Paul was being less receptive, taking fewer of my calls and was becoming distant. However, he did manage to schedule a brunch for the two of us. The weather was officially chilly now. From where I sat, I watched as the crisp autumn breeze blew the fallen leaves around.

"I'm so glad you've stood by me, Gail! I know it's a lot to ask but it would really make me happy if you'd put those writing dreams to rest..." Paul prattled to me.

"Mhm," I mumbled, not really paying attention. My mind kept wandering back to the moment when I ALMOST FUCKING KISSED JOHN.

"I mean, there's no career for you in that anyway. You'll be much happier living with me on the farm, just the two of us! Doesn't that sound like the nicest thing!?" Paul beamed, mostly to himself.

"Uh-huh," I answered weakly; I knew the drill by now. 

The truth was that Paul and writing, two things that meant so goddamn much to me a few days ago, were the furthest thing from my mind at this moment. After our intimate encounter while taking care of Zak, I had avoided John more than ever. There was but one instance in which we interacted in this past week, an instance I apprehensively kept flashing back to.

"Abbie, Abbie! I have something I wanna show you!" John ran over to me in excitement.

My eyes widened and I began to fidget anxiously, "Um, John, can this wait..?"

"No, it can't wait! I was struggling with a writer's block, but then I thought of you and everything came to me...came over me, I should say. I wrote you a song -- it's beautiful, Abbie, and I want you to hear it!"

"John..." I persisted, my voice wavering. 

Just then, Paul came through the door. "You ready, darling..?" he hummed cheerfully. 

I nodded, "Yes, I'm ready Paul..." I let Paul lock his arm in mine and he swept me away.

As we were almost out the door, I looked back at John pitifully. His eyes bored intensely into mine, stewing with a stark mixture of hurt and anger, a look and a combination that frightened me. 

"Are you alright, love? You seem distracted..." 

Paul's soft yet stern voice brought me back to reality. I realized I had just been staring out into space the whole time, pushing the food around my plate. I probably wasn't being great company. 

I shook my head, trying to will my worries away. I looked up at him, shame-faced. "I'm fine, sorry..." 

"Want to get some fresh air?" he offered tenderly. 

Gratefully, I nodded. Taking in the fresh air did help some, but every time I started to calm down, a thought or a memory of John would pop peskily into my head. He sure did have a way of messing things up. Messy like his hair...his hair really needed to be cut, it was always covering those piercing, golden-brown eyes of his. Man, did those eyes always know how to melt me into a puddl -- I stopped myself. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?

As I awkwardly face-palmed in the middle of our stroll, I turned to face Paul. His eyes gazed deeply and solemnly into mine. He looked as if he wanted desperately to tell me something but he couldn't find the words. He quickly looked away and bit his lip guiltily. 

Saying nothing, I continued to walk beside him, staring at him intently. 

"Gail...there's something you should know..." he began hesitantly. 

"Yes, Paul..?" I gently prompted him.

He then suddenly turned away and groaned in agony, his hands tightly pressed against his face. 

"What? What is it, Paul?" I asked as my hand innocently grazed his arm in concern.

At the feeling of my touch, Paul uneasily peeked an eye at me. He then abruptly switched gears and plastered an exaggerated smile on his face, eagerly taking my hands and facing me.

"Gail, I care deeply about you, you know that right?" he assured me, his tone confident and sincere.

I did know. I nodded, "Yes, Paul..."

"And everything I say or do...I do it because deep down I'm bloody terrified of losing you," he continued as his voice broke and his facade began to fade, his expression becoming dark and wary. "I mean, I already almost lost you once before..."

"Wait, what!?" I shrieked. Which time was he referring to?

"That day, when we were all stripped down in the park, the same day your imbecile beau broke up with you. Eppy was real close to releasing you that day, but we all begged him not to let you go. Especially John, he was close to crying himself..." Paul explained, stating the last part rather nonchalantly. 

My stomach dropped. I could hardly believe what was hearing. Brian was right. The boys did care about me. John genuinely cared about me.

Paul grasped my hand tighter, "I really want to make this work. I don't want to live a life without you in it..."

I looked up at him with tears forming in the corners of my eyes. Paul was fully aware that I was slipping away. He knew he was losing me, and not just to my writing aspirations. I knew I was losing Paul, too, and yet we both were still trying so desperately hard to hang on the thread that tied us in the first place. 

