Thinking for myself was something I hadn't done for a long time. It was both a scary and exhilarating feeling. My heart pounded with each step I took towards the phone in the small studio kitchen. Though there was indeed a working phone in my office I could use, this was something I wanted everyone in the room to hear. 

Suddenly, I locked eyes with them. Paul and John, the poor things, like a pair of petrified deer caught in the headlights. They both stood side by side, staring at me with wide, uncertain eyes. This was the first real contact I had made with Paul since I had caught him in the act with Jane, and I hadn't seen John since I had ran off after our kiss. Needless to say, there was an awkward tension between the three of us. But then, when was there not?

Somehow, in spite of everything, I was able to flash a brief smile at them before I stretched the long cord and placed the receiver to my ear. My stomach did small jumps as I heard the ring on the other end. I glanced anxiously down at my feet. When I looked back up, I saw Paul right in front of me on the verge of a breakdown.

"Gail, about the other day, I really didn't want you to find out that wa--" 

"It's fine, Paul." I interrupted, tepidly dismissing him. 

"No, I mean it, Gail. I haven't gotten a bloody wink of sleep since that day. All I've been able to think about is how badly I fucked things up with someone who means the goddamn world to me..."

"I said it's fine, Paul." I insisted tersely. The truth was that I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't at a stage where I could forgive him yet. Even if I could plainly see the fervid remorse in his dark doe eyes. 

"Who are you on the phone with, love?" John asked, approaching me with concern.

Looking them both dead in the eye, I simply replied, "My father..."

At that, John and Paul froze, perturbed at the implications. We all fleetingly exchanged a wary look before he finally picked up.

"H-hey Dad," I began hesitantly. "There's something I have to tell you..." 

"What? What is it, honey?" he coaxed.

"Well," I bit my lip, quickly deciding how I wanted to preface this. By now, several people were gathering around, including George and Ringo. But my sights were set on John and Paul. 

"There comes a time when you need to know when to walk away. And sure, it might hurt in the moment, but in the end it's what's best for everyone involved..." my eyes stared intently into theirs, making sure they got the message.

"What are you saying, Gail?" my dad asked uneasily. 

"I want to be a writer. I'm quitting my secretary job at EMI. I landed a paid intern position at Reed Publishing..." I stated.

All at once, the entire room reacted; everyone's jaws simultaneously fell to the floor in shock. Ringo's eyes popped out of his head in confusion. George seemed mightily impressed as a chuckle and an expletive escaped his lips. Paul and John, alas, looked the most shattered by the news as they gasped loudly and broke out into a pained sweat. I, myself, was equally flabbergasted and dumbfounded at the words that just came out of my mouth. 

"WHAT!!??" my dad yowled. I almost chuckled; at least this time I was able to premeditate my father's reaction.

"YOU SELFISH BITCH!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE THROWING AWAY!?!? YOU WON'T LAST A SINGLE DAY OUT THERE, NOT ONE DAY, I TELL YOU!!"

"Dad, the way you address me is disrespectful and inappropriate. I'm your daughter and I'm an adult. This is my dream and, if you love me, the least you could do is accept it, if not support it..." I explained calmly.

"WHY WOULD I SUPPORT YOUR DEAD-END DREAMS!? I'M YOUR FATHER AND I KNOW BEST, SO STOP PRICKING AROUND AND BE A GOOD LASS FOR ONCE..."

"Just let me take this chance, Dad. I promise, I'll be alright..." I replied, trying to get through to the old bloke who I knew was just scared for me.

I sensed he was starting to relax, "Listen Gail, I don't know what boneheaded ideas those goddamn Beatles are putting into your hea--"

Now it was my turn to snap, "You leave the goddamn Beatles out of this! If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have had the courage to stand up for myself! They taught me how real men are supposed to act! Sure, they might not be perfect -- they mess up sometimes, and so do I -- but you, Dad, you'll never be half the man each of them are!"

"ABIGAIL GENEVIEVE GREENE, I SWEAR, YOU'VE LOST YOUR BLOODY MIND IN LONDON! COME BACK HOME, THIS INSTANT!!!" my dad roared.

