Dedicated to my sister, sparkyintheforest, the dancer; and my brothers Alfie, the kayaker, and Brendan, the canoeist; and my sibling George. Also a special shout out to Bruce, Mo and Skye; the real Mo, Saska and Nova.

His feet flew through the air, twisting and turning like a flock of birds. Outside, the sounds of traffic could be heard. Sirens and tourists. But inside the studio, those sounds were a mere whisper. His entire world revolved around the music. It danced around him, through him. Dancing away his sorrow, his fears and anger. He didn't need to think. He danced with it. Dancing for his freedom.

The Muskokan lake was near empty in the morning light, the only other visible boat was one travelling from an island cottage to the shore. Of course, Mo broke the silence with a single, loud, bark, which reverberated around the whole lake. I shook my hair out of my eyes, and grinned at the big dog.

A splash told me that Saska had jumped out, and was now paddling alongside the canoe, her black fur glistening with water droplets. Nova tried to follow, forgetting that she had the other end of her lead attached to the portage bar.

I smiled, and coaxed her into sitting down again.

In the brief time that I had been out on the lake, it had become a hive of activity, with boats going around and across the wide expanse of Butterfly lake. Year-rounders, summer visitors and tourists alike had ventured onto the water, although the former used it more as a way of travel than enjoyment.

Tourists. Shit. River and Beck were coming to stay, and I'd completely forgotten. They were Di's nephews, and I'd never met them before. It was a bit nerve wracking.

I looked at my watch, and realized that I had half an hour before they were supposed to arrive. I slowly steered the craft back towards the dock, where I moored the canoe. Mo and Saska jumped out, and again, Nova tried to follow. Smiling, I untied her lead, but held it firmly.

I sat on the dock, and threw sticks into the water for Saska and Mo. Nova barked loudly. She was our newest dog, from the rescue centre, we'd only had her for a couple of days, and she couldn't yet swim. Suddenly getting an idea, I walked back to the shore, and spent the next hour getting soaked in the process of convincing Nova to go into the water.

Checking the time, I realized that River and Beck must have already arrived.

Whistling to the dogs, I hurried up the wooden steps away from the dock and shore; and over the road, which was deserted like normal. I crossed it, my bare feet leaving wet footprints which quickly dried on the hot surface. The dogs bounded up the hillside, and I followed, walking up the steep steps to the house.

I slipped in the back door, hurrying up the back stairs when I heard unknown voices. "Diana..." came a woman's voice. Di came into sight as I rounded the corner. She had hugged the woman- her sister, I gathered from what I had been told- but looked uncomfortable doing so.

"Emily, this is John, and Phil." Di said, motioning to my dad, and the other man standing there. "And of course, JJ." I nodded at Di's sister, and the two teenagers standing awkwardly beside her. They were in jeans and shirts, vastly different to me- a damp t-shirt and shorts, surrounded by dripping dogs. They were both cleanshaven- a fact that reminded me I hadn't picked up a razor in about 2 days. Compared with their spotless, pressed tidiness, I was a mess. The younger, slightly shorter one was about my height, a bit paler than me, and had dark hair with a reasonably floppy fringe. The older one, who was my age, was taller than me, and had shorter hair than his brother. His fringe was gelled, and his jawline was sharper, but other than that they looked nearly identical. If I had been interested, I would have gone so far as calling them downright hot.

"Wonderful." Emily said, after a pause, motioning to her sons. "River, and Beck."

The younger one flinched, causing the older one -River- to turn round. A silent conversation appeared to take place. "Anyway," Emily said, "I've got to get back, I've got a meeting in Toronto before my flight."

"Really?" Di asked. "You can stay longer, it would be no problem." Even I, though, could tell that she wasn't trying very hard. Di had warned me beforehand that she and her sister led very different lives. The smart business woman had very little time for her sons, even after moving them from Ottawa to Quebec, and could not grasp the point of our somewhat tough lives up in Muskoka- surrounded by mosquitoes, wood chippings, lakes, and little civilization. For us, though, it was perfect, and we wouldnt have swapped it for the sidewalks and high-rises of a city for anything. Also, we'd become practically immune to mosquitoes.

