Arohi's POV

What the hell did I just do? How can I do that? I betrayed Rahul. I broke his trust. I can't do that. I am what I am because of Rahul. He gave up his life for me and what am I doing here? I can't think about anyone else like that. How did I even let Rohan come near me and kiss me? I won't ever forgive myself for this.

The vision in front of me blurred, mostly because of the pool of tears flowing through my eyes. I don't know where I was going anymore. I wasn't in my right state of mind. I don't know what to do anymore. All I know was that I needed to get out of here. I just heard some people as I literally pushed them and ran past them. I just wanted to get out of this party as soon as I can. I wish I never came here. I just wish I can erase everything that happened just now.

"Arohi..." I heard a familiar and concerned voice but I couldn't care less. All I wanted to do was to get out of this place. Besides, I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I just wanted to be alone. I was feeling so guilty.

I felt someone hold my arm tightly as I walked past few people. I stopped right there. I tried to jerk the hand away. I don't want to see his face ever. I hate him more than anything in this world.

"AROHI... What's wrong?" I still was unable to process the voice or person in front of me. The grip on my arms tightened as I made another futile attempt to jerk the hand away.

"Arohi, what is wrong? Tell me..." Finally, with so much difficulty he made me face him and held me tightly by my shoulder. I was finally relieved and glad to see Vivek in front of me. I was so broken that I could have collapsed on the ground any time and that Vivek was here to hold me was much relieving to me.

"Arohi..." Vivek watched me with concerned eyes.

"Vivek, just take me out of here. Please don't ask anything now. I just want to go home. Please, Vivek." I pleaded to Vivek with all the strength left in me. I didn't care if I gained some attention from any of the people around me.

"Yeah, alright. Let's go." Vivek said in a low yet concerned voice. His hold on my shoulder was still tight as if he knew that I could break any time. He led me through the crowd and out in the parking.

Without any word he opened the car door for me and made me sit in passenger's seat. The whole drive was quite with Vivek in between giving me his concerned looks. I knew he had so many questions that he wanted to ask me right now. But I just don't have the strength to answer any of the questions. Besides, I don't know how and what to tell him. After all, I betrayed his best friend. And Rohan... No, I don't even want to think about him. Why am I drifting towards him? I should stop thinking about him. I just don't care about him. All I care right now is Rahul. So what he is not in the world anymore. He is still alive in my heart and is always with me through beautiful memories.

My train of thought was broken when Vivek pulled the car outside my house. I got out of the car without saying a word and ran to the door. I pulled out the keys from the purse and was trying to unlock the door but I just couldn't. My mind was somewhere else and my eyes were still clouded with tears.

Vivek took the keys from me and helped me to unlock the door.

"There you go." He said opening the door for me and gesturing for me to enter inside. I didn't say anything and entered the house. Vivek closed the door behind him.

"Arohi, I know you don't want to talk about anything now. But you will feel better if you open up a little." He said the thing I didn't want to hear at the moment. I know he cares for me but I am just not in the state to talk to anyone at the moment. Can't he understand that I want to stay alone? At least for some time.

"Vivek..."

"I know. I am not saying now Arohi. Whenever you are ready." Vivek said with a concerned face squeezing my hand. He paused for some time as his face toughened and his expressions changed a little. "If that Rohan Nanda or any of the people around him are the reason for this then I won't let it slide trust me." He said through gritted teeth.

"No...No one did anything Vivek..." I said in an attempt to make him understand. I don't know how to explain this to him without breaking down. I tried my hardest to hold everything inside as I continued further.

"It's just... I don't know. I just feel disgusted by myself... I just... feel so guilty... and it is eating me alive... I don't want to live Vivek. I betrayed him." I finally broke down in front of him. Vivek held me by my shoulders tight. Looking very concerned.

"Betrayed who? What are you talking?"

"I want to... stay alone... Vivek. Please leave." I managed to say this in between my sobs.

"Do you really think I can leave you like this?" Vivek said in a concerned voice as he wiped some tears from my face. But the tears were still unstoppable.

"Vivek..." I tried to say but couldn't even complete the sentence as I didn't have the energy nor words. I started crying again. Vivek enveloped me in a tight hug.

"No!!! I am not going anywhere leaving you like this." Vivek said further. Worry clearly visible in his voice. I knew he was afraid to leave me like this. I knew it even better that he won't leave me like this. And I guess somewhere inside I was relieved for that fact. He continued further. "If you don't want to talk, I won't force you but I am definitely not leaving you alone."

I don't know for how much time I cried being in his embrace but Vivek didn't utter a word after that nor he forced me to say anything more. That's what I like about him. He never forced me to open up even when I lost Rahul. But he was still there for me, always. Being my strength when I needed it the most. And I hope even today he will be able to take me out of this. I just can't handle this.

