Chapter 14: I won't let you fall anymore

_____

     "I swear, Kim! Only once if you laugh, I promise I'll give you another punch! " the boy with the longer hairs yells, half irritated, half embarrassed, while the older one takes away invisible tears from his eyes.

      "I'm sorry, Jeon, but how the hell could you ask such a thing? " Taehyung says in his turn, and the younger boy just covers his face in shame.

      "Shut the hell up. I did not knew!" Jungkook tries to defend himself, and the other one just chuckles again, then looks at him amused.

     More than a week has passed since that "drinking incident", and they both tried to avoid the rather embarrassing subject as much as possible. Okay, more Jungkook, because in the last few days, Taehyung has become more and more open to perverse remarks, having a lot of fun seeing the red Jungkook.

       The older boy's bet with his best friend was canceled by Taehyung himself, although that meant he automatically lost to Jimin. Why did he do that? Because he realized that he didn't want to say any more information about Jungkook. So he had to buy Jimin about three bags full of luxury clothes (yes, his wallet cried for many days in a row).

      Moreover, the case with Jungkook's suspicious injury was closed, although the boy with the bandanna was not very satisfied. But he did not insisted again, because Jungkook did not want to talk about it. And in the last days, they both went out several times, under the pretext of what Taehyung said before; that they will go out ten times to see if they can become friends.

      And now look at them, on their fifth outing, where Taehyung suggested to eat at one of the newest pizzerias open. And of course as Jungkook has to do something embarrassing this time as well, and when the waitress came to take their order, Jungkook asked her "How many months are you pregnant?", not really knowing that the woman was simply a big lover of chocolate. So yes, it was pretty embarrassing, especially when the woman turned red.

       "But how can you ask such a stranger? Damn, Jeon, I could swear you're smarter than that! Pfff, stupid. "Taehyung insists, and the younger one just looks around bored.

       "Okay, I made a mistake, that's it! What do you want now? A medal? " the younger boy asks sarcastically, then bites into another slice of pizza, squinting like a small child.

      Taehyung chuckles subtly, finding himself far too interested in the way Jungkook eats. Don't get him wrong, there's nothing weird about this. It's just the way he puts the slice of pizza in his mouth, the way his lips soften the bread first, it's a little ... perverse for the idiot with the dick bigger than his brain.

       "Did I tell you that you are damn cute, Jeon? " the boy with the bandanna asks out of blue, and the other one just rolls his eyes, although you can see how his cheeks become redder.

       "Dozens of times, Kim. And so many times I kept warned you to stop if you don't want to break your hand. " Jungkook says in a tone that is meant to be threatening, but the other just keeps laughing at how cute someone with such a difficult attitude can be.

        "You know that in a week's we have a game against the last year students, don't you? "Taehyung asks, and the question seems to draw the other's attention.

         "I had no idea! Why the hell am I always the last to find out? Jungkook mumbles, and the older one just shrugs, looking still amused at his roommate.

         "Probably because you still refuse to go out with the whole team. Those subjects are best discussed at these type outgoing. " Taehyung explains and the other shifts his gaze to the window.

         "You know I don't like going out too much. I make already a a huge sacrifice. I have to endure all these outings of yours, just because of that stupid bet, or whatever the hell it would be. "

      The older one looks at him somehow focused, trying to find out something, although he has little idea what. He simply wants to find even the slightest answer on Jungkook's face. At what kind of question? Maybe ... why does he hate being in the presence of others so much when he doesn't have training or classes? Because yes, he has often noticed how rigid the younger one becomes when a student or a teacher that he doesn't know very well, tries to talk to him. And it's not good at all. It's not good that even Taehyung realizes that Jeon Jungkook prefers loneliness the most.

       Why? Because loneliness in too high doses, is nothing more than the beginning of an intentional madness. But Taehyung has already promised. He promised to somehow get Jungkook out of his state, even though he doesn't know why he is in it.

        "But it's nice to be around others, Jeon. It's nice to have a lot of friends. " Taehyung tries to mimic the tone as relaxed as possible, although he doesn't come out very well.

      Jungkook seems to think for a few seconds, then smiles weakly, turning his gaze to the other. And again, Taehyung feels how in the eyes of the tattooed boy, he can see desolation and pain. Why? Hell, why? Every time she talks to the younger boy, he feels like he's talking to a wall. It's so damn closed in himself!

       "Are you done with your pizza? We can go? We have training again in the morning, then classes, so we should get some rest. " Jungkook suggests, and the other immediately realizes that he is trying to avoid what he said earlier.

      And Taehyung, as usual, just sighs, knowing that he still can't find out more about his roommate.

       "Yeah, we can go." he says later, taking his wallet out of his pocket.

***

       "Jungkook, calm down, everything is okay." Taehyung whispers in a thick yet warm tone, trying to calm the boy who is still shaking a little.