After their mother had left, I showed Beck and River to their room. I left them there, intending to go back down to the dock, but I was stopped. "Take them out with you, JJ." Phil said from the kitchen. Nova -who had been let off her lead- was winding herself around his legs.

I sighed, but walked back upstairs, Saska at me heels. "Hey. You guys finished unpacking? Good. What would you say to going out on the water? I've got a new kayak I need to test, and I forgot to get something from the store which is a ten-minute paddle away...?" Fuck, what am I saying, that isn't going to convince them, that isn't even a proper offer.

River looked up from his phone. "Sure. You'd be up for that.... wouldn't you, Beck?"

Beck sighed, but nodded.

"Do you have any clothes more... Suitable?" I asked, looking at their jeans and collared shirts. Completely unsuitable for water sports.

"Of course." River said - he seemed to do most of the talking for the two of them. "Give us 5 or so minutes."

Once they were ready, we all walked down the hill to the shore. Conversation was sparse, after all, I didn't know these kids, they weren't even my cousins or anything. We had nothing in common.

Fortunately, Beck broke the silence. "You look a bit like a young Heath Ledger, like he looked in Brokeback Mountain, you know?"

"Well, that's a new one," I said, hiding my confusion at the surprising outburst with a smile. "I'm usually told that I look like a typical water boy."

"And what does a typical water boy look like?" River asked, as we walked along the shore to the dock.

"Dunno, like me, I guess," I said, much to his amusement, stopping by our boat rack. "Anyway, try these on." I threw PFDs at them both, and then handed them canoe paddles.

We set out onto the lake towards the store, which was in Glen Orchard, across the lake. I had Saska sitting between my legs in the kayak cockpit. The canoe that Beck and River were using was one that Dad and I had made a few years back, and it didn't take them long to capsize it.

Fortunately, it appeared that they could swim, and Beck was even laughing. Saska barked twice, and I quickly shushed her. It didn't take too long for me to help them and the boat up onto the shore, and empty out the canoe over my kayak.

"You willing to carry on, or do you want to go back in?" I asked.

Beck grinned, and with a mischievous glance at River, asked "Carry on?" River nodded.

The rest of the way, they were happily bickering about whose fault it had been. It was almost as if, by having an involuntary dunking in the lake, whatever barriers they had put around themselves had been washed away.

We picked up some paints, and some ice cream, and sat by the edge of the lake, watching Saska play in the surf.

"You were at the back, it was your job to balance the boat!"

River looked annoyed at that. "But if you hadn't suddenly paddled on the other side, Becca, which shifted your weight..." he drifted off, turning to Beck suddenly. They had another silent conversation.

"Fuck it." Beck muttered, before turning to me. "JJ, call me Becca until I say otherwise, okay?" I nodded. "She/ her until I say otherwise." Becca said, before turning to River. "See? Not that bad. Told you you didn't have to worry. I'm free to be me, here."

"Hmm." River mused, finishing his ice cream, and lying back on the grass, sighing. "Tell us about yourself, JJ."

"Umm," I started, running a hand through my hair. "I'm 17, have been canoeing since I could hold a paddle, am looking at going into architecture," I turned to Becca. "Demi as fuck." I added.

"Yay, one of us!" She smiled. "I'm genderfluid, and were both bi." River nudged her. "What was that for?" She asked him, "He's not going to bully you, you idiot. He's basically bared his soul to you already."

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that." I smiled. "But of course, I wouldn't bully you. Only friendly teasing here, thanks."

"Hmm." River muttered.

"So.., what do you guys do, in Quebec?" I asked, trying to break the silence.

"The question's more 'What do you not do?' There's so much. Personally, I tend to go out to the cinema or something with friends during my free time. Sometimes I'm down in the nearest dance studio, where River here spends most of his time. My question is, what do you do out here?"

"Hockey in the winter, paddling in the summer. I sometimes help out at the local activity centre. We do a lot of our construction work in the summer as well. We do the work on the islands in the winter though- we can take the stuff across on the ice, you see. You have to be mainly outdoors-y. Not very many cinemas, but there might be a dance studio at the middle school in Bracebridge, or maybe in Gravenhurst." I said, thoughtfully.

"Hmm." River said, again. "That doesn't matter. So long as I stay in shape, I can do without a studio. It's not like I've got anything to practice for."