A sudden realization then hit me, "I don't want to live a life without you, either..."

Paul's sparkling doe eyes expanded and my heart quickened. He hungrily pulled me in for a passionate and succulent kiss. All at once, everything and every thought seemed to disappear as I felt my feet leave the ground and I floated in a heavenly bliss. It was carnal. It was fervent. It felt like it was the kiss to end all kisses. Finally, he released me and we both looked emotionally into each other's eyes. 

A touch of a smirk graced Paul's features, "Come on, let's head on back!"

***

Still flushed and excited from Paul's overpowering show of affections, I stepped into the studio in a daze. I immediately noticed the room was unusually dark and eerily quiet. Suddenly, I felt a great sense of unease overcome me. 

"You sure were out a while, eh?" his voice cut into my trance coldly yet casually.

I winced. Of course John was just coolly waiting for me to get back. 

"What do you want, John?" I asked sternly.

"Oh, I'm surprised you even asked!" John exclaimed bitingly, pacing the floor. "Considering everything in the whole entire bloody goddamn universe has to revolve around you!"

I scoffed a bit and chuckled bitterly, "Oh, really!? Revolve around me? You know, maybe you oughta look in the mirror sometime, and not just because you dreadfully need a haircut..." I smirked and leaned towards him, narrowing my eyes.

John fumed and stormed away from me, "Ugh, I swear! You're just like him!! You stand there quietly in the corner judging people and picking everybody apart! God, maybe you two are perfect for each other!"

I shrugged helplessly, "Gosh, John. What is it about me being happy that threatens you so much..?"

John continued to pace frantically and looked to be on the brink of insanity, "AGHH, you don't get it! You still don't fucking get it! You know, if only stupid George had asked me 'truth or dare,' oh, the things I would've dared to say and do to you..." he mindlessly inched towards me, the space between us quickly closing. 

"John...what's with you!? You're scaring me..." I said shakily.

Suddenly, John realized how he was coming across and he calmed down a bit. There was a long, disquieting pause. 

"Abbie, you asked me what I wanted..." he began calmly. 

I bit my lip and nodded slightly, anxious for him to continue.  

"Ditch Macca. Be with me." he blankly ordered. 

I put my hands on my hips and raised my eyebrow in offense, "...Don't I get a say in this?"

"No," he replied.

"Well, why not?" I asked.

"How can I trust you to make the right choice when you've just been doing what your daddy tells you all your life!?" he retorted angrily.

"Excuse me..!?" I cried out defensively.

"You heard me," John replied simply.

"How can you say those things to me!? You're such a child, John Lennon!" I screamed, tears running down my face.

John shook his head in bitter amusement, "I don't see how you have any room to call me a child..."

My hands tightened into fists as I leaned towards him, "I love Paul, and we're going to build a really happy life together..." I emphasized the word love, knowing it would get to him.

"He's not gonna leave Jane..." John remarked solemnly.

"How the hell do you know!? And what business do you have saying anything!?" I bit back.

"I fucking know my best friend, Abbie! Do you really think he sees you as anything more than just a prize to show off!? It's all a competition to him and he's just happy he's winning!"

These words, flying thoughtlessly off of John's tongue, brutally wounded me. My heart felt like it was being stabbed multiple times with a hammer. 

"You don't mean these things," I sobbed softly. "You're only saying them because you're hurt, hurt that I rejected you!" 

John laughed airily, "Oh-ho, rejected me!? Really?" he leaned over, face-to-face with me, lowering his voice. "'Cuz when I look in your eyes, I don't see rejection..."

I hesitated for a brief second but I held my ground, staring incredulously into his merciless eyes. "You have a wife and kid, John, do you ever even think of them!? Cynthia doesn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve you! We both know this is all just a game and pretty soon you'll be sick of playing it!"

"Oh, you fucking think you know it all, don't you Abbie!? You think you've gotten to the bottom of all my feelings and intentions! Well, you're right! I don't mean half the shit I say when I'm yelling at you and I am fucking hurt! But this most certainly isn't a game to me..." he faltered as his face trembled and the tears began to flow. "Abbie, don't you see!? I'm madly in love with you!!!"

