My happiness I found that day in the hospital didn’t last long.

As time continued on, my hope began to dwindle.  It wasn’t long before I began to retreat back to my original state.  The regular smiles that were just beginning to sprout were shrinking back to the miniscule ones.  Everyone who’d just begun to stop worry about me were back to shooting me anxious glances, begging me to join them in activities.

There were only a few days before Dannon’s time expired.  The doctors were surprised that he was still here, actually.  So technically I could lose him at any moment, any time.  All I wanted to do was sit in front of Dannon’s hospital bed and wait for him to open his eyes.

But he wasn’t going to.  And the sooner I got that in my head, the better off I was going to be.

“What happened to you?”

I peeked out from the book I’d been attempting to read (in vain), sighing.  Garrett leaned against my bedroom’s doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest.  I shook my head, turning back to my book.  I didn’t need this right now.  I needed to keep my tortured thoughts to myself.  No one needed me getting all sentimental on them when Dannon’s time was running out.

“Brianne, don’t you dare ignore me.”  Garrett glared, shooting across the room and to my bed.  He gripped my face tightly within his hands, trying to figure me out with just his eyes.  “You were happy.  It may have been for a short moment, but you were smiling again.  What happened?”

I internally groaned.  “Come on, Garrett—”

“No.”  Garrett shook his head.  “It kills me to see you like this, Brianne.  And to think that you were getting better and now you’re not—it’s heartbreaking.  What happened?”

I sighed deeply, closing my eyes.  “It’s going to sound so stupid.”

“I assure you it won’t.”

I hesitated before finally deciding to divulge.  I mean what was the point?  Garrett wasn’t going to let it go until I spilled anyway.  “A little while ago when I was in the park,” I began, “I fell asleep.  It’s not exactly an occurrence, you know?  Except, usually I have those dreams where Dannon has a seizure.  Nightmares, you know?”

Garrett nodded.  I sighed shakily, readying myself to continue.  It’s amazing how in such a short time your strength can grow or diminish altogether.

“But that day it wasn’t a nightmare.  Dannon and I were just lying there, talking.  And then he said to me, ‘I may be gone now, but I’ll be back soon.  I’d never leave you, hon.’  And despite everything, despite the guarantee that he’s not coming back, I couldn’t help but feel like he was telling the truth.  That he wasn’t going to leave me and everyone else.  But now he only has days left and he’s not waking up.”

I sniffed, wiping a stray tear from my cheek.  I glanced at Garrett, attempting to smile but failing.  “There, I told you.  Laugh away.”

Instead of laughing, Garrett reached forward and pulled me into his arms.  I hugged him back, crying softly.  This was exactly what I meant when I said that this false hope was only going to leave me heartbroken.  This was why I tried not to allow myself to hope, to think that there was a chance.  Sure, I’d been happier for a little while, but now I was more hurt than ever.  Was that really better?

Was it really?

Garrett and I both looked up as someone began knocking on the door.  I shot Garrett a confused expression, and in return I received a grin.  So he knew who had arrived, had he?  That wasn’t exactly comforting.

“Garrett, who’s at the door?” I demanded, following him down the stairs and toward the front door.  Whoever it was, they were continuing to ring the doorbell over and over again—so much that it was obnoxious.  It definitely wasn’t an adult.  “Did you send Kyla over here to beat me until I’m happy?”

“Not just Kyla.”

Dammit.  He’d called the entire crew, hadn’t he?  “You didn’t.”

Garrett tossed me another grin before pulling open the door.  The crew stood there, all of them in pajamas and holding duffle bags within their arms.  Kyla flew forward and wrapped her arms around me.  I stood there, motionless as she sped-talked, her words so discombobulated that I wasn’t even sure if she was speaking English.  Everyone else tossed me polite smiles, not really knowing what to do since they were stuck in my doorway.

When I couldn’t deal with my personal space being invaded any longer, I pulled away.  “What are you all doing here?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

“We’re here to keep you company!” Shelley called, lifting her sleeping bag up for emphasis.  “Your brother called and said that we were needed.  So, here we are.”

I mentally noted the fact that I was going to murder Garrett later and sighed.  “Well, what do you suppose we should do then?”

The crew laughed, piling in and tossing their bags onto the floor.  In the back of my mind I wondered if my mom and dad had any idea that all these people were sleeping over tonight.  Probably not.  Oh well, Garrett was the one who would be in trouble, not me.  And, Garrett probably wasn’t going to get into trouble anyway.  Since his motive was to make me happy they would probably understand.