**************

The next morning came early too. At least it seemed like that to me. When I got up it was already afternoon. With so many efforts I got up and managed to sit on the bed. I took a look at my mobile absent-minded but got disappointed big time when I didn't see his name in any of the notifications.

Why? Even I don't know.

I have decided to stay away from him then why did my heart keep drifting to that person even when my mind is yelling at me to stay away from him. I just don't know! I want myself to stop thinking and feeling for him.

It's good that he didn't bother to check on me this time too. I needed this reality check badly. He just doesn't care for me. Never have! Anyways why and what I am expecting from him.

'You need to stop thinking, Arohi. For Rahul.'

I took a deep sigh as I heard the knock on the door. I knew who it would be.

"Arohi, are you up?" I heard Vivek's voice.

"Yeah! Come in." I said with a great effort as my head was throbbing with pain. Vivek came inside with a bright smile on his face. I return a fake smile to him.

"I have had knocked this door at least 30 times since morning. Finally, you are up!" Vivek tried to light up the mood. I gave him a weak smile.

"Sorry to trouble you. But I'm fine now Vivek. You can go home now."

"First of all, you are not a trouble for me. And second yes I'm going home once you finish eating." Vivek said sitting in front of me.

"I have no appetite, honestly," I said in a little irritated mood. I just don't want to talk.

"I knew you would say this. But go and wash up. I'll be waiting downstairs. Not eating anything won't solve the problem. In fact, it will increase your headache." Vivek said putting a hand on my head. I didn't say anything because I know he is stubborn in making his ways so he won't give up easily. So I have to give in to make him stop talking. I sighed again.

"Come on go! And come fast." Vivek said getting up from his position and gesturing me to follow him too. I finally gave in and got up from the bed.

When I came downstairs Vivek was already ready with everything. We ate in silence. Once we finished with eating Vivek left not before giving me tons of instructions about what should I do and what not. He also promised to come in the evening and visit me. I know he cares for me but it can be a little annoying some times. Especially when you are in no mood for any kind of conversation.

**************

Rest of the day I spent mostly in my room or music room playing my piano thinking about what should I do. I felt so guilty. I can't face myself. How can I? I just hate myself for doing that to my Rahul. 

And that too for a person like Rohan? Who doesn't even care for me? He won't care for whatever happened last night. What am I even thinking? He might have forgotten by now too. That is just too normal for him. When has he cared for other people or their feelings anyway? He has had many girls in his life and I'll only be one of them for him. Just another girl on his list.

I was brought back from my thoughts when I heard the doorbell. I was surprised that Vivek came this early.

I was even more surprised when I opened the door. Because I wasn't expecting her at all. Jenny was standing before me with a concerned face.

"You left me yesterday without telling me." She said making a pout as she entered the house. I closed the door behind me without saying a word.

"Arohi, are you okay?" Jenny turned to face me. I just kept staring at the ground. Jenny came closer to me. She held me by my arms. And it took me no time to break again. She was the closest person to me at the moment who can understand me and with whom I can share everything.

Jenny didn't say anything at my outburst instead held me in her arms tightly. I thought I don't have any more tears left but I was wrong. So wrong! I guess there is still so much left in me that I have been hiding. And everything is just coming out at this moment.

I felt suffocated but letting it out before her was so easy. It felt OK. I knew she won't judge me nor will leave my side. I felt comfortable and safe in her embrace. I felt as if everything will okay from now on as she is here. Maybe I was just trying to comfort myself that I needed the most at the moment.

Though it was true that I know her mostly because of the person I hate the most right now. But I don't care about it. She is my friend before anything else.

After some time my sobs calm down a bit, Jenny offered me a glass of water. I drank it in one go and sat straight still unable to meet her eyes.

"Arohi... You can tell me anything. You know that right?" Jenny said in a low voice putting her hand over mine. I sobbed. No one spoke anything for some time.

"Jenny..." I started in a low voice. Jenny's grip on my hand tightened but she didn't say anything, maybe afraid that I would stop. But I had no reasons to stop. I just wanted to let out everything. I wanted to take off this burden for once and all.

"I...don't know... I don't know what to do..." I started with a shaky voice. "I feel so... guilty... and .... frustrated..." I looked at Jenny for a moment who was listening to me carefully so I continued further. "I... I feel... I cheated... on Rahul..."

"How... can I make... make up for this mistake?" I was still sobbing. Jenny came a little closer to me and wrapped her arms over my shaking body. She still was quietly listening to me.

"I don't know this Jenny... I just don't know... What to do anymore...." I barely managed to finish the sentence and stayed quiet waiting for her to say something.