"No," I firmly asserted. 

"No..!?" my dad repeated in disbelief. 

"I'm done letting you control me, Dad. I'm doing what my heart tells me for once. That's what mum would have wanted..." I expressed solemnly.

"GAIL, ENOUGH OF THESE OUTRAGEOUS NOTIONS! YOU'RE A LADY, YOU MUST DO AS YOU'RE TOLD..." he barked. 

"Bye, Dad. That's all I wanted to tell you..." And with that, I hung up, heaving a deep sigh of relief. Afterward, there was a momentary hush that filled the room.

George was the first to break the silence with a slow clap. "Woo-hoo! Way to go, Greene!" he cheered.

"Well, Gail, I would have preferred you breaking this news to me in a more direct way but...I guess this works..." Brian said with a dismayed shrug.

Paul, looking visibly panicked, frantically ran up to me. "Gail, if what happened between us is the reason you're leaving..." his voice was shaky and distraught. "God, I'll never forgive myself!" he began to tear up. 

My heart dropped at the sight of him and my face softened. I was supposed to be mad at him and yet he was giving me this devastated look, as if he were a kicked puppy. 

"That's not why I'm quitting," I assured him. "I'm not doing this to get back at you or spite you, I'm doing this for me..." I managed to smile reassuringly at him. 

Reluctantly, Paul nodded. Though he still looked upset, I could tell he understood. As he stepped aside, I spotted John sitting still at the edge of a speaker. He was looking downward with a dark, almost pensive expression. Finally, his eyes met mine. 

"So, you're really leaving me, huh?" John chuckled dejectedly, smiling an aching smile as he slowly stood up. 

The words he spoke sent a shooting pain through my pulses. "I have to..." I replied halfheartedly.

"I don't know what to say, Abbie, heh, this is all happening so fast..." John grimaced as he rubbed the back of his neck, attempting to maintain his composure.

"I know, but it's something that I need to do, an option I need to explore for myself. I can't fully explain it, but in my heart I know that it's right..." I responded, trying to remain optimistic.

John snorted, "Well, if there's one good thing that came out of this, it's seeing you tell your dad off like a badass..." his eyes sparkled just a touch as he smirked. 

To that, I tittered, a bit stunned at myself. 

"I didn't even know you had it in you!" he added in amazement. 

"Neither did I..." I confessed.

***

I packed all my things in a daze as I prepared to vacate the premises. A part of me was in denial that all of this was actually happening. Though I was certainly excited to begin a new chapter in my life, I couldn't help but privately lament what I would be leaving behind. 

Brian was the first to receive me when I came out of the office. His eyes were stern, as they tended to be, but his smile was genuine. 

"So, you've been with us about 3 years..." he remarked.

I nodded solemnly, "Indeed..."

"Well, we've enjoyed having you every moment of it..." Brian expressed sincerely.

I gazed at him gratefully, "Thank you, sir! My experience here has been nothing short of incredible! This opportunity meant a lot to me and through it all you've treated me with the utmost respect and dignity. I'll never forget that moving forward..."

Brian beamed, sharply inclining his chin. "It was a pleasure, Gail..."

After he left, I felt content for a brief moment. Alas, it all came to a jolting halt. I winced slightly, knowing I needed to massively brace myself for what I was about to undergo. The time had come, for once and for all, to say goodbye to the boys.

***

First, I stopped by one of the rooms in the studio where Paul was writing and recording privately. Taking a cautious peek inside, I saw him absentmindedly strumming his guitar with a distant look on his face.

I sighed. Things with Paul were still complicated, but I knew I couldn't leave without bidding him a proper farewell. His head suddenly jerked up as he sensed my dainty footsteps. He turned to face me, his eyes fleetingly wide, and then his expression softened as his lips formed a faint smile. 

"Hey," I acknowledged him, an unidentifiable twinge in my voice. 

Paul's eyes darted down as he bit his lip. He appeared to be seriously contemplating something, as if he were still trying to wrap his head around everything that was transpiring. 

"Hey..." he murmured dismally. 

"I just came to say goodbye..." I explained huskily, attempting to swallow the lump in my throat.

