...what Nicky looks like...

What ze Layne looks like:

*******

He took in the scent of vanilla as he wrapped his arms tighter around her.  He smoothed out the stray blonde hairs that were on her face, planting light kisses along her neck.  A smile creased his face as he watched her roll over onto her back & slowly open her eyes.  She smiled up at him, her emerald gaze beaming into his blue one.

"Morning," she moaned, stretching a bit.

Layne gave her a small kiss on the lips.  "Morning, beautiful..."

Briana grinned at him, slowly sitting herself up from the bed.  Her eyes widened when she looked at the clock.  "It's 2 pm?!"

He laughed.  "I thought you'd like to sleep in since it's your day off," he explained.  He bit his lip, curling up to her again.  "You're really cute when you sleep..."

She laughed, tugging him up with her out of the bed.  "You creeper!" She kidded, eyeing the grin that grew on his face.  "What do you want to do today?  The neighbors really want us to go horse-back riding with them--"

"I'd like to head into town," he interrupted.  He slightly cringed when he saw the concerned look on her face.  "Not what you think..." he muttered, his eyes slanting away from her.

They hadn't been in Seattle since they bumped into one another at CVS.  Briana didn't think it would be the best idea for him to go there during his recovery, considering he had drug connections out there & friends who knew where to score if his dealers were dry.

"What would you want to do in town?" Briana asked, eyeing him with worry.

He smirked, slanting his eyes back at her.  "I don't have any art supplies...  I would really like to draw, it's been a minute, plus I've never seen any of your paintings--"

"There's a reason for that..."

Layne's eyes dropped back down, biting his lip.  "I know, but I thought maybe I could help you out with that...  No one should ever just stop what they love," he pulled her into a hug, kissing her again.  "Please..."

She rolled her eyes, though smiling.  "Fine."

Layne's face lit up like a Christmas tree.  "You'll paint with me?!"

She laughed.  "Yeah, you dork.  Only because you're cute when you beg, though," she smiled at him.  Before slipping into the bathroom, she pulled off her shirt, showing off her perfect perky rack.

He tried to open the bathroom door, grunting when it was locked.  "LADY!  Why do you torture me?!"

She broke down in laughter.  She cracked the door open & slyly pulled him into the bathroom.  She led him into the shower, tugging off his pj bottoms.  They kissed each other hungrily, the warm water soothing them both.

Layne smiled deviously, pulling her up so her legs were straddling his hips.  He moaned when his erection squeezed into her, quickly biting his lip.

"Damn, you're tight," he whispered, nibbling at her ear.

She groaned, brows creased with pleasure as he continued to penetrate her...

*******
*******

"What kind of paint do you like?" Layne asked her, checking her out as she kept her eyes on the road.

Her brow curled in thought as she turned the wheel down the highway. "Just acrylic, why?"

He shrugged. "I've never really been into painting before," he muttered. His hand rested on her thigh, smiling up at her. "You'll have to teach me..."

She smiled, turning on the radio. She cranked up the volume when she heard No Excuses come on.

"Oh, God," Layne winced, changing the channel.

Briana laughed when she glanced over at him, amused that he'd rather listen to classical music. "I like your band!" She exclaimed.

"I fucking hate my voice," he moaned, glaring at her.

She rolled her eyes and changed the station back to the song, turning the volume up even louder.

"Whyyyyy!" Layne whimpered dramatically. He smirked as he watched her laugh.

"I don't get you sometimes," she shouted over the music. "You're famous for your voice! Why do you hate it?!"

"I can hear the imperfections fucking everywhere..."

She gave him a weird look as she turned her jeep into a parallel parking spot. She laughed as she watched him quickly cranked the volume to the radio all the way down & turned it off. "It's a studio recording, how can there be imperfections?!"

Layne rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to argue over this. My voice sucks. End of story."

"You're freaking crazy," she blurted as she followed him into the art shop. A grin smeared across her face as she watched him pull on his sunglasses & a sock hat. "Why do you wear sunglasses inside...?"

"Because thats what all the cool kids are doing."

She laughed. "You're so weird."

He shrugged, gripping her hand as they veered down one of the isles. "You know you like it."

They grabbed a packet of acrylics & some paint brushes.  Layne couldn't help it but to pick up a packet of ink pens & Bristol board paper.  He held up a huge pre-made canvas, scanning her body.  His face burned, staring at her dumbly.  She was just wearing a green t-shirt & jeans, but she looked unbelievably sexy in it.  The shirt made her eyes pop & the shape of her body looked amazing in simple clothing.  The shirt tugged at the roundness of her breasts, seeming to synch in at her waist.