"Arohi... Just tell me what exactly happened?" After a moment of silence, Jenny asked me, "Tell me what is wrong? Why are you feeling like this?"

"I... Rohan..." I just don't know how to say this to her. But I have to let this thing out. I can't keep it inside me. I was too afraid to do that.

"I knew something happened between you two but I wasn't sure. I tried asking Rohan about it but he is not talking." Jenny said in a worried voice.

"Don't... I don't want to listen about him, Jenny. I hate him...." I said gritting my teeth. I just don't even want to hear his name. That itself is making my blood boil. Though I don't know if I am mad at him or myself. I took a deep sigh before continuing further. "He is the reason for everything. I shouldn't.... have gone to the party... or accepted his offer in the first place...."

"Arohi, what did he do?" Jenny asked again with worry clearly visible on her face. I took a deep breath before finally telling her what exactly happened.

"I... kissed him..." I said without looking at her. Jenny gasped but then recovered herself immediately. I continued further without waiting for her to say anything. "I shouldn't have. I hate myself for doing that Jenny. What should I do about it? I love Rahul. How should I correct everything? I betrayed him. I feel so terrible at myself for breaking his trust. I am his and will always be. How did I let that happen?" I finished being frustrated, sad, angry, guilty.

"Calm down Arohi. It's okay!!!" Jenny said squeezing my hand. I looked at her in disbelief.

"NO!!! NO Jenny. It is not okay!!!" I said making my voice a little loud. But she still stayed quiet.

"Arohi!!!"

"I hate Rohan, Jenny. I just hate him. He is responsible for everything." I said with so much frustration. I just couldn't tell anymore what is wrong and what is right. My head is just hurting so much with all of this. Going to the party was the worst decision of my life. But letting Rohan Nanda in my life or closer to me was much worse than that.

"Arohi, you know that is not right," Jenny said calmly.

"I thought you might take my side, Jenny. But I guess you are his friend first then mine." I said not believing her. How can she take his side?

"It's not about taking sides Arohi. And if that's the case you know I am by your side and I will always be..." Jenny said sighing. "You are just not in right state to think properly."

"Jenny..." I tried to stop her. I wanted to prove her wrong. I am in the right state of mind. I am thinking straight.

"No! listen to me..." but Jenny didn't let me continue. "I know you love Rahul. You always have but that doesn't mean you can not love someone else. That someone else is never going to replace what place Rahul holds in your life. You need to let him go, Arohi. That's when you can let someone in again. It is not wrong to love someone else." I didn't say anything. I just don't know what to say. I kept staring at our hands. Jenny took a sigh as I refused to speak anything and continued further.

"Don't keep holding yourself back. Don't force yourself to not love someone else." She said calmly but whatever she was saying wasn't comforting me but it was just making me even more frustrated. "I don't know if you don't know it or you are not willing to accept it but deep down even you know what Rohan means to you. And if you want me to tell you this then... you love him, Arohi."

"NOOO!!!" I said jerking her hand. She doesn't know what Rahul meant to me else she wouldn't have said it.

"Yes! Yes, you do! Don't ignore it, Arohi. Not now! You are just hurting yourself more." Jenny said in a stern voice.

"I don't care what you think Jenny. But that is not true." I said defending myself but deep down maybe I was aware of what she is saying. I just don't want to hear it out aloud. Not from her. "Okay! I might have liked him at some point but NO, I definitely don't love him. I never have and I never will."

"You know, even I can't help you if you yourself are not willing to help yourself," Jenny said making her voice little louder to match mine. "I know you love Rahul but that doesn't mean you can't let someone else close to you. That won't decrease your love for him. He is gone now, Arohi. But you are still here. And you still have your entire life before you..." Her voice soften as she looked at me with concerned eyes.

"I don't need anyone..." I said gritting my teeth with a determined tone.

"I know!! I am not saying you need someone. I am saying you love that guy. I don't want to see you live in regret for the rest of your life. Don't push him, Arohi. You might regret it later." Jenny said desperately trying to change my mind but I was too stubborn to listen to her.

"Listen, Jenny...."

"She is right, Arohi." I heard Vivek. Jenny and I looked at the direction to see him standing close to the door. I don't know how much he heard.

"Vivek..." I said softening my tone. He gave me an assuring smile.

"I don't think even Rahul would want that. He, himself chose to end his life. You didn't force him to. He chose that path for himself. You have full right to live your life, Arohi. Till when you are going to do this?" He said coming towards us and stopped right in front of me beside Jenny. I stayed quiet.