"Don't you dare think like that, Riv." Becca said, poking him with her foot. "You'll get into the competition."

"Yeah, but if I do," River rolled over to face her, and changed to Quebecois, "Getting there?"

"Toronto." She said. "Come on, River. It's not that far. In some ways you should be glad we were sent down here, we're much closer to Toronto than we are at home."

"Whatever!" River said suddenly, in English, springing up. "I want to get back in that lake!"

"On the lake, River." Becca said, holding back her laughter.

Phil was drawing in his office when we got back, Nova at his feet. He looked up as we traipsed though. "I didn't break them!" I said, as a reply to his raised eyebrow.

He laughed. "I know you didn't, Jay. What do you think of my new picture?"

I looked over his shoulder. "Not bad. I got those paints for you." I said, handing them to him. "Where's Dad?" I asked.

"Him and Di are at a construction site by Rosseau. And I know that your next question is going to be 'what's for dinner'- we're going for fish and chips. So, you boys better get your shoes on, because were leaving in minus 10 minutes." Becca flinched, but we all nodded. Fish and chips in Windermere. That meant that they were finishing off the house that they were working on. It had been a tradition for as long as I could remember, since before I was sitting on the bottom of the ladder reading, acting as a weight whilst Dad worked up the ladder. Every time they finished a job, we would have fish and chips.

We all piled into Phil's truck, dogs and all. I rode shotgun with Nova by my feet, and Mo and Saska lay in the back. We drove up to Windermere, parking outside the same place we had gone to for years. Inside were Di, Dad, and their colleagues. I noticed Becca shuffle a bit behind River, but even she was soon laughing along with the rest of us.

"JJ!" One of the younger men, Kai, grinned at me, and handed me his beer.

"Junior, if you drink that you're going home!" Dad said over the hubbub. "Kaiden, I'll pretend I never saw that."

Kai nodded, and winked at me. "Still doesn't approve of underage drinking." He muttered to me, finishing the drink himself.

I nodded. "Why did I get more of a telling off than you?" I complained.

"Well, you know John." Kai joked. "He prefers us construction boys to his son."

I nudged him, and he retaliated gently. We both knew that, even with my practice portaging boats, he could take me down with a mere flick if he wanted to.

"Now, why don't you introduce me to your mysterious friends? The dashingly athletic boy and that utterly beautiful girl?" Kai suggested.

"Kai! They're too young for you, you tricycle."

"I know. I was joking. Still want to get to know them though." Kai said.

Becca was staring at him in shock. "How did you know?:

"I'm a mind reader, darling." Kai winked. "No, actually, lucky guess. I'm Kai before you ask, as you probably worked out from JJ shouting at me a second ago. Not the first time he's shouted my name." He joked.

"So, are you two, together?" River asked.

"No." I said firmly. "He's like a cringy older brother. He flirts with everyone, don't worry."

"So, pan?" Becca asked, smiling.

"No, tri. But even if I'm not interested, it's fun to just flirt with everyone. Who knows what might happen. Plus, who can resist my part Turkish charm?"

"Um, a lot of people?" I suggested. Kai finished his drink, and stole some of my fries. "Hey!" I complained. Kai just shrugged in response, still grinning at River and Becca.

"I like this one. You know your stuff- I think. What's your name?" he asked Becca.

"Becca. Currently. This is my brother River."

"Ah okay." Kai smiled. He stole some more of my fries, but I didn't complain. I only jabbed him in the ribs. "Jay," he said lazily, a twinkle in his eye, "You should have paid more attention in your fighting lessons."

"Whatever," I muttered.

The next morning, I heard a scream coming from the room below mine, and then two pairs of footsteps racing to the bottom of the ladder that was the entrance to my attic room. River was the first up the ladder, laptop in hand, with Becca right behind him. "Jay! I got in! I'm still in the competition!" he panted, grinning.

"Of course you are - I told you so." Becca smiled. "Why are you so surprised?" River shrugged.

He then explained the process for that particular competition to me. "You audition, and if you're good enough, then you compete - using your audition piece. Then, if you come in the top five, you go into the next level of competition - where the top 5 of other local competitions may also be competing. And so on. At least I have my routine for the competition sorted. I have a week to practice and get better at it, then there's the competition." his face suddenly fell. "How are we going to get there, Beck?"