“We’re going to do whatever it takes to distract you.”  Shelley’s eyebrows rose.  “Duh.”

Did she seriously just “duh” me?  Whatever, man.  “And what exactly is that?”

Shelley smiled.  “Well, first off, I think we should try out that wonderful trampoline in the backyard.”  She wriggled her eyebrows.  “You think?”

Before I could stop it, the memory of my first time on the trampoline flashed.  Dannon and Garrett bouncing close to me as I sprawled out, letting them.  It had been so fun.  Back when everything was perfect.

“Yeah,” I said softly without thinking.  It wasn’t like I could run from the memories.  Everything had one.  “That’s fine I guess.”

Meghan and Shelley squealed, immediately running for the door.  Everyone quickly followed.  Garrett draped an arm over my shoulder, apparently thinking that it was going to lighten my soured mood.  Too bad.  “You didn’t need to call them,” I muttered with a scowl.  “I’m satisfied wallowing in self-pity.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not so you’re going to deal with your friends for the night.  I’ll take you to see Dannon in the morning, okay?  I promise.”

My scowl deepened.  “Early in the morning.”

It was Garrett’s turn to scowl now.  “How early?”

“Seven-thirty.”  I crossed my arms over my chest.  “You’re taking my time away from him tonight.  I get all day tomorrow.”

Garrett shot me a pointed look.  “Brianne—”

“Don’t give me that ‘You shouldn’t spend so much time in the hospital,’ crap.  Dannon is running out of time, Garrett.  I don’t want to spend it here when I could be there with him.”

Garrett sighed in defeat and nodded.  “Fine.”

We ventured outside and into the backyard.  The crew was already on the trampoline, jumping and shrieking in glee.  Odd how amused teenagers could get just by jumping up and down over and over again.  What a strange world we lived in.

“Let’s go!” Garrett hollered, detaching himself from me and bolting to the trampoline.  He hopped up and down along with my friends, whooping like the idiot he was.

Sighing deeply, I hopped onto the trampoline and began jumping lightly.  I wasn’t really in the mood to hop up and down, but if that’s what my friends wanted to do, fine.  I wasn’t going to make them miserable just because I was.  That would be cruel.

“Let’s play popcorn!” Garner cried out suddenly.

“Fine, as long as you’re the popper,” said Shelley, falling dramatically onto the trampoline and wrapping her arms around her legs.  “Come on, everyone!”

I fell onto the trampoline along with everyone else, wrapping my arms around my legs.  Garner almost immediately began jumping violently, sending us all crashing against one another.  I shrieked as I banged into Shelley, pain sprouting up my arm.  Who in the name of hell thought this game was fun?

Meghan lost first and began helping Garner pop us all.  Then Paula gave up next.  And then Oliver.  Kyla, Shelley, Garrett, and I all held on tight for a long time, not wanting to be the loser.

I, of course, followed the losing team well before my fellow contestants.  Because, you know, there wasn’t a single game that I could be good at.

I groaned, jumping along with my fellow losers, attempting to get the stubborn ones to give up.  However, the most stubborn people of all—excluding me, of course, for we all knew that I was the stubborn-est of them all—refused to give in.  If I were allowed to kick their arms open, then I definitely would.  This was why I hated this game.  It lasted forever.

“Argh!” Shelley hollered suddenly, letting her arms fall.  “My hands slipped!”

“Ah, you poor thing,” Garner teased, pulling Shelley up.  She slapped him playfully.  Garner shot her a playful scowl in return.  “I help you up and this is how you treat me?  How rude!”

I wasn’t sure how long it took the game to end, but it felt like forever.  When Kyla finally let her arms fall, I stopped jumping immediately, ready to collapse from exhaustion.  Did the two of them have to have so much upper-body strength?  I mean, let the weaklings have a break every once and a while!

“Okay, I’m tired,” Meghan whined, clutching her side.  “Can we go inside now?”

“Yes,” I said before anyone could tell her otherwise.  I wanted to go inside so bad.  “Let’s go watch a movie or something.”

Everyone nodded in agreement.  Shelley grinned, jumping off the trampoline and shoving her feet into her shoes.  “All right, you choose!”

| It ♥ All ♥ Started ♥ With ♥ An ♥ Apple |

“Dannon Barone!”