"Jenny is right. You love Rohan. Your eyes, your behavior, everything tells us that Arohi. It's just you who is not willing to accept the truth. You are happiest when you are with him. He makes you smile. I see the old Arohi coming alive with him. And it makes me happy."

"Vivek..." I wanted to stop him. I can't hear this. Not from Vivek out of all people.

"And if you are worried about betraying Rahul then trust me, I know my friend too well. He just wanted to see you happy. And he would be happiest to see you with Rohan. You know why because your happiness matters. Seeing you like this, in this state would hurt him to the core." Vivek's words were ripping my heard and I couldn't take it anymore. Tears started to flow again from my eyes.

I know he is right, I knew Jenny was right with whatever she said. Even my heart somewhere knows that I have always had feelings for Rohan. I felt happy whenever he was around. My heart felt at peace being with him. I always get butterflies whenever he is around me. But it is just not right! Tears were just not stopping.

Jenny pulled me closer to her again. Vivek sat beside me. They both stayed there without a word and let me calm down.

"You don't have to accept anything now, Arohi. Take your time. We just said what we felt was right. But the final call is yours. It is your life after all. We just want you to be happy, that's all. And if that happiness is Rohan then I want to see you with him. I want to see you happy, Arohi. Rahul released himself from this world leaving you behind. And you have suffered enough. Just don't punish yourself further. Not for him." Vivek finished putting his hand on my head. I just kept looking at him unable to say anything for this.

"Rohan is leaving tomorrow night for London." Jenny said after a moment of silence. And that shook my entire world. I watched her in disbelief.

How can he leave like that? Doesn't he care at all about me? I thought he liked me back. But he didn't even bother to call me or even ask me if I was okay after yesterday. Instead what? He is leaving? And I am crying here over that guy? Did I do any mistake falling for a guy like him? How can he do that to me?

I guess Jenny kind of got my questions as she continued further. "He is disturbed since yesterday too, Aro. I know that guy. He won't share anything with anyone. He is just like that. But trust me, something is eating him since you know what. Maybe he is guilty of whatever happened. He is too dumb to tell what people feel. He knows about your feelings for Rahul. Maybe that's why... You both just need to talk and sort out the things."

"I have nothing to talk to him, Jenny. If he wants to leave then he can. I don't care." I said with a stern voice. Clenching my fists.

"Really? You don't care...? Then why colors on your face faded when you heard about him leaving?" Vivek said in no time looking at me with his brows furrowed.

"It's nothing Vivek. Can you please stop assuming things?" I said being irritated by both of them as I looked away from them. Why are they stubborn in proving that I have a feeling for Rohan.

"I am not assuming things, Arohi. You are just being too stubborn. Why is it so hard for you to accept that you love that guy?" Vivek said again not looking away from my face even for a second.

"Why you two don't understand that I don't love him and saying that thing, again and again, is not gonna change anything," I said in a loud annoyed voice. "And why are you after me? Did anyone ask Rohan about it? No!!" I said almost shouting at them which I rarely do. Because I don't have any other option. Those people are pissing me off.

I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as I calmed down my senses before continuing further. "That person didn't even bother to check on me since last night. After whatever happened between us. He doesn't care about me. Whatever happened doesn't matter to him. I don't matter to him."

"Arohi that's not true. He cares for you. I know that. I can tell that about him as I can tell about you." Jenny said.

"I don't know. Just leave me alone. Both of you. I don't want to talk to anyone, neither I want to meet Rohan. He can leave if he wants to. I don't care." I said finally in a low voice.

"Arohi..." Vivek was saying something when Jenny held his arm making him stop.

"That's fine Vivek. It is of no use. We can't do anything unless she herself wants to accept it. So it's better to leave her alone for now. " Jenny said and gave me a weak smile. I didn't return it nor I said anything. I just moved my gaze from them to nothing specific. I heard Jenny took a sigh as she continued further.

"But Arohi, just think about it. Sometimes we push people away not knowing what importance they hold in our lives because we are too blinded by the lies that surround us that we don't bother to accept the truth that lies right in front of us.  And when those people finally go away from us, we realize what we have lost but then sometimes they just don't come back again. Then the only thing we can do is regret. I hope you don't go through that. I just don't want you to have that 'IF' in your life. If I would have done that, my life would have been different. I don't want you to go through that phase. That's why I am saying... just be brave enough Arohi to accept the truth now only." Her words felt like a harsh wake-up call like someone poured ice water on me. 

Am I really pushing him away? Do I really love him? Am I going to regret this decision in my life? I mean yes I feel good with him. I agree he makes me happy. And when he pushes me away it hurts me. When he gave attention to Ahana. I felt something inside me break. Why was I upset with him on that trek night? Why it mattered to me what Ahana is to him?