Beck looked surprised. "How could you tell I'd changed? Actually, I don't care. We're just going to have to ask Di or one of the others." he turned to me. "JJ, who's dating whom? If at all? Just so we know."

I shrugged. "Does it matter? Not even I know. Not really. Dad doesn't say. Anyway, you forgot. I can take you down to Toronto - it is Toronto, right? I'll take Dad's truck. Or Phil's. They're usually okay with it. Accommodation may be difficult though."

"Oh, I know people." River said, off-handedly. "It's so annoying though, I'm seventeen -same as you- but Mom doesn't trust me driving."

"Yeah, I wonder why." Beck muttered, sarcastically. "Anyway, we live in the middle of a city, it's not like there's much need."

"Always the voice of reason, is Beck." River said, solemnly.

"Shut up!" Beck complained. He nudged River, hard, in the ribs. River retaliated, and soon there was a full-blown fight going on.

It was amusing to watch, especially when River was beaten by his younger brother.

River disappeared not long after to go practice his dance downstairs, as there was the largest floorspace there. When Beck and I wandered downstairs, though, River wasn't dancing. He was standing, frozen mid motion, whilst Phil sketched. I glanced at the drawing over his shoulder, at the lines of movement, the light surrounding River. "Alright, I'm done with him, you kids go and enjoy yourselves." Phil said, picking up a paintbrush and some watercolours. "You can have it once I'm finished, River." he grinned as he got to work.

"Well that was pretty cool." River muttered.

As we walked along the road, River danced in the middle of it. When we took the dogs down to the edge of the lake, and I got Nova to swim again, River danced on the dock. "You guys wanna paddle one of the bigger lakes before we go to Toronto?" I asked, whilst we were sitting at the end of the dock with our feet in the water.

"Sure, which one do you have in mind?" Becca asked, as she threw a couple of sticks for Mo and Saska.

"Lake Rosseau. If we park north-west of Port Carling, then we'll have a pretty large bit of lake to play on."

"Sounds good." River said, as Becca slipped into the water after the dogs.

It didn't take long to load Saska and three sea kayaks onto Phil's truck, and to drive down the road that would take us to the large expanse of Lake Rosseau. There were more cottages lining the shores, and more tourists as well, but it meant that there were plenty of public access points on the lake. Unfortunately, it also meant that during the summer months the lake was churned up so much it was almost the colour of weak coffee. But that would go with the summer visitors at the end of vacation.

We messed around a lot, exploring little islands and the shore, capsizing just to cool off. Suddenly, I felt water splash the back of my neck. Turning, I could see River, with his paddle in the air, still dripping. I spun my kayak around as fast as I could, splashing him as I did so. Laughing, he retaliated, and so did Becca. They had ganged up on me. Still, though, this was my area of expertise, not theirs. They were unaware of how to use the paddle to its full potential to splash someone. "Alright, alright, 'm sorry! Jay! Stop!" River shouted, after a few minutes of having lake water rain down on him. We paddled back to the shore, laughing, and loaded up the truck, before sitting on the rocks to dry off in the sunlight, throwing sticks for Saska.

Once we got back, Phil was painting. He had finished his first sketch of River, and he was painting a lakeside scene, with a figure dancing on a dock.
"You've found a muse." I muttered, looking at the painting, then out of the window at the shoreline, and dock, and then back at the painting.

"Yeah." Phil muttered, leaning back to look at his work. "What do you think?"

"It's good." I said.

"Wow. You must think that it's something special." he said. "Hadn't you better go pack?"

It had been decided that we would go down to Toronto the next day, and, of course, I hadn't yet started to pack.

"You know me too well." I laughed, walking upstairs with three slightly damp dogs at my heels.

"Well, after 15 years that's pretty good!" he called after me. Mo barked in agreement. I couldn't help but smile.

***

"So," I started, once I'd navigated the small district roads, and we were travelling down the highway, "Who are these folks we're staying with?

Becca leant forward, an elbow resting on each of our seats. "Two sisters. They occasionally danced with River. They'll be happy to know you've gotten this far, Riv."