I slammed the door behind me, stomping into Dannon’s house.  I was pissed.  Really pissed.  I mean, he’d all but disappeared for the past week.  Not a text, not a phone call.  He didn’t come to school, didn’t stop by to reassure that he was all right.

“Dannon, your car is in the driveway so don’t pretend you’re not here!”

I came to stand in the living room.  My eyes narrowed as they landed on Dannon’s motionless figure on the couch.  I finally got the guts to come to his house and demand to know where he’d been all the time, and he was sleeping? 

After a moment of fuming, my expression softened.  “Dannon?” I murmured softly, making my way toward him.  I knelt before him, bringing a hand to his cheek.  “Dannon?”

Dannon’s eyes didn’t open.  And why would they?  He was such a deep sleeper.  Especially now.  There was no way to wake him up until he was ready to awaken.  That was simply the way it went.

I sat down in front of the couch, letting my head fall back.  I stared at the ceiling blankly for a long time.  I decided that I would wait for Dannon to wake up, despite the pointlessness of the action.  He wasn’t going to wake up until he wanted to.  It could be days.

“Brianne?”

I turned, surprised to hear Dannon’s voice so soon.  How long had he been asleep?  Was that where he was all week?  Sleeping?  “Dannon?” I breathed.

He smiled.  “In the flesh.”

I smiled brightly, bringing my hands to his cheeks.  “You had me worried sick!”

Dannon held my hands to his face, smiling contently with closed eyes.  “I’m sorry,” he murmured, reopening them.  “I’m back now.”

“Don’t you dare leave me again.”

Dannon closed the distance between us, pressing his lips against mine.  I instantly kissed back, our lips moving in sweet synchronization.  “I wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispered against my lips.

I woke with a start, slapping my hand to my lips.  I could still feel Dannon’s there, pressing softly against my own.  I closed my eyes tightly, willing tears not to fall.  I missed kissing him so damn much.  And his kiss felt so real in the dream.

“Holy shit,” I whispered.

The dream hadn’t consisted of any tears at all.  Dannon had woken up.  He’d been fine.  Sure he’d been sleeping on the couch, but it was obvious that there were parallels to my current situation.  That was typical, wasn’t it?

I looked around the room, at all my sleeping friends.  We’d crashed on the living room floor.  Garrett, like usual, had called the couch.  Little crapper.  Either way, it hadn’t taken me long to fall asleep.  It wasn’t late when we started watching movies, but lying on the floor with my head on a pillow always made me sleepy.  So I was guessing that I fell asleep before supper was even thought of.

As quietly as I could, I threw off my sleeping bag and tiptoed into the kitchen.  One glance at the clock told me that it was four-thirty in the morning.  Damn.  I’d never really woken up this early whilst being wide awake.  So what was I supposed to do while everyone else slept?

Without even really thinking I tiptoed toward the front door, slipping on my shoes.  Conscious of the fact that there were about half a dozen people sleeping nearby, I pulled the front door open and stepped outside.

And then I began walking.

Where I was going I had no idea.  I kept a steady pace, my feet padding against the pavement as I headed down the street.  Everything was freakishly motionless and shadowed.  The sun was barely starting to make its way across the sky.  I’d never been outside so early before.  Despite the usual stereotypes of the outside whilst in darkness, this was kind of peaceful.

I sighed deeply, turning onto a street at random.  I really hoped that I had my cell phone.  Knowing me I was going to get lost—especially since my mind wasn’t coordinating with my feet.  I was probably going to end up God knows where, in desperate need of a ride.  And then Garrett was probably going to yell at me for worrying him to death.  And who could blame him?  I’d walked out of the house without leaving a note or anything.

Suddenly I felt terrible.  Why hadn’t I thought of doing that—leaving a note?  Well, I hadn’t really thought of anything before leaving the house.  Why did I leave the house anyway?  The thought hadn’t crossed my mind and yet I’d left.  I’m going insane, I thought dully.  No, I have gone insane.

An hour or so later I was padding up the hospital’s steps, pushing the door open.   I made my way down the hall, my shoes echoing on the floor.  Everything was recognizable.  It was like I’d come to a second home.  I recognized the paintings on the walls, the secretary at the front desk who I waved to politely every time I entered the building.  I recognized everything.  Everything.

As I made my way toward the elevators, a vibrating in my butt pocket made me jump.  I scowled, fishing my phone out and bringing it to my ear.  “Hello?” I murmured softly, glancing around to make sure that no one was disturbed.  I didn’t know why but I always felt so loud here.