"I can't say these things to Rohan that's why I am telling this to you. He thinks you are so in love with Rahul which is right, I know. But what he doesn't know is that he has also gained the same place in your heart as of Rahul. That you love him too. That you have to tell him by yourself." Jenny said again as she turned to Vivek.

"I guess we should leave now... Vivek?" Vivek gave her a nod and turned to face me.

"Yeah! Take care Arohi. Call me if you need anything. And just to tell you that, I am always there for you in your every decision. I just want to see you smile and live yet again." He said pressing a smile. I again didn't change my expressions.

"Bye, Aro. I will come to see you again. Take care alright." Jenny said squeezing my arm a little. I didn't make any move so they just sighed and left me there alone by myself.

Their words were eating me inside. My head was spinning from all the thoughts. Thoughts mostly about Rohan. I don't know what is happening to me anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I have so many questions and I know the answer to them very well. I know the answer for long enough now. I was just too afraid to accept it mostly because of Rahul. 

Rahul is a very important part of my life. I can never replace him, no one can replace him. But I don't know when Rohan Nanda sneaked in and stole broken pieces of my heart. But the fault is mine, right? I knew the culprit but I let him keep it. I didn't try to get it back, not even once.  And now he has a whole of my heart. Somehow I ended up giving every piece of it to him. It's true. I love him. I love Rohan Nanda. I knew way back when I left London, when I cried for having to leave him, when I missed him when he broke our hug at the airport. I knew I was falling when he made me blush when his closeness affected me when he gave me butterflies. I knew it all along, just too well. But I was scared to accept it, I still am. 

I'm scared that maybe one day Rohan will replace Rahul and make me forget him. I don't want that. That has been the only reason for me to stay away from love. I didn't want Rahul to be someone I talk about when I mention my past. I want him to be there in every moment of my life, in every breath I take, even if he's not here. I just wanted to be only his and die as his. Everyone keeps saying that he's gone but he's not gone for me. He's right here, beside me, watching me, I know that. I can still feel him sometimes. He can't just leave me like that. 

I got up and went towards the music room. I stood there looking at one of his picture hanging on the wall. He looked happy holding his guitar. I ran my fingers on it, stopping at his cheek as tears left my eyes. I felt helpless even when I had everyone, I have friends now who are ready to do anything to put a smile on my face. But even they can't help me. I stared blankly at his face smiling back at me. He is the only one who can help me. Only he can set me free. 

"I don't know what to do... I'm tired of this." I said as I kept looking at his picture with tears blurring my vision partially. "Help me, Rahul!" And then I broke down yet again. I fell on the floor crying my eyes out. 

"I miss you! Why did you leave me? I thought I was strong but I am not! I'm just a coward afraid of love. I'm afraid he'll leave me one day and I won't be able to bear that pain. I'm afraid that he'll take me away from you. I'm afraid..." I let out my heart and cried like a child. 

"Rahul, I love him... I tried to not fall in love but I did. I couldn't stop myself and now I feel miserable." More tears followed as I finished. I stayed there on the floor crying, feeling helpless. I cried until no tears were left. I felt the need for someone at that moment to hold me safety but no one was around. I looked around and I realized what lonely life I've been leading. I had people who cared for me but I always pushed them away after Rahul left me. Was that right? I kept persuading Rohan to open up and live his life, was I doing the same? 

'NO'

 All the pride I had for living alone and surviving each day without Rahul, collapsed. It was not life, I was never living, I was merely surviving. I'm not strong, I was just pretending all this while. I never open my heart to love because I was scared that I'll be left broken again and maybe I wouldn't be able to take that pain. I was scared I'll leave behind Rahul and his memories and turn into an ungrateful person. I always had the idea that falling for someone will make me love Rahul less. But I was so wrong!  

"...Sometimes we push people away not knowing what importance they hold in our lives because we are too blinded by the lies that surround us that we don't bother to accept the truth that lies right in front of us. And when those people finally go away from us, we realize what we have lost but then sometimes they just don't come back again. Then the only thing we can do is regret..." 

Jenny's words rang through my head. She is right. I can't live my life in regret, I don't want to. I suffered enough only because I chose to live like that. 

"...just be brave enough Arohi to accept the truth now only."

It's time that I accept the truth and live my life. I want some peace of mind. I made myself suffer a lot due to my own thoughts. My own thoughts were my enemy. I wiped my already dried tears.

Rahul decided to escape from the hurdles that life put before him, he chose that path and ended his life for me. Vivek told me he did that to see me happy, live my life for myself and choose happiness. Rahul left because he didn't want me to be next Rahul Jaykar. And now I realize I never fulfilled his wishes. I was just turning into something he never wanted me to be. All the while pursuing singing and being India's nightingale, top singer, I thought I made him happy. But how wrong was I?