"Shut it." River muttered.

"He's been downplaying his dancing all this time, but this competition is a bit higher up in the series than he's made out." Becca explained.

"You two are literally living a bad anime." I muttered. "So, do they have a dog?" Becca shook her head. "Well, great. No, don't roll your eyes at me, Becca. River has his dancing, you have your socializing, your community, etc. I have my paddling and my dogs. The longest I've been without a dog was a week when I was 13, and Dad and I stayed in a pet free apartment in New York. Hell, we even took Saska on our road trip to BC last year. Honestly, the things I do for you both. Also, look out of your window- that's Georgian Bay out there. Truly great place to canoe. Maybe I'll take you out some time."

"I don't think that'll be possible." River spoke up. "Our Dad's getting custody. And he's moving out to Surrey."

"Surrey near Vancouver? Could be worse, I guess."

"No. Surrey in England." River muttered.

"Where the fuck?" I asked.

"Some stupid place called Stoneleigh. It's only redeeming factor is that it's right outside London."

"Great, so I have English cousins. Something I never expected." I said.

"Well," Becca said, "Technically..."

"Yeah, yeah, not cousins. Whatever. So, River, is this your last competition then?"

"Yeah." He replied quietly, before reaching over and turning the stereo on. The conversation was obviously over.

We stopped in Barrie to get Timbits and coffee, and River had a competition with himself to see how many Timbits he could fit in his mouth.

"Getting some practice, I see?" Becca said, nodding at his actions.

"Why are you talking about yourself, Becca?"

"Definitely," Becca laughed, "You know me." They both started laughing, and River almost choked on his food. We must have been an amusing scene, three laughing kids sitting on the hood of a mud-covered pickup in the lot of the plaza, drinking Tims like the overly typical Canadians we tried not to be.

The rest of the journey was quick, speeding down the 400 into Toronto. The sisters we were staying with lived with their parents and older brother, all three of whom were away, in mid-north Toronto. Cali was 18, and an old friend of River's. Eva was the same age as Becca, two years younger than her sister. One glance into their brother's room told me that he was a hard core lacrosse fan; and Cali had obviously done some dancing, but over all the family didn't appear to be overly sporty.

"Beck, want to go downtown?" I said suddenly, after introductions were finished, and we'd unpacked.

"Yes, um, how... Never mind."

Beck chucked me River's skateboard, and we left River to his friends. The evening traffic in Toronto was near non-existent, and we sped down the middle of deserted avenues.

"It's his last one before we move, I hope he wins." Beck said, leveling with me as we skated down Robert Street. I hmmed in agreement. "It's the final one in the series." Beck continued. He suddenly flipped his board up and handed it to me before slipping into a shop. I followed him.

"You wanna get pizza as dinner?" Beck suggested suddenly. I nodded in reply, and sent a quick text to River saying we wouldn't be back for dinner.

We stayed out wandering until about 11, and the jumped onto the streetcar to go back up Spadina. That too was almost deserted, so Beck taught me some skateboard tricks as we went.

***

I woke up, and automatically looked at my watch. The luminescent disk told me it was a little past four in the morning. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I stood up, and went to the window.

"You awake too?" came Beck's voice. He was sitting on his bunk, looking at me. Careful not to disturb River, who had the bunk below him, he climbed down and sat on my bed.

"Not used to the light, I guess." I whispered, leaning against the window to look at him.

"You don't need to whisper, River sleeps through everything." Beck looked down. "I've been meaning to say, thanks for- you know- not hating me. About the gender thing."

"Any time." I smiled again.

"How did you know, this afternoon, when I changed?" he asked.

"I dunno, I just did. I said. Sorry, that isnt very helpful. I guess your body language changes a bit?"

He shrugged. "It's so annoying. River got the gender-neutral name. I got," He paused, and looked up at me," I got Beckett. Don't fucking laugh."

"I wasn't going to." I replied. "I've got the same name as Dad so I'm not one to talk."

"John?" He asked.

"Johnathan. He's John or Johnny for short. I'm JJ. Or Jay. Or Junior. Basically, anything that starts with a J."

Beck laughed. "Calling your son after yourself always seems like something villains do. Not that your dad is a villain. How did your mom agree to it?"

