***HAWKS POV***

"It's rare for you to come see me like this." Best Jeanist pointed out as he motioned for me to enter the apartment, making sure to watch me as I wiped my boots.
"How are you feeling, man?" I questioned, taking note of his sluggish movements.

It's an off day...

His slippers barely made a sound as he shuffled across the floor, and I focused on everything except him, wondering if the oranges on the counter were real or fake.
"Much better than before, would you believe?" The lanky man chuckled, fussing over his perfectly combed hair.
"Didn't you ask that old broad over at Yuuei for help?" It was a serious question. From what I had heard, she could kiss away major damage. At least, that was what she did for (Y/N).

(Y/N)...I wish she'd just...talk to me...Just seeing her would be enough...

"Unfortunately, she can't recover something that has already been lost." Best Jeanist sighed, turning to look at me. I didn't miss the way he cringed at the sight of my clothing, which was from a brand that he had mentioned having a dislike for. "Even with a missing lung, we humans can continue to live. I'll probably go public with this soon. There are many people awaiting my reformation."

Damn it all...

"I see!" I was positive the smile on my face was as crooked as an ancient gravestone as I slid my largest feather from my left wing, feeling it harden in my hand. "That's quite unfortunate!"

I have no choice...

The phone call I had received from Dabi earlier that day, whilst I was at my apartment, gathering a few spare clothes and praying that (Y/N) would walk through the door, was the reason why I was where I was. I had to provide them with cold, hard proof that I was one of them. Cold, hard, dead proof. Choosing the denim-clad hero was strictly strategic. He had a high rank, a loving fanbase, and he was already technically out of commission. Despite having my head in the game, I just couldn't understand one thing.

Why...isn't he reacting?!

Best Jeanist just stood there, staring at me as usual, not a shred of fear in his gaze.
"You understand what's going on...right?" I asked, twisting my feather in the air for emphasis.
"Of course. You're going to kill me, right? I expected as much." He responded casually, almost causing me to falter.

"H..how the hell was this expected?" My feet remained firmly planted on the ground, and I waited for something. Anything. At least some kind of resistance.
"You texted me, asking if I was on my own, and whether I was expecting any company today. Your eyes also kept flickering towards that dominant feather of yours, along with your fingers twitching towards it. You really aren't as inconspicuous as you believe you are, Keigo."

It doesn't matter...This has to happen...

"It also helped that I had a very detailed conversation with (Y/N) yesterday. She told me what you all but confessed to, so this doesn't really come as much of a surprise. May I take a wild guess as to what your reasoning is?" The blond placed a hand on his hip, and I clicked my tongue to cover the stutter that wanted to rattle my words.
"Tch, sure, why not?" Shrugging my shoulders, I kept my weapon at the ready, just in case this was all a ploy to distract me.

He took a moment to look me up and down, critiquing every inch of me before deciding to make his guess.
"You've found yourself tangled up with villains. Now, I can't say for sure it is something that has been organised by the commission, or if you have decided to take things into your own hands to gather information, but there's a sound reasoning for what you are doing. I can see that, clear as day."

Tsunagu...Always so good at reading people...

"You sound awfully confident there, BJ." I laughed, the sound of my own voice grating at my ears.
"Yes, and you don't." He pointed out, turning away from me and gazing out of his high rise window. "I understand that we all make sacrifices for our work, Keigo. It's part of the job description. I was a little younger than you are now when I made my first sacrifice." My attention was caught, now, and I just watched him closely, fighting against my urge to strike and get it all over with.

"If you wanna give me some sob story to make me reconsider, then you're wasting both your time and mine." I feigned a yawn, pretending to look at a watch I wasn't wearing.
"Not at all. I'm just reminiscing. I was just a sidekick when I was given control of my first squadron, facing off against some villain group that was threatening a large corporation in Honshu. We had two leads, and I was instructed to investigate the less likely option with two of my comrades..." Best Jeanist brought a hand up to his chest, grasping at the dark material of his sweater. "I led them into a massacre. I was the only one who managed to make it out alive."

Why the fuck is he telling me this?! I don't care..! I can't care right now..!

Even though I was growing much more agitated, I found myself lowering my weapon, my wings drooping along with it.
"A..and? Do you have a point, or are you just trying to make me throw you a pity party?" I scoffed, but the shake in my voice was far stronger than I would have liked it to be as I gulped back my fear.

"Take my little story in whichever way you would like. All I'm saying is that I have made great mistakes in my time as a hero, just like everybody else. Some just seem to stick with you, and when they involve death, then it becomes a guilt that you can never quite recover from..." He turned back to me slowly, reaching his hand higher to grasp the turtled neck of his sweater. It was then that my panic spiked, and I couldn't help but take a step back, raising my feather in defence, rather than offence.