Briana smirked.  "Do you want to tell me something?" She asked, amused by how he was just standing there staring at her.

Layne shook his head quickly, biting his lip.  "This canvas okay...?"

She nodded, laughing at him.

They walked back up to the front & gave their stuff to be scanned through by the cashier.  Layne stopped Briana before she could pull her wallet out of her purse.

"You don't have to pay for anything when you're with me, babe," he whispered into her ear, kissing her on her cheek.

She blushed, playing with her hands as Layne slid his credit card through the machine.  With that, they were done.  Right when Layne was about to toss the art supplies in the back of Briana's jeep, he felt a tug on his shirt.  Thinking it was Briana, he spun around with a sloppy grin spread on his face.

It immediately dropped, his eyes as huge as melons.

She looked cold, huddled up in a huge ugly sweater.  Her turquoise eyes were sunk into her gray gaunt face.  She was obviously high.  He could tell by the way she was carrying herself.  She couldn't stand still, constantly fidgeting with the baggy waist band of her leggings.

"...Nicole Garder, is that you?" Briana asked from the front of the jeep.

She gave Briana a dirty look.  "It's fucking NICKY, retard!"

Briana stood there, eyes wide, sharing a look with Layne.

"Bre...get in the car," Layne ordered, his eyes back on Nicky.

Nicky laughed at him, spinning her emaciated body to fully face Briana.  Her eyes scanned her, as though she was looking for any flaw possible to pounce on.  "So, you're Layne's new squeeze, huh?" she asked.  Her voice was hoarse.  She sounded sick.

Briana continued to stand there, making Layne all the more uneasy.  He turned to Briana, his eyes pleading at her.  "Get in the car, Briana..."

Nicky scoffed as she watched Briana jump into the driver's seat of the vehicle.  She analyzed Layne, how he simply turned back around & set the bags into the vehicle.  When he shut the door, he cringed at Nicky's mocking laugh.

She poked him in the stomach.  "You're fat now, Layne...damn."

Layne rolled his eyes.  He crossed his arms, trying to hold back his tears when he took in her pathetic appearance.  "What do you want, Nicky?"

A shaky skeletal hand lifted up a stale crooked cigarette to her lips, lighting it.  She exhaled the smoke right into his face.  "Is she perfect?"

Layne rubbed his eyes, trying to contain how upset he was.  "What in the world do you mean by that."

She blew more smoke into his face.  "You know what I mean," she croaked.  "Did you finally find the perfect new Demri?"

"I never was looking for a replacement for her, Nicky," Layne muttered, keeping his eyes at his feet.

He jumped when Nicky clenched his cheeks with her bony hand, forcing him to look at her.

"You're a fucking ASSHOLE," she hissed.  "You fucking relapse and then when I try to get you to stop, you leave me?!"  She broke down in tears.  Suddenly her face twisted with rage & smacked him hard across the face.  "Now look at me, you fucking bastard!  Look what you did to me!"

Layne's eyes watered as he analyzed her. She looked like a skeleton, and she was tweaking out of her gourd. Her eyes were way too animated, full of hatred & what seemed like self-pity. It reminded him too much of Demri. A tear rolled down his cheek, turning away from her.

"No, you DICK, fucking LOOK AT ME!" Nicky shouted, grabbing his face again & violently turning it back to her.

He choked back sobs, squeezing his eyes tight.

"You never loved me, did you?!" Nicky continued, her hand squeezing tighter on his face. "Was it all a lie?!"

He turned back away from her, kneeling on the ground and curling up to his knees. Tears streamed down his now beat red face, his body shaking.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME!" Nicky screamed, causing people who were passing by to stare. "It's all your fucking fault. I'm going to die because of you. Just like Demri."

Something Layne had never felt before surged through his body. He jolted up from the ground, his eyes pooling with an unbelievable amount of rage. Nicky took notice immediately & cowered away, her bloodshot eyes wide.

"NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT!" Layne shouted, hands clenched into fists. "I didn't fucking tie Demri down & shoot her up with heroin until she fucking died, SHE DID THAT TO HERSELF! Just like YOU are doing to your fucking SELF! You're a fucking BITCH, Nicky! I thought I loved you. I fucking tried so hard with you. I wanted you to get better! I wanted us to get better together, BUT YOU DROVE ME FUCKING NUTS!"