"You say that to every bird you shag!!" I countered. "You don't think I've noticed the way you've wooed every woman who's stepped into this studio and swept them off their feet? You tell them all the right things until you get bored of them and then you cast them aside! As if they never existed! I'm not an idiot, John, I know that's what's happening here!"

"We already went over this, Abbie, you're DIFFERENT!" John seethed, clearly exasperated from our conversation.

You're different. Such a cliche line. 

Yet why did I believe him when he said it?

***

"I'd like to perform a song I wrote!" John stated collectedly with a hint of enthusiasm.

Mr. Martin turned around and looked blankly at him. "Alright, John. Let's hear it!" 

"I thought you'd never ask..." John said with a small, mischievous smile. He eyed pointedly in my direction, making sure I was listening. "I wrote this song about a girl. Not just any girl, but she knows this, and she loves to throw it in me face..."

With that subtle introduction out of the way, he began to strum his guitar, his boyish smirk quickly turning to a pained grimace. 

Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the girl who came to stay?
She's the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry
Still, you don't regret a single day

Ah, girl, girl, girl

When I think of all the times I tried so hard to leave her
She will turn to me and start to cry
And she promises the earth to me and I believe her
After all this time I don't know why

Ah, girl, girl, girl

She's the kind of girl who puts you down
When friends are there,
You feel a fool
When you say she's looking good
She acts as if it's understood.
She's cool, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ah, girl, girl, girl

Was she told when she was young that pain would lead to pleasure?
Did she understand it when they said
That a man must break his back to earn his day of leisure?
Will she still believe it when he's dead?

Ah, girl, girl, girl  

Everyone in the room clapped, thoroughly impressed with his work. Knowingly, I walked over towards to him, my hands on my hips.

I raised my eyebrow, "More vague song lyrics?"

John simply shrugged in response, "Hm." 

He then walked away with everyone else, leaving just me and George in the room.

"Don't pay him too much mind..." George assured me.

"I don't," I replied, smiling weakly. "Hey, have you seen Paul?"

George shook his head, "Not since this morning, no. You can try one of the spare rooms, he could be rehearsing..."

I smiled a bit more brightly, "Thanks!" After such a long, emotionally agonizing day, I couldn't wait to just forget about everything and lay my tired head on Paul's chest.

***

I checked room after room. I was beginning to worry that maybe something had happened to him. I then heard strange noises behind one of the closed doors. Slowly, I slid the door open, peering in cautiously.

"Oh, you're so good to me, Jane..." I heard Paul moan. 

Jane. Did I fucking hear that right!? To my utter horror, I heard her silky voice respond.

"I know exactly what you like, Paul..." she cooed. 

In a mindless rage, I rammed the door open. My heart must've skipped a million beats as I witnessed my greatest fear come to fruition.

I tried to scream, but my voice wasn't coming to me. I just stood there, pale white, stammering in shock. I locked eyes with Jane. She gave me the same stern look she had given me earlier but this time with a hint of a smug smile. This smile instantly told me she knew what was going on, she knew all along, and she didn't intend to let it go any further. 

Paul looked unbearably ashamed, like he had been caught with his own hand down his pants instead of Jane's, his face red and breaking into a profuse sweat. "Gail, I can explain, I -"

"Save it!" I screeched, finally finding my voice. "Paul, I gave my heart to you! I trusted you! How fucking could you!?" 

Paul was stricken with panic, "Gail, please, just listen to me for one moment! Jane came back from her movie, one thing led to another, I wanted to tell you this was going on but I didn't know how...I didn't want to lose you..."

I leaned in closer, my voice grave and hoarse. "Well, now you have..."

***

NOTE: Ahem, so...PLEASE DON'T RAGE QUIT ON ME!!!!!!!!! ;_____; The story isn't over yet, I swear!!! Now can you see why I put this chapter off for so long!? I had it planned since the beginning and I knew it wouldn't be pretty. I hope this broke your heart to read just as much as it broke my heart to write because that means you're invested! But don't worry, don't give up hope on our boys just yet! It'll all work itself out in due time! Again, I'm sorry for any pain or grief this might've caused you... :)

P.S. You'll notice that I make several callbacks to previous chapters in this. See if you can spot them all! ;)