"Dunno, never got to ask her." I said. "She walked out at about the same time Phil walked in."

"Ah." Beck said. He was silent for a while.

"Hey, I'm sure it'll be okay." I started. "The move. And, if you don't like it you can always come visit us."

"I guess." Beck muttered, lying back on my bed. "I suppose, I mean, Dad always got his head around me better. But still, that doesn't mean I want to leave my friends and shit. Will you come stay sometime?" He asked. "Right. Dogs. Forgot. Sorry."

"No, no, it's fine. Saska might be able to come on the plane, I dunno. And if not, I'm sure I'll last a week or so." I suggested.

"Really?" Beck grinned, stretching out on my bed. "Cool."

"The things I do." I muttered.

"Eh, you'll enjoy it." Beck said. "And if not, well, too bad." I laughed. He yawned, and made his way back up to his bunk before he fell asleep.

We all woke up late, and as soon as breakfast was eaten and cleared away River dragged Beck and I to the studio where he would be practicing, in the same building as where he would be competing. "You get up there all alone?" I asked, "Woah. Brave."

"You can dance with a partner, but for some reason they don't like me dancing with Beck when he's Beck- idiots- and anyway he's not nearly good enough for this sort of level." River said, holding his leg so he was practically doing the splits vertically.

"Fuck you too." Beck grinned. "But yeah, I'm shit compared with River. I could just manage two years ago, but not now. So, River dances solo, because he has no friends. Unless it's with the girl whose name he won't tell me..."

"Oh, River, you got a girlfriend?" I asked.

"No. Hell no. Beck's just making something from nothing. She's just a friend."

"Or so he says." Beck teased.

"Will you shut up? Turn the fucking music on." River said, scowling. Beck did as he was told, and a change came over River. Yes, I'd seen him dance before, but not to music. He was a completely different person. I'd never seen something quite like it.

"Oh, quit being amazed, he'll get cocky." Beck said, leaning against the bar that River had used for warming up.

River didn't even say anything biting back, he was so caught up in the dance.

He reached, turned and span, the world around him a mere distraction. The music coursed through him, travelling from his ears to the very tips of his fingers, in perfect time with his heartbeat. For the first time in weeks, he was truly himself. He was completely at home in the melody, completely comforted by the dance. All his worries were washed away.

River finished the dance with a flourish, and grabbed his water bottle. "Well?" he asked.

"Pretty good, although you need more practice on the tri-"

River interrupted Becks criticism, and turned to me. "JJ?"

"Um, I dunno much about dance, but I thought it was pretty amazing?" I said, completely out of my depth.

"Okay!" River grinned. "Good enough feedback for me. Now, I want donuts, how about you guys?"

"No, do a second run through first." Beck said.

River grimaced. "Slave driver."

"You're the one who wants to be a pro dancer." Beck said. "And a lot of that could have been improved. You're out of practice, Bro." He turned to me. "Jay, you able to get donuts?"

"Sure." I grinned, leaving them to bicker. When I got back, River was lying on the floor, having finished his routine again, and apparently also been made to do push-ups and such by Becca. He jumped up when he saw the donut box though.

"You're so food motivated!" Becca complained. River shrugged in response, pulling out his phone and playing some other music, that sounded worryingly like Still Alive.

***

"Good luck," Cali smiled. We had been in Toronto for a few days, and were currently standing at the base of the stairs in the building where River's competition was taking place within the hour.

"Thanks." River said, running his hand through his hair.

"Yo, you're up." Becca said, jogging down the stairs.

River nodded at Cali and Eva, and Becca and I followed him up to the theatre.

I had thought I had seen him dance to the best of his ability. I was wrong. Sitting there, among the close friends and family of those competing, and representative from dance companies, behind the judges, I was again surprised by the shear fluidity of his movements; the confidence that was exuded from every pore in his body; the way the dance came naturally to him, as if he was the dance and the dance was him, flowing around him, through him.

It didn't matter that it was only Becca and I were there to support him. It didn't matter that they had both been a little stressed and worried about moving to England. There in the studio, River was someone else entirely.
The story he was trying to convey was one of pure love, and hopefulness, and looking around I could tell that everyone in the room felt it.