Nicky burst into tears, her stick arms wrapping tight around herself.

"Mike & my mother were RIGHT ABOUT YOU!" Layne went on, pointing a shaky finger at her. "I was using you as an excuse. Just like you're using your fucking PSYCHO ex and now ME as an excuse! You're fucking SICK, Nicky! I still care about you, but there's nothing I can do. I need to take care of myself!"

Nicky bit her lip, lightly weeping. "I'm sorry..."

Layne shook his head at her. "If you're fucking SORRY, quit this shit! Get fucking sober! Quit fucking blaming others for your own fucking suicide! It's no one's fault but YOURS!"

Nicky tried to grab him, but he slapped her arm away from him. "Layne, I'm sorry! I love you--"

"YOU DO NOT LOVE ME!" He screamed.

She shook her head. "How can you know that?! Do you live in my head?!"

Layne laughed, reaching for the door of the jeep. "I know because I've been in your position many times, Nicky. We didn't love each other. We couldn't. We hated ourselves. All we cared about was our fucking fix."

Nicky tried to run up to him again, but tripped and fell on her knees. She looked up at Layne, shrill cries escaping her.

All he could feel was rage. "Get your fucking SHIT together, Nicky," he growled.

He jumped into the car, not even bothering to look at Briana.  "Drive," he muttered.

"Layne..." She sighed. She tried to reach over to rub his shoulder.

"Fucking DRIVE!" He shouted.

She jumped, turning the key to the ignition & pulling out of the parking space.

Sadness overwhelmed Layne as he watched Nicky still on the ground on the sidewalk, sobbing hysterically. He lit a cigarette & cracked the window.

Concern sketched across Briana's face as she took a quick glance over at Layne. He was crying. "Layne, are you okay?"

He sniffled. He tried his best to contain the misery but it came pouring out. "Did you look at her?" He sobbed. His hand cupped his eyes, embarrassed. "She looked fucking terrible..."

"I know, Layne--"

"Please take me to my friend's house," Layne interrupted.

She immediately pulled over into a McDonald's parking lot. She shot Layne a look. "NO, Layne. I'm not allowing you to do that to yourself--"

"I fucking NEED IT! You don't understand!" Layne shouted. His eyes went wide & his body shook, turning to look at her. "Briana...I fucking need a hit, just one last hit, I need to calm down it's the only thing that works." He suddenly grinned, tilting his head at her. "We could both get high & paint together, it'll be fun--"

"NO!" Briana shouted.

Layne curled up in his own arms. He began to rock, more sobs escaping him. "Please," he whimpered, eyes squeezed shut. "I'm going crazy, Bre. I can't live like this. I'm not MEANT to live like this. If I was, I would've got off the shit a long time ago. I need a hit, babe, just one...just to calm down..."

She squeezed his shoulder, making him look back up at her. "You don't need it, Layne. It doesn't help with anything."

"Yes it fucking does! YOU DONT GET IT!" He shouted, breaking down in more tears.

Briana gave him a look, her eyebrows raised. "I don't get it, huh? I don't understand? Layne, you know very well that I've been in your position. I know exactly what this feels like. I still get the same thoughts from time to time."

Layne gave her a hopeful look. "Then why not get some with me...?"

She bit her lip, tears standing in her eyes. "It's not worth it. It's not worth tossing away your friends, your family, your LIFE for."

"But I only wanna do it one more time," he argued.

"Layne, your brain is playing tricks on you. You CANT just do it once, you've tried that."

He bit his lip. "No I haven't..."

Briana smirked. "I know you have, Layne, you can't play these kind of games with me."

He sighed, hot boxing his cigarette. "How am I supposed to deal with these emotions then?"

She took her jeep out of park, turning back onto the road. "Exactly the way you are now."

Layne whimpered, watching as trees flew by his window. "It's so fucking hard..."

She nodded. "I know. But it's so much easier in the long run to deal with it then to turn back to self destruction."

Layne glared at her. He didn't know what to say to that. All he could feel was relief. He gulped down his nerves. "I'm so lucky to have you..."

She smirked, squeezing his hand.

"Without you, I'd probably be dead," he muttered.

It was quiet the entire drive home. And when they got home, a new sense of pride settled in Layne's chest as he set up the easel. He was laughing, having a great time painting with Briana. And he was sober. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that he actually fought the jonze this time. And he wasn't miserable.

He was having the time of his life.