"So, how do you propose we finish this off?" Howard asked. He was an interesting fellow, the type who may have accidentally drank too many chemicals as a child. But he was sharp in the mind, so he was kept around. Howard and his friend had been involved in a rather meticulous game of chess, and Howard was nearly at his win. He couldn't figure out, however, why his dear friend Gregory was smiling in a rather foul manner. 

"I don't know. You figure something out." This one was Gregory Patrick, a grump of a guy, who somehow still managed to be liked by the majority. The two were out meeting for their weekly coffee discussion of what the world was up to recently, and of course their usual game of chess, as mentioned earlier.

"Ah, come on, Greg! Don't be a stick in the mud."

"A stick? How could I be a stick? That's physically impossible."

"Nevermind. Say, have you seen what's been happening in the newspaper recently?" Howard asked quizzically.

"I make it a point to not get involved with too much news, politics, or religion. I don't like people enough for that." Like previously stated, Gregory could be a grump, especially towards other people. He had good reason though, humans have a tendency to do things first, and think later. They weren't the most brilliant of the living creatures.

"They're predicting another war!" Howard exclaimed. Unlike Gregory, he cared about certain people in the human race. Ironically, that would soon prove to be a very, very bad choice.

"Another one? Bothersome. There have been too many to count recently. What's next, an apocalypse?" Greg retorted, as he was a rather contemptuous person. 

"Shut up! If you jinx this planet-" Howard winced, before Greg cut him off. 

"I'm not doing anything. Besides, it's not as if saying something means I'll be the cause of the entire end of the world."

"I'm sure you won't... but I'm just saying, we've been going downhill fast." Howard shuddered, and pulled his jacket in. If only he was right about nothing happening. 

"Imagine that, a war, a worldwide hurricane, the plague, even! It sounds great." Greg smiled cynically as he took a sip of his coffee. Black coffee, with exactly three pieces of ice was his go-to order. It helped to cool off, just enough. 

"Maybe to you, Sir Cynic, but I would prefer to live." Howard stated indignantly.

"Living is for the dead of heart."

"Wait, doesn't that contradict itself?" Howard asked questioningly.

"Shh. They don't know that." Greg responded sarcastically.

"I'm just saying- Wait. They? They who?" Howard shot him a confused glare.

"You know, I sometimes question your sanity."

"Everyone does." Howard responded with a smug smile. He was, in general, a cheerful person, but had the tendency to be an idiot just as often.

"Why are you smiling? That's not a good thing."

"And that, my friend, is irrelevant to you." Howard seemed proud of himself. He could keep rude comments away from himself by simply choosing not to understand them.

"Meanwhile, the world continues to die... here today, gone tomorrow." Greg smiled, and took another sip.

"This is why we aren't friends."

"You implied we were friends not two sentences ago."

"Irrelevant!"

"Whatever you say." Greg began to get humorously annoyed, and continued, "So, after the world ends, where do you suppose we all end up? Sinners, Saints, will we all be separated? Or shall we all just end up in one glorious mound of dust?" He sounded rather excited about the prospect of dying.

"I don't want to hear any more of your nonsense, Gregory. It frightens me that you can laugh off the looming threat of death."

"The looming threat of death has been a part of my life since birth."

"Once again, you seem to contradict yourself."

"Not so. Of course, it all depends on the context," Greg explained.

"The context?" Howard asked. I suppose one could describe him as an ignorant genius. Intelligent in his field of study, yet so, so stupid when it came to other, non academic matters.

"The context. The end of the world! The so-called apocalypse, as they'd like us to believe. Why, it can only excite a nihilist to a certain extent. After that, he starts to wonder..." Greg trailed off.

"Wonder what, per say?"

"About it. The end, we all die. I'm sure the devil, if there is one, seems jubilant about this prospect."

"I hope not." Howard shuddered again.

