remember how it used to be

when the sun would fill up the sky

remember how we used to feel

those days would never end

those days would never end

You wondered if you were becoming a nostalgist as looked through the stacks of old photo albums. Your children found it, asking you questions regarding your teenage years attending Regis High School.

Better known as the school for rejects. After the incident in 1991, you tried vigorously to put the past behind you. Sometimes you pretended Luis Cali never barged into the school, changing your life regardless of your consent.

"Who's this?" Your daughter asks, holding an image of you with a brown haired boy. A ghostly smile appear on your face, the unavoidable pangs of your heart return.

You gently take the photo from her. She's about the same age you were when you met Joey Trotta.

"My friend from Regis High School. I used to be such a hell raiser, you probably shouldn't follow my footsteps." You told your daughter with a half-hearted chuckle.

You were friends with Joey Trotta, you had feelings for him. Truthfully, even after all these years, you believed they never truly went away. You met him through mutual friends of his.

They were all troublemakers, especially Billy Tepper and they managed to rub off on you. Despite the endless days of being on clean up duty, you never regretted your actions.

However, Joey brought out these feelings you've never experienced before meeting him. Sure, you asked your mother what love felt like before but you didn't truly know it until you met him.

It odd too. Originally, you were quite intimidated by Joey and tried to stay away from him when you first starting attending Regis despite Billy's reassurances that Joey isn't that bad.

But one day, it seemed like everything clicked. You found out his passion and talent for art. A common ground between the both of you.

You've been drawing and painting since your elementary school days. Over the years, you had major improvements. It was your favorite past time, nice and relaxing. But most people didn't know until they've seen your room covered in canvas and your easel set up.

You had to admit, Joey was astonishingly talented. For hours, you would have conversations with him. First, it would start with art class then you two would drift off and talk about what watercoloring techniques you preferred. Eventually, he even opened up to about life – his mother and his estranged and grim relationship with his father.

One day, he invited you to sneak out with him. You weren't quite sure why he'd asked you out of all his friends but did it matter? Of course you accepted, who wouldn't had?

"Bring your art supplies, [Name]." Joey informed you in art class. At the time, both of you were across each on the wheel. You were attempting to make a bowl and having trouble compared to Joey.

Ceramics could be challenging at times.

"Where are we going, Joey?" You ask, curious about where the two of you were sneaking out to.

"It's a surprise." Joey responses, a smile gracing his face.

remember how it used to be

when the stars would fill the sky

remember how we used to dream

those nights would never end

those nights would never end

Joey had brought you to an opened field surrounded by trees nearby the school.

The night was beautiful. The stars and moon seemed so luminous as you sat next to Joey. You both were on a picnic blanket and there was a small lantern that gave enough light for you to sketch out the night sky. There was art supplies scattered everywhere.

You weren't sure how Joey obtained the items but you were flattered. He went out of his way to make this seemed special. However, you weren't quite sure what this was or you relation with Joey was.

For awhile, you were sketching, taking in every detail of the area.

While you were so focused into your piece, you didn't realize Joey was sketching you and how the lantern's light made your face seem so scintillating.

it was the sweetness of your skin

it was the hope of all we might have been

that fills me with the hope to wish

impossible things

After you felt somewhat accomplished with the sketch, you settled the book down and glanced at Joey.

"You done?" He asks you, closing and placing his sketchbook down next to yours.

"Yeah, I just wanted to enjoy the scenery with you now. Thanks for bringing me here, Joey." You responded, you felt so nervous now that you weren't fidgeting with your pencils.

He was so cute.

"It's no problem, [Name]. I wanted to spend time with you." Joey replies with a smile that makes your heart skip a beat.

"But we're always together, dude." You countered, if anything, you spent most of your time with him!

"Yeah, but we're also with Billy, Phil, Snuffy, Ricky, or Hank. If not, we're in class. I'm never just with you. Sometimes I want you for myself. It sounds selfish now that I'm saying it aloud." Joey voices with ardor, looking into your [eye color] orbs.

"I don't think it's selfish. In fact, I think that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." You admit, a blush growing heavily on your face.

He doesn't respond to you but instead pulls you into a kiss. You felt a spark, as cliche as it sounds.

"Be mine." He murmurs to you after you two pulled away to breathe. Of course you said yes.

This night was unforgettable to you. You had no idea how you managed to bewitch Joey Trotta but you were glad he returned the feelings.

Nevertheless, life taught you that can't have your cake and eat it too. The day Phil Donoghue left the campus of Regis High School seemed to be the end of happy days for you.

Life at Regis became horrifying the moment Luis Cali and his men step on the campus, causing bloodshed and fear to spread amongst the halls of the school.

You were petrified. Never would you had thought you'd become a hostage to terrorists. You couldn't go down the halls without men standing guard, heavily equipped with weaponry.

The student body was constantly head counted and at constant risk. If one individual wasn't there during head count, five students would die.

But amongst the animosity, you found solace within your boyfriend. The boys, especially under Billy's leadership, was determine to make it out alive.

With them, with Joey – you had hope.

Although, one day, Joey was called into the headmaster's office where Luis Cali had resided at.

You wish you knew what had happened in that office. What had urged Joey to steal a machine gun and open fire towards any hostiles in the courtyard?

Why? Why would he do that? Why did he risk it? Why did he have to get himself killed? Why did he have to be so impulsive?

If he had never done that, perhaps that crony of Cali's would had never shot Joey. He wouldn't had left you wondering what life could've possible been with him still alive after the terrorist attack.

That day, you felt yourself die. You cried so hard, it felt unreal. The only one who truly understood was Billy. It was a challenge for Hank and the others to hold Billy back when Joey was shot dead.

You constantly wonder, what would life had been with Joey still in it?

but now the sun shines cold

and all the sky is grey

the stars are dimmed by clouds and tears

and all i wish

is gone away

all i wish

is gone away

It's been years since the incident. You don't draw anymore. Shortly after Joey died, you looked through his sketchbook along with the boys.

However, when you turned to a certain page, you realized something. You realized that night in the open field, he wasn't drawing the scenery, he was drawing you. Looking at that sketch, you cried again in front of all the boys.

"He was important to you, wasn't he?" Your daughter states, pulling out of you memories.

"I loved him. I think I still do at times. He's long gone now, honey." You respond to your daughter, feeling crestfallen.

"I wonder what life would had been like if he was alive. I probably wouldn't be here, that's for sure." You daughter comments, her attention moving towards another photo.

You wondered too.

all i wish

is gone away

--

author's note:

This story was probably really confusing because most of the story takes place in a flashback of the reader's and her time with Joey. I hoped it wasn't confusing for you all! I'm also sorry about how OOC Joey is. I tried writing the reader's gender ambiguously so you can see the reader either as a male or a female. I did that mostly because I didn't want to explain why there's a girl in a all-boys school. If you read it in a female's perspective, you can imagine whatever reason to why there's a girl there at the school. I also apologize for any grammar or spelling errors.

Now that I'm on winter vacation, please send me oneshot requests!