He wanted me to be happy and live my life but I was just continuing to be the same. I never changed for him. I was betraying him all this while, I was disrespecting him with my decision to live alone. Even though Vivek has told me this a multiple time, I refused to take it. I refused to see the purpose of his death. 

I got up and looked at the picture of Rahul before me but I didn't have tears in my eyes. 

"I'm sorry...I never understood you. I'm sorry..." I placed my hand on his picture, running my fingers on his perfect features. "I love you and I always will and I promise you that I'll live the way you want me to." With that said I felt my heart finally at peace and I smiled back at him. 

I stepped outside the room and felt like a new person. It's strange how I never realized this before or accepted this truth when Vivek kept saying it to me. It took Rohan to make me see this, make me truly understand why Rahul left me. It's time to change myself, to truly fulfill Rahul's wish. I smiled to myself with that thought. 

Yes, I love Rohan. I love him!

I said it in my head and for the first time, I wasn't scared or guilty, I was just happy. I was finally able to accept myself and be brave enough to accept the truth. 

He is leaving tomorrow and it's my last chance to tell him what I really feel. I felt the need to tell him, with this new found courage in me. I don't know what will happen from here on, I don't even know if he'll break me and leave me or will stay with me and be mine forever. The future stood unclear and unpredictable but for the first time that made me excited and then I knew I was starting to live. 

'I love him and I need to tell him this. I need to stop him from leaving.' I thought to myself.

I don't know how much time passed but it was dark around when I finally came to my senses. I took a look at the time on the clock hanging on the wall. It was past midnight already. I didn't bother to eat. I straight away made my way to my room and fell on the bed. I was just too tired from all the crying and then finally coming to my right senses. I was happy and felt peaceful. I determined to meet Rohan tomorrow morning. That will be the first thing I need to do. I can't waste any more time. I need to let him know this. A smile formed on my face just thinking about it. I closed my eyes and fell asleep with Rohan being the last thing on my mind.

*************

I got up earlier than expected. I took a quick bath and got comfortable in jeans and sweatshirt. I pulled my hairs in a pony because of the scorching Mumbai heat and applied lip balm as I took a final look at myself in the mirror. I took a deep breath thinking about the mission on my hand and smiled to myself a little.

"You can do it Arohi. It's just Rohan. You just need to tell those three words to him. That's it." I talked to myself.

I then took my mobile, purse and car key from the table and made my way downstairs as I dialed Jenny's number to let her know about my little mission.

It took me about half an hour to reach Jenny's place with the Mumbai traffic. Jenny opened the door with a wide mischievous smile on her face. She got too excited hearing my decision that she screamed making Arjun jumped with fear. But it is still between us as I am not going to tell anyone else before I tell Rohan about it.

"Arohi, this early?" Raghav came from behind Jenny with messy hair. I gave him a smile.

"Yeah, you guys decided to leave overnight and didn't even bother to tell me. I'm glad at least Jenny did." I said faking an angry glare at Raghav, who turned his gaze to Jenny.

"Jenny asked me not to call you as you are busy and that she has already told you."

"You did?" I turned to Jenny and raised my eyebrows at her. She gave me a knowing smile which I returned.

"Yup, I did." Raghav looked at us in total confusion but ignored.

"Anyway, I was going to meet you today. But I'm happy to see you." He said further as he came and gave me a tight hug. I smiled wholeheartedly in his embrace.

"I am happy too," I said smiling widely as I pulled back from the hug. Raghav gave me a sheepish smile.

"Just move, Raghav. Go and wash up yourself then you can talk to her. Just go." Jenny said pushing Raghav aside. And she kept pushing him until he went to the stairs.

"Alright, fine. I'll be right back Arohi," He finally said accepting his defeat.

"Yes," I said smiling at them. With that Raghav vanished upstairs.

"Go and first do the thing you are here for. I'm too scared that you might change your mind." Now it was time for Jenny to push me to go to Rohan's room.

"That is not going to happen ever, Jenny," I said with a determined voice. "Anyway, wish me luck."

"Relax, you aren't going on a war." She said giving me a smile.

"It's not less than one when it comes to Mr. Nanda," I said taking a deep breath.

"Oh ho!! Go already."

Nervousness spread all across me as I stood outside Rohan's room. I took one last deep breath before knocking on his door. I waited for him to say anything with bated breath.

"Yeah..." I heard his husky voice which always makes my heart skip a beat. I pushed the door open. Rohan looked at me once his eyes stopping at me as some emotions flashed through them. Maybe he wasn't expecting me here. But he moved his gaze fast to his bag and resumed what he was doing. His room was totally messy as he was packing his stuff. I just stood there for some time without saying anything. I don't know how to start the conversation. Neither did he say anything.