The threads of his outer clothing began to pull apart and slither up the length of his arm like serpents, twisting and curling until they spilled from the tips of his fingers. My eyes grew wide with shock once I took in the sight before me, stinging as the sharp orange light of the sun outside burned directly into my retinas.

I...can't...

As far as I was aware, nobody but the man's mother had ever laid eyes upon Best Jeanist's full face, but there it was, directly in front of me, a calm smile gracing what was once hidden. He was a handsome, gentle looking man, but it was the way those lips turned up at the sides that got to me, drilling into every bone. Why was he smiling?

"Honestly, Keigo, I believe that you're doing the right thing. You had to make a choice, and who better than the man who has very little chance of returning to the only thing they really have to live for?" The blond went on, playing with a strand of wool that frayed from the neck of his sweater. "You have obviously thought this through. I commend you for that. Not many heroes would risk their lives, their careers, their families..."

"I never once risked her!" My shout was released at a volume I had never reached before, my voice cracking like brittle glass at the end. "I..I didn't...I never meant to-"
"The second you decided to take this task on you put her at risk. You know that better than anybody. As much as it pains me to say, Keigo...you are partially at fault for what happened, be it your intention or not. Remaining with (Y/N) was selfish, but I can't blame you for your choices."

Shut up...

My palms were growing sweaty, and there was a strange ringing in my ears that I just couldn't shake. Speaking didn't seem possible in that moment, so I just let him keep going, struggling to hear him over the shrill pitch inside my head.
"I'm sure you already know that your martyrdom comes with great consequences. You have seen that first hand, and I can guarantee there will be more to come. Are you prepared to live with that? I know you have a strong constitution, but guilt is an incurable infection. It festers. Turns septic. Are you sure you can handle it?"

I was well aware that it was something far beyond my capability. It rarely showed, but I was a sensitive man. If I could have turned back the clock and refused the request of infiltrating the league I would have done so in a heartbeat, but looking at where I was standing now, there was only one path forward. Straight down.

"Say wha..whatever you want! I'm still...still going to-"
"Kill me. Yes, we've been over that already. Aren't I entitled to a few last words before that?" Best Jeanist waved me off as though we were just having a casual conversation, wetting his lips as I cowered before him. "I wish I could say that you will be praised for your efforts, but it doesn't work like that. Sacrificing less for more won't compute with the average way of thinking. People will still view you as a horrible person. I, however, see you as the truest of heroes."

Please...just stop...

"Bullshit...Cut it out already..." My breaths were bordering on hyperventilation, the urge to just break down and abandon my task almost overpowering. The man began to walk towards me, and I began to trip and stumble backwards.
"You're sullying yourself to ensure the safety of hundreds, thousands, if not millions of people, Keigo. A hefty price to pay, but that is what makes you a true hero. I'm proud of you. I take back any past reservations about your capability."

There was that smile again. There was no way he could have been at peace with it all. It was impossible, and completely unnerving.
"Are you done yet? I'm sick of hearing you prattle on about meaningless shit..." I hissed, knowing that if it went on any longer I would give in. I didn't want to even hurt him, let alone kill him. He had done so much for me, for (Y/N), but he was the easiest choice. There was very little hope for him returning to the hero world, and he was the easiest to access. Alone and unwilling to fight back.

I don't think I can do this...

"It's a lovely view, don't you agree..? Befitting as a final glance at the world." Best Jeanist's smile softened before he turned back to me, opening his arms as some kind of sick invitation. "I suppose I leave the rest up to you."

I can't...

"Don't worry, Keigo..."

I won't...

"...I promise you..."

I'm gonna be sick...

"...that I will care for your little one until you are reunited..."

It happened before I could even realise what I was doing, though it finally hit me once I realised I was no longer holding my weaponised feather. I knew it was a mistake, to turn around, but I had to. My eyes nearly bulged right out of my head when I first saw the blood, seeping across the ground towards my feet. The blood wasn't what sent my spiralling though. No, not at all.

It was that damned smile, still painted across Best Jeanist's face.

His eyes were still open, the colour fading quickly, unlike the blade of red that protruded from his torso, where I had struck him. My legs gave way, sending me crashing to the floor, uncaring that my pants were soaking up the thick discharge of his fatal wound. My terror manifested as acidic throw up, spilling from my mouth and mixing with the blood. The entire apartment stank of death.

The only thing that I was aware of was the fact that my face was wet, though I couldn't tell if it was due to tears, sweat, vomit or blood at that point. I knew that I had to get a move on, to clean up the mess I had made and do what needed to be done, but I needed a minute. If I wasn't thinking straight, then I would make a mistake. I would leave evidence.

Nobody can know...Especially not her...This is all...to keep her safe...

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***^pseudo_eternity is a god, pass it on.

I haven't finished the animatic for this chapter yet, but a tiny sneak preview is in my 'shitty wips' story highlights on my Instagram (wombat.squid).

It should be finished within the next month or so...hopefully.

Next time: What's in the bag?***