"You're my downfall,
You're my muse,
My worst distraction,
My rythm and blues."

Ryan Allen

During the entire swimming date I freaked out over how gentle and cliche Jack was behaving himself.

The boy dragged me to every possible slide as we went together and laughed throughout the journey, we also went to the hot tub for some relaxation and once we were simply swimming in the pools again, our usual long conversations bubbled up.

I never enjoyed my time so much with anyone else besides my best friend Matthew. Jack was easy going and could talk passionately about everything for hours. I liked the way he took care of me and looked out, caring for me in a way nobody else did.

I never wanted this date to end.

But as you may now, to all the good things comes an end..

"So.." Jack broke the silence as we stood in front of my house. "When do I see you again?" He asked me, feeling the atmosphere chance in disappointment.

"Soon.. I promise.." I smiled shy. "But Matty can't know about this, Jack.."

All my senses were on edge, thinking about how Matthew might find out and react on this.

I could make up many different scenario's, but I bet it won't be good.

"That's fine, but can I ask why not? I'm not friends with him anymore which means we both mind our own business now, so what is the problem?" He tilted his head, watching me with his curious eyes.

"Look.. There is something with Matt.. I can't tell, but he has troubles with some things and I know this will be one of them.. I don't want to hurt him furthermore and I can't do this to him.. You know what happened to Rain, Matthew went to hell and back.." I explained, breathing out as I mentally prayed that Matthew will be okay.

That his disorder didn't took the best of him.

"You are really a good best friend for him Ry.. I'm happy he found someone like you after me.." He laughed emotionless. "Damn, I was such a dick to him.." He murmured, shaking his head. "But it's too late to set things straight now. Don't worry about it Ryan, I won't tell him anything about us hanging out" He told me and nodded.

I took his soft hands in mine and smiled at him, hoping that would ease him and make him feel last guilty about the past.

"Can I ask something too?" I asked,

"You're already asking.." He laughed soft, making me laugh along with him.

"Matty told me you two fell apart when he got together with Rain.. Were you really homophobic? I just find it weird.. Since we are.. You know.. Kinda.. Dating..?" I asked, feeling my heart beat anxiously faster.

Going on dates meant dating right?! Oh my.. I'm making a complete fool out of myself.

"I was.." He put his head down in shame, watching the ground. "I was liking boys myself and I didn't know how to handle it, I pushed it away and when I found out about Matt.. I took my anger out on him. I was so confused and in denial back then. But I promise you Ry, I'm not like that.." He whispered, looking up with his big eyes in mine again.

Something inside of me snapped and it made me believe him.

"Okay.. But one day you should apologize to what you did to Matt.. He was your best friend and trusted you, thought you wouldn't mind.. If he knows about this, he might understand.." I smiled soft, hoping that one day we could all go past this.

"You're right.. And I will.. I just don't know when and how.." He told me.

That was the moment that our late night moonlight shone right on Jack's precious face, giving me a better view on his gorgeous features.

His blue, almost indigo, eyes glistened within the light as it opened his warm soul to me. Some of his honey colored strands fell over his eyes which gave me the urge to push them away for him so I could stare further into his storytelling eyes. The smile that played along his full lips, took my attention the most; I wanted to kiss those lips even though I had no idea where all these thoughts and feelings came from.

"Text me.. Okay?" Jack spoke up after our stare competition, stepped closer to me which caused my heart to leap out of my chest.

How was it even possible to feel all those things? Was it normal?

"Thank you for today.." I blushed as I looked up in his eyes, drowning in the colors. "I really appreciate it and enjoyed my time" I smiled at him, feeling more than happy.

"That's why I do this for" He smiled, suddenly cupping my cheeks in his big hands.

I gulped.

Oh my god, was he finally going to kiss me..?

He caressed my cheeks, giving me tingles from head to toe as I wanted more of his touch. Jack startled me when he kissed my cheek again and shortly wrapped me into one of his warm comfortable hugs.

"See you soon, cutie" He grinned cheeky and went back to his car.

My eyes sticked on the dark blue car until it was out of my sight.

Holy damn..