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literally what the fuck?? thank you guys wha-
so uh
anyway

At this point, you have specific songs to play whenever certain people walk in. For example, Kaminari. He practically had a heart attack when you blasted Fuck You (Very Much) the other day. He hasn't come back since.

Kacchan almost blew your face off when you played Firework when he came in yesterday but that's a story for another time.

You're trying to find an appropriate song for Shinsou (you've been trying your best to gradually tone down the caffeine content in his drinks so he doesn't notice because he's too snazzy to die) when the bell chimes to tell you that, as insane as it sounds, someone just came in. You straighten up, see the UA uniform and instantly flop again.

"Yo. What up, I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read." You wave.

A very shiny boi nods and says, "I see, mon ami. That may be a problem for you. You really should learn, non?"

"Oh shit French-" You scree and duck behind the counter. You haven't spoken a word of French since the first year of middle school and you never want to again. Nothing against the language or country or anything, it's just that French lessons fucking suck.

"... May we order?" Oh, that must be the other one. He has, like, six arms or something so that's pretty damn cool.

"Sure," you say, without getting up.

"Then I'll have some profiteroles, please."

"A cup of rose tea et un croissant please, mademoiselle."

You hop up and head for the high-as-fuck shelves. Literally no one's ever ordered rose tea so you know for sure you have it in stock. "Seguro, seguro. Grab a seat, chamacos." If he's gonna flex his language, so are you.
<Sure, sure... kids.>

They head off to some random table while you scale the shelves like a frigging chimpanzee or some shit. Radioactive spiders ain't got nothing on you.

"Voy a reír, voy a bailar, vivir mi vida, la la la lá..." You quietly sing, now brewing the tea and grabbing the food they ordered. They're done soon enough, and you jump over the counter to bring the tray over to the kiddly diddlies who appear to be having a staring contest. Huh, it's almost like they don't hang out at all and were only picked because the author is running out of characters to yeet in here and made her non-bnha-fan friend choose from the tiny list she has left. Almost.

"Aquí is your food," you say with a huge ass smile.

"Gracias por esto, señorita."
<Thank you for this, Miss.>

"De nada- wait." You stare at the guy with the many arms. Then you shrug. "Seems legit. Enjoy your food."

And thus, you skedaddle.

"Vive la France!" Sparkly boyo shouts.

You resist the urge to flip him off, instead settling for: "Jodete, perra."
<Fuck you, bitch.>

"Eso es grosero." He answers in fucking Spanish.
<That's rude.>

"What?"

"What?" He smiles.

You shake your head. "... I'm too sober for this shit."

"You're underage," Arms says.

"And?"

"... Fair."

They go back to eating their food while you grab the iPod. Scrolling through songs, you eventually find the perfect one. You set it on loop before moving the little circle thing forward to start further into the song.

"... GAY OR EUROPEAN? SO MANY SHADES OF GREY. DEPENDING ON THE TIME OF DAY THE FRENCH GO EITHER WAY..."

French Fry stares at you. You finger gun back.

"... Merci for the food. I shall take my leave now. Au revoir!" And he nyooms.

The other guy finishes up pretty soon after that, and returns the plates and the mug to the counter like a lil sweetheart. "Thank you very much, Captain."

"Y/n's fine," you wave your hand, taking the pile over to the sink. "What's your name, by the way? Not tryinga sound creepy. I just know a bunch of UA kids sooo."

"I've heard. My name is Shoji; it's nice to meet you."

"Same here," you grin, going back over to the counter. "Want anything else, orrrrrr...?"

"No thank you. I have to be going now," Octoman says.

"No worries. See ya later, Shoji," you say, waving as he leaves. You vaguely remember that neither of them paid.

Oh well.