"You know, I meant what I said..." Paul expressed in a strangely urgent tone. 

My eyes widened as I looked up at him in confusion.

"I don't want to live a life without you in it..." he clarified as we locked eyes and his voice broke.

Poor Paul. I found myself thinking. All this time, he had been trying desperately to prevent this very thing from happening. He didn't want someone who would leave him like Jane always did. But this deathly fear of losing me ended up being the main thing that drove me away. 

Holding back tears, I instinctively placed my hand on his. "You won't," I reassured him. "I'll be back someday, when I have everything figured out..."

"Someday soon, I hope?" he looked expectantly up at me with his trembling puppy dog eyes. 

I chuckled softly at the sight, "We'll see..." 

With that, we both smiled and embraced each other tenderly. 

***

Next, I went over to where George and Ringo were seated by the drum set. George immediately pulled me in for a hug, upon seeing me, beaming radiantly. 

"Gail, I'm so proud of you!" he bit his lip as he looked at me and smiled meekly.

I could barely respond, as I was still feeling stupefied, so I just crinkled my face with heartfelt appreciation and returned the tight hug. If it wasn't for George, I wouldn't have gotten the push I needed to get over my fears. I would always be eternally thankful for the simple but meaningful kinship I had with him.

"Zak's gonna be lost without his favorite babysitter!" Ringo remarked with a sorrowful grin.

I laughed at what I assume was a joke and pulled him in for our own hug. "Bye, Ringo!"

"Bye, dear..." he replied warmly. 

"And cheers to you, George," I said, turning back towards him. "Thank you for everything!"

George nodded stoically, "It was no problem..."

"It's been amazing, Gail. Do write to us, won't you?" Ringo glimmered.

"Of course!" I chuckled. 

Man, all this felt so nice. But virtually nothing could emotionally or mentally prepare me for my final adieu...

***

John was just in the next room. My heart was fluttering out of control and I almost contemplated fleeing again. Alas, hard as it may be, I had to do what I had to do. 

He immediately noticed me coming in, as per usual, smiling a heart-rending smile. 

"So, you're gonna be a big-shot writer, eh?" he smirked, chortling softly.

I simpered, "Something like that..."

"Heh, well knock 'em dead, love! I'm sure there's a fuckin' masterpiece just waiting to bleed out 'yer little fingers!" he heartened brightly. 

I beamed. John had encouraged me to follow my writing dreams from the beginning; I wondered if he slightly regretted it now.

"You're gonna do great, Abbie..." John expressed in a gentler tone.

I gazed attentively at him, my eyes never leaving his unique features. "Well, you know, John, I wouldn't be taking this step if it wasn't for you. You showed me that I can aspire to be whatever I want, no matter how crazy. I mean, you're living proof!" I gestured to him enthusiastically.

John shook his head briskly, "Ah, I'm no big-shot. You're gonna end up going way farther than me..."

"Well, I have you to thank for that..." I reflected. 

"Heh, yeah, a lot of good my words did! Now you're off and bloody bolting out the door! Chasing your dreams straight out of me life!" he bemoaned in frustration.

We both paused, taking in the reality of the situation. 

I took a few measurable steps towards him, "John, you know this isn't goodbye, right? I mean, it is goodbye but...not forever..."

"It might as well be," John croaked. "Every minute I'm without you feels like a fuckin' eternity..."

I snickered, "Oh, come on. We both know I was a total nuisance most of the time!"

"Well, that's true..." John nodded and half-smiled. As he nodded, however, his face quickly dropped as the tears began to fall down his cheeks. He hastily rubbed his eye, "Goddamnit..."

My eyes widened in panic, "John, no! What are you doing!?"

"Damnit, I'm acting like Paulie. Abbie, please don't leave me..." John begged in despair.

"A-haw, look at 'ol Johnny going soft..." I chuckled sadly as I wiped a tear from his face. 

John narrowed his eyes and grinned, "You're such a pain in my ass, you know that..?"

I looked deeply into his eyes, "John, I..."