"Well, it depends on how many tricks he has up his sleeve." Greg winked, took one last sip of his coffee, and departed with the tip of his tailored hat.

~~~~~

When Greg returned to his house, he first took off his hat and jacket, greeted the cat he kept instead of a wife, and sat down. Unfortunately for him, he didn't plan on sitting below his chair. No, he went down for many miles, farther than you can calculate, even if you are a geological scientist. It was dark, and warm-ish, and some of it was open, and other parts closed off, like a long underground system of red rock tunnels. Greg was confused, as didn't know how he got here, let alone where he was. 

He also had no idea why his rear end seemed to be in flames. 

"Say, it's nice to meet you, sweetcakes. Though I'm not entirely sure how you were able to figure out my little plan so quickly." A dark voice spoke out, with a tone of evil that you couldn't help but trust.

"Who in the world?" Greg jumped and spun around. He came face to face with whom most people would say isn't that great, but Greg just stared him in the face, annoyed. The man had no horns, no tail with a point at the end, no red or black wings. He did, however, have a very small goatee on his chin, leaning slightly left. Goatees, no matter how symmetrical, have always been evil in the sense that they ruin one's face.

"The name's Lucy," The devil winked, "And not exactly who in the world."

"Lucy?"

"Short for Lucifer."

"I see. How on earth did I manage to get here? No offence, but I'm not really into hell and all that. It's kind of hot down here." Lucy looked offended.

"What's wrong with hot? It just makes me the best." He pulled out a pair of sunglasses, and wiped the steam off. Greg looked at him with skepticism.

"What? These are designer," Lucy said with a hint of irritation.

"Well enough, what am I doing down here? If, you know, this is the here I'm thinking of..." Greg trailed. 

"This is only a subdivision, my darling. As to why you're here: It's simple. You called my bet! It's coming! The end of the world is coming! I have started the apocalypse!" Lucy was overjoyed with all of his glee.

"I knew it." Greg grumbled.

"Exactly! You did! And to that, I congratulate you!"

"Thank you?" Greg had no idea as to why Satan himself would be congratulating him, but he wasn't going to question it. 

"Aren't you, you know, disappointed at all? Your life is ending." Lucy, while still gleeful, seemed a little bit downcast that Greg simply accepted his congratulations without some sort of confusion.

"Fine by me. I'm well known as the pessimistic dolt in others peoples' lives."

"But- But don't you want to be a hero? Be special? Save the world?"  While Lucy gave a tempting offer, Greg simply didn't care about the human race, as we spoke about before.

"Why would I save the very thing that scorned upon me? No thank you. I think I'll just sit back, relax, and watch with enjoyment." 

"But you see, if they all looked down on you, and you save them, you'll have approximately eight billion debts owed to you. They'll be forced to love you forever!"

"That's an interesting point you make. Wouldn't it be a shame if it were to, suddenly, dull?" Greg gave his best attempt at a pun, but he was a humourless man, unless you were joking about a sensitive subject, such as racism or death. 

"You know you want that. Respect, admiration, fame." He whispered into Gregory's ear.

"Perhaps..." But Greg wasn't quite convinced yet.

"Oh, come on. Don't you want to challenge yourself? Be a hero! It's all you ever wanted..." Lucy continued his whispers. Gregory, the narcissistic moron he is, was falling for it.

"What's your deal? Why should I attempt to thwart your plans if I don't even know what you're going for?" Greg spoke, finally realizing that he should question the Devil's intentions.

"You shouldn't. But that's what makes it such a tempting deal." Lucy winked once more.

"Alright, I must admit, I'm interested."

"Really?" Lucy looked almost happy. Gregory nodded.

"Hooray! Let me just break out the celebratory drinks here..." Lucy snapped his fingers, and a martini materialized out of nothing. He sipped it, and sighed in gladness.

"Oh, come on. You've seen alcohol before." Lucy spoke, after he saw Gregory's skepticism.

"I have, but it's still not my first choice."

"Anyway. Now that you've decided to join me, we have so much to discuss. Come on!"

And with the snap of his fingers, the Devil and Gregory Patrick disappeared.