"Hey..." After great courage, I finally forced myself to say something but it came out as a whisper. But he thankfully heard it as he turned to face me again. His face was plain.

"Why are you here?" He asked coldly, and it was enough to set my heart racing. I could tell it wasn't the Rohan I know for the last few months. He has become his old self again. Not just old self but maybe worst than that.

"Umm... I wanted to talk." I said.

"I don't really think there is anything to talk. And can't you see? I'm busy." He said in an irritated voice making my heart tear into pieces. And went back to what he was doing. Why is he being like this? Because I left him there?

"And I thought we weren't talking?" He said looking again at me straight into my eyes. His eyes held anger and maybe something more which I just couldn't figure out.

"Rohan, please... I need to tell you something. Please listen to me once." I said almost pleading to him. If he was angry then he was right at his place. I deserved it after however, I behaved with him.

"Fine!! Tell whatever you have to say." He threw the cloth in his hand in his bag and looked at me. My words chocked inside my throat as my heart started beating faster than normal. Rohan took a deep sigh before continuing in an irritated voice as he turned and started packing his stuff again. "Can you please make it fast? I don't have the whole day for you."

"I love you..." I said in one breath gathering all the courage I had in me. I couldn't read his expressions as his back was facing me. He just stopped for a few moments and continued with folding his clothes.

I was waiting for him to say something. Anything. But he didn't. He didn't even spare me a look. That broke my heart further.

"Aren't you going to say anything Rohan?" I asked. I felt my heart break with his mere silence. I felt my cheek wet by a traitor tear. He turned around to walked past me to get his stuff when I held his arm, making his stop and look at me.

"I don't have anything to say? I'm sorry Arohi but I don't feel the same way towards you." His words stabbed right through my heart and I felt more broken than ever. "I don't love you Arohi. And I don't think I can ever."

"Really? Then why did you kiss me?" I never planned on saying those words to him but they just came out of anger at that moment. Why is he being like that?

"Kiss? Ohkay! So it is all because of that kiss." Rohan said letting out a small mocking laugh at me. I just watched him dumbfound as he continued further. "God Arohi, it was just a kiss. What is so big deal about it? It just happened in the heat of the moment. I don't think it meant anything. And I didn't even think that you will take it this seriously. What is wrong with you? Huh?" He finished with a smirk on his lips.

How can he say that to me? So I am just like any other girl to him? I wanted to slap that smirk off his face. I can't listen to this nonsense anymore. His every word was breaking something inside me.

"Really? Did it mean nothing to you? I mean nothing to you? Then why are you running away? Stop lying to me, Rohan Nanda." I said gritting my teeth and gave him a smirk as I saw the color on his face faded. His eyes turned dark but he recovered himself as he walked past me.

"I am not running away. I had to go back to London someday. I have my home and work there. I can't possibly stay in India all my life." He said with a plain tone.

"Really? And you decided to leave right after that thing happened between us?" I said in a challenging tone folding my hands over the chest. Rohan stopped for some time before turning around to face me. His face held some expression I couldn't figure out.

"You know what Arohi? Think whatever you want. Nothing is going to change. I don't love you! and you can't make me love you. Sure, you can stay happy in your little world thinking The Rohan Nanda can love someone like you." He said gritting his teeth.

"Listen, Rohan..." I was trying to say but he didn't let me finish it.

"You listen to me Arohi, whatever you are thinking only exist in your head. So wake up and smell the coffee. Don't you think you are too old for fairytales? You think I love you because I kissed you? Then you must know that I have kissed many girls like you. So do you think I love all of them?" He said making his voice little loud.

"Just shut up, Rohan!" I couldn't take it anymore. Why every decision in my life is backfiring at me. This is turning into my worst nightmare.

"You are the one talking nonsense. And you are telling me to shut up?" Rohan hissed.

"You know what yes I was wrong! I was wrong that I thought a person like you can be anything that Rahul was to me!" I said breaking down in front of him which I hated the most. I don't want him to see this side of me. I don't want him to see that he can make me weak.

"Yeah? I'm tired hearing that nonsense already Arohi. Rahul was this, Rahul was that... Fine, I got it that you love him. You don't have to say that in every fucking thing. Actually, you know what? I don't ever want to be another Rahul Jaykar. Everyone saw what happened to him. That guy destroyed his whole life because of you. He ended his life for you, Arohi. You want me to become another Rahul Jaykar? Do you want more fame now? Rahul gave you national recognization. Should I make you international fame and then die like him?" Rohan said those words aloud one after the other and I just couldn't utter a word at that. I just stayed there looking at him dumbfounded.