His eyes widened like a child, eagerly awaiting what I was about to say. I know what I wanted to say. I wanted to say that I loved the way he performed, the way his emotions poured into every song he sang. I loved the fact that, even though he was closed off, he still wore his heart on his sleeve. I loved... I...

"I...I know," I bleated weakly. In a rush, I found myself squeezing him with all of my might, the warmth of his body against mine undoing me into an emotional frenzy. 

"Goodbye, John..." I spoke through the tightness in my throat. 

"Until next time, Abbie," he corrected me. "Whenever that is..."

***

Everything was all set up. This was it. Everyone was all lined up in a row to observe my departure. I looked out to the bleakly-faced horde of people staring back at me.

"Well, it's been real, guys. I'll remember you all fondly as I embark on my future endeavors..." I stated bittersweetly. "I guess I'll just be heading out now..."

"Don't go Gail, we'll miss you!" Ringo cried. 

"...Damnit, Ringo! I was doing so well!" I whimpered as I sniffled and wiped my eye miserably. 

As soon as one tear fell, I completely lost it. I broke down and started sobbing hysterically. I had tried so hard to be strong all this time, so as to make my goodbyes less painful for everyone. Alas, I knew it was no use. Everyone quickly gathered around to give me a hearty group hug. 

 After I calmed down a bit, I knew it was time. I took one last scan of the crowd. Neil, Mal, Mr. Smith, Mr. Martin, Brian, Ringo, George, Paul and John.

The latter two walked me out the door, as sullen and teary-eyed as ever. I gave Paul a quick final hug to which he responded compassionately. I then clutched onto John again, wishing desolately that I didn't have to let go. 

"That song I told you I wrote is on the new album," he whispered sweetly in my ear. "It's not Girl, you'll know it when you hear it..."

I nodded and gave them both an anxious concluding smile as I proceeded to step across Abbey Road. I always found it funny that the road had my name and, interestingly enough, it would be the title of an amazing Beatles record down the line. It wouldn't be the last time I would see the boys -- the men -- but it would be the last time they saw me as they knew me in this moment. I was no longer Gail, the frail soul, the girl merely torn between two Beatles.

Paul and John looked at each other tearfully, holding each other for support. 

"Well, she's got a ticket to ride now, Macca..." John remarked with a wry smile. 

"That she does, John, that she does..." Paul replied with a soft chuckle. 

***

As I walked away, I couldn't help but wonder for a brief moment if I truly was a bitch for leaving; perhaps I was being selfish. But I knew I needed to go my own way in order to find myself.  All my life, I was scared to stand up to my father. I was scared to be my own person. Now, I could finally live my life on my own terms, free as a bird, without anyone dissuading me or hovering over my shoulder. 

I thought about Paul. In a way, I was leaving because of him; his actions deeply scarred me and I knew seeing him with Jane would be too much to bear. The atmosphere at the studio was becoming increasingly toxic. If I had stayed any longer, I most likely would have come between the sacred partnership of John and Paul. And worse, I would have come between John and Cynthia. 

When it came to John, at first, I wasn't entirely sure what everyone saw in him. He struck me as just a plain jerk, unaffected, uncaring towards the feelings of others. But through it all, even in his darkest, most unspeakable moments, I saw how much Paul loved him, how much Cynthia loved him, and I knew it all had to be for a reason.

When the new album finally came out, I instantly knew the song John had been referring to. It was called In My Life, and I may have bawled uncontrollably for days on end after listening to it. It was easily the most beautiful song I had ever heard. No matter what happened, no matter where I ended up in the future, I knew I was blessed to have been in the presence of all four Beatles. Especially John Lennon.  

***

NOTE: AAAAAAUUUUUGHHHIEJPQHRIOEJETOFOIHW!!! THIS CHAPTER WAS SO HARD TO WRITE! ESPECIALLY THE JOHN PARTS, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS! HOPEFULLY THIS IS STILL A SATISFYINGLY EMOTIONAL CONCLUSION, THOUGH. I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. THIS IS SO BIZARRE BECAUSE I RARELY FINISH ANYTHING I WRITE.

Anyway, stay tuned for the epilogue! It's coming right up next! ;)