     The tattooed boy just keeps crying quietly, without caring how bad he looks at the moment, or no matter how embarrassing the situation is. He simply feels that he can't stop, he feels that the air is no longer enough, and that he doesn't have much until he suffocates. He feels ... he feels that he is dying slowly and painfully, and at the moment, he really doesn't care how embarrassing he looks.

      "I... I ca- I can not breath." he manages to mumbles in a low, empty voice, while Taehyung just looks at him eyes full of fear and worry, making circles with his fingers on his back to calm him down.

        Although he has already gotten used to his roommate's nightmares, tonight was much worse than ever before. Even though he had heard him talk, cry, or scream in his sleep, he had never seen him almost suffocate while sleeping. So when he heard some words he couldn't decipher at the moment, he woke up to see Jungkook pale as a ghost, sweating and shaking non-stop as he kept sleeping. And hell, the bandanna-boy was more than just scared, and he still is. 

      "Kook, focus on me, okay? Count to five." Taehyung whispers to him again, trying to create an environment as calm as possible, although he himself feels crazy because of worry.

        Jungkook just swallowed as he grits his teeth, trying to concentrate. It is not the first time he has a panic attack, but lately they are becoming more frequent and stronger. And that's damn annoying. It's annoying to feel like the air isn't enough for you anymore, to feel like you don't have much left until you become one with the wind. And he always feels that in this type of state.

       "O- One." 

       Taehyung just nods slowly, then slowly touching his hair, giving a few strands from his forehead away. He then kneels in front of him, looking into his eyes intently. He has no idea when he last felt so scared as now. He doesn't even know why he feels so scared now. But seeing Jungkook in this state ... he feels something damn painful close to his heart. Hella weird if you ask him. 

        "Yeah, good. Keep going, Kook. "

      You may be wondering since when Taehyung started calling Jungkook this way. Well, the answer is simple: He never called him that before. But right now, that's how he feels he wants to talk with him.

       "T- two." the younger one mumbles again, still searching in vain for some air. "Th- three, fou-four." he says after in faster, and the older one just looks at him desperately, feeling damn useless at the moment.

       Since when the hell have they become so close that he feels so bad when he sees the younger one this way? I mean, Taehyung really wants to be friends with Jungkook. But they still have about five outgoings until their pact ends. And yet...

       "Last one, Jungkook. One more to go." the older one whispers again, and the younger looks a little more stable, even if he still trembles.

        "Fi- five." he says and then takes a deep breath, feeling the heavy stone in his chest disappear like magic.

       Taehyung also takes a deep breath, because all this time he felt like holding his breath with Jungkook. It was damn scary. Yes, he can repeat that over and over again.

        "These days we're going to see a doctor. It can certainly help you with your panic attacks and the nightmares. " Taehyung says, and Jungkook immediately intersects his gaze with his own.

        "To see a doctor?" the younger one asks without stuttering again, and the bandanna-boy nods, then gets up from the floor, then he sits on the bed next to his roommate.

         "Yeah, Jeon. What is happening to you is not healthy at all. You really need to see a doctor. You have to follow a treatment or something. " Taehyung says the other one just swallows hard, then moves his gaze to the floor.

        Yes, he knows that what is happening to him is not healthy at all. He knows that far too well. But in no case will he go to a doctor.

          "Maybe I like to be sick."

       The reply makes Taehyung to glance at him more disappointed than angry. Jungkook does something like that again, and says something so serious, in such a light way. Again the same black thinking, put in such bad words.

          "I'm not kidding here, Jungkook. " the older boy tries to stay calmer, and the younger one just runs his hand through his hair in frustration.

          "I'm not kidding either, Taehyung. " the other boy answers on the same subject, then sighs wearily. "I'm more than good as I am, you don't have to interfere in my business."

        Taehyung just chuckles angrily as soon as he hears what his roommate said. He then gets  out of bed, taking Jungkook by surprise.

          "I should not interfere in your business? Really, Jeon? How should I do that, when in the last nights I see you crying and screaming in your sleep, and today, you even had a panic attack while you were sleeping! " Taehyung raises his voice, already feeling all this air unbearable. "It is clear that you are not well and yet you are trying to hide! Hell, Jungkook! You already know you can't do that anymore. " he then says in a lower voice, and the younger one just looks at him lost again.

        Yeah, he didn't expected this reaction. He didn't expected these words. But somehow ... it warms him to know that Taehyung really wants to help him, even though he can't accept his help.

          "Why not?" Jungkook asks as his turn, and the bandanna-boy takes another deep breath, then looks directly at him.

        And as soon as he hears Taehyung's response, the tattooed boy feels another brick falling from his wall.

           "Because I care already about you."

        There is a silence, and the younger one can not tell what the fuck he feels in the stomach.

           "Kim, what you-"

           "And I will not let you fall apart anymore."

_____

Yeah, a kinda boring and shitty chapter, but my inspiration is zero at then moment, and still, I have a lot of exams this week, so deal with it;))

I wait for your opinions and see ya soon I hopeee

Question: Who is your favorite character so far? Why?