I froze at his words. How can he say something like that to me? How dare he say those things to me? I feel disgusted. Disgusted at me for loving someone like him. How can I ever think that this man can be like anything Rahul was to me.

Rohan didn't say anything more and I didn't try to read him further. Anyway, it's useless. He won't ever let me come close to him. He just walked out of the room leaving me alone. I tried to calm myself down. I tried to tell myself that this man isn't worthy of the tears but my heart didn't listen to me. Tears kept flowing down my eyes. I have never felt this helpless or broken. I hated myself more than him at that moment for thinking to move on... maybe I'm made to stay broken and lost in the ruins of my life...

**************

It's been two weeks since Rohan left for London. I didn't stop him nor did I try to contact him further. If he is not interested then there is no point in forcing him in any relation.

Raghav called me when they reached and apologized for Rohan's behavior, Jenny told Raghav and Arjun about the things that took place. After whatever Rohan said to me that day I didn't stay there for more insult, I left immediately and didn't say my goodbye to Raghav. 

He called me once again, a few days back to say that Rohan has dropped the whole album and he has no plans to continue it further and that if I want any penalty for termination of the contract, I can claim it. And obviously I didn't ask for any.

Now as I have also calmed down and if I think back to whatever happened between us, I don't know why but my heart keeps telling me that it was all a lie. Just an act to push me away. Rohan was anyway good at hiding his emotions under the mask. The mask that he puts to keep people out of his life. He was just running away from something, something that I don't know. I don't hold any grudges at Rohan for whatever he did to me because somewhere deep down I know he is fighting his own battle with his own life. And I obviously don't regret the fact that I fell in love with that jerk.

Because somewhere in the whole process he taught me that I should love myself more than anyone else and he was the reason for my realization about what Rahul actually wanted me to become. He made me believe that everything happens for a reason. Everything in my life has given me something and made me stronger. Whether it be someone entering my life or leaving it. Whatever happened had only made me discover myself more. I've seen many phases in my life, being born in a middle-class Maharashtrian family, struggling to peruse my career as a singer, singing at a bar for a cheap salary that barely kept my house running. Then meeting Rahul who gave me everything I ever dreamed of, who loved me unconditionally and taught me love. When he left me, he taught me to live without him, to be independent, to deal with pain and be strong. 

Now meeting Rohan has given me so much more than just beautiful memories.

When I first met him, I hated him. When I got to know about the mask he keeps wearing to hide his emotions, I somewhere saw myself in him. And trying to figure him out, I fell in love with the beautiful person that he keeps hiding. Trying to help him, he made me realize I was just as insecure and broken as him, that I'm not strong enough to help someone. He made me see the real me, the not so strong, broken, insecure, scared girl living inside of me. I was just pretending like him. He taught me that it was time to stop pretending and actually live. Falling in love with him gave me the strength to accept the truth and be brave. He taught me that I have to let go of things to move on in life. He taught me that there is nothing wrong in falling in love all over again as it is not going to decrease my love for Rahul nor for him. In short, he taught me to breathe again and live my life again. And surprisingly I was happy with the new found change in me. 

I was ready to experience life and love. I felt myself being happier and smiling more often and the best part was no one was the reason behind it. It was just me. I finally accepted my life, my flaws, and my past. It was tough in the beginning when Rohan left with those words but I moved past it. I learned to accept things in life and with that my feelings too. I'm human after all, I'm allowed to feel and breakdown, make mistakes and learn. It's all a part of growing and experiencing life and discovering yourself. I'm on that path now and I'm loving this changed me.  

About Rohan, I don't know if I will ever meet him again or not. But if I ever did I just want to thank him for all the things he did for me and maybe if possible I want to cross the walls he has built around him and pull him out of his shell. I want to teach him to live his life again as he did with me.

But for now, I have just left these things to destiny and time. I can't do anything more than to wait. If we are meant to be, destiny will find its way to bring us back together again...

---------------------------------
One of the hardest
lessons in life is
letting go. Whether
it's guilt, anger, love,
loss or betrayal.
Change is never easy.
We fight to hold on.
We fight to let go.
---------------------------------

So that was it!! As promised we really managed to publish this one today. Phew!! Hah

Chapter 20!! Wow never thought would reach this far. We managed mostly because all the love you gave to us. A biggg Thank you to all of you reading this. Also the book completed 8.2k views. Yaay!!

But yeah tell us your thoughts on this one. We really really love to read those. And don't forget to vote if you like it.

Next one coming soon.

Till then, bye bye!

Love, Kritika and Ammu. ❤️