She's like a family to me. I can't even look at that son of a bitch right now."

"We'll handle Kio, don't worry," Enzo smirked. "I'm good at pissing people off, he's gonna regret everything sooner or later."