“Brianne,” Garrett breathed.  “Where the hell are you?”

I sighed deeply.  What was he doing up at this hour?  Wasn’t it only, like, five-thirty in the morning?  “I’m at the hospital.”

Garrett sounded confused when he replied.  “You actually drove to the hospital?”

I mentally shook my head, almost forgetting that he wasn’t there with me.  I reached the elevators and pressed the button signifying that I was going up.  Then I stepped back, waiting for one of the doors to open.  “No,” I murmured, looking around again.  “I walked.”

“You walked all the way to the hospital?” Garrett demanded incredulously.

“Yeah.”  I stepped into the now-open elevator, pressing the button of Dannon’s floor and leaning back against the wall.  “I wasn’t really thinking about where I was going.  I just ended up here.”

“Why’d you even leave the house?  I was going to take you.”

“I know.”  I paused.  “I don’t know why I left the house.  I haven’t really been thinking about what I’m doing.  It’s like my brain’s not here today.”

Garrett didn’t answer for a moment.  I waited patiently for him to respond, not wanting to rush him.  He was probably exhausted, and the adrenaline from his missing sister was probably draining away.  “Just . . . don’t do anything overly stupid, okay?”

I smiled a small smile.  “Okay.  Can you pick me up later?”

“What time?”

“I’ll let you know.”

Garrett and I said our goodbyes as I reached Dannon’s door.  I paused for a moment, my hand hovering over the door handle.  The hesitation didn’t last long.  Soon enough I was opening the door and stepping inside, closing the door softly beside me.  I turned on the light, sighing.  It was rather upsetting to think about how Dannon wouldn’t blink in shock at the sudden light.  I shook off the feeling, plopping into the visitor chair.

“Why?” I whispered, staring blankly at Dannon.  “Why do my dreams keep saying that you’re going to wake up when it’s so damn obvious that you’re not?”

Silence was Dannon’s reply.  I leaned forward, catching one of his hands within my own.  I clutched it tightly, closing my eyes and letting a few tears escape.  “I miss you,” I croaked out.  “I miss you so much.”

I sat there like that for a long time, crying.  I mine as well get them out now before Garrett picked me up.  I couldn’t cry at home, not anymore.  The pitiful looks were becoming too much to bear.  Sure, they try to help, but I could see beyond their hugs and kisses.  They felt pity for me.  Except for maybe Garrett.  Garrett never gave me a pitiful look, not once.  But my mom?  My dad?  It seemed to be all they gave.

“You said you would be back,” I wept.  “You promised.”

I mumbled that over and over again as I cried.  I felt like a promise had been broken.  A promise that I needed to be fulfilled.  I couldn’t live without him.  It was hard to believe that just a little while ago I hated the guy’s guts.  But now?  Now I couldn’t stand the prospect of going on without seeing his smile.  I needed it.  I lived off it.

“Please,” I whispered.

It was silent.  I sniffed, setting his hand gingerly back onto the bed before leaning back in my chair.  I wiped my eyes, shaking my head.  No.  I couldn’t keep crying like this.  I needed to be strong like Dannon had always been.  Otherwise I was going to be lost, like Tom said.

I stood up, reaching to grab my phone from its spot in my butt pocket.  I needed to get out of here and back to my friends.  Otherwise I was going to get depressed beyond imagining.  And I really didn’t want to go through that. 

From the corner of my eye I saw movement.

I froze, my eyes immediately shooting to Dannon’s bed.  Everything seemed normal: Dannon motionless besides his steady breathing.  I stared, hard, willing for whatever motion my mind had conjured to occur again, just to prove that I wasn’t as crazy as I thought I was.

After a few long moments I rolled my eyes, ready to turn around again.  Nothing had moved.  It was all in my head.  Some stupid shriveled hope that Dannon was still there.

Then it happened again: that small movement in the corner of my eye.

I whipped around, my eyes trained on Dannon’s bed.  Something had moved.  I was sure of it.  Staring even harder now, I lowered myself back into the visitor’s chair.

And that’s when it happened.

Dannon’s hand twitched.  It was a small twitch at first, but then the twitching became fingers curling back and forth.  I watched with wide, shocked eyes as his land lifted up to his head, his fingers moving through his hair.  I gaped as the hand lowered and his eyes fluttered open.

Dannon turned to me, his beautiful blue eyes piercing mine.  And then he did something that I feared I would never hear him do again.  He spoke.